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See our gorgeous cover star 2014 winner, read about the 5 best pets for kids, secrets that kids shouldn't keep and make some delicious fruit bites.
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OCTOBER 2014
Secrets kids
Shouldn’t keep
Top 5 best
pets for kids
Your Free online Parenting magazine
Meet our
cover star
cutie!
Tips from a mum
to her daughter
October 2014
Special Features
12
18 27
Tips on dating - from a mum to her daughter 5 best pets for kids PJ Millar Caterpillar book review
Articles
Meet our cover star model! The truth about travelling with kids
7 18
Regulars
Letter from the Editor Ask a professional - ques-tions from readers Monthly Recipe - Vegetar-ian Chilli Your Story - My struggle with percreta Make a Change Mums and the City - with Alexis Galloway Fashion with Dominique Something Extra - by Caro-lyn Galbraith Did you know? Kid’s fun
5 10
11
14
16 17
20 23
26 28
4
Contents
8 24 26
Secrets kids shouldn’t keep My 2014 money challenge Anxiety in boys
Letter from the Editor
Julie-Anne England
Dear Reader,
Well it’s been a long wait but finally you get to see our cover star winner. It is not
hard to see why this little cutie stole the hearts of so many of our readers. You can
learn more about him on page 7.
This month has been a busy month here at Small Steps with not one, but two maga-
zine issues coming out this month. This regular issue plus our special issue Mums
in Business which comes out on the 13th of October. This issue will be packed
with information on starting and running your own home business, tips on growth,
advertising and social media plus real case studies with some local mums in busi-
ness. This is an issue not to be missed for business owners or people wanting to
start their own business so please share with friends and family.
This month we introduce to you a brand new fashion kids section written by mum
and business owner Dominique Perri. Dominique will be joining us each month to
share some of her favourite kids brands.
Lastly, we have been receiving many requests for our magazine to come back into
print. So as not to mess up our green initiative we have decided to look at printing
for those who want to purchase our print copy each month. This way we will avoid
wastage and just print for those who prefer to have the print copy. Interest needs to
be calculated before we decide to go ahead so please comment on our social media,
or website to let us know your thoughts - print or online?
Kindly,
Meet our cover star model!
Were you surprised when you found out
that your little boy had been voted as our
cover star model? Yes I was, there were
so many beautiful kids, and his Dad was
very excited to break the news to me.
What is Xavier like as a child?
(personality etc.) He is very matter of fact
and detail oriented, he wants to know
why. He is very loving. He shows amaz-
ing resilience and understanding for his
age dealing with his Dad’s deployments.
Does Xavier have any siblings? No, Well
yes if you include his “big brother” Bugsy
our Great Dane, they are inseparable.
An interesting story/fact about him – He
loves spicy food, we recently went to Sin-
gapore and he ate everything, and always
asked for satay where ever we went,
What you love most about him? I love
that he makes me laugh every single day,
and that he always is excited about life.
6
Xavier
Miller
After an overwhelming response to our cover star competition and photos of the cut-
est kids around, we were able to choose finalists and our readers sent in their votes for
their favourites. Today we announce the winner of the 2014 Small Steps Parenting
Magazine’s cover star winner - Xavier Miller. It is not hard to see why this gorgeous
little man was selected. As our winner he receives a framed copy of this month’s
magazine and a photoshoot by our talented Kate Roberts from Big Fish Photography.
Here we speak with Xavier’s mum Rachael.
Xavier’s entry
photo into our
2014 cover star
competition
Xavier’s
favourites Food - pasta
Game - Hungry
Caterpillar app
on iPad
Time of the day -
mornings after
breakfast
Animal - his pet
dog Bugsy
Person - Daddy
Toy - George
from Peppa
Pig
Secrets Kids shouldn’t keep As a child how many
times were you asked
to “keep a secret”?
Keeping a secret can be
harmless. For example,
when you are hiding a
birthday present from
someone, or if you are
simply wanting to
“surprise” a loved one.
These are fun secrets,
with the intent of mak-
ing the recipient happy.
Including children in
these secrets is exciting
and wonderful, and in
fact, they can be a
handy tool in helping to teach children
about managing impulsivity and delayed
gratification. The key however, is in the
language we use. There is a very big differ-
ence between the words “secret” and
“surprise”.
So what about secrets children shouldn’t
keep? These are typically secrets that cause
a child distress and/or anxiety. As a guide,
examples of these kinds of secrets are:
If an adult in their life is making them
feel "icky".
Many children, especially younger chil-
dren, do not yet have the self-awareness
and understanding to be able to accurately
label how something makes them feel. As
such, it is important to use their language,
and so describing something as feeling
“icky” or “yuck” is often better than using
words such as “anxious” or “upset”. Children should be encouraged to disclose
any secret that makes them feel uncomfort-
able. As an adult, we can do this by provid-
ing reassurance that they won’t be in trou-
ble for “telling” and teaching them about
healthy boundaries.
If they know someone who is being bul-
lied.
