FUNDAMENTALS OF WRITING

June 2, 2014

Writing Consultations

- Instead of an official make up class, everyone will participate in a one-on-one writing consultation.

- Please check the website for the available time slots.

- Make sure you have prepared questions before coming to the consultation.

A few notes about Problem-Solution writing

1. Make sure that your Situation paragraph provides enough information for the reader to understand the problem.

- State what the problem is.

- Provide details:

- What are the causes of the problem?

- Why did it happen?

- Who does it affect?

- What are the effects of the problem?

- Why is it a problem?

Remember to provide EVIDENCE to support your ideas.

A few notes about Problem-Solution writing

2. In the Solutions section:

- State what the solution is, and provide details about the solution.

-What are the steps that must be taken for the solution to be implemented/for the solution to work?

- Who will be involved?- Timeframe- How?- Where?- Costs?

A few notes about Problem-Solution writing

2. In the Solutions section:

- Evaluate the solution (IMPORTANT!)

- Feasibility: How possible/practical is your solution?

- What are the main advantages? How can it address the problem?

- What are possible issues/disadvantages/objections? Can these be justified, or overcome?

A few notes about Problem-Solution writing

2. In the Solutions section:

Again, use EVIDENCE wherever possible.

Today

Improving writing clarity:

- Pronoun reference errors

- Avoiding nominalization

Pronouns

I, he, she, they, us, them, which…

Terms to keep in mind

Pronoun = a part of language that substitutes for nouns or noun phrases.

i.e., it, she, he, they, mine, yours, we, them…

Antecedent = the word or phrase to which a pronoun refers.

i.e., Debbie told Andrew that she was sick.

Pronouns

I, he, she, they, us, them, which…

- Often, a pronoun’s antecedent is clear.

i.e., James and Jane love golfing. They often go to the golf course together.

John Adams was a great, but misunderstood man. He was greatly influential in early American politics.

However, …

Read these sentencesTo prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.

Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make the best boats.

After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.

At a local restaurant, they provide each table with a bowl of peanuts.

Read these sentencesTo prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.

Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make the best boats.

After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.

At a local restaurant, they provide each table with a bowl of peanuts.

Terms to keep in mind

Pronoun = a part of language that substitutes for nouns or noun phrases.

i.e., it, she, he, they, mine, yours, we, them…

Antecedent = the word or phrase to which a pronoun refers.

i.e., Debbie told Andrew that she was sick.

Pronoun reference errors

When the antecedent in a sentence or paragraph is unclear, the meaning of the sentence or paragraph can be confusing.

This problem negatively affects writing clarity & coherence.

remember, avoid confusing your reader!

Pronoun reference errorsCommon unclear pronoun references:

1. More than one possible antecedent

i.e.,

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

Pronoun reference errors

1. More than one possible antecedent

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

- The children or the thumbs?

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

- Who wasn’t going to get the job? Jack or Frank?

Pronoun reference errors

1. More than one possible antecedent

When the hotel staff mistakenly booked two wedding parties at the same time, neither of the bride's families  would agree to be relocated. The situation was embarrassing for them.  

- Embarrassing for whom? The hotel staff, the families, or the brides?

Fixing pronoun reference errors

There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun.

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

Jack told Frank that Frank wasn’t going to get the job.

Fixing pronoun reference errors

There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

2. Completely revise the sentence.

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

Jack told Frank, “You aren’t going to get the job.”

Fixing pronoun reference errors

There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun.

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

To prevent their children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put their child’s thumb in Tabasco sauce.

Fixing pronoun reference errors

There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

2. Completely revise the sentence.

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Some parents put their child’s thumb in Tabasco sauce to prevent thumb sucking.

Pronoun reference errorsCommon unclear pronoun references:

2. The antecedent is only implied

i.e.,

One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula, causing the rocket to change direction and crash. This was a disaster for the team.

- The use of “this” is what caused the problem.

- Do not use “this” without a clarifying noun afterwards.

i.e., “This mistake was a disaster for the team.” “This change of direction was a disaster for the team.”

Pronoun reference errorsCommon unclear pronoun references:

2. The antecedent is only implied

i.e.,

One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula, causing the rocket to change direction and crash. This was a disaster for the team.

One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula into metric, causing the rocket to change direction and crash. This mistake was a disaster for the team.

Pronoun reference errors

Other tips:

- Be careful with “it”.

“It says on the news that a storm is coming.”

“The news says that a storm is coming.”

Pronoun reference errors

Other tips:

- Make sure there is one clear antecedent for “which”, “this, and “that”

“While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.”

What upset Julia?

Pronoun reference errors

Other tips:

“While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.”

While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor. Scratch marks on the table really upset Julia.

Pronoun reference errors

Other tips:

“While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.”

While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor. Endangering the kittens really upset Julia.

Pronoun reference errors

Other tips:

“While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor, which really upset Julia.”

While juggling the kittens on the kitchen table, Lawrence lost his balance, tripped on the rice cooker, and kicked it on the floor. Breaking the rice cooker really upset Julia.

Pronoun reference errorsI majored in banking, but I don’t want to work in one.

I majored in banking, but I won’t want to work in a bank.

My brother never asks for directions, which really annoys me.

My brother never asks for directions, a habit which really annoys me.

In Tokyo they eat a lot of fish.

People in Tokyo eat a lot of fish.

It says in the paper that the city council will approve the budget.

The paper says that the city council will approve the budget.

• 1. When Frank accidentally walked into the ladies' bathroom, they burst out laughing.

•  •  • 3. When I opened the doors of the pigeon cages, most

of them flew away.

• 7. With my experience caring for my autistic brother, it has prepared me for a job in Special Education.

• 4. It says in our English textbook that pronouns should refer clearly to their antecedents.

•  • 5. At the company where I work, they don't allow smoking

even outside the building.•  • 6. If the test is postponed until Monday, it will give more

time to study.

Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

i.e.,

illustrate illustration

fail failure

react reaction

Nominalization

Turning a verb into a noun.

- We implemented the plan successfully

- The implementation of the plan was successful.

Try to avoid this as much as possible.

Nominalization

The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.

The hope of the student is to earn good grades.

There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.

A ski trip should be planned.

Nominalization

Problems created by nominalization:

- Passive voice

- Unnecessary words

- loss of agent

- use of “be” verbs as main verb

- loss of clarity.

First: Review - Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

People are using less ink because they are using more pencils. (12 words),

First: Review - Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The way the researchers analyzed the data indicates they do not know how to synthesize data. (16 words)