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50%
10%
40%Genetics,Background & Programming
Circumstances
What you can control and change
Source: The How of Happiness, Sonya Lyubormirski
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
Real
IdealGap
DisappointmentNegative thinkingEmotional trapsNegative meaningBlameGuiltEmotional painVictimizationUnmet expectationsSelf-Criticism & Self-IndictmentPast experiences
Give yourself more credit!What you
do!
Who you are!
Your roles, your net worth, your mistakes, service to others,
profession, accomplishments, awards, recognition, your weight,
your looks, your body, etc..
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
Real
IdealGap Drama, urgent issues,
hurt feelings & being offended
Managing the Gap!
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
Real
IdealGap
Unmet expectations& perfectionistic tendencies
Managing the Gap!
Learning to let goAsk yourself:
On a scale of 1 to 10 how much control do I have over this event, situation, people, outcome?
What is it that I can actually control?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how much influence do I have over the events, people, situation or outcome?
What exactly can I influence?
Control No Control
Influence
No Influence
ACTIVEPASSIVE
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
Real
IdealGap
Negative thinking, Self-Criticism & Self-Indictment
Managing the Gap!
I’m so stupid
What will they think of me?
I just blew it!
I’m uglyI say dumb
things
Idiot!
I can’t do anything
right
Lazy!
Fat!
Slacker
Loser
No one likes me!
Weak
I can’t cook!
Clown
Dumb! Fake Failure!
Bad!
What if I make a Mistake?
Who would want to love me?
Klutz!
Nerd
Geek
Blimp
Idiot
DorkWeak
CowardAfraid
Shy
Silly
Sick
Idiot
Bad
Fat
Don’t believe everything you think!
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
That’s not true! Because I am …..
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
Real
IdealGap Negative experiences
(present and past)
Managing the Gap!
Everything happens for a reason –
But you get to choose the reason!
Choose a reason that is personal ,significant
and meaningful
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
Own the reason!
Re-tell the stories you tell yourself!
Re-tell the story you tell yourself with YOU as the hero!
Same facts
Same situation
Different emotional outcome
www.thehappinessfactor.com / [email protected]
The Optimist’s Advantage
Give yourself more creditLearn to under-reactLearn to let go of what you can’t controlDon’t believe everything you thinkLearn a new inner-vocabularyReframe your pastRe-tell the stories you tell yourself