This can be really tough, as children will
almost always feel a loyalty towards a
friend, even if they are doing the wrong
thing. Sticking up for someone who is be-
ing bullied also carries the associated so-
cial stigma of being labeled a “dobber” or
“traitor”. All children need to learn that
they have the right to feel safe. No matter
what. This means ensuring that they do not
suffer negative consequences for naming
unacceptable and hurtful behavior.
If someone they love is being hurt/harmed
We all feel scared some times. And fear
can be paralyzing, especially if that fear is
about a loved one being hurt, or of some-
one hurting us. For a child, carrying the
burden of knowing a loved one is being
harmed – is psychologically and emotion-
8
9
ally damaging. Children are “egocentric”
meaning that they see the world according
to themselves. Consequently, they internal-
ize blame. They feel as though it’s their
fault, even if it isn’t. Asking a child to “not
tell” is basically saying; “if you tell, it will
be all your fault”.
If they feel sick/unwell
Most children don’t like upsetting adults if
they can avoid it. Remember they internal-
ize blame, and so this means that an adult’s
upsetting reaction can be interpreted as
“it’s my fault”. This can also be the case if
they worry that telling an adult they are
unwell or sick will result in a negative re-
action. As adults, we simply need to be
mindful of how we react to our children, so
that they feel supported and nurtured, espe-
cially when they are unwell.
If they are worried about something
It may sound simplistic, but the rule of
thumb is this: If a child is worrying or over
-thinking ANYTHING, they should always
be encouraged to talk to an adult. Ensuring
that your child has trusted adults in their
life is really important, as there will often
be times that they don’t feel comfortable
talking to a parent. This is particularly the
case when children develop into teenagers.
For these older children, not disclosing
something to a parent is not necessarily an
indicator that there is something wrong.
Rather it may just mean that they feel un-
comfortable talking to mum and/or dad.
This is where a trusted aunt/uncle/
grandparent/coach or teacher comes in
very handy!
Children’s brains develop rapidly, however
it is not until our mid 20’s that our brains
are fully developed. This means that chil-
dren do not have the cognitive capacity to
be able to make abstract, and well thought
out decisions. They see the world in black
and white, and are not able to accurately
weigh up the pros and cons of an issue or
problem. They are impulsive, and emotion-
ally reactive – and young children see
themselves as the center of the universe,
which means that they often feel responsi-
ble for the reactions of others, especially if
that person is a trusted adult.
For these reasons having a “no secret” rule
for very young children is the safest bet, as
well as keeping all communication lines
open. This means holding back our “adult”
interpretations and judgements and instead,
viewing the world through our child’s in-
nocent eyes. It also means being mindful of
how we react to our children, and accepting
and acknowledging when we get it wrong
and make mistakes.
As children grow and develop, the chal-
lenge for adults and parents is to accept the
fact that their “child” doesn’t tell them eve-
rything anymore. Rather than interpreting
this as a negative thing, it’s important to
support and nurture your growing child’s
independence while always ensuring that
you are emotionally available should they
need you.
However, if you sense that your child is
keeping a secret that’s bothering them –
encourage them to talk to a trusted adult
about it, even if that adult isn’t you.
This is the “tight rope balancing act” of
parenting. We all fall off from time to time,
but it’s important to get straight back on
and keep trying!
Written by Leanne Hall, clinical psycholo-
gist and Mind & Body Expert on Network
10's The Living Room and Studio 10. Plus,
mum of two. Learn more about Leanne on
her website www.leannehall.com.au
Ask a Professional...
QUESTION: I am 31 weeks pregnant and my baby is in breech position. Will it still be able
to turn before birth?
Combos Slides Obstacle Castles Slushie Machines
Phone: (02) 4571 1240 or 0402 100 681
Email: tomcatjim1@bigpond.com
Birthdays/Corporate Events/Preschools/Fetes/Christmas/New Years
The short answer to this question is yes, it is certainly possible for your baby to turn to
the head down or cephalic position before birth particularly at this stage in your preg-
nancy. At 31 weeks gestation babies generally still have room to move fairly freely in
the uterus. As your pregnancy progresses and baby becomes larger in size it is perhaps
less likely that he/she will turn however, as a midwife, I have seen babies change posi-
tion from breech to cephalic right up until term (40 weeks) Occasionally there may be a
reason why a baby adopts the breech position, for example the shape of a woman’s pel-
vis or a placenta (afterbirth) which is not normally situated, for example one that em-
beds in the lower part of the uterus. Your health care provider will monitor your baby’s
position with ultrasounds particularly as you get closer to birth. It is wise to discuss any
concerns that you may have regarding yourself or your baby with your doctor or mid-
wife as every woman is an individual and not all pregnancies are the same.
This answer has been supplied by Ruth Bosanquet who is our expert panel midwife.
Learn more about Ruth on our "About Us" page on our website.
11
Monthly Recipe
FRUIT
BITES
INGREDIENTS
200g Dried Fruit (see suggestions be-
low)
50g Desiccated Coconut
3-4 Teaspoons Honey (to taste)
Fruit Suggestions (choose 1 or mix
them):
Apricots
Mango
Apple
Pineapple (no need to add
honey)
Paw Paw (no need to add
honey)
METHOD 1. Place ingredients (start with the light coloured fruits) into the food processor or thermo-
mix and blend on the highest speed for 45 seconds. Scrape down the sides and repeat. If
using a food processor you may have to repeat again, in a thermomix 2 times is enough.
