OCTOBER 2014

Secrets kids

Shouldn’t keep

Top 5 best

pets for kids

Your Free online Parenting magazine

Meet our

cover star

cutie!

Tips from a mum

to her daughter

October 2014

Special Features

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18 27

Tips on dating - from a mum to her daughter 5 best pets for kids PJ Millar Caterpillar book review

Articles

Meet our cover star model! The truth about travelling with kids

7 18

Regulars

Letter from the Editor Ask a professional - ques-tions from readers Monthly Recipe - Vegetar-ian Chilli Your Story - My struggle with percreta Make a Change Mums and the City - with Alexis Galloway Fashion with Dominique Something Extra - by Caro-lyn Galbraith Did you know? Kid’s fun

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16 17

20 23

26 28

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Contents

8 24 26

Secrets kids shouldn’t keep My 2014 money challenge Anxiety in boys

Letter from the Editor

Julie-Anne England

Dear Reader,

Well it’s been a long wait but finally you get to see our cover star winner. It is not

hard to see why this little cutie stole the hearts of so many of our readers. You can

learn more about him on page 7.

This month has been a busy month here at Small Steps with not one, but two maga-

zine issues coming out this month. This regular issue plus our special issue Mums

in Business which comes out on the 13th of October. This issue will be packed

with information on starting and running your own home business, tips on growth,

advertising and social media plus real case studies with some local mums in busi-

ness. This is an issue not to be missed for business owners or people wanting to

start their own business so please share with friends and family.

This month we introduce to you a brand new fashion kids section written by mum

and business owner Dominique Perri. Dominique will be joining us each month to

share some of her favourite kids brands.

Lastly, we have been receiving many requests for our magazine to come back into

print. So as not to mess up our green initiative we have decided to look at printing

for those who want to purchase our print copy each month. This way we will avoid

wastage and just print for those who prefer to have the print copy. Interest needs to

be calculated before we decide to go ahead so please comment on our social media,

or website to let us know your thoughts - print or online?

Kindly,

Meet our cover star model!

Were you surprised when you found out

that your little boy had been voted as our

cover star model? Yes I was, there were

so many beautiful kids, and his Dad was

very excited to break the news to me.

What is Xavier like as a child?

(personality etc.) He is very matter of fact

and detail oriented, he wants to know

why. He is very loving. He shows amaz-

ing resilience and understanding for his

age dealing with his Dad’s deployments.

Does Xavier have any siblings? No, Well

yes if you include his “big brother” Bugsy

our Great Dane, they are inseparable.

An interesting story/fact about him – He

loves spicy food, we recently went to Sin-

gapore and he ate everything, and always

asked for satay where ever we went,

What you love most about him? I love

that he makes me laugh every single day,

and that he always is excited about life.

6

Xavier

Miller

After an overwhelming response to our cover star competition and photos of the cut-

est kids around, we were able to choose finalists and our readers sent in their votes for

their favourites. Today we announce the winner of the 2014 Small Steps Parenting

Magazine’s cover star winner - Xavier Miller. It is not hard to see why this gorgeous

little man was selected. As our winner he receives a framed copy of this month’s

magazine and a photoshoot by our talented Kate Roberts from Big Fish Photography.

Here we speak with Xavier’s mum Rachael.

Xavier’s entry

photo into our

2014 cover star

competition

Xavier’s

favourites Food - pasta

Game - Hungry

Caterpillar app

on iPad

Time of the day -

mornings after

breakfast

Animal - his pet

dog Bugsy

Person - Daddy

Toy - George

from Peppa

Pig

Secrets Kids shouldn’t keep As a child how many

times were you asked

to “keep a secret”?

Keeping a secret can be

harmless. For example,

when you are hiding a

birthday present from

someone, or if you are

simply wanting to

“surprise” a loved one.

These are fun secrets,

with the intent of mak-

ing the recipient happy.

Including children in

these secrets is exciting

and wonderful, and in

fact, they can be a

handy tool in helping to teach children

about managing impulsivity and delayed

gratification. The key however, is in the

language we use. There is a very big differ-

ence between the words “secret” and

“surprise”.

So what about secrets children shouldn’t

keep? These are typically secrets that cause

a child distress and/or anxiety. As a guide,

examples of these kinds of secrets are:

If an adult in their life is making them

feel "icky".

Many children, especially younger chil-

dren, do not yet have the self-awareness

and understanding to be able to accurately

label how something makes them feel. As

such, it is important to use their language,

and so describing something as feeling

“icky” or “yuck” is often better than using

words such as “anxious” or “upset”. Children should be encouraged to disclose

any secret that makes them feel uncomfort-

able. As an adult, we can do this by provid-

ing reassurance that they won’t be in trou-

ble for “telling” and teaching them about

healthy boundaries.

If they know someone who is being bul-

lied.

This can be really tough, as children will

almost always feel a loyalty towards a

friend, even if they are doing the wrong

thing. Sticking up for someone who is be-

ing bullied also carries the associated so-

cial stigma of being labeled a “dobber” or

“traitor”. All children need to learn that

they have the right to feel safe. No matter

what. This means ensuring that they do not

suffer negative consequences for naming

unacceptable and hurtful behavior.

