Transitions Blue

8/14/2019 Transitions Blue

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TransitionsTransitionsputting the pieces togetherputting the pieces together~a course in~a course in

changechange


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? What youll learn today? What youll learn today

?? Identifying Lifes Rites of PassageIdentifying Lifes Rites of Passage

Clarifying Your Personal PassageClarifying Your Personal Passage

MarkersMarkersThe Phases & Transitions of LifeThe Phases & Transitions of Life

Making Plans, Adaptation, &Making Plans, Adaptation, &

FailureFailure

Strengthening Your PersonalStrengthening Your Personal

Networks of CommunityNetworks of Community


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Session 1Session 1

Lifes Rites ofLifes Rites ofPassagePassage

[Passage Points][Passage Points]


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Definition~ Rite ofDefinition~ Rite of

PassagePassage A ritual or ceremony signifyingA ritual or ceremony signifying

events in a persons life indicative ofevents in a persons life indicative ofa transition from one stage toa transition from one stage to

anotheranother A change in a persons life socialA change in a persons life social

statusstatus

An event which ushers an individualAn event which ushers an individualto a level of competency or maturityto a level of competency or maturitybeyond their previous levelbeyond their previous level

A celebration to honour anA celebration to honour anindividuals passage from one lifeindividuals passage from one life


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Entering/Exiting a PassageEntering/Exiting a Passage

Point?Point?

EnergyEnergy

New ideasyouNew ideasyou

see thingssee thingsdifferently nowdifferently now

Driven to try newDriven to try new

thingsthings Want a differentWant a different

environmentenvironment

Dreams outside theDreams outside the

boxbox

TiredTired

Lack motivationLack motivation

Frustration withFrustration with

yourselfyourself

Same ol same olSame ol same ol

Unfulfilled dreamsUnfulfilled dreams Stiffled energiesStiffled energies

you want to MOVEyou want to MOVE

SignsSi

gns

PositivePositiveSignsSi

gns

Negative

Negative


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Western Culture andWestern Culture and

Passage PointsPassage Points

Most world cultures insist on them:Most world cultures insist on them:

postmodern culture seeks topostmodern culture seeks to

eliminate themeliminate them

Outside of academiaOutside of academia ceremonyceremony isis

largely lackinglargely lacking

Recognition of achievement is down-Recognition of achievement is down-

playedplayed

Religious ceremony (exception-Religious ceremony (exception-

weddings) is viewed as nice butweddings) is viewed as nice but

hardly essential to lifehardly essential to life


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TheThe

UltimateUltimate

Rite ofRite of

PassagePassage


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Our NEED for Rites ofOur NEED for Rites of

PassagePassage Identifies TransitionsIdentifies Transitions Moves an individual to the next levelMoves an individual to the next level

of lifeof life

Brings definition to a new role in lifeBrings definition to a new role in lifeor workor work

Declares the end of an era of grief orDeclares the end of an era of grief or

painpain Recognizes achievement publiclyRecognizes achievement publicly

Forces one to rise to the occasionForces one to rise to the occasion

Raises a sense of ersonalRaises a sense of personal


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Our Rites of PassageOur Rites of Passage

Potty Training!!!Potty Training!!!

Being Able to SwimBeing Able to Swim

First KissFirst Kiss

Graduation fromGraduation fromPrimary SchoolPrimary School

First SexualFirst SexualEncounterEncounter

High SchoolHigh SchoolGraduationGraduation

First Job / CollegeFirst Job / College

Promotion /Promotion /GraduationGraduation

First MortgageFirst Mortgage

MarriageMarriage

First Child (orFirst Child (or

twins)twins) 16, 18, 21, 30, 50,16, 18, 21, 30, 50,

6565

[Divorce] ~New[Divorce] ~New

RelationshipRelationship EntrepreneurialEntrepreneurial

SpiritSpirit

RetirementRetirement

Last RitesLast Rites


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My Rites of PassageMy Rites of Passage

End of career inEnd of career inchemistrychemistry

Gang upGang up

Beth WatsonBeth Watson Moved to SuburbsMoved to Suburbs

First Job (lifeFirst Job (lifeguard)guard)

First VolvoFirst Volvo(1958 PV 544- Red, of(1958 PV 544- Red, of

course)course)

ValedictorianValedictorian

BA, BD, ThM, MABA, BD, ThM, MA

Philosophy to FaithPhilosophy to Faith

IVCFIVCF

Starr LynnStarr LynnVanArtsdalenVanArtsdalen

Firing RefiningFiring RefiningRefittingRefitting

Josh & BethJosh & Beth

NEEDNEEDincinc

DoctorateDoctorate

Resurgency,Resurgency,


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Personal MarkersPersonal Markers

~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.