It is ready when it starts to form a ball as the blade is turning. It will be nice and moist
but not to wet, if its wet add a little dried coconut.
2. Roll the mixture into small balls then roll in extra coconut.
3. Store in the fridge for up to 2 weeks or freeze them and take them out the morning you
want to use them.
This recipe comes from Trendy lil treats. Check them out on their
website www.trendyliltreats.com.au
12
Tips on dating
From a mother to her daughter
It’s hard to imagine a time when you will be
old enough to drive, finish school, make
your own plans, start dating. Right now you
lay in my arms fast asleep, the beautiful new
born that I delivered only hours ago.
But as I watch you breathe I find myself
picturing the future, making plans for you,
seeing you in my minds eye running and
splashing at the beach, being thrown in the
air by your dad, asking for help on your
homework and bringing home your very first
boyfriend.
As a mother I feel like my job is to protect
you, I never want you experience pain or
hurt or have your heart broken but I know
that this is outside what I can possibly do.
All I can do is prepare for your life ahead
and pray that you choose to make the right
decisions.
One day you will be old enough to start
looking for a man, one who you could begin
a life with, one who will make you a mother.
Before you embark on this exciting journey
please me share some things that I have
learnt.
#1 For any first date make sure you meet
somewhere nice and public. Being picked up
from your home is never a good idea with a
brand new relationship as he will now know
where you live. Best to leave this until you
know him better. Also being in a public
place will protect you if you decide you are
not happy with your date choice.
#2 Have a plan B in case your date doesn’t
13
go to plan. Get one of your friends to call
you sometime during your date. This will
give you a nice out if you need it. If you are
enjoying the date, just tell your friends you
are on a date and you will call them back
later, but if you would rather end the date
use this phone call to have you needing to be
somewhere else.
#3 Always tell someone where you are go-
ing. I know most guys seem nice and many
are but there are some with bad intentions.
Protect yourself by letting someone know
where you are and let him know that others
know too.
#4 Don’t do anything you are uncomfortable
with. If he is a decent guy he will not expect
you to do something you don’t want to.
#5 Set boundaries for yourself and stick to
them,
#6 Never be afraid to say no.
#7 When dating, look for the qualities that
will complement you and your dreams. You
need to be with someone who will believe in
you, love you, trust you, protect you, chal-
lenge you and cherish you.
#8 Don’t ever settle. The perfect one for you
will come along when the time is right.
Don’t ever settle in fear that you will miss
out.
#9 Marriage is a big and lasting decision.
Doubts are a warning signal that all may not
be right.
#10 When things seem to be getting serious
make sure you discuss big issues together
such as children, living arrangements, paren-
tal boundaries and home responsibilities.
Tackling these questions early can help you
discover deal breakers or red flags in your
relationship.
#11 Discuss your dreams and desires with
each other. You don’t want to find out years
down the track that you are on two totally
different paths.
#12 Watch him in a variety of situations -
see how he copes when he is angry, frus-
trated, tired, stressed, sad and so on. You can
learn a lot about him from these situations.
#13 Watch how he interacts with his mother
and sisters (if he has any). This will show
you the respect he has for women. If he
treats his mother badly don’t assume it is
because of her, this may well be how he
treats you in the future.
#14 Don’t give your all, very early into a
relationship. You need to show him that you
are precious. If everyone gets every part of
you it won’t be special for the one you are
meant to spend your life with.
#15 Allow yourself to hear the opinions of
others about your new date but don’t make
decisions based entirely on them. Some peo-
ple have good intentions and want to protect
you others may be just jealous.
#16 Go with your heart, if it is right you will
feel peaceful about your decision. You and
only you are the one who has to live with
your choices.
#17 Don’t ever, ever forgot that I am your
mother. I love you and want nothing but the
best for you so you can come to me anytime,
with anything. There is no mess that I won’t
try to help you with.
Written by Julie-Anne England.
14
Your Story
Christina’s Story - My struggle with Percreta
On the 23rd of Nov, 2012 it all started. I
was pregnant with our 7th baby, and very
happy to be. I was feeling good and ex-
cited to be expecting again. This morning
I got up with my then one and half year
old, and started on getting him some
breakfast when I felt a gush. It was unex-
pected, I didn’t need to pee, but I though
maybe I had a weak bladder moment. So I
went to the toilet to check. When I got
there I discovered it was not wee, but was
actually blood.
My heart sank. My first thought was “I’m
losing my baby”. I cleaned up the mess
the best I could, and as I stood up, I felt
something else. A lemon size clot came
out. It looked like it was containing my
baby. I couldn’t put this is in toilet, so
my dear husband kindly went and buried
it.
We then went on to the hospital. I have a
negative blood group so knew I needed to
go get an Anti-D injection. While there
the Doctors did a few tests, which when
they came back surprised them. My HCG
levels were quite high for a single preg-
nancy, let alone someone that was having
a miscarriage. After several scans, it was
discovered that I was still pregnant, but
had lost a twin. We were both happy and
sad at the same time. I had a SCH (Sub
Chronic Hemorrhage) and what looked
like a low-lying placenta.