If someone they love is being hurt/harmed

We all feel scared some times. And fear

can be paralyzing, especially if that fear is

about a loved one being hurt, or of some-

one hurting us. For a child, carrying the

burden of knowing a loved one is being

harmed – is psychologically and emotion-

8

9

ally damaging. Children are “egocentric”

meaning that they see the world according

to themselves. Consequently, they internal-

ize blame. They feel as though it’s their

fault, even if it isn’t. Asking a child to “not

tell” is basically saying; “if you tell, it will

be all your fault”.

If they feel sick/unwell

Most children don’t like upsetting adults if

they can avoid it. Remember they internal-

ize blame, and so this means that an adult’s

upsetting reaction can be interpreted as

“it’s my fault”. This can also be the case if

they worry that telling an adult they are

unwell or sick will result in a negative re-

action. As adults, we simply need to be

mindful of how we react to our children, so

that they feel supported and nurtured, espe-

cially when they are unwell.

If they are worried about something

It may sound simplistic, but the rule of

thumb is this: If a child is worrying or over

-thinking ANYTHING, they should always

be encouraged to talk to an adult. Ensuring

that your child has trusted adults in their

life is really important, as there will often

be times that they don’t feel comfortable

talking to a parent. This is particularly the

case when children develop into teenagers.

For these older children, not disclosing

something to a parent is not necessarily an

indicator that there is something wrong.

Rather it may just mean that they feel un-

comfortable talking to mum and/or dad.

This is where a trusted aunt/uncle/

grandparent/coach or teacher comes in

very handy!

Children’s brains develop rapidly, however

it is not until our mid 20’s that our brains

are fully developed. This means that chil-

dren do not have the cognitive capacity to

be able to make abstract, and well thought

out decisions. They see the world in black

and white, and are not able to accurately

weigh up the pros and cons of an issue or

problem. They are impulsive, and emotion-

ally reactive – and young children see

themselves as the center of the universe,

which means that they often feel responsi-

ble for the reactions of others, especially if

that person is a trusted adult.

For these reasons having a “no secret” rule

for very young children is the safest bet, as

well as keeping all communication lines

open. This means holding back our “adult”

interpretations and judgements and instead,

viewing the world through our child’s in-

nocent eyes. It also means being mindful of

how we react to our children, and accepting

and acknowledging when we get it wrong

and make mistakes.

As children grow and develop, the chal-

lenge for adults and parents is to accept the

fact that their “child” doesn’t tell them eve-

rything anymore. Rather than interpreting

this as a negative thing, it’s important to

support and nurture your growing child’s

independence while always ensuring that

you are emotionally available should they

need you.

However, if you sense that your child is

keeping a secret that’s bothering them –

encourage them to talk to a trusted adult

about it, even if that adult isn’t you.

This is the “tight rope balancing act” of

parenting. We all fall off from time to time,

but it’s important to get straight back on

and keep trying!

Written by Leanne Hall, clinical psycholo-

gist and Mind & Body Expert on Network

10's The Living Room and Studio 10. Plus,

mum of two. Learn more about Leanne on

her website www.leannehall.com.au

Ask a Professional...

QUESTION: I am 31 weeks pregnant and my baby is in breech position. Will it still be able

to turn before birth?

Combos Slides Obstacle Castles Slushie Machines

Phone: (02) 4571 1240 or 0402 100 681

Email: tomcatjim1@bigpond.com

Birthdays/Corporate Events/Preschools/Fetes/Christmas/New Years

The short answer to this question is yes, it is certainly possible for your baby to turn to

the head down or cephalic position before birth particularly at this stage in your preg-

nancy. At 31 weeks gestation babies generally still have room to move fairly freely in

the uterus. As your pregnancy progresses and baby becomes larger in size it is perhaps

less likely that he/she will turn however, as a midwife, I have seen babies change posi-

tion from breech to cephalic right up until term (40 weeks) Occasionally there may be a

reason why a baby adopts the breech position, for example the shape of a woman’s pel-

vis or a placenta (afterbirth) which is not normally situated, for example one that em-

beds in the lower part of the uterus. Your health care provider will monitor your baby’s

position with ultrasounds particularly as you get closer to birth. It is wise to discuss any

concerns that you may have regarding yourself or your baby with your doctor or mid-

wife as every woman is an individual and not all pregnancies are the same.

This answer has been supplied by Ruth Bosanquet who is our expert panel midwife.

Learn more about Ruth on our "About Us" page on our website.

11

Monthly Recipe

FRUIT

BITES

INGREDIENTS

200g Dried Fruit (see suggestions be-

low)

50g Desiccated Coconut

3-4 Teaspoons Honey (to taste)

Fruit Suggestions (choose 1 or mix

them):

Apricots

Mango

Apple

Pineapple (no need to add

honey)

Paw Paw (no need to add

honey)

METHOD 1. Place ingredients (start with the light coloured fruits) into the food processor or thermo-

mix and blend on the highest speed for 45 seconds. Scrape down the sides and repeat. If

using a food processor you may have to repeat again, in a thermomix 2 times is enough.

