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Which of the following traits fit you best? Remember you may not
totally fit in the, category but whichletter fits you best?
A. Perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list-maker, well
organized, hard-driving, natural leader,critical, serious,
scholarly, logical, doesnt like surprises, loves computers.
B. Mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict,
independent, loyal to peers, many friends, a
maverick, secretive, unspoiled.C. Manipulative, charming, blames
others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural
salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate, and loves
surprises.
D. Little adult by age 7, very thorough; deliberate; high
achiever; self-motivated; fearful; cautious;voracious reader; black
and white thinker; uses very," "extremely,or exactly a lot; cant
bear to fail; has very high expectations forself; more comfortable
with people who are older or younger.
What letter did you pick?If you pickedA you are probably the
oldest; B chances are that youare the middle (second born of three
children, or possibly third born of
four). IfC seemed to relate best to who you are, its likely that
you are thebaby of the family. D describes the only child and why
they are differentthan the first born children.
Its important to remember that this is not an exact science
manythings can affect birth order traits, like:
Spacing between sibs
Sex of each child in what sequence males and females are
born
Physical differences or disabilities
Birth order position of parents first-born parents tend to run
amuch different ship than later born
Blended families certain birth orders often get stepped on
Relationship between parents and the parenting style they use as
they pass on their personalvalues
Sibling death which, if occur early, can cause the child below
to be bumped up to the nextlevel
Adoption may or may not have an effect it depends on how old the
child is when adopted.
THE FIRST-BORN CHILD CHARACTERISTICS
Perfectionist, achiever, conscientious, loyal, well organized,
reliable, goal-oriented, list-maker,self-sacrificing, critical,
conservative, scholarly, believer in authority, serious,
self-reliant, people-pleaser, supporter of law and order, and
legalistic.
TIPS FOR THE FIRST-BORNTake smaller bites of life, work on
saying NO, avoid always demanding perfection, dont
apologize for asking questions, develop a sense of humor, and
never apologize for being organ-ized.
Tend to be critical, self-centered, inner rebellion or
resentment, often lonely, often feel inferior, verystructured, and
same words as describes first-borns, only preceded by the word
super.
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CHARACTERISTICS OF THELAST-BORN
Outgoing, absentminded, carefree, affectionate, rebel-lious,
temperamental, spoiled, impatient, charmingand personable
manipulators.
TIPS FOR THE LAST-BORNAccept responsibility, pick up after
yourself, beware ofbeing too independent, use your gifts wisely,
share thelimelight, and first-borns may be most the
compatiblemates
ONLY CHILD CHARACTERISTICS
Tend to be critical, self-centered, inner rebellion or
resentment, often lonely, often feel inferior , verystructured, and
same words are used that describe first- born, only preceded by the
word super.
TIPS FOR THE ONLY CHILDDont over-commit, plan time for yourself,
OK to get along with those either much older or younger
than you, and avoid being self-centered.
MIDDLE-CHILD CHARACTERISTICS
Mediator, avoids conflict, extremely loyal to peer group, has
many friends, misunderstood, balanced,gives and takes, and may be
opposite of the first born.
TIPS FOR THE MIDDLE BORNUse your natural people-oriented skills,
if you are a free spirit use it, people enjoy listeners, dontplay
comparison games, and you can be an excellent leader.
BIRTH ORDER AND MARRIAGESWhats Best &Whats Not
For a happy marriage, find someone as opposite from your birth
order as possible
First-borns who marry first-borns power struggle
First-borns who marry middle children have the best track record
for a lasting marriage
First-born and baby of the family good match; also, opposites
attract
Middle plus middle may not communicate well
Middle and baby good track record
Last born and last born could have chaos; money problems because
nobody is beingaccountable for paying the bills; who will do the
other stuff?
Remember: Marriages are made, not born.
Resource: The Birth Order Book Why You Are the Way You Areby Dr.
Kevin Leman, 2004