This was the beginning to what was a
very stressful pregnancy.
Over the next 13 weeks I had over 10
bleeds, each time I needed to make an-
other trip to our local hospital, for a scan
to check we still had a live baby. Finally
at my 20 week scan it was discovered that
I have Complete Placenta Previa, where
the placenta sits at the bottom of the
uterus, covering the cervix, making a
vaginal birth very dangerous for both
mother and baby.
I was thankful when I got to 24 weeks
and my baby at least had a chance of life.
I was then grateful when I got to 32
weeks, which meant I could stay in my
area to deliver and be near my family,
should she come early.
As the pregnancy progressed I spoke with
doctors about the chance of me having
Accreta, there was a slight chance and the
placenta was near my old c-section scars
but they didn’t think I had it.
Then on the 18th of June I was sitting at
home with my then 6 children, and I felt
another gush. My heart sank. I knew I
was bleeding. I went to the toilet to check
and blood was pouring out. My children
helped me call an ambulance, my hus-
band and someone to come and stay with
them.
I was rushed directly into the OR, where
Marcella was deliver immediately. They
then turned their attention to saving my
life. It turned out that I not only had Com-
plete Placenta Previa, but also Percreta
(the worst form of Accreta) and my pla-
centa had grown through my cervix and
uterus, attached to my urethra, bladder
and major blood vessels in the area. Ac-
creta is a life threatening obstetric condi-
tion, that can be fault to both mother and
baby. The condition has three stages, ac-
creta, increta and percreta, being the
worst. Accreta is where the placenta ab-
normally adheres and invades the uterine
wall. In the case of percreta, the placenta
invades completely through the uterus
and then beginning attaching to other
blood vessels and organs in the area, most
commonly the bladder, bowels, and arter-
ies. Due to the involvement of blood ves-
sels and organs, the threat of bleeding out
during delivery is a very real concern, and
the number 1 reason for maternal death in
Accreta cases. The cases of Accreta in
pregnancy are on the rise due to the in-
crease rate of c-sections, D & C’s, abor-
tions, placenta previa, pregnancy in
women over 35, uterine surgery, endome-
triosis, and other invasive contraceptive
methods.
It took a team of doctors and specialists, 5
days on life support, 23 hours of surgery,
a full hysterectomy, bladder and urethra
repair, and a massive blood transfusion of
54 units of blood and 80 blood products,
(a total of around 134 donations) to save
my life, using all the available O- in my
State.
This was a trying time for everyone in-
volved; the doctors explained that I was
very lucky to be here.
As fast as they were
putting the blood in, I
was losing it. Due to
all the blood, it was
hard for them to find
where the placenta
ended and I began, and
the only tools they had
to help guide them
were their hands. They
did the best they could.
Under the belief that I
probably wasn’t going
to make it, the NICU
nurse’s brought my
baby down and put her on my chest, so
that we could have some time together
before I died, and my family and baby
would have some memento to remember
me by. The moment that they put her on
my chest I responded, I rubbed my chin
on the top of her head, and that is when I
started to improve.
I am very glad to be here today to be able
to tell my story, and enjoy the life I have
with my children. Since coming home
from hospital and starting to move on
with my life I have become the President
of the Australian Chapter of the Hope for
Accreta Foundation. Through which I am
helping many women and their families
that are going through a similar experi-
ence. I am also working the Red Cross,
to help bring attention to the need for
blood donation, with out the donations of
so many people I would not be here to-
day.
If you have or are experiencing Accreta,
please contact me via email:
cmathewson.hfa.aus.nz@gmail.com and I
will help connect you with someone local
to you. www.hopeforaccreta.org
15
Change Change
16
When Caroline Meehan started a not-for-profit organisation called Heartfelt Homes just
over a year ago she could have had no idea what was coming. Heartfelt Homes is a
charity that finds hotel, motel and B&B rooms for people in desperate need such as
those who find themselves being treated at hospital as an outpatient or those who have a
loved one in hospital.
Within months of starting this charity Caroline’s husband Andy was ironically and dev-
astatingly diagnosed with cancer. With two small children to care for Caroline was sud-
denly thrown into a new role of caregiver and breadwinner. As a family who lives in
rural NSW she also discovered just how essential Heartfelt Homes is.
After being diagnosed a week before Christmas the family had a rough path ahead of
them as they sought to deal with childcare, long drives back and forth from the hospital
and countless specialists. A surgery date meant they needed accommodation but with a
surgery reschedule the cost of accommodation was forfeited and a new date was set.
Andy’s diagnosis had a massive financial impact on the family. A builder and carpenter,
Andy was the main income earner. This stopped on the day he received his diagnosis.
