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The Jayhawk WayThe Jayhawk WaySocial StylesSocial Styles
Develop strategies of communication for maximizing impact and to make interactions more productive.
Learn the characteristics of behavioral styles and determine how style differences impact interactions and relationships.
Learn the role that tension plays in interactions and determine how to leverage an understanding of style to best manage it.
Understand behavioral styles as viewed by others. Recognize the value of handling communication issues as they occur. Choose the most effective level of assertiveness based on circumstance and message that
maintains relationship and produces the desired result. Use a reliable formula to prepare and conduct a difficult conversation. Reduce the effect of difficult reactions that arise from mixed messages and lack of confidence in
the communicator. Understand the other person’s perspective during a conversation, regardless of the issue or
situation.
Develop strategies of communication for maximizing impact and to make interactions more productive.
Learn the characteristics of behavioral styles and determine how style differences impact interactions and relationships.
Learn the role that tension plays in interactions and determine how to leverage an understanding of style to best manage it.
Understand behavioral styles as viewed by others. Recognize the value of handling communication issues as they occur. Choose the most effective level of assertiveness based on circumstance and message that
maintains relationship and produces the desired result. Use a reliable formula to prepare and conduct a difficult conversation. Reduce the effect of difficult reactions that arise from mixed messages and lack of confidence in
the communicator. Understand the other person’s perspective during a conversation, regardless of the issue or
situation.
Learning ObjectivesLearning Objectives
Work differently from you when in groups
Plan differently when with others
Are motivated for different reasons
Differ in willingness to take risks
Make use of time differently
Make decisions differently
Manage tasks differently
Work differently from you when in groups
Plan differently when with others
Are motivated for different reasons
Differ in willingness to take risks
Make use of time differently
Make decisions differently
Manage tasks differently
Three Quarters of people With Whom You Work
Three Quarters of people With Whom You Work
Social Styles® are predictable patterns of actions that others can observe and agree upon for describing one’s behavior
All styles are successful and get results
We all have style range and the ability to flex or adapt based on the situation
Social Styles® are predictable patterns of actions that others can observe and agree upon for describing one’s behavior
All styles are successful and get results
We all have style range and the ability to flex or adapt based on the situation
Social Style ConceptSocial Style Concept
Actions - What we say or do
That can be seen or heard
Not the reasons or rationale behind those actions
Actions - What we say or do
That can be seen or heard
Not the reasons or rationale behind those actions
Observable BehaviorsObservable Behaviors
…that make us more like some than others
Quieter
Slower paced
Facially controlled
Monotone voice
Indirect eye contact
Casual posture
Leans back
Quieter
Slower paced
Facially controlled
Monotone voice
Indirect eye contact
Casual posture
Leans back
Social Style: Some Patterns of BehaviorSocial Style: Some Patterns of Behavior
Louder
Faster paced
Facially animated
Inflected voice
Direct eye contact
Rigid posture
Leans forward
Louder
Faster paced
Facially animated
Inflected voice
Direct eye contact
Rigid posture
Leans forward
Social Style…identifying my behaviors:Social Style…identifying my behaviors:
Analytical Driver
Amiable Expressive
ControlledFact
Less ExpressionMonotone
Moderate PaceTask
EmotiveFeeling EmotionMore Expressive
InflectedVaried Pace
People
Ask/ListenSofter
Moderate PaceLean Back
Less OpinionsSlower DecisionsLess Eye Contact
Tell/TalkLouder
Fast PacedLeans Toward
More OpinionsFaster Decisions
More Eye Contact
Communication Style StrengthsCommunication Style Strengths
Analytical Driver
Amiable Expressive
Controlled
Emotive
Ask/Listen Tell/Talk
ObjectivePrecise
ThoroughDetailedRational
Controlled
SupportiveEmpathic
LoyalGroup-Oriented
Team FocusSharing
DecisiveToughCandidEfficientResults-OrientedControlled
CreativeEnthusiasticHumorousEnergeticFocus on VisionPromoter
Communication Style GapsCommunication Style Gaps
Analytical Driver
Amiable Expressive
Controlled
Emotive
Ask/Listen Tell/Talk
SlowOvercautious
IndecisiveInflexible
UnfriendlyNit-Picky
Rigid
ComplyingPushoverFollower
Self-SacrificingPassive
Hesitating
AutocraticOverbearingInsensitiveImpatientPresumingRuthlessDominating
ExcitableHigh StrungEmotionalLoose CannonLacks DetailOver-CommitedNot Focused
Purpose: Gain insight into how each style prefers to be worked with or influenced
Timing: 60 minutes. Move to the corner of the room for your style
• Step 1: Small Group Activity (10 minutes)
Brainstorm your responses to each question and place the responses on the flip chart.
