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Birth Order:How It Affects Your Life
Presented by
Annette Pairsh, CFS EducatorPurdue Extension Service, Delaware County
200 W. Main St., Room 202, Muncie, IN 47304765-747-7732 apairsh@purdue.edu
Developed by
Cindy Hartman, CFS/4-H Youth Development EducatorFayette County Extension Office
401 Central Ave., Connersville, IN 47331765-825-8502 hartmacm@purdue.edu
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Which of the following traits fit you best? Remember you may not totally fit in the, category but whichletter fits you best?
A. Perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list-maker, well organized, hard-driving, natural leader,critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesnt like surprises, loves computers.
B. Mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, many friends, a
maverick, secretive, unspoiled.C. Manipulative, charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural
salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate, and loves surprises.
D. Little adult by age 7, very thorough; deliberate; high achiever; self-motivated; fearful; cautious;voracious reader; black and white thinker; uses very," "extremely,or exactly a lot; cant bear to fail; has very high expectations forself; more comfortable with people who are older or younger.
What letter did you pick?If you pickedA you are probably the oldest; B chances are that youare the middle (second born of three children, or possibly third born of
four). IfC seemed to relate best to who you are, its likely that you are thebaby of the family. D describes the only child and why they are differentthan the first born children.
Its important to remember that this is not an exact science manythings can affect birth order traits, like:
Spacing between sibs
Sex of each child in what sequence males and females are born
Physical differences or disabilities
Birth order position of parents first-born parents tend to run amuch different ship than later born
Blended families certain birth orders often get stepped on
Relationship between parents and the parenting style they use as they pass on their personalvalues
Sibling death which, if occur early, can cause the child below to be bumped up to the nextlevel
Adoption may or may not have an effect it depends on how old the child is when adopted.
THE FIRST-BORN CHILD CHARACTERISTICS
Perfectionist, achiever, conscientious, loyal, well organized, reliable, goal-oriented, list-maker,self-sacrificing, critical, conservative, scholarly, believer in authority, serious, self-reliant, people-pleaser, supporter of law and order, and legalistic.
TIPS FOR THE FIRST-BORNTake smaller bites of life, work on saying NO, avoid always demanding perfection, dont
apologize for asking questions, develop a sense of humor, and never apologize for being organ-ized.
Tend to be critical, self-centered, inner rebellion or resentment, often lonely, often feel inferior, verystructured, and same words as describes first-borns, only preceded by the word super.
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CHARACTERISTICS OF THELAST-BORN
Outgoing, absentminded, carefree, affectionate, rebel-lious, temperamental, spoiled, impatient, charmingand personable manipulators.
TIPS FOR THE LAST-BORNAccept responsibility, pick up after yourself, beware ofbeing too independent, use your gifts wisely, share thelimelight, and first-borns may be most the compatiblemates
ONLY CHILD CHARACTERISTICS
Tend to be critical, self-centered, inner rebellion or resentment, often lonely, often feel inferior , verystructured, and same words are used that describe first- born, only preceded by the word super.
TIPS FOR THE ONLY CHILDDont over-commit, plan time for yourself, OK to get along with those either much older or younger
than you, and avoid being self-centered.
MIDDLE-CHILD CHARACTERISTICS
Mediator, avoids conflict, extremely loyal to peer group, has many friends, misunderstood, balanced,gives and takes, and may be opposite of the first born.
TIPS FOR THE MIDDLE BORNUse your natural people-oriented skills, if you are a free spirit use it, people enjoy listeners, dontplay comparison games, and you can be an excellent leader.
BIRTH ORDER AND MARRIAGESWhats Best &Whats Not
For a happy marriage, find someone as opposite from your birth order as possible
First-borns who marry first-borns power struggle
First-borns who marry middle children have the best track record for a lasting marriage
First-born and baby of the family good match; also, opposites attract
Middle plus middle may not communicate well
Middle and baby good track record
Last born and last born could have chaos; money problems because nobody is beingaccountable for paying the bills; who will do the other stuff?
Remember: Marriages are made, not born.
Resource: The Birth Order Book Why You Are the Way You Areby Dr. Kevin Leman, 2004
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