Life-Life-

LineLineSomeSome

Early InEarly InLifeLife

SomeSome

Late inLate inLifeLife


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Session 2Session 2

Personal MarkersPersonal Markers[a Workshop][a Workshop]


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DirectionsDirections

1.1. Draw your Life-LineDraw your Life-Line


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Personal MarkersPersonal Markers

~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.

Life-Life-

LineLineSomeSome

Early InEarly InLifeLife

SomeSome

Late inLate inLifeLife


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DirectionsDirections

Draw your Life-LineDraw your Life-Line

Mark Passage Points, describingMark Passage Points, describing

them succinctly.them succinctly.

To what extent did each PassageTo what extent did each Passage

Point effect your Life? (1-10)Point effect your Life? (1-10)

Discuss within your group Discuss within your group WhatWhatdid you learn about yourself fromdid you learn about yourself from

each passage point?each passage point?

Large Group Wrap-up.Large Group Wrap-up.


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Session 3Session 3

Phases &Phases &TransitionsTransitions~facing lifes~facing lifes

unexpectedunexpectedtwists & turnstwists & turns


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learnedlearned

about lifeabout life

when I waswhen I wasstuck in thestuck in the

bathroombathroomwith awith a

house fullhouse full

of peopleof peopleand noand no

toilettoileta er.

OrOr


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This is My Life !This is My Life !


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Time Growth GraphTime Growth Graph

TimeTime

GrowGrowthth


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Phases & TransitionsPhases & Transitions

Phase

Phase

Phase

Goals

Direction

Decisive

+ Self-esteem

Stability

Innerpeace

Self-Confidence

No goals ordirection

Indecisive

Lousy self-esteem

Unstable(emotions, etc)

Inner turmoil -


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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS ~~strategies forstrategies forcoping with the difficult, painful, andcoping with the difficult, painful, and

confusing times in your lifeconfusing times in your lifeby William Bridgesby William Bridges

EndingEnding bringing to closure, with or bringing to closure, with or

without resolutionwithout resolution

Neutral ZoneNeutral Zone the time in between, the time in between,the space needed for being,the space needed for being,

regrouping and processing to moveregrouping and processing to move

beyondbeyond


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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS ~~strategies forstrategies forcoping with the difficult, painful, andcoping with the difficult, painful, and

confusing times in your lifeconfusing times in your lifeby William Bridgesby William Bridges

EndingEnding bringing to closure, with or bringing to closure, with or

without resolutionwithout resolution

Neutral ZoneNeutral Zone the time in between, the time in between,the space needed for being,the space needed for being,

regrouping and processing to moveregrouping and processing to move

beyondbeyond Making a BeginningMaking a Beginning launching, launching,

giving life, creating, but only aftergiving life, creating, but only after

something has come to a definitivesomething has come to a definitive

Y Ph &Y Ph &


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Your Phases &Your Phases &

TransitionsTransitions[[in small groupsin small groups]]

Where are you now? Phase orWhere are you now? Phase orTransition?Transition?

In that nebulous space between theIn that nebulous space between the

two?two?

What important decisions or eventsWhat important decisions or events

loom on your horizon?loom on your horizon?

Where can you find counsel,Where can you find counsel,

guidance, a friend?guidance, a friend?

If you need private time to process,If you need private time to process,

when will you schedule it? [You MUSTwhen will you schedule it? [You MUST

OrOr


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The PRIMARY QUESTIONThe PRIMARY QUESTION

is ~is ~With all the compiled experiencesWith all the compiled experiences

of my life, including what Ive learnedof my life, including what Ive learned

in this last Transition,in this last Transition,

WHAT AM I BEING DESIGNEDWHAT AM I BEING DESIGNED

FORFORIN THE NEXT PHASEIN THE NEXT PHASE

OF MY LIFE?OF MY LIFE?


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and you

think yourpresent job

stinks!?