⁻ What approach makes you more receptive?⁻ What does your style find annoying or frustrating about an approach?⁻ What’s a great question to ask the other three styles to learn more about them?⁻ How does your style create tension?
• Step 2: Full Group Debrief (40 minutes)
⁻ Share your responses and rationale.
Purpose: Gain insight into how each style prefers to be worked with or influenced
Timing: 60 minutes. Move to the corner of the room for your style
• Step 1: Small Group Activity (10 minutes)
Brainstorm your responses to each question and place the responses on the flip chart.
⁻ What approach makes you more receptive?⁻ What does your style find annoying or frustrating about an approach?⁻ What’s a great question to ask the other three styles to learn more about them?⁻ How does your style create tension?
• Step 2: Full Group Debrief (40 minutes)
⁻ Share your responses and rationale.
Activity: Four Quadrant SummitActivity: Four Quadrant Summit
DriverWalk up, press the button repeatedly thinking that it will get the elevator to arrive sooner
ExpressiveLet others in…saying “always room for one more, we’ll wait for you”
AmiableWatch the whole elevator bank – never just that one elevator – so that you can get an “express” elevator just for your team
AnalyticalGet on the elevator, count the number of people, and guess their weight to determine if car is overloaded
Getting on an elevator…
A Little Styles HumorA Little Styles Humor
Styles Under StressStyles Under Stress
AnalyticalAvoids
Withdrawals
DriverCommandsTakes Over
AmiableAcquiescesGoes Along
ExpressiveAttacks
Confronts
Need Orientation Growth Edge
Expressive Recognition Spontaneity Restrain
Analytical Accuracy Thinking Decide Sooner
Amiable Harmony Relationship Speak Up
Driver Results Action Listen
Style AttributesStyle Attributes
Social StyleQuadrantsSocial StyleQuadrants
Analytical Driver
Amiable Expressive
Controlled / Task
Emotive / Relationship
Tell/TalkAsk/Listen
Temporarily adjusting your behavior to manage tension and to encourage others to behave more productively with you.
Temporarily adjusting your behavior to manage tension and to encourage others to behave more productively with you.
What is Style Flexing?What is Style Flexing?
Recognize the other person’s style
Plan your flex: content and delivery
Do the flex, hold the meeting
Evaluate how you did the flexing
Recognize the other person’s style
Plan your flex: content and delivery
Do the flex, hold the meeting
Evaluate how you did the flexing
Four Steps to Style FlexingFour Steps to Style Flexing
Flexing to Style PreferencesFlexing to Style PreferencesAnalytical Driver
Amiable Expressive
Controlled
Emotive
Tell/Talk
Don’t rush, don’t waste timeAnswer all questions
Give solid, tangible evidenceDo not push/hard sellDo not over-promise
Be relaxed, moderately pacedActively listen
Get to know themShow personal interest
Ask for their input/reaction
Be fast-paced, get to the point quicklyStart with business, give the bottom lineUse facts, not feelingsBe clear, concise, and briefDon’t waste timeOffer options with brief supporting data
Be upbeat, fast-paced, funLet them talkAllow time for socializingTolerate digressionsGive them choicesFocus on the big picture
Ask/Listen
Improving Your VersatilityImproving Your VersatilityAnalytical Driver
Amiable Expressive
Controlled
Emotive
Tell/Talk
Be more flexible, more open-mindedOpenly show more concern for other people
Be decisive with dataListen for people’s feelings
Be less sensitiveBe willing to take risks
Say “no” more oftenLet people know what you think
Acknowledge different points of viewShow more patienceTone down intensityPay attention to feelings
Talk lessSpend more time looking at factsControl time and emotionThink before you speak
DECIDE
DECLARE
LISTEN
RESTRAIN & CHECKAsk/Listen
The Spirit of the ConversationThe Spirit of the Conversation
Interrogation Interview Conversation
Delivering tough news
Enforcing policy
Developmental feedback
Conflicts and disagreements
Challenging others on their decisions
Delivering tough news
Enforcing policy
Developmental feedback
Conflicts and disagreements
Challenging others on their decisions
The Difficult ConversationsThe Difficult Conversations Discussing compensation
Handling complaints
Requesting help
Negotiating
Discussing compensation
Handling complaints
Requesting help
Negotiating
A process which allows two or more people to achieve mutual understanding in order to
exchange information, move toward a specific goal, resolve a situation, and/or build
relationships.
A process which allows two or more people to achieve mutual understanding in order to
exchange information, move toward a specific goal, resolve a situation, and/or build
relationships.
A Conversation Is...A Conversation Is...
Who– Who will be involved?– What are the communication styles involved, including you?– What can you do in advance to make each person more
comfortable?– What signs of tension should you look for?