“We had all our usual bills to pay – mortgage, utilities, petrol, food, etc – and nothing
coming in, as I wasn’t receiving a wage at Heartfelt Homes,” explains Caroline. “This
gave me such an understanding of what it is like to be in this position. All the research I
had done over the past year to try to understand what people endured and how they
managed could not have prepared me for this”
“Along with the intense worry you constantly live with, you also have to figure out
where the next mortgage payment is coming from and how you will afford the petrol for
the continuing hospital trips – not to mention the cost of parking and childcare. I truly
didn’t know how we could pay for it. I had to hair-dress to bring in the odd bit of cash
here and there; this was a relief but also added to my exhaustion.”
Fortunately, Andy’s surgery went well, as did his radiation therapy in March. Andy still
has to visit the hospital every month, which means a six-hour round trip every few
weeks, as well as petrol costs, parking costs and childcare costs.
Rather than distracting Caroline from Heartfelt Homes, her husband’s illness spurred
her on to grow and develop this much-needed charity. However, like every not-for-
profit organisation, Heartfelt Homes is totally reliant on the generosity of donors. It
depends on kind-hearted people making financial donations, and hotels, motels and
B&Bs donating rooms or offering rooms at a charitable rate.
“If we can provide a destitute family a room for a few nights, this can relieve some bur-
den and help them heal faster and cope better,” Caroline concludes.
To find out more, visit www.heartfelthomes.org.au or call Caroline Meehan on 0449
683414 or show your support by making a donation.
Make a
17
Painting can tell a story. It helps develop children to be
effective communicators.
Spend time painting with your child and ask her what
she is painting. Her answers may surprise you!
When your child paints, both
sides of his/her brain are en-
gaged, helping the right and left
brains make connections. When
both sides of the brain work
together it releases potential.
Sometimes, the painting does
not have to represent anything
at all, simply let your child paint
freely.
Painting enhances brain devel-
opment. Research shows that art
stimulates the brain centres that
control emotion, cognition and
memory.
Peg butcher paper to the fence
and let your child finger-paint
or with a paintbrush and leave
the activity there for a few days
for your child to revisit.
Know? Did you
Written
by Simone
Yuen,
children’s
book author,
www.rainbowb
alls.com.au
18
While working with families during and
after the Black Saturday Bushfires, I was
blessed to see the true benefits pets can bring
to a child’s life. So many people, mostly us
grown-ups were telling the kids how they
should be feeling, what they should be doing
to cope and more. The truth was what they
needed was someone to listen, not have an
opinion, not offer advice, just plain old lis-
ten. That task fell to their pets, providing
counsel, a cuddle and an ear, even if they
didn’t understand what was being said, at
least their pets were listening. Those animals
came in all shapes and sizes, feathered and
furred. All kids need someone to talk to at
some time and my best 5 pet recommenda-
tions are as follows.
1. Guinea Pigs are just little
bundles of cuteness and are
great pets for those with
limited space. They can be
housed indoors or outdoors
in a suitable cage and prefer
to be housed in small groups as they are very
social animals. They require a complete diet
in the form of pellets and plenty of fresh
fruit and veg. Children should be seated
when handling Guinea Pigs to avoid drop-
ping them, otherwise they are a fairly robust
pet.
2. Rabbits are a great size,
live for 10-12 years and are
able to be toilet trained.
They can be housed indoors
and outside in a suitable
cage, although will need to
watch timber furniture and the electrical
wiring if allowed access to the house. Bun-
nies should be housed inside in the warmer
months as they are prone to heat stress and
diseases spread by mosquitos. Rabbits
should be vaccinated and desexed. Female
bunnies can get especially territorial if not
desexed. A balanced diet of rabbit pellets,
fresh fruit and veg, and items for chewing,
like pine cones and branches from fruit trees
to help with dental health. You are not able
to own pet rabbits if you live in Queensland.
3. Chickens make great pets,
coming in all sorts of fancy
colours and breeds. From
Silkys and Bantams in small
yards up to larger Arcana
hens with their cool blue
eggs. If handled from a young age they can
be very affectionate and the added benefit
eggs for the kitchen and bug control in the
garden you are on a winner all round. Chick-
ens will live up to 10-12 years and really do
make great pets, although you might want to
stick to hens unless you have several acres
and understanding neighbours. Most coun-
cils will allow 2 hens without a permit.
4. Cats tend to own us I
think, some love a cuddle
however others can be very
independent. Being a clean
animal and able to be toilet
trained makes them a great
house pet. Cats need vacci-
nating as kittens and then annually and
should be desexed. I prefer to keep my cats
indoors, not only to protect local wildlife but
also to prevent them from contracting dis-
eases like Feline AIDs from stray and feral
cats. Long hair breeds will need regular
grooming, and dental care with a balanced
diet for overall health are important. My
favourite breeds are the Burmese - very dog
like, and the Devon Rex - great personality
and no hair shedding = BONUS
best pets for kids The
19
5. “Dogs are Man’s best
friend” and there is nothing
like sitting in the backyard
having a cuddle and telling
your dog all you problems
like I used to do with my
Labrador Kim as a child. She suffered
through many fancy dress outfits, nail paint-
ing sessions and swimming lessons in the
pool. She went everywhere with us, even
fishing in a little dingy out on the bay. Be-
fore buying a dog though consideration
needs to be given to a breed that suits that
age and activity level of the child and time
availability of the family. Consider the size
of the dog, the temperament of the breed, the
exercise needed, grooming requirements, the
space you have available and whether the
dog is inside, outside or both. Vaccinations
as a puppy, then annually, regular worming,
flea control, heartworm prevention and a
good diet are essential. Training from the
puppy stage with a registered and accredited
trainer is a must, after all if you put in the
hard yards as a puppy you are going to have
a great dog for life.