More SpecificallyMore Specifically


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More SpecificallyMore Specificallythe Secondary Questionsthe Secondary Questions

before usbefore us~~ How can I gear up to come out of theHow can I gear up to come out of theother side of a transition?other side of a transition?

What inner pain must I face in order toWhat inner pain must I face in order tomove on?move on?

What proactive steps can I DO toWhat proactive steps can I DO to

prepare to reenter a healthy,prepare to reenter a healthy,

productive life-style and work force?productive life-style and work force?

How can I overcome my failure(s)? [or,How can I overcome my failure(s)? [or,

aa sensesense of failure.]of failure.]


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PlansPlans


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PLANSPLANS PrinciplesPrinciples

Before somethingBefore something

can be done,can be done,

something elsesomething else

must be donemust be donefirst.first. What is it? What is it?

DreamDreamWhat doWhat do

you want your lifeyou want your life

to look like ato look like amonth from today?month from today?

~six months~six months

~a year~a year

What new patternsWhat new patterns

do you need todo you need to

integrateintegrate NOWNOW??

What needs moreWhat needs moreattention in yourattention in your

life?life?

What needsWhat needs

refinement?refinement?


correction?correction?



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PLANS--PLANS--ExecutionExecution

Pick your top threePick your top threeplans to begin,plans to begin,

change, refine.change, refine.

What will you DOWhat will you DOto begin to createto begin to create

the new YOU!?the new YOU!?

Second-guessSecond-guess

Obstacles.Obstacles. Who will help you;Who will help you;

who will check inwho will check in

with you?with you?


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Work GroupsWork Groups

Name three (3) things you want toName three (3) things you want to

change or initiate in your life or workchange or initiate in your life or work

What will be the first steps in puttingWhat will be the first steps in putting

your plan into action?your plan into action?

What will have to go to make roomWhat will have to go to make room

for this new activity?for this new activity?

What challenges/problems do youWhat challenges/problems do you

initially expect? How will you meetinitially expect? How will you meet

them?them?


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AdaptationAdaptation


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AdaptationAdaptation

Intended PathIntended Path

Whoop

Whoop

ss

Wow!

What to do,What to do,

what to do?what to do?

GoalGoal


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Adapting to AdaptingAdapting to Adapting

Use pencilUse pencil(figuratively)(figuratively)

Learn to take risksLearn to take risks

Build in a fudgeBuild in a fudgefactor to allow forfactor to allow for

variationsvariations

Theres more thanTheres more than

ONE WAY to doONE WAY to dosomethingsomething

R-E-L-A-XR-E-L-A-X

Take some down-Take some down-

Give things TIMEGive things TIME

Dont try to doDont try to do

every-thing at onceevery-thing at once

Have a backupHave a backupplanplan

Have an escapeHave an escape

planplan Admit yourAdmit your

mistakesmistakes

Laugh at yourselfLaugh at yourself

moremore


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Confidentiality TimeConfidentiality Time


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Confidentiality TimeConfidentiality Time

QuestionQuestion:: Where have youWhere have you

failedfailed??[small groups][small groups] In relationships? Your profession?In relationships? Your profession?

School? Life?School? Life?

How did you feel about it?How did you feel about it?

How did others view you?How did others view you?

What did you do to get back on yourWhat did you do to get back on yourfeet?feet?

How did you move beyond theHow did you move beyond the

failure?failure? (Or maybe you havent yet.)(Or maybe you havent yet.)


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FailureFailure reflectionsreflections

Failure isnt the endFailure isnt the end Make a lot of mistakes; statisticallyMake a lot of mistakes; statistically

you cant get it wrong all the timeyou cant get it wrong all the time (e.g.(e.g.Thomas Edison)Thomas Edison)

Failure isnt necessarily failure. It justFailure isnt necessarily failure. It just

means you havent nailed downmeans you havent nailed down

Gods design for your life yetGods design for your life yet

If everything you do works youreIf everything you do works youre

not trying hard enoughnot trying hard enough..

Learn from failureLearn from failure


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Down & Dirty Discussion TimeDown & Dirty Discussion Time [large[largegroup]group]

~What have you~What have youlearned from your pastlearned from your past

mistakes, failures, andmistakes, failures, and

really big screw-upsreally big screw-ups

that you would like tothat you would like topass on to others?pass on to others?Basic Principle ofBasic Principle of

Making MistakesMaking Mistakes

~Always make the~Always make thesame mistake at leastsame mistake at least

twice.twice.