Purpose– Why do you want to have the discussion/conversation “WIFM”– Goals
– What you both hope to achieve
Rationale and/or Issue(s)– What the critical issues are for you or the company (or both)– What’s the benefit of addressing this?– Why it might be a problem
Who– Who will be involved?– What are the communication styles involved, including you?– What can you do in advance to make each person more
comfortable?– What signs of tension should you look for?
Purpose– Why do you want to have the discussion/conversation “WIFM”– Goals
– What you both hope to achieve
Rationale and/or Issue(s)– What the critical issues are for you or the company (or both)– What’s the benefit of addressing this?– Why it might be a problem
Difficult Conversation Content – How to Plan for It
Difficult Conversation Content – How to Plan for It
Ideas– What ideas or solutions you have
Actions– What you need to get agreement
regarding– Follow-up actions to be taken
Reactions– How do you have to self manage?– What reactions do you think you’ll
receive from the other person?
Ideas– What ideas or solutions you have
Actions– What you need to get agreement
regarding– Follow-up actions to be taken
Reactions– How do you have to self manage?– What reactions do you think you’ll
receive from the other person?
PurposeFamiliarize yourself with a process for preparing for crucial conversations.
Timing 10 minutes.
Step 1Think of the crucial conversation you prepared as prework.
Make notes on the worksheet provided about major points that will help you in preparing for this conversation.
Step 2Discuss your thoughts with a partner and receive feedback from their perspective.
Activity:Activity:
The Communication ProcessThe Communication ProcessThe engine at the heart of every conversation. Speaker and Listener play active roles.The engine at the heart of every conversation. Speaker and Listener play active roles.
Your point is… Your concern is… You're asking…
My thought is… I'd like to see… My experience is…
How does this sound? What are your thoughts? How are you seeing this? What do you think about…
Open Discussion– Purpose for discussion (WIFM)
– Goals for discussion
Present Critical Issue and Rationale
– Issue to be addressed
– Rationale and reason behind issue
Open Discussion– Purpose for discussion (WIFM)
– Goals for discussion
Present Critical Issue and Rationale
– Issue to be addressed
– Rationale and reason behind issue
The Difficult ConversationThe Difficult Conversation
Ask for Reaction and Their Ideas
Present Potential Solutions
Close
– Actions to be taken and by whom
– Follow up to be done and by whom
Ask for Reaction and Their Ideas
Present Potential Solutions
Close
– Actions to be taken and by whom
– Follow up to be done and by whom
ReflectingThoughts
• You think…
• You believe…
• Your point is…
• You’d like to know…
• You’re asking…
• You’re wondering…
• Your concern is…
ReflectingThoughts
• You think…
• You believe…
• Your point is…
• You’d like to know…
• You’re asking…
• You’re wondering…
• Your concern is…
Reflective ListeningReflective ListeningReflectingFeelings
• You’re feeling…
• You sound…
• You look…
ReflectingFeelings
• You’re feeling…
• You sound…
• You look…
Reflecting Thoughtsand Feelings
• You sound…because…
• You’re feeling…about…
Reflecting Thoughtsand Feelings
• You sound…because…
• You’re feeling…about…
Automatic
“Fight or flight”
A predictable response
Driven by our need to protect ourselves
All about emotions
Automatic
“Fight or flight”
A predictable response
Driven by our need to protect ourselves
All about emotions
Nature of Stress & DefensivenessNature of Stress & Defensiveness
Styles Under StressStyles Under StressAnalyticalAvoids/Withdrawals
DriverCommands/Takes Over
AmiableAcquiesces/Goes Along
ExpressiveAttacks/Confronts
Controlled
Emotive
Ask/Listen Tell/Talk• Ask open questions about concerns• Allow them to express disagreement
• Restate their concerns• Offer options for moving forward• Recommit to results and time frame
• Logically discuss the issue• Acknowledge a need for time• Set a distance
• Acknowledge feelings and points of view• Separate emotions from facts
Speak: Send your message Ask: For reactions Listen: REFLECT, REFLECT, REFLECT reactions Response:
Options:– Clarify/elaborate– Ask questions– Restate points of view– Get agreement going forward– Think about it/stop discussion
Handling Stress ReactionsHandling Stress Reactions
Surprise– Confusion– Disappointment– Questioning
Anger/Hurt– Strong disagreement– Denial
Rationalization– Justification– Excuses
Surprise– Confusion– Disappointment– Questioning
Anger/Hurt– Strong disagreement– Denial
Rationalization– Justification– Excuses
Typical Stress ReactionsTypical Stress Reactions Apathy
– Resignation
– Silence
– Lack of caring
Acceptance– Acknowledging
– Showing a willingness to improve
Apathy– Resignation
– Silence
– Lack of caring
Acceptance– Acknowledging
– Showing a willingness to improve
One Key Action I Will Take Following This Workshop Is…
One Key Action I Will Take Following This Workshop Is…
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