It is ready when it starts to form a ball as the blade is turning. It will be nice and moist

but not to wet, if its wet add a little dried coconut.

2. Roll the mixture into small balls then roll in extra coconut.

3. Store in the fridge for up to 2 weeks or freeze them and take them out the morning you

want to use them.

This recipe comes from Trendy lil treats. Check them out on their

website www.trendyliltreats.com.au

12

Tips on dating

From a mother to her daughter

It’s hard to imagine a time when you will be

old enough to drive, finish school, make

your own plans, start dating. Right now you

lay in my arms fast asleep, the beautiful new

born that I delivered only hours ago.

But as I watch you breathe I find myself

picturing the future, making plans for you,

seeing you in my minds eye running and

splashing at the beach, being thrown in the

air by your dad, asking for help on your

homework and bringing home your very first

boyfriend.

As a mother I feel like my job is to protect

you, I never want you experience pain or

hurt or have your heart broken but I know

that this is outside what I can possibly do.

All I can do is prepare for your life ahead

and pray that you choose to make the right

decisions.

One day you will be old enough to start

looking for a man, one who you could begin

a life with, one who will make you a mother.

Before you embark on this exciting journey

please me share some things that I have

learnt.

#1 For any first date make sure you meet

somewhere nice and public. Being picked up

from your home is never a good idea with a

brand new relationship as he will now know

where you live. Best to leave this until you

know him better. Also being in a public

place will protect you if you decide you are

not happy with your date choice.

#2 Have a plan B in case your date doesn’t

13

go to plan. Get one of your friends to call

you sometime during your date. This will

give you a nice out if you need it. If you are

enjoying the date, just tell your friends you

are on a date and you will call them back

later, but if you would rather end the date

use this phone call to have you needing to be

somewhere else.

#3 Always tell someone where you are go-

ing. I know most guys seem nice and many

are but there are some with bad intentions.

Protect yourself by letting someone know

where you are and let him know that others

know too.

#4 Don’t do anything you are uncomfortable

with. If he is a decent guy he will not expect

you to do something you don’t want to.

#5 Set boundaries for yourself and stick to

them,

#6 Never be afraid to say no.

#7 When dating, look for the qualities that

will complement you and your dreams. You

need to be with someone who will believe in

you, love you, trust you, protect you, chal-

lenge you and cherish you.

#8 Don’t ever settle. The perfect one for you

will come along when the time is right.

Don’t ever settle in fear that you will miss

out.

#9 Marriage is a big and lasting decision.

Doubts are a warning signal that all may not

be right.

#10 When things seem to be getting serious

make sure you discuss big issues together

such as children, living arrangements, paren-

tal boundaries and home responsibilities.

Tackling these questions early can help you

discover deal breakers or red flags in your

relationship.

#11 Discuss your dreams and desires with

each other. You don’t want to find out years

down the track that you are on two totally

different paths.

#12 Watch him in a variety of situations -

see how he copes when he is angry, frus-

trated, tired, stressed, sad and so on. You can

learn a lot about him from these situations.

#13 Watch how he interacts with his mother

and sisters (if he has any). This will show

you the respect he has for women. If he

treats his mother badly don’t assume it is

because of her, this may well be how he

treats you in the future.

#14 Don’t give your all, very early into a

relationship. You need to show him that you

are precious. If everyone gets every part of

you it won’t be special for the one you are

meant to spend your life with.

#15 Allow yourself to hear the opinions of

others about your new date but don’t make

decisions based entirely on them. Some peo-

ple have good intentions and want to protect

you others may be just jealous.

#16 Go with your heart, if it is right you will

feel peaceful about your decision. You and

only you are the one who has to live with

your choices.

#17 Don’t ever, ever forgot that I am your

mother. I love you and want nothing but the

best for you so you can come to me anytime,

with anything. There is no mess that I won’t

try to help you with.

Written by Julie-Anne England.

14

Your Story

Christina’s Story - My struggle with Percreta

On the 23rd of Nov, 2012 it all started. I

was pregnant with our 7th baby, and very

happy to be. I was feeling good and ex-

cited to be expecting again. This morning

I got up with my then one and half year

old, and started on getting him some

breakfast when I felt a gush. It was unex-

pected, I didn’t need to pee, but I though

maybe I had a weak bladder moment. So I

went to the toilet to check. When I got

there I discovered it was not wee, but was

actually blood.

My heart sank. My first thought was “I’m

losing my baby”. I cleaned up the mess

the best I could, and as I stood up, I felt

something else. A lemon size clot came

out. It looked like it was containing my

baby. I couldn’t put this is in toilet, so

my dear husband kindly went and buried

it.

We then went on to the hospital. I have a

negative blood group so knew I needed to

go get an Anti-D injection. While there

the Doctors did a few tests, which when

they came back surprised them. My HCG

levels were quite high for a single preg-

nancy, let alone someone that was having

a miscarriage. After several scans, it was

discovered that I was still pregnant, but

had lost a twin. We were both happy and

sad at the same time. I had a SCH (Sub

Chronic Hemorrhage) and what looked

like a low-lying placenta.

