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KIRK FLASHBOOK
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RITING3
ILM12
HOREOGRAPHYRINT16
1
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RITING
ILM
HOREOGRAPHYRINT
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WILL YOU BE LAUGHING AT 30?!
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30-WordFunnies
First Class
My name is Sandra. Welcome to First
Class. No Doubt youre all very
excited to be here but please note,I fly in this bit all the time, so
when Im coming around with your
champagne, a little respect please.
McDonalds
PAMELA: Look, Im really unhappy.
The napkins were in the dispenserthe wrong way, which made it very
hard to get them out.
MEL: The rest of your life must be
amazing.
Clapham Mums
SUSAN: Im so glad we could do this.
DEBORAH: Its nice to catch up over
a Starbucks, isnt it?
SUSAN: Just so busy these days,
being new mums and all!
DEBORAH: Doing much tomorrow?
SUSAN: No. Nero?
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30-WordFunnies GYM
SARAH: Hello Sales.
SEAN: Ive got some people at reception
interested in gym membership.
SARAH: Looks?
SEAN: Couple. Arab.SARAH: Rich Arab or poor Arab?
SEAN: The woman looks miserable.
SARAH: Im coming down.
STREET PREACHER
MAUD: Han when yuh welcom de lard
Jeezas inna ya art, de devil, im no
choble yuh. Im no av no effek pon
yuh.
Jack: You know, I do love these urban
street rappers.
SKINNY
PAM: Gosh, Carole, youve lost so much weight!CAROL: I know!
PAM: You look fabulous!
CAROL: The trick is not having so much to eat.
PAM: Its working!
CAROL: I know. Losing my job may not have done
much for my self esteem or bank balance, but
its done wonders for my figure!
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Chaka,Act1,Scene1,Openingp.1p.5
UniversityofCaliforniaSanDiego,2009
INT. CONCERT HALL. EVENING
Chakas head fills the frame as ceremonial music blares. Heis a pretty, 17 year-old black boy, complete with a poofycopper wig and full makeup.
CHAKA ducks graciously to make way for a tiara being placed
on his poofy head and accepts a huge bouquet of flowers fromhis left. The music swells and we pull out to reveal CHAKAin a floor length gown as he descends an extravagant movingstaircase. The CROWD cheers. There are balloons andstreamers everywhere.
CROWDChaka! Chaka!
As the music to RuPauls Supermodel starts, CHAKA throwsdown his bouquet and is now magically wearing a far moreglitzy outfit. The live band complete with hunky MEN inopen silk shirts stirs and CHAKA mimes the wordsemphatically.
A string of DRAG QUEENS are swaying in unison either side ofhim, one of whom is KAI, a petite teenage Chinese drag queenwith a shiny black bob and mini dress. The two exchange asaccharine smile.
INT. CHAKAS BEDROOM. MORNING.
CHAKA turns to face us and he is in his bedroom in a flatcopper wig and minimal makeup. He is wearing a small hoodedtop and skinny jeans. The daydream is over. He stops miming.
The music continues playing, quietly, from a little stereosystem. KAI, in regular boys attire, is doing exaggeratedgestures to the music in the mirror.
MANEESHA, CHAKAs stepmother, calls from downstairs. She isof Indian descent, has a trace of an accent and is aflustery little woman.
MANEESHA (O.S.)Come on, come on! You are going tobe late, child.
CHAKA(to Kai)
Well finish it later yeah?
KAI stops dancing.
(CONTINUED)
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CONTINUED: 2.
KAIMaybe, I might decide to go toschool tomorrow.
CHAKAWhen you say school, you mean myhouse, yeah? Theyre gonna callyour mum, you know?
They exchange a knowing glance.
MANEESHA (O.S.)Child!
KAIYour step mums going mad, youbetter go.
CHAKAYou better go! She thinks youreliving here now, you know?
KAII will, man, in time. In time.
KAI and CHAKA exchange a brief hug and CHAKA flies out ofthe room and down the stairs. The music is still playing inthe background.
INT. KITCHEN. MORNING.
MANEESHA is at the kitchen counter buttering a piece oftoast. She then takes it to the kitchen table and sits.
MANEESHAI keep telling your father youspend too much time getting ready.Too many distractions. CD.Magazine. TV. DVD. And that boy.When is he going home?
CHAKA leans across to give his stepmother a kiss on thecheek. She half-seriously swats him away. In a swiftmovement, CHAKA grabs the piece of toast out of Maneeshasplate and runs out the door.
MANEESHA (CONTD)Chi chi chi! Tum pagal ho gaya?Chi!
(TUM PAGAL HO GAYA? IS HINDI FOR "HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?")
MANEESHA gets up angrily and rushes to the kitchen window.
