FUNDAMENTALS OF WRITING June 5, 2014. Writing Consultations - Instead of an official make up class,...

FUNDAMENTALS OF WRITING

June 5, 2014

Writing Consultations

- Instead of an official make up class, everyone will participate in a one-on-one writing consultation.

- Please check the website for the available time slots.

- Make sure you have prepared questions before coming to the consultation.

Today

Improving writing clarity & style:

- Avoiding nominalization

- Academic style (revisited)

Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

i.e.,

illustrate illustration

fail failure

react reaction

Nominalization

Turning a verb into a noun.

- We implemented the plan successfully

- The implementation of the plan was successful.

Try to avoid this as much as possible.

Nominalization

The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.

The hope of the student is to earn good grades.

There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.

A ski trip should be planned.

Nominalization

Problems created by nominalization:

- Passive voice

- Unnecessary words

- loss of agent

- use of “be” verbs as main verb

- loss of clarity.

First: Review - Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

People are using less ink because they are using more pencils. (12 words),

First: Review - Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The way the researchers analyzed the data indicates they do not know how to synthesize data. (16 words)

Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

Problems with nominalization:

- Make sentences less concise (wordy).

- Increase noun-to-verb ratio.

- Make sentences more difficult to understand.

- Can make reading tedious.

Revising Nominalization

Look for:

1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate investigation)

2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main verb.

3. The use of passive voice.

4. A missing agent.

Revising Nominalization

1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate investigation)

- Locate verbs functioning as nouns and change them to action words.

i.e.,

The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.

The detective investigated the crime.

Revising Nominalization

2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main verb.

Replace simple “to be” verbs with more “action-oriented” verbs.

i.e.,

The hope of the student is to earn good grades.

The student hopes to earn good grades.

Revising Nominalization

3. The use of passive voice.

- Switch to active voice.

i.e.,

There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.

Heavy rains flooded the building.

Revising Nominalization

4. A missing agent.

Provide an agent by indicating who or what is doing the action in the sentence.

i.e.,

A ski trip should be planned.

Jim should plan our ski trip.

Revising Nominalization

1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of our debate.

2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision.

3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.

4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.

Revising Nominalization

5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.

6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in Morgan Hill.

7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.

8. It was expected that our collection of data would be quick.

Revising Nominalization

9. The coroner did an examination of the body.

10. A demand must exist for clean energy

First: Review - NominalizationNoun forms of verbs.

i.e.,

The commencement of the ceremony will be at noon.

With an action verb:

The ceremony will commence at noon.

The ceremony commences at noon.

Revising Nominalization 1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of our debate. We debated the budget cuts for the Writing Center.

2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision. The jury intends to reach a decision.

3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.

The city government must reinforce this law. This law needs to be reinforced.

4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.

We studied how lung cancer progresses

Revising Nominalization

5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.

The storm delayed the flight.

6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in Morgan Hill

The 2007 fires in Morgan Hill scorched vegetation.

7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.

We presented a new regulation.

8. It was expected that our collection of data would be quick.

We expected to collect data quickly.

Revising Nominalization

9. The coroner did an examination of the body.

The coroner examined the body.

10. A demand must exist for clean energy.

We must demand clean energy.

Academic WritingAcademic writing:

- precise

- formal or semi-formal

- objective

Example:

A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.

They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.

I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that we now get storms etc all the time.

Academic WritingAcademic writing:

- Aim is to present information as clearlyand accurately as possible.

Example:

A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.

They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.

I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that we now get storms etc all the time.

Academic Writing Passage Problem

A lot of people think… Imprecise – how many is ‘a lot’?

…the weather… Imprecise – ‘weather’ is a short term concept

…getting worse… Informal

They say… Imprecise pronoun

…going on… Informal phrasal verb

…quite a long time. Imprecise – how long is this?

I think… Informal - personal pronoun

Research… Vague – whose research?

…we now get… Informal

…storms, etc… vague

…all the time. Overgeneralized

Academic Writing

A lot of people think that the weather is getting worse.

They say that this has been going on for quite a long time.

I think that they are quite right. Research has shown that we now get storms etc all the time.

Re-written:

Experts widely believe that the climate is deteriorating. Climatologists claim that this process has been continuing for nearly 100 years. McKinley (1997) appears to support this belief, demonstrating a 55% increase in the frequency of severe winter gales since 1905.

Tips for Academic Style

1. Avoid idioms or colloquial vocabulary.

i.e., “dad”, “guy”.

Instead, use standard English

“father”, “man”

Tips for Academic Style

2. Be as precise as possible when discussing facts or figures.

Avoid phrases such as “about a hundred years ago”or “thousands of years ago”

If you must estimate numbers, use “approximately” not “about”

“approximately one hundred years ago…”

Tips for Academic Style

3. Avoid adverbs that show your personal attitude/opinion.

i.e., “luckily”, “thankfully”, “happily”, “regrettably”

Tips for Academic Style

4. Do not use contractions.

Don’t do not

Can’t cannot

Note: Possessives are not contractions.

i.e., The school’s projector.

Tips for Academic Style

5. Avoid these words:

“like” for introducing examples.

Alternative: “such as, …” “for instance, …”

“thing” and its combinations (i.e., “something” “nothing”)

Alternative: “factor” “issue” “aspect”

Tips for Academic Style

5. Avoid these words:

“lots of”

Alternative: “a significant number” “a considerable number”“a considerable amount”

“little/big”

Alternative: “small” “large”

Tips for Academic Style

5. Avoid these words:

“get” phrases, such as “get better” “get worse”.

Alternative: “improve” “deteriorate”

“good/bad” these are too simplistic

Alternative: “positive/negative”

i.e., The changes had several positive aspects.

Tips for Academic Style

6. When writing lists, avoid “etc.” “and so on”.

Instead, insert “and” before the final item in the list.

i.e, Finding employment requires motivation, strong work ethic, and a positive attitude.

Tips for Academic Style

7. Avoid two-word verbs (phrasal verbs) IF there is a suitable synonym.

i.e., “go on”, “bring up”.

“continue”, “raise”

Tips for Academic Style - ExamplesSadly, serious crime like murder is going up.

Serious crime, such as murder, is increasing.

You can’t always trust the numbers in that report.

The figures in that report are not reliable.

The second thing is that most kids in that district will become criminals.

The second factor is that the majority of children in that district may become criminals.

Academic Writing Style – further examples

These examples are taken from: Uni Learning

- http://unilearning.uow.edu.au

Specific Words

Academic Writing Style – further examples

Phrasal verbs

Academic Writing Style – further examples

Specific vocabulary in descriptions

Avoiding “really”, “very”