This was the beginning to what was a

very stressful pregnancy.

Over the next 13 weeks I had over 10

bleeds, each time I needed to make an-

other trip to our local hospital, for a scan

to check we still had a live baby. Finally

at my 20 week scan it was discovered that

I have Complete Placenta Previa, where

the placenta sits at the bottom of the

uterus, covering the cervix, making a

vaginal birth very dangerous for both

mother and baby.

I was thankful when I got to 24 weeks

and my baby at least had a chance of life.

I was then grateful when I got to 32

weeks, which meant I could stay in my

area to deliver and be near my family,

should she come early.

As the pregnancy progressed I spoke with

doctors about the chance of me having

Accreta, there was a slight chance and the

placenta was near my old c-section scars

but they didn’t think I had it.

Then on the 18th of June I was sitting at

home with my then 6 children, and I felt

another gush. My heart sank. I knew I

was bleeding. I went to the toilet to check

and blood was pouring out. My children

helped me call an ambulance, my hus-

band and someone to come and stay with

them.

I was rushed directly into the OR, where

Marcella was deliver immediately. They

then turned their attention to saving my

life. It turned out that I not only had Com-

plete Placenta Previa, but also Percreta

(the worst form of Accreta) and my pla-

centa had grown through my cervix and

uterus, attached to my urethra, bladder

and major blood vessels in the area. Ac-

creta is a life threatening obstetric condi-

tion, that can be fault to both mother and

baby. The condition has three stages, ac-

creta, increta and percreta, being the

worst. Accreta is where the placenta ab-

normally adheres and invades the uterine

wall. In the case of percreta, the placenta

invades completely through the uterus

and then beginning attaching to other

blood vessels and organs in the area, most

commonly the bladder, bowels, and arter-

ies. Due to the involvement of blood ves-

sels and organs, the threat of bleeding out

during delivery is a very real concern, and

the number 1 reason for maternal death in

Accreta cases. The cases of Accreta in

pregnancy are on the rise due to the in-

crease rate of c-sections, D & C’s, abor-

tions, placenta previa, pregnancy in

women over 35, uterine surgery, endome-

triosis, and other invasive contraceptive

methods.

It took a team of doctors and specialists, 5

days on life support, 23 hours of surgery,

a full hysterectomy, bladder and urethra

repair, and a massive blood transfusion of

54 units of blood and 80 blood products,

(a total of around 134 donations) to save

my life, using all the available O- in my

State.

This was a trying time for everyone in-

volved; the doctors explained that I was

very lucky to be here.

As fast as they were

putting the blood in, I

was losing it. Due to

all the blood, it was

hard for them to find

where the placenta

ended and I began, and

the only tools they had

to help guide them

were their hands. They

did the best they could.

Under the belief that I

probably wasn’t going

to make it, the NICU

nurse’s brought my

baby down and put her on my chest, so

that we could have some time together

before I died, and my family and baby

would have some memento to remember

me by. The moment that they put her on

my chest I responded, I rubbed my chin

on the top of her head, and that is when I

started to improve.

I am very glad to be here today to be able

to tell my story, and enjoy the life I have

with my children. Since coming home

from hospital and starting to move on

with my life I have become the President

of the Australian Chapter of the Hope for

Accreta Foundation. Through which I am

helping many women and their families

that are going through a similar experi-

ence. I am also working the Red Cross,

to help bring attention to the need for

blood donation, with out the donations of

so many people I would not be here to-

day.

If you have or are experiencing Accreta,

please contact me via email:

cmathewson.hfa.aus.nz@gmail.com and I

will help connect you with someone local

to you. www.hopeforaccreta.org

15

Change Change

16

When Caroline Meehan started a not-for-profit organisation called Heartfelt Homes just

over a year ago she could have had no idea what was coming. Heartfelt Homes is a

charity that finds hotel, motel and B&B rooms for people in desperate need such as

those who find themselves being treated at hospital as an outpatient or those who have a

loved one in hospital.

Within months of starting this charity Caroline’s husband Andy was ironically and dev-

astatingly diagnosed with cancer. With two small children to care for Caroline was sud-

denly thrown into a new role of caregiver and breadwinner. As a family who lives in

rural NSW she also discovered just how essential Heartfelt Homes is.

After being diagnosed a week before Christmas the family had a rough path ahead of

them as they sought to deal with childcare, long drives back and forth from the hospital

and countless specialists. A surgery date meant they needed accommodation but with a

surgery reschedule the cost of accommodation was forfeited and a new date was set.

Andy’s diagnosis had a massive financial impact on the family. A builder and carpenter,

Andy was the main income earner. This stopped on the day he received his diagnosis.

“We had all our usual bills to pay – mortgage, utilities, petrol, food, etc – and nothing

coming in, as I wasn’t receiving a wage at Heartfelt Homes,” explains Caroline. “This

gave me such an understanding of what it is like to be in this position. All the research I

had done over the past year to try to understand what people endured and how they

managed could not have prepared me for this”

“Along with the intense worry you constantly live with, you also have to figure out

where the next mortgage payment is coming from and how you will afford the petrol for

the continuing hospital trips – not to mention the cost of parking and childcare. I truly

didn’t know how we could pay for it. I had to hair-dress to bring in the odd bit of cash

here and there; this was a relief but also added to my exhaustion.”

