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ALL MATERIAL COPYRIGHT 2013 14 STORIES
Lessons Learned from a Decade of Same-Sex Weddings PRESENTED BY BERNADETTE COVENEY SMITH APRIL 2014
Civil Unions don’t make the grade • Most states with civil unions now have
full marriage equality • Civil unions provide no federal benefits • Same-sex couples spend 3x more on
weddings vs civil unions. • 76% of those receiving civil unions or
domestic partnership had no reception or spent insignificant funds on their wedding
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Gay Weddings are Historically Smaller and Less Expensive
• only 5% have more than 200 guests, 23% have 100-200.
• 4% of each of our populations (straight and gay) are spending $96k+
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Gay Men spend less than lesbians. Older couples spend the least
• Lesbians spend 15% more than gay men
• Couples now engaged are spending 32% more than those currently married
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There are many differences between traditional straight vs gay weddings – most of which involve a lack of tradition – and
especially among gay men
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Please tell us which of the following wedding traditions you used.
Female same-sex couples are far more likely to follow wedding ceremony traditions than male same-sex couples
Male Same-sex Couples
Female Same-sex Couples
36%
35%
32%
27%
19%
18%
18%
17%
16%
15%
47%
58%
57%
44%
18%
19%
22%
35%
12%
19%
Rehearsal dinner
A first dance together as newlyweds
Gift registry
Having formal, posed photos during cocktail hour
Other
Ring Bearer
A formal, announced dance with one or both moms/dads
Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
Receiving Line
Flower Girl
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Female same-sex couples are far more likely to follow wedding ceremony traditions than male same-sex couples.
Male Same-sex Couples
Female Same-sex Couples
13%
10%
9%
9%
8%
7%
6%
6%
3%
2%
42%
15%
7%
29%
46%
23%
8%
5%
11%
9%
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Line dances such as the Electric Slide
Charity registry
Wedding Shower
Wearing white
Not seeing each other before the ceremony
Throwing rice/birdseed/confetti/other
Stomp on a glass (Jewish tradition)
A bouquet toss
A garter toss
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The wedding party has it easy How many people were in your wedding party (i.e. bridesmaids,
groomsmen, etc.?) (Total for both partners)
Among Married, CU or DP
We did not have a wedding party
1 2-3 4-5 6-7 8+
30% 3% 30% 15% 9% 14%
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• 62% of engaged LGBTs have the support of their parents
• 47% of married LGBTs do
Our parents are getting better
There’s no need for gender roles 78% of gay men and 59% of lesbians enter the ceremony together
holding hands
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Quality matters more than community • Just because someone’s gay doesn’t mean they are good at their
job! • Only 46% really care about hiring LGBT. Personality is most
important, followed by experience and portfolio
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On a scale of 1-5, how important was the following when selecting a wedding planner or professional to
assist you with the ceremony? Among Married, CU, DP or Engaged
% Rating 4 or 5 on 5 pt. scale 5 = Very Important
79%
67%
53%
46%
41%
35%
Personality of the wedding professional
Professional has history of assis3ng same-‐sex couples
Por9olio of the wedding professional
Professional is part of the LGBT community
Referral from a friend or family
Professional adver3ses in the LGBT media or at LGBT events
One quarter experience discrimination when planning
We ordered our wedding invitations from a website and received a
response saying that the owners were Christians who do not approve of same sex relationships. They said
that they would not refuse our order, but would donate all proceeds to an
ex-gay organization.
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The original hotel we were going to have our reception at canceled after we went in for the tour. The hotel wedding concierge we had been working with suddenly wouldn't return our calls. Finally he told us they had booked another event on our date and couldn't host our reception. They refunded our deposit,
but we had to reprint our invitations because of the change.
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U.S. Anti-Discrimination Laws
HI
AK
FL
MI
ME
NY
PA
VA WV
OH
IN IL
WI
NC TN
AK
MO
GA
SC
KY
AL
LA
MS
IA
MN
OK
TX
NM
KS
NE
SD
ND
WY
MT
CO
ID
UT NNV
AZ
OR
WA
CA
VT
NH
MA
NJ
DE
DC
CT
RI
Language matters.
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an average of 70% of same-sex couples find this very important
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BRIDE'S INFORMATION: First Name: _________________________________ Last Name: ________________________ Address/P.O. Box: _______________________
City: ______________________________________ State: _____________ Zip: ____________ Telephone (include area code): ___________________
Email: ______________________________________________________ GROOM'S INFORMATION: First Name: _________________________________ Last Name: ____________________ Address/P.O. Box: _________________________________________________ City: ______________________________________ State: _____________ Zip: ____________ Telephone (include area code): ___________________ Email: ______________________________________________________ THE CEREMONY: Ceremony time: ___________ AM/PM What time should the photographer arrive? ___________ AM/PM Facility Name/Location: ___________________________________________________
City: ______________________________________ State: _____________ Zip: ____________ Telephone (include area code): ___________________ How many are in the wedding party: ____________ Maid/Matron of Honor's Name: First Name: _________________________ Last Name: _____________________________ Best Man's Name: First Name: _________________________ Last Name: _____________________________
Try these inclusive terms.
Brides and Grooms Couples All couples Sweethearts Sweetie Newlywed Spouses Partners Wedding Couple
It’s a big, diverse community and that’s reflected in our weddings…
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Keep in touch! Facebook: @bernadettesmith @14stories Twitter: @gaywedding @14stories Pinterest: @14stories Instagram: @14stories www.14stories.com www.GayWeddingInstitute.com
THANK YOU
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