That way youll beThat way youll be

able to make itable to make it


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Session 5Session 5

Re-Entry ThreadsRe-Entry Threads

~~your network ofyour network of

relationshipsrelationships


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People and PlansPeople and Plans

If you areIf you aregoing to growgoing to grow

beyondbeyondwhere youwhere youare atare at

present youpresent youneed a PLANneed a PLAN

and youand you Your Network ofYour Network of


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Your Network ofYour Network of

RelationshipsRelationships

PEOPLE TYPESPEOPLE TYPES VIPsVIPs Very Important People Very Important People

VEPsVEPs Very Enlightening People Very Enlightening People

VHPsVHPs Very Helpful People Very Helpful People

VPPsVPPs Very Peripheral People Very Peripheral People

VCPsVCPs Very Critical People Very Critical People

VDPsVDPs Very Draining People Very Draining People

M N t k fM N t k f


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My Network ofMy Network of

RelationshipsRelationships


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VIPsVIPs Very Important Very Important

PeoplePeople

VEPsVEPsVery EnlighteningVery Enlightening

PeoplePeople

VHPsVHPsVery Helpful PeopleVery Helpful People

VPPsVPPsVery PeripheralVery Peripheral

PeoplePeople

[5-

12]

[6]

[3-4]

[?]

[1-2]

[0-2]


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Identifying YourIdentifying YourNetworks of PeopleNetworks of People

oror

Whos whoWhos whoforfor YouYou??

Y N t k fYo r Net ork of


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Your Network ofYour Network of

RelationshipsRelationships [Small Groups][Small Groups] Who are theWho are the VIPs, VEPs, VHPsVIPs, VEPs, VHPs, in, in

your life?your life?

How do you see them helping youHow do you see them helping you

establish a new beginning in the nextestablish a new beginning in the next

phase of your life?phase of your life?

Who are the one or two importantWho are the one or two important

people you will ask to come alongpeople you will ask to come alongside you this coming week?side you this coming week?

Who are theWho are the VCPsVCPs && VDPsVDPs in yourin your

life? How can you address the effectlife? How can you address the effect


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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONSA ReviewA Review


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What We Did TodayWhat We Did Today

Session 1: Lifes Rites ofSession 1: Lifes Rites of

Passage/Passage PointsPassage/Passage Points

Session 2: Personal MarkersSession 2: Personal Markers

(Workshop)(Workshop)

Session 3: Phases & TransitionsSession 3: Phases & Transitions

Session 4: Plans, Adaptation &Session 4: Plans, Adaptation &

FailureFailure

Session 5: Reentr Threads

ome naome na


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ome naome naQuestion?Question?

1.1. What will you DO with what youWhat will you DO with what you

learned today?learned today?

2.2. When will you put your plans andWhen will you put your plans andideas into action? [tonight?]ideas into action? [tonight?]

3.3. How is your sense of self rightHow is your sense of self right

now?now?

5.5. Was this course worth your timeWas this course worth your time

and mone ?and money?

TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS


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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS wassponsored by

The CollegeThe College

ChurchChurch

58 Pomeroy Terrace58 Pomeroy TerraceNorthampton, MANorthampton, MA

0106101061

413.586-0057413.586-0057www.thecollegechurcwww.thecollegechurc

NEEDNEEDincincOne S. PleasantOne S. Pleasant

StreetStreetAmherst, MAAmherst, MA

0100201002

413 259-0077413 259-0077www.needinc.orgwww.needinc.orgFeel free to contact either organizationFeel free to contacteither organization

for further help with the TRANSITIONS in yourfor further help with the TRANSITIONS in your

life.life.
http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/


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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS


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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS wassponsored by

The CollegeThe College

ChurchChurch

58 Pomeroy Terrace58 Pomeroy TerraceNorthampton, MANorthampton, MA

0106101061

413.586-0057413.586-0057www.thecollegechurcwww.thecollegechurc

NEEDNEEDincinc

One S. PleasantOne S. Pleasant

StreetStreetAmherst, MAAmherst, MA

0100201002

413 259-0077413 259-0077www.needinc.orgwww.needinc.orgFeel free to contact either organizationFeel free to contacteither organization

for further help with the TRANSITIONS in yourfor further help with the TRANSITIONS in your

life.life.
http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/

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Transitions Blue