Fortunately, Andy’s surgery went well, as did his radiation therapy in March. Andy still

has to visit the hospital every month, which means a six-hour round trip every few

weeks, as well as petrol costs, parking costs and childcare costs.

Rather than distracting Caroline from Heartfelt Homes, her husband’s illness spurred

her on to grow and develop this much-needed charity. However, like every not-for-

profit organisation, Heartfelt Homes is totally reliant on the generosity of donors. It

depends on kind-hearted people making financial donations, and hotels, motels and

B&Bs donating rooms or offering rooms at a charitable rate.

“If we can provide a destitute family a room for a few nights, this can relieve some bur-

den and help them heal faster and cope better,” Caroline concludes.

To find out more, visit www.heartfelthomes.org.au or call Caroline Meehan on 0449

683414 or show your support by making a donation.

Make a

17

Painting can tell a story. It helps develop children to be

effective communicators.

Spend time painting with your child and ask her what

she is painting. Her answers may surprise you!

When your child paints, both

sides of his/her brain are en-

gaged, helping the right and left

brains make connections. When

both sides of the brain work

together it releases potential.

Sometimes, the painting does

not have to represent anything

at all, simply let your child paint

freely.

Painting enhances brain devel-

opment. Research shows that art

stimulates the brain centres that

control emotion, cognition and

memory.

Peg butcher paper to the fence

and let your child finger-paint

or with a paintbrush and leave

the activity there for a few days

for your child to revisit.

Know? Did you

Written

by Simone

Yuen,

children’s

book author,

www.rainbowb

alls.com.au

18

While working with families during and

after the Black Saturday Bushfires, I was

blessed to see the true benefits pets can bring

to a child’s life. So many people, mostly us

grown-ups were telling the kids how they

should be feeling, what they should be doing

to cope and more. The truth was what they

needed was someone to listen, not have an

opinion, not offer advice, just plain old lis-

ten. That task fell to their pets, providing

counsel, a cuddle and an ear, even if they

didn’t understand what was being said, at

least their pets were listening. Those animals

came in all shapes and sizes, feathered and

furred. All kids need someone to talk to at

some time and my best 5 pet recommenda-

tions are as follows.

1. Guinea Pigs are just little

bundles of cuteness and are

great pets for those with

limited space. They can be

housed indoors or outdoors

in a suitable cage and prefer

to be housed in small groups as they are very

social animals. They require a complete diet

in the form of pellets and plenty of fresh

fruit and veg. Children should be seated

when handling Guinea Pigs to avoid drop-

ping them, otherwise they are a fairly robust

pet.

2. Rabbits are a great size,

live for 10-12 years and are

able to be toilet trained.

They can be housed indoors

and outside in a suitable

cage, although will need to

watch timber furniture and the electrical

wiring if allowed access to the house. Bun-

nies should be housed inside in the warmer

months as they are prone to heat stress and

diseases spread by mosquitos. Rabbits

should be vaccinated and desexed. Female

bunnies can get especially territorial if not

desexed. A balanced diet of rabbit pellets,

fresh fruit and veg, and items for chewing,

like pine cones and branches from fruit trees

to help with dental health. You are not able

to own pet rabbits if you live in Queensland.

3. Chickens make great pets,

coming in all sorts of fancy

colours and breeds. From

Silkys and Bantams in small

yards up to larger Arcana

hens with their cool blue

eggs. If handled from a young age they can

be very affectionate and the added benefit

eggs for the kitchen and bug control in the

garden you are on a winner all round. Chick-

ens will live up to 10-12 years and really do

make great pets, although you might want to

stick to hens unless you have several acres

and understanding neighbours. Most coun-

cils will allow 2 hens without a permit.

4. Cats tend to own us I

think, some love a cuddle

however others can be very

independent. Being a clean

animal and able to be toilet

trained makes them a great

house pet. Cats need vacci-

nating as kittens and then annually and

should be desexed. I prefer to keep my cats

indoors, not only to protect local wildlife but

also to prevent them from contracting dis-

eases like Feline AIDs from stray and feral

cats. Long hair breeds will need regular

grooming, and dental care with a balanced

diet for overall health are important. My

favourite breeds are the Burmese - very dog

like, and the Devon Rex - great personality

and no hair shedding = BONUS

best pets for kids The

19

5. “Dogs are Man’s best

friend” and there is nothing

like sitting in the backyard

having a cuddle and telling

your dog all you problems

like I used to do with my

Labrador Kim as a child. She suffered

through many fancy dress outfits, nail paint-

ing sessions and swimming lessons in the

pool. She went everywhere with us, even

fishing in a little dingy out on the bay. Be-

fore buying a dog though consideration

needs to be given to a breed that suits that

age and activity level of the child and time

availability of the family. Consider the size

of the dog, the temperament of the breed, the

exercise needed, grooming requirements, the

space you have available and whether the

dog is inside, outside or both. Vaccinations

as a puppy, then annually, regular worming,

flea control, heartworm prevention and a

good diet are essential. Training from the

puppy stage with a registered and accredited

trainer is a must, after all if you put in the

hard yards as a puppy you are going to have

a great dog for life.