Chaka,Act1,Scene1,Openingp.1p.5
UniversityofCaliforniaSanDiego,2009
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3.
EXT. COUNCIL ESTATE. DAY.
MANEESHA (CONTD)(shouting out of a small window)
You are crazy, crazy! You hearthat? Crazy, crazy! Chi!
CHAKA pauses to acknowledge his stepmothers chiding andcontinues, strutting along, whilst miming to the song whichis playing a little louder now.
EXT. STREET CORNER BUS STOP OUTSIDE COUNCIL ESTATE. DAY
CHAKA passes a group of teenage GIRLS from the neighbourhoodwith tiny backpacks on. They are on their way to school.They are an ethnically diverse bunch, and each has her ownelaborate hairdo. DIONNE turns around. She is pretty, black,and has the most ornate hair.
DIONNEHi, Chaka.
CHAKAHey, Didi. Hey, girls.
GIRLSHey.
CHAKA (CONTD)Listen, I cant stop but Ill catchyou lot on the way back, yeah.
CHAKA and the GIRLS exchange a series of quick hugs. Themusic swells as the GIRLS let out their droning byes. Call
it school morning teenage energy levels.
CHAKA continues on, marching briskly now. As CHAKA turns thecorner a big red bus zooms past loudly, the GIRLS all letout disappointed groans and chastise each other.
EXT. PECKHAM HIGH ROAD. DAY.
As CHAKA turns onto the road, three teenage boys pass him onbikes. MARLON, black, STEFAN, Indian and CLAUDE, white.
MARLONWatch out you poof.
(CONTINUED)
Chaka,Act1,Scene1,Openingp.1p.5
UniversityofCaliforniaSanDiego,2009
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CONTINUED: 4.
CHAKAPiss off you twat.
STEFAN
(yelling as he circles Chaka)Poof!
CHAKASorry, Im not gay but if you want,I think Claude might be up for it.
Taken aback by the comeback, STEFAN and CLAUDE nearlycollide their bikes. The boys jeer each other. CHAKA watchesthem cycle off and enters the next shop.
INT. LEROYS ROTI RESTAURANT. DAY.
The entry bell sounds and the music comes to an abrupt stop.LEROY, Chakas father, is standing behind the counter, arms
folded. He is tall, black and friendly looking with a dotingtone and East London accent. Although now he is frowning. Aconversation between radio DJs can be heard on the shopradio quietly in the background.
LEROYYoure late, son.
CHAKAYeah, dad, Im sorry, I saw Dionneinnit, and you know how that girlcan chat.
CHAKA heads of into the backroom.
LEROY
Its not good enough, Leon. Leon?
CHAKA (O.S.)(sharply)
Dad.
LEROYOK, Chaka. Right,
well..Chaka...youre gonna need tostart leaving earlier if youregonna want to stop and chat withDionne then.
CHAKA emerges with an apron on.
(CONTINUED)
Chaka,Act1,Scene1,Openingp.1p.5
UniversityofCaliforniaSanDiego,2009
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CONTINUED: 5.
CHAKAWell, no. Because if I leaveearlier she wont be at the bus stopby then, will she? When I see her,
Im just gonna tell her I cantchat because I have to work innit.Dont worry about it, dad.
LEROYThats what you said last week,Chaka.
The entry bell rings as a customer, a small CHINESE WOMANwith shopping bags, enters.
LEROY (CONTD)(softening)
Right, we have a customer. You needto cover your...
LEROY makes flapping hand gestures by the sides of hishead in reference to Chakas wig.
LEROY (CONTD)Put on your cap.
CHAKAYes, daddy.
CHAKA puts on his cap with mock professionalism and purpose.LEROY flashes a sheepish smile. CHAKA seems to know how to
melt him.
INT. KITCHEN. AFTERNOON.
MANEESHA is standing in the kitchen, sleeves rolled up witha rolling pin and ingredients to make samosas. An IndianRecipe book is open on the table behind her.
The golden afternoon light is filtering in through thekitchen window and the song Matwala Jiya from the filmMother India is playing quietly on the kitchen stereo.
MANEESHA starts to roll the dough slowly with the rollingpin as if it is her first time. She grabs an egg and cracksit over the rolled-out dough. She pauses to study the recipebook. She turns back to look at the mixture.
MANEESHACrap.
The music climaxes and finishes.
Chaka,Act1,Scene1,Openingp.1p.5
UniversityofCaliforniaSanDiego,2009
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RITING
ILM
HOREOGRAPHY
RINT
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visitwww.youtube.com/kirkflashcrea=ve
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RITING
ILM
HOREOGRAPHY
RINT
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visitwww.youtube.com/kirkflashcrea=ve
PlaygroundSee,2011
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RITING
ILM
HOREOGRAPHY
RINT
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SportsnutriEonisntprioriEsedasapartofafitnessregime,
andisoIenseenasanunnecessaryextra.
