Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factor kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

The Optimist’s Advantage

Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factorkirk@thehappinessfactor.com

50%

10%

40%Genetics,Background & Programming

Circumstances

What you can control and change

Source: The How of Happiness, Sonya Lyubormirski

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Real

IdealGap

DisappointmentNegative thinkingEmotional trapsNegative meaningBlameGuiltEmotional painVictimizationUnmet expectationsSelf-Criticism & Self-IndictmentPast experiences

Give yourself more credit!What you

do!

Who you are!

Your roles, your net worth, your mistakes, service to others,

profession, accomplishments, awards, recognition, your weight,

your looks, your body, etc..

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Real

IdealGap Drama, urgent issues,

hurt feelings & being offended

Managing the Gap!

Eliminate the drama!

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Real

IdealGap

Unmet expectations& perfectionistic tendencies

Managing the Gap!

Learn to let go

Of what you can’t control www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Learning to let goAsk yourself:

On a scale of 1 to 10 how much control do I have over this event, situation, people, outcome?

What is it that I can actually control?

On a scale of 1 to 10 how much influence do I have over the events, people, situation or outcome?

What exactly can I influence?

Control No Control

Influence

No Influence

ACTIVEPASSIVE

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Real

IdealGap

Negative thinking, Self-Criticism & Self-Indictment

Managing the Gap!

I’m so stupid

What will they think of me?

I just blew it!

I’m uglyI say dumb

things

Idiot!

I can’t do anything

right

Lazy!

Fat!

Slacker

Loser

No one likes me!

Weak

I can’t cook!

Clown

Dumb! Fake Failure!

Bad!

What if I make a Mistake?

Who would want to love me?

Klutz!

Nerd

Geek

Blimp

Idiot

DorkWeak

CowardAfraid

Shy

Silly

Sick

Idiot

Bad

Fat

Don’t believe everything you think!

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

That’s not true! Because I am …..

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Real

IdealGap Negative experiences

(present and past)

Managing the Gap!

Everything happens for a reason –

But you get to choose the reason!

Choose a reason that is personal ,significant

and meaningful

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Own the reason!

Re-frame your past

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Re-tell the stories you tell yourself!

Re-tell the story you tell yourself with YOU as the hero!

Same facts

Same situation

Different emotional outcome

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Create your own golden ticket!

www.thehappinessfactor.com / Kirk@thehappinessfactor.com

Real

IdealGap

The Optimist’s Advantage

Give yourself more creditLearn to under-reactLearn to let go of what you can’t controlDon’t believe everything you thinkLearn a new inner-vocabularyReframe your pastRe-tell the stories you tell yourself

Thank you!

Kirk Wilkinson - Founder and President of The Happiness Factorkirk@thehappinessfactor.com