Dr Karen Davies is a veterinarian and

owner of Direct Vet Services. Along with her

fiancé Brett and her children Daniel and

Nathan, she lives with a tribe of Bulldogs,

and her Devon Rex cat Piper. You can con-

tact Dr Karen at DirectVetSer-

vices@bigpond.com or visit the web site

www.directvetservices.com.au

Below photograph supplied by Kate DiBlasi

Wilson and Frenchy

LABEL LOVE:

Melbourne-based Wilson & Frenchy is the kind of label that leaves you feeling warm

and fuzzy inside.

I first stumbled across this beautiful baby brand in 2012 and was instantly impressed by the

classic styles and premium quality. It was not at all surprising how quickly Wilson & Frenchy

become a best selling brand.

Being a business owner in children’s fashion, I know how important it is to use only the high-

est quality products. Little did I know just how well-made these tiny pieces were until I started

using them myself! Only a year after discovering this brand, I gave birth to my first little boy

Lucas who suffered from reflux and suddenly found myself washing his entire wardrobe every

single day.

From long sleeve bodysuits to leggings with feet, Wilson & Frenchy quickly became my eve-

ryday go-to as every single piece managed to still look stylish and new wash after wash.

But there’s so much more to love about this brand – the sizes are extra generous, self pro-

claimed as ranging from just-brought-into-this-world (size 0000) to “hey, I’m getting used to

being out here” (size 0) and I’m so sad this will be the last collection Lucas fits into!

Summer 2014/2015 has just launched and includes nautical ele-

phants, whales and geometrics for boys, golden polkadots and pretty

florals for girls, plus a mix of feathers and twilight prints for gender-

neutral styles.

Dominque is our children’s fashion expert. You can learn more

about Dominique or her online store Baby Dino on the About Us

page on our website or www.babydino.com.au

22

You've decided to catch up with a friend.

Do you plan your entire dialogue in ad-

vance - including your friend's script - and

expect both of you to stick to it? Of course

you don't. Not only would the expectation

be impossible, but you'd miss out on the

unexpected news from your friend, or the

funny turns of your conversation.

You've said you're going to spend the

weekend deciding on which dishwasher to

buy. Do you make a strict schedule - a

plan you can't deviate from? No, of course

you don't. You search the web, following

links, making a few calls or visits to stores

if necessary, and you might even go over

your budget a little if you find the right

purchase.

Flexibility is essential to our lives. We all

learn in different ways, and we all need to

be open to new possibilities. We can also

ensure our little ones have flexibility to

learn in their own ways too.

One study found that if a teacher showed a

child a new toy, and the way to play with

it (perhaps pressing a button to play a

tune) the child was more likely to play

with the toy that way and that way only,

rather than exploring all the other options

as the other children did. Keeping things

open-ended increased the children's flexi-

bility.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to

think about planning time, not planning

content.

We try to draw every day with our two

(aged 3 and nearly 2), and I might put up

something to provoke ideas, such as a

household object or something found on

our walks like a flower. But they can draw

what they like, and frequently surprise me

when they do.

We rarely do structured, step-by-step

crafts. Instead, recyclables and art materi-

als are made available for them to create

with.

It doesn't matter if it doesn't look like a

unicycle - she's put the time into designing

and building it, which is better than just

copying.

Maths play is open-ended - we'll play dice

games or abacus games, and she gets to

ask the questions in turn with me - and

reading time means the kids' choice of

material. I'll introduce new material regu-

Structuring time -

Not content

larly, but I don't expect the kids to say yes

to everything I offer - allowing the choice

means they're less suspicious of new things

next time, because they have the right to

say no.

When we play, rather than demonstrating

exactly what a toy does, we will let them

explore. And if Miss 3 decides that her

coloured pencils are a doll family, then

that's what they are.

Providing choice not only increases the

ability to problem-solve, but it also means

that what is chosen will be interesting to

the child, and therefore more motivating

and also more likely to be remembered.

Flexibility is even more important if your

child is anxious or has an autism spectrum

disorder. Making sure you don't say the

same thing in exactly the same way each

time (Dinner time! It's time for tea! Sit up

for your meal please!) means a little extra

work in understanding but a lot more learn-

ing. Ensuring that things change about -

sitting in different spots on the couch, tak-

ing different routes to school or shops, us-

ing a range of cutlery and plates - are all

important as they mean a bit more problem

solving (if I can't sit here, where can I sit?)

and a bit more learning.

Our adult lives are full of flexibility - flexi-

ble workers are sought-after and flexible

jobs are prized - so we need to start looking

at how we can build the same flexibility

into our kids' lives, too.

Caroline is a regular columnist with Small

Steps. Her monthly article shares insight

and knowledge for parents of special needs

children. She has two children of her own.

Handmade

and quality

children’s

products

www.angelbabes.com.au www.facebook.com/myangelbabes

My 2014

This month was about the little things.

Small, seemingly insignificant things we

can do to cut back on our spending and add

a little more to our savings.