Dr Karen Davies is a veterinarian and
owner of Direct Vet Services. Along with her
fiancé Brett and her children Daniel and
Nathan, she lives with a tribe of Bulldogs,
and her Devon Rex cat Piper. You can con-
tact Dr Karen at DirectVetSer-
vices@bigpond.com or visit the web site
www.directvetservices.com.au
Below photograph supplied by Kate DiBlasi
Wilson and Frenchy
LABEL LOVE:
Melbourne-based Wilson & Frenchy is the kind of label that leaves you feeling warm
and fuzzy inside.
I first stumbled across this beautiful baby brand in 2012 and was instantly impressed by the
classic styles and premium quality. It was not at all surprising how quickly Wilson & Frenchy
become a best selling brand.
Being a business owner in children’s fashion, I know how important it is to use only the high-
est quality products. Little did I know just how well-made these tiny pieces were until I started
using them myself! Only a year after discovering this brand, I gave birth to my first little boy
Lucas who suffered from reflux and suddenly found myself washing his entire wardrobe every
single day.
From long sleeve bodysuits to leggings with feet, Wilson & Frenchy quickly became my eve-
ryday go-to as every single piece managed to still look stylish and new wash after wash.
But there’s so much more to love about this brand – the sizes are extra generous, self pro-
claimed as ranging from just-brought-into-this-world (size 0000) to “hey, I’m getting used to
being out here” (size 0) and I’m so sad this will be the last collection Lucas fits into!
Summer 2014/2015 has just launched and includes nautical ele-
phants, whales and geometrics for boys, golden polkadots and pretty
florals for girls, plus a mix of feathers and twilight prints for gender-
neutral styles.
Dominque is our children’s fashion expert. You can learn more
about Dominique or her online store Baby Dino on the About Us
page on our website or www.babydino.com.au
22
You've decided to catch up with a friend.
Do you plan your entire dialogue in ad-
vance - including your friend's script - and
expect both of you to stick to it? Of course
you don't. Not only would the expectation
be impossible, but you'd miss out on the
unexpected news from your friend, or the
funny turns of your conversation.
You've said you're going to spend the
weekend deciding on which dishwasher to
buy. Do you make a strict schedule - a
plan you can't deviate from? No, of course
you don't. You search the web, following
links, making a few calls or visits to stores
if necessary, and you might even go over
your budget a little if you find the right
purchase.
Flexibility is essential to our lives. We all
learn in different ways, and we all need to
be open to new possibilities. We can also
ensure our little ones have flexibility to
learn in their own ways too.
One study found that if a teacher showed a
child a new toy, and the way to play with
it (perhaps pressing a button to play a
tune) the child was more likely to play
with the toy that way and that way only,
rather than exploring all the other options
as the other children did. Keeping things
open-ended increased the children's flexi-
bility.
One of the easiest ways to do this is to
think about planning time, not planning
content.
We try to draw every day with our two
(aged 3 and nearly 2), and I might put up
something to provoke ideas, such as a
household object or something found on
our walks like a flower. But they can draw
what they like, and frequently surprise me
when they do.
We rarely do structured, step-by-step
crafts. Instead, recyclables and art materi-
als are made available for them to create
with.
It doesn't matter if it doesn't look like a
unicycle - she's put the time into designing
and building it, which is better than just
copying.
Maths play is open-ended - we'll play dice
games or abacus games, and she gets to
ask the questions in turn with me - and
reading time means the kids' choice of
material. I'll introduce new material regu-
Structuring time -
Not content
larly, but I don't expect the kids to say yes
to everything I offer - allowing the choice
means they're less suspicious of new things
next time, because they have the right to
say no.
When we play, rather than demonstrating
exactly what a toy does, we will let them
explore. And if Miss 3 decides that her
coloured pencils are a doll family, then
that's what they are.
Providing choice not only increases the
ability to problem-solve, but it also means
that what is chosen will be interesting to
the child, and therefore more motivating
and also more likely to be remembered.
Flexibility is even more important if your
child is anxious or has an autism spectrum
disorder. Making sure you don't say the
same thing in exactly the same way each
time (Dinner time! It's time for tea! Sit up
for your meal please!) means a little extra
work in understanding but a lot more learn-
ing. Ensuring that things change about -
sitting in different spots on the couch, tak-
ing different routes to school or shops, us-
ing a range of cutlery and plates - are all
important as they mean a bit more problem
solving (if I can't sit here, where can I sit?)
and a bit more learning.
Our adult lives are full of flexibility - flexi-
ble workers are sought-after and flexible
jobs are prized - so we need to start looking
at how we can build the same flexibility
into our kids' lives, too.
Caroline is a regular columnist with Small
Steps. Her monthly article shares insight
and knowledge for parents of special needs
children. She has two children of her own.