ShowmenhowtheinclusionofOpEmumNutriEonGold
StandardWheyProteininhisfitnessregimegiveshimthe
advantage.
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YOUVE DONE ALL THE
HARD WORK TIME TO
GET THE MOST OUT OF IT.
For better results than working out alone
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For better results than working out alone
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For better results than working out alone
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WemakeassumpEonsaboutapersonspersonalhygiene
basedonthecleanlinessoftheirhome,andparEcularlytheir
bathroomsandtoilets.
Showtheconsequencesofhavinganuncleanbathroom.
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TOLTFLUSHSOUND
Mother-in-lawenters
andsitsdown
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SPRAYBOTTL:TSSSSSTSSSSS
silentjudgementappearssubEtledonscreen
RUBBRSTAMPSOUNDasendEtleappears
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Publictoiletlids-ckers
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Whentherearenowords,
letyourfacedothe
commen-ng.A social enablement app integrated
with Facebook allowing users to
communicateinawaytheycouldnt
before.And its brought to themby
Viakal.
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Seeyourfriendslatestpost/
statusupdate/whateveron
Snapapicture
onyour
device
Userssnapapicturewiththeirdevices
frontfacingcamera
andusethatto
comment.
..andinstantly
passyourSilent
Judgement
PlaytheJudgeYourFriends
statussimulatorgame
JudgeYourFriendscreatesficEonalstatus
updatesfromyourfriendsonFacebookthatuserscanpasstheirjudgementon.
UserscanPassJudgement(play),Passthis
Person(skiptoanotherfriend),orPassit
On(shareit)
PassitOnandyourpostwill
looklikeareal
Viakaladon
yourfriends
Emeline!
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Qualityisimportanttoeveryone.Nowtheworldisslowly
easingoutofglobalrecession,wellbelookingformoreinour
productsandservices.
Showflyersthequalitytheyvegrownaccustomedtodoing
withoutonothercarriers.
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ItsbecauseCanadaissobig.Wehavetomaketheeffort.With each us having about 3 kilometres to ourselves,Canadiansarefurtherawayfromoneanotherthananyoneelseonearth.AndthatswhyAirCanadastartedwayback
in1937.
Webeganwithjust3aircraft,andtheyflewacrossCanada,introducingCanadianstoeachother.Andnotonlytoeach
other,buttonewstandardsofairtravel.
Now,wevegrownabitsince1937,allowingustomakeintroductionsallovertheworld.(Andbytheway,World,
youvebeengreattous).Itstimewereturnedthefavour.
Letusintroduceyoutobetter.Becausethatswhatwedo.
Wereaboutintroductions.Comeandmakeyours.
Introducingbetter
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Ourfleetscomealongwaysince1937.Makeyourintroductionataircanada.com
Introducingbetter
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Experiencethelongestlegroominthesky.Makeyourintroductionataircanada.com
Introducingbetter
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Morecuisineoptionsforallpassengers.Makeyourintroductionataircanada.com
Introducingbetter
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Thebestentertainmentinthesky.Makeyourintroductionataircanada.com
Introducingbetter
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Beourguest.Makeyourintroductionataircanada.com
Introducingbetter
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CosmeEcsurgeryfeelslikeanindulgenceandnotan
investment.
Howdoyouconvincepeopleotherwisewithoutahardsell?
Insight
Challenge
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guess what I do, but
youdneverguesswhat Ive had done
You could probably
Your success is ours
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guess what I do, but
youdneverguesswhat Ive had done
You could probably
Your success is ours
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Winningtheloeryistoocloselyassociatedwithexcessive
livingandunrealisEcextravagance.
ncenEviseplaybyreposiEoningtheNaEonalLoerywitha
focusontheluxuriesthatmaer.
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IS A LOT OF UPKEEP. NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WANT
AND YOU DONT NEED TO OWN THATAMERICAN FOOTBALL TEAM. NOW,
NO MORE FACE-TO-PITIN THE MORNING RUSH HOUR SOUNDS BETTER, AND AN
ISNT BAD AT ALL. WE HEAR
HAWAIIS NICETHIS TIME OF YEAR,BUT IF YOU
PREFER YOUR OWN PRIVATE ISLAND
YOU DONT ACTUALLY WANT A
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YOU DON T ACTUALLY WANT A
OR A STATELY MANSION IN THE
MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.A NOISY SPORTS CARISNT REALLY YOU,AND CAVIAR EVERY DAY IS A BIT MUCH. NOW,
A LIE-IN EVERY DAY,FOREVER,THATS MORE LIKE IT. OR A PHONE CONTRACT WITHENOUGH EVERYTHING.IT WAS NEVER REALLY ABOUT THE BIG THINGSWITH YOU, WAS IT? OF COURSE, IF YOU
A GOLDEN YACHT... NAH, WE KNOW YOU DONT.