I sat down and went through our spending

habits looking at spending that may have

been overlooked or areas where I can mini-

mise the spend.

Grocery shopping lately has been some-

thing I have been not as good on which is

pretty bad considering I had a great budget

down earlier in the year and was spending

approx $150 a week on my groceries. Un-

fortunately bad habits have meant that I

have slipped back into doing a small shop

several days a week and not a large shop

once a week like planned - I am going to

rediscipline myself with that this week on-

ward!

Other places that we spend money include

the obvious like electricity, water and pet-

rol so I came up with a list of ways to re-

duce these bills. Here are my tips for reduc-

ing your bills in these areas:

Turn off the TV. TV’s (especially the

large HD and plasma screens) can use

up quite a lot of power. Declaring a TV

free day or evening is a good way to not

only reduce your energy bill but also

allow you some extra time to bond with

the family through games night or a fun

outing like hiking or playing at the

park.

Switch off lights in rooms that are not

being used. I know this sounds like a

pretty obvious one but many rooms like

living rooms, kitchens and dining

rooms often have the lights left on dur-

ing the evening hours because they

seem to be the rooms most used. Try

turning these off and making it a habit.

Try to cook up your meals all at the one

time. I know on busy nights I am guilty

of switching the oven on at least twice -

for the children’s dinner and then our

meal. Planning ahead and using the

oven at the same time for both meals

will save electricity costs. Or even bet-

ter cook up a large batch so you don’t

have to cook on another night and just

reheat instead.

Buy energy monitors for your biggest

appliances. These are accessories that

you plug into your electrical items such

as TV’s to monitor how much energy

they are consuming. This can help you

to reduce the amount you are using by

either using it less or getting a replace-

Money Challenge

25

McGraths Hill Children’s Centre Inc

69 Andrew Thompson Dr, McGraths Hill Ph: 4587 7141 or email: mhcc@westnet.com.au

Open 6.30am-6.30pm

From birth to 6 years

Nutritious meals daily

Community based - Not for profit centre

Preschool transition programs

ment that costs less to use.

To save water try showering the kids a

couple of nights a week rather than bath-

ing. Baths use a lot more water than is

necessary and showers can be just as

much fun.

If you are using water for things like

paddle pools in the warmer weather,

make sure you cover them at the end of

playtime to avoid getting leaves or bugs

in the water. This means that next time

you want to play you don’t have to use

fresh water to fill it up again. Then just

refresh it when necessary.

To save petrol plan your grocery trips

for when you are out for other reasons

such as dropping the kids at school, on

your way home from work or during

kids sporting activities.

Try to fill up your car with petrol on

days that are cheapest. My husband

watches this carefully and we are usu-

ally able to save over 10cents a litre

each time we fill up.

Car pool where you can. Share the drive

to and from work or take turns dropping

your neighbours kids at school. If you

do one week and they do the alternate

you will halve your petrol bill for school

drop-offs!

These are just some of the ways that I no-

ticed our savings increase. Being organised

means you are better able to save money. I

notice that when I am time-poor I tend to

spend more for convenience so my goal is

to become more organised with my meal

planning, my outings in the car, my activi-

ties for the kids and more.

Next month I will share with you how I

planned a four year old birthday party for

my daughter including a cake, activities,

prizes and more for under $100! Who says

you need to spend a lot of money to have

fun.

If these articles interest you, you may also

like our blog post on 30 free activities for

kids. This a great post for those days you

need something to do and best thing is that

they are all free! Check out this post and

more on our website

www.smallstepsparenting.com

25

26

Growing up isn’t easy. When you ask

parents what they want most for their kids

they invariably say “I just want them to be

happy”. Naturally we all have our own

take on how to get happy but the wish is

universal.

Sadly, it’s getting harder and harder to

strike all the right balances that will give us

carefree kids. Is there anything more frus-

trating and upsetting than watching your

child lose the happy, playfulness they had

when they were younger. Fear changes

people (especially little people) and we

need to understand what causes it and how

best to help them.

The Anxiety Recovery Centre of Victoria

(Australia) puts the prevalence of anxiety

in children at between 5.7 - 15.4% in 7 to

11 year olds and 8.7 - 17.7% for 12 to 18

years. That being said, in my own practice

the number of little boys presenting with

debilitating fears about life and the world

around them is growing every day and I

believe it warrants a special look.

Developmentally, kids are able to get seri-

ously worried about what might happen in

the future from about eight years of age. It

can be hard as adults to imagine what they

could possibly have to worry about. The

truth is, kids today have worries we just

don’t get. When it comes to young boys, if

those fears are not identified, aired and

dealt with by the time High School collides

with puberty, there can be real trouble in

adolescence.

Another thing that often comes as a shock

to parents is that despite the fact that we all

try as hard as we can to shelter our kids

from our own troubles and strife, we gener-

ally kid ourselves about that and then they

spend a good chunk of their childhood wor-

rying about us. It wasn’t until my own

children were adults that I realised how

true this was.

And then there’s

school…

Anxiety surrounding school can result in

lots of unwanted behaviour including des-

perate attempts to avoid school. That often

results in lots of unexplained sickness.