Handmade
and quality
children’s
products
www.angelbabes.com.au www.facebook.com/myangelbabes
My 2014
This month was about the little things.
Small, seemingly insignificant things we
can do to cut back on our spending and add
a little more to our savings.
I sat down and went through our spending
habits looking at spending that may have
been overlooked or areas where I can mini-
mise the spend.
Grocery shopping lately has been some-
thing I have been not as good on which is
pretty bad considering I had a great budget
down earlier in the year and was spending
approx $150 a week on my groceries. Un-
fortunately bad habits have meant that I
have slipped back into doing a small shop
several days a week and not a large shop
once a week like planned - I am going to
rediscipline myself with that this week on-
ward!
Other places that we spend money include
the obvious like electricity, water and pet-
rol so I came up with a list of ways to re-
duce these bills. Here are my tips for reduc-
ing your bills in these areas:
Turn off the TV. TV’s (especially the
large HD and plasma screens) can use
up quite a lot of power. Declaring a TV
free day or evening is a good way to not
only reduce your energy bill but also
allow you some extra time to bond with
the family through games night or a fun
outing like hiking or playing at the
park.
Switch off lights in rooms that are not
being used. I know this sounds like a
pretty obvious one but many rooms like
living rooms, kitchens and dining
rooms often have the lights left on dur-
ing the evening hours because they
seem to be the rooms most used. Try
turning these off and making it a habit.
Try to cook up your meals all at the one
time. I know on busy nights I am guilty
of switching the oven on at least twice -
for the children’s dinner and then our
meal. Planning ahead and using the
oven at the same time for both meals
will save electricity costs. Or even bet-
ter cook up a large batch so you don’t
have to cook on another night and just
reheat instead.
Buy energy monitors for your biggest
appliances. These are accessories that
you plug into your electrical items such
as TV’s to monitor how much energy
they are consuming. This can help you
to reduce the amount you are using by
either using it less or getting a replace-
Money Challenge
25
McGraths Hill Children’s Centre Inc
69 Andrew Thompson Dr, McGraths Hill Ph: 4587 7141 or email: mhcc@westnet.com.au
Open 6.30am-6.30pm
From birth to 6 years
Nutritious meals daily
Community based - Not for profit centre
Preschool transition programs
ment that costs less to use.
To save water try showering the kids a
couple of nights a week rather than bath-
ing. Baths use a lot more water than is
necessary and showers can be just as
much fun.
If you are using water for things like
paddle pools in the warmer weather,
make sure you cover them at the end of
playtime to avoid getting leaves or bugs
in the water. This means that next time
you want to play you don’t have to use
fresh water to fill it up again. Then just
refresh it when necessary.
To save petrol plan your grocery trips
for when you are out for other reasons
such as dropping the kids at school, on
your way home from work or during
kids sporting activities.
Try to fill up your car with petrol on
days that are cheapest. My husband
watches this carefully and we are usu-
ally able to save over 10cents a litre
each time we fill up.
Car pool where you can. Share the drive
to and from work or take turns dropping
your neighbours kids at school. If you
do one week and they do the alternate
you will halve your petrol bill for school
drop-offs!
These are just some of the ways that I no-
ticed our savings increase. Being organised
means you are better able to save money. I
notice that when I am time-poor I tend to
spend more for convenience so my goal is
to become more organised with my meal
planning, my outings in the car, my activi-
ties for the kids and more.
Next month I will share with you how I
planned a four year old birthday party for
my daughter including a cake, activities,
prizes and more for under $100! Who says
you need to spend a lot of money to have
fun.
If these articles interest you, you may also
like our blog post on 30 free activities for
kids. This a great post for those days you
need something to do and best thing is that
they are all free! Check out this post and
more on our website
www.smallstepsparenting.com
25
26
Growing up isn’t easy. When you ask
parents what they want most for their kids
they invariably say “I just want them to be
happy”. Naturally we all have our own
take on how to get happy but the wish is
universal.
Sadly, it’s getting harder and harder to
strike all the right balances that will give us
carefree kids. Is there anything more frus-
trating and upsetting than watching your
child lose the happy, playfulness they had
when they were younger. Fear changes
people (especially little people) and we
need to understand what causes it and how
best to help them.
The Anxiety Recovery Centre of Victoria
(Australia) puts the prevalence of anxiety
in children at between 5.7 - 15.4% in 7 to
11 year olds and 8.7 - 17.7% for 12 to 18
years. That being said, in my own practice
the number of little boys presenting with
debilitating fears about life and the world
around them is growing every day and I
believe it warrants a special look.
Developmentally, kids are able to get seri-
ously worried about what might happen in
the future from about eight years of age. It
can be hard as adults to imagine what they
could possibly have to worry about. The
truth is, kids today have worries we just
don’t get. When it comes to young boys, if
those fears are not identified, aired and
dealt with by the time High School collides
with puberty, there can be real trouble in
adolescence.
Another thing that often comes as a shock
to parents is that despite the fact that we all
try as hard as we can to shelter our kids
from our own troubles and strife, we gener-
ally kid ourselves about that and then they
spend a good chunk of their childhood wor-
rying about us. It wasn’t until my own
children were adults that I realised how
true this was.