Tube carriage print
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Tubecarriageprint
Tube sta-on pla=orm print
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Tubesta-onpla=ormprint
Coffee sleeve experien-al
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Coffeesleeveexperien-al
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19thFebruary,2013
DearInsuranceSolutionsplc,Pleaseacceptthisasmyletterofresignation,effective
asofnow.Mycircumstanceshavechanged.
Thankyoufortheexperience.Allthebest
Sarah
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WatchesconstantlytellusaboutthequanEEesofEmewehave
spentorhaveleI.
RaiseawarenessforanddifferenEateSekondawithanew
understandingofEme.
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One second. A million nows.
THIS SECOND. THIS
Download the
Sekonda app, and
when the timecomes, show the
world y .JULY
11THTHE
TheSekondaWEARENOWmobileevent,11:11:11GMTJuly11th
YoudownloadtheSekondamobileapp,abackwards-Eckingclock,whichnotonlyalerts
youtoeventsinyourdiary,butalsotofunEme-relatedtriviaandthelatestnewsfrom
Sekonda.TheappthenremindsyouthattheWARNOWeventisapproachingand
automaEcallyacEvatesthedevicescamerasothatyourereadytosnapwhatevers
happeninginyournowwhenthesecondcomes.
YourethengiventheopEontoaddyourphotototheWARNOWdigitalcollage,
viewableonyourdevice,onlineandondigitalbillboards.
Digitalbillboardexample
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II:II:IIJ U L Y
1 1 T H
One second. A million nows.
THIS SECOND. THIS
THE
Download the Sekonda app
and be part of the next
event
magesflickeringfromonetothenext
g p
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Walking the dog Just got firedIts a boy I didnt get it She dumped me I justwon! It didnt go through Were married! I lost itIm going to law school! Dad gotthe all clear Missed the bus I found ten pounds I got the promotion I justsigned the lease My water just broke He said sorry I just resigned Wevelanded Im getting out Were back togetherIm late It came back I didnt get inPuppies! The boss said no We found a school Its negative Weve just been
burgledThe surgery was a success Im officially blonde I m quitting Im ill Werepregnant I just came out to my my parents Just booked the flight Im ready toleave I just arrived I just caught the last train Its over I just got asked out I justfinished my book Time for bed I just woke up That was my last shift My boss isringing me At the gymSomeone just stole my wallet I just told him I loved him I
just made my last student loan payment! Im totally lost I just taught my firstclass Im so bored in this meeting She just looked at me I told him At thehospital again Our friendship is over I just lied to her Hes just been released!Its not about how much time weve spent or how much time we have left. Its about now. !
THIS SECOND. THIS
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Usersareaffordedtheanonymityabsentinsocialmedia.PosEngwhattheyaredoingin
thepresent,theWeAreNowpagebecomesalivingtapestryofthingshappeningthatsecond,allowinguserstoseethediversemixofhumanexperiencesthatmakeupnow.
Postsuploadontothesiteanddigitalbillboardsspeciallyinstalledupanddownthe
country.AEckingclocktellingtheexactcurrentEmeissynchronisedacrossallchannels.
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THIS SECOND. THIS
Whats happening this !second? !
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He just said his first word Walking the dog Just got firedIts a boy I didnt get itShe dumped me I just won! It didnt go through Were married! I lost itIm goingto law school! Dad got the all clear Missed the bus I found ten pounds I got thepromotion I just signed the lease My water just broke He said sorry I justresigned Weve landed Im getting out Were back together Im late It cameback I didnt get in Puppies! The boss said no We found a school Its negative
Weve just been burgledThe surgery was a success Im officially blonde I mquitting Im ill Were pregnantI just came out to my my parents Just booked theflight Im ready to leave I just arrived I just caught the last train Its over I just gotasked out I just finished my book Time for bed I just woke up That was my lastshift My boss is ringing me At the gymSomeone just stole my wallet I just told
him I loved him I just made my last student loan payment! Im totally lost I justtaught my first class Im so bored in this meeting She just looked at me I toldhim At the hospital again Our friendship is over I just lied to her Hes just been !
THIS SECOND. THIS
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SolstrugglestodifferenEateitselfinamarketfullofboled
lightbeerswherethereisverylilebrandloyalty.Brandsinthis
categoryaretreatedasinterchangeable.
GetpeopletoconsiderSol.
So
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So
good
So
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So
good
So
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So
good
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mailsarecommonplaceanddontfeelassignificantasleers.
RearEculatetheimpactofaleer.
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A letter changes everything
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A letter changes everything
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A letter changes everything
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