There’s no question dealing with this kind

of stuff can be frustrating and even dis-

tressing but don’t be tempted to believe

you’re seeing dishonest, attention seeking

behaviour.

Anxiety in Boys

27

More often than not, young kids just don’t

know how to process intense emotions. It

makes no sense to them but physical illness

does. Think about it, there’s a cut-and-dried

procedure for a tummy ache or a sprained

ankle. Go to the sick bay, receive some

understanding and wait for someone to

come and take you home. Wait happens

when the pain is invisible? Make sure

there’s a procedure for over whelming emo-

tions at school too.

Another not-so-fun-fact about school anxi-

ety is that while it can certainly be about

fear or worry about something at or on the

way to school, it’s usually about the fear

that something bad will happen at home and

to loved ones while they’re away at school

and can’t protect anyone. Imagine what a

huge responsibility that feels like?

Then there’s the very real worry of becom-

ing a tiny little fish in a high school shark

pool after being a big, confident fish in a

little primary school pond. Ouch!

What to look for…

Little boys will usually reveal their anxiety

in three of ways. Sometimes, if you’re

lucky, they’ll just tell you they’re scared

and what of. Then there are the times when

a young man will decide for himself that his

fears make him inferior and he may become

withdrawn and quiet. Lastly there are the

projectors. These are the boys that are not

willing to accept feelings of vulnerability so

they’ll compensate with displays of power

with people they trust (sorry, Mum, but

that’s usually you!). They’ll be angry, loud

and bossy in a bid to claw back a feeling of

strength and control. This method of cop-

ing is tricky because the underlying emo-

tional fragility understandably often gets

missed.

Most importantly, look for change in your

boy’s behaviour, mood and attitude. If he

just doesn’t seem ‘himself’, he’s probably

not.

What to do…

My top ten list of things to take seriously

when helping your little boy through a

fearful time:

Quality of sleep. This is ESSENTIAL

for any mood issues.

Diet. Make sure meals aren’t skipped

and are made up of wholesome, healthy

foods.

Talking things out. Let them share their

feelings without judgement or interrup-

tion.

Share your own fears and ways of cop-

ing. Be human but don’t over expose.

Limit screen time. It’s not ok to let

them control their own technology expo-

sure.

Exercise. Get those muscles moving

and bodies tired.

Make busy, creative minds. Empty

brain space will fill up with worries.

Talk about the good side of anxiety and

how it can keep you safe in the right

setting.

Learn what they like. Spend time doing

things one-on-one together.

If the worries and behaviours continue,

seek out professional help

These periods need only be temporary if

they’re grabbed early and dealt with sensi-

tively but seriously. Let them know how

normal it all is but we must never tell them

we know how they feel. We don’t. Open

communication and good quality rest and

counselling will go a long way to seeing

you all through.

Written by Angela Bradley, B.A., Grad. Dip.

Psych., AMAPS, Registered Psychologist.

For more information or advice, contact

Angela via www.angelabradleyonline.com

Kids Fun!

28

Find the matching pairs. Draw a line between the animals that are the same.

29

RRP $5.99 Available on Amazon Kindle www.amazon.com Reviewed by Julie-Anne England The first book in a planned series of PJ Millar Caterpillar is a complete delight to read. Simple rhymes and an interesting story meant even my 18 month old was able to enjoy and be held captive throughout the story. The pictures are bright and simple. In this book you will be introduced to the cute little caterpillar PJ. It tells of his little adventure out into the world and what he encounters. From a cute ladybug to the whooshing wind you will meet some delightful characters and fll in love with PJ Millar Caterpillar. Read this to your children several times until they become familiar with the story. Allow them to point to the illustrations and share their thoughts on PJ’s adventure. Here are a few activities you can do during the week:

Go for a nature walk and see if you can find any caterpillars. Talk to your

children about other things you might find on your walk such as ants, bee-

tles and maybe even a spider!

Make your own cater-

pillar by glueing pom-

poms in a line on a

piece of paper. Add

googly eyes for a face.

Climb into sleeping

bags and pretend to be

caterpillars by wriggling

along the ground.

I hope you and your family

enjoy this book as much

as we do, it’s definitely a

favourite!

PJ Millar Caterpillar

By Jamison Sky and Martine Tunaley

A Book Review

Do you run your own business or

want to start one?

Don’t miss this Small Steps special issue

Out on the 13th October 2014!

Grab your copy next month..

All articles in Small Steps are for editorial purposes and not necessarily the opinion of the publisher. Small Steps does

not represent or endorse the accuracy or reliability of any of the information, content, or advertisements contained on,

distributed through, or linked, downloaded, or accessed through this magazine or the corresponding website or face-

book page, nor the quality of any products, information or other materials displayed, purchased, or obtained by you as

a result of an advertisement or any other information.

In no event shall Small Steps be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, or consequential damages of any

kind whatsoever with respect to the service, the materials, and the products. You are encouraged to exercise discretion

while browsing the Internet. No part of this publication or the corresponding website is to be copied or reproduced

without permission. Image on page 17 supplied by freedigitalphotos.net

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