And then there’s
school…
Anxiety surrounding school can result in
lots of unwanted behaviour including des-
perate attempts to avoid school. That often
results in lots of unexplained sickness.
There’s no question dealing with this kind
of stuff can be frustrating and even dis-
tressing but don’t be tempted to believe
you’re seeing dishonest, attention seeking
behaviour.
Anxiety in Boys
27
More often than not, young kids just don’t
know how to process intense emotions. It
makes no sense to them but physical illness
does. Think about it, there’s a cut-and-dried
procedure for a tummy ache or a sprained
ankle. Go to the sick bay, receive some
understanding and wait for someone to
come and take you home. Wait happens
when the pain is invisible? Make sure
there’s a procedure for over whelming emo-
tions at school too.
Another not-so-fun-fact about school anxi-
ety is that while it can certainly be about
fear or worry about something at or on the
way to school, it’s usually about the fear
that something bad will happen at home and
to loved ones while they’re away at school
and can’t protect anyone. Imagine what a
huge responsibility that feels like?
Then there’s the very real worry of becom-
ing a tiny little fish in a high school shark
pool after being a big, confident fish in a
little primary school pond. Ouch!
What to look for…
Little boys will usually reveal their anxiety
in three of ways. Sometimes, if you’re
lucky, they’ll just tell you they’re scared
and what of. Then there are the times when
a young man will decide for himself that his
fears make him inferior and he may become
withdrawn and quiet. Lastly there are the
projectors. These are the boys that are not
willing to accept feelings of vulnerability so
they’ll compensate with displays of power
with people they trust (sorry, Mum, but
that’s usually you!). They’ll be angry, loud
and bossy in a bid to claw back a feeling of
strength and control. This method of cop-
ing is tricky because the underlying emo-
tional fragility understandably often gets
missed.
Most importantly, look for change in your
boy’s behaviour, mood and attitude. If he
just doesn’t seem ‘himself’, he’s probably
not.
What to do…
My top ten list of things to take seriously
when helping your little boy through a
fearful time:
Quality of sleep. This is ESSENTIAL
for any mood issues.
Diet. Make sure meals aren’t skipped
and are made up of wholesome, healthy
foods.
Talking things out. Let them share their
feelings without judgement or interrup-
tion.
Share your own fears and ways of cop-
ing. Be human but don’t over expose.
Limit screen time. It’s not ok to let
them control their own technology expo-
sure.
Exercise. Get those muscles moving
and bodies tired.
Make busy, creative minds. Empty
brain space will fill up with worries.
Talk about the good side of anxiety and
how it can keep you safe in the right
setting.
Learn what they like. Spend time doing
things one-on-one together.
If the worries and behaviours continue,
seek out professional help
These periods need only be temporary if
they’re grabbed early and dealt with sensi-
tively but seriously. Let them know how
normal it all is but we must never tell them
we know how they feel. We don’t. Open
communication and good quality rest and
counselling will go a long way to seeing
you all through.
Written by Angela Bradley, B.A., Grad. Dip.
Psych., AMAPS, Registered Psychologist.
For more information or advice, contact
Angela via www.angelabradleyonline.com
Kids Fun!
28
Find the matching pairs. Draw a line between the animals that are the same.
29
RRP $5.99 Available on Amazon Kindle www.amazon.com Reviewed by Julie-Anne England The first book in a planned series of PJ Millar Caterpillar is a complete delight to read. Simple rhymes and an interesting story meant even my 18 month old was able to enjoy and be held captive throughout the story. The pictures are bright and simple. In this book you will be introduced to the cute little caterpillar PJ. It tells of his little adventure out into the world and what he encounters. From a cute ladybug to the whooshing wind you will meet some delightful characters and fll in love with PJ Millar Caterpillar. Read this to your children several times until they become familiar with the story. Allow them to point to the illustrations and share their thoughts on PJ’s adventure. Here are a few activities you can do during the week:
Go for a nature walk and see if you can find any caterpillars. Talk to your
children about other things you might find on your walk such as ants, bee-
tles and maybe even a spider!
Make your own cater-
pillar by glueing pom-
poms in a line on a
piece of paper. Add
googly eyes for a face.
Climb into sleeping
bags and pretend to be
caterpillars by wriggling
along the ground.
I hope you and your family
enjoy this book as much
as we do, it’s definitely a
favourite!
PJ Millar Caterpillar
By Jamison Sky and Martine Tunaley
A Book Review
Do you run your own business or
want to start one?
Don’t miss this Small Steps special issue
Out on the 13th October 2014!
Grab your copy next month..
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not represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any of the information, content, or advertisements contained on,
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book page, nor the quality of any products, information or other materials displayed, purchased, or obtained by you as
a result of an advertisement or any other information.
In no event shall Small Steps be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, or consequential damages of any
kind whatsoever with respect to the service, the materials, and the products. You are encouraged to exercise discretion
while browsing the Internet. No part of this publication or the corresponding website is to be copied or reproduced
without permission. Image on page 17 supplied by freedigitalphotos.net
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