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A PDF version of my slidedeck for the closing keynote at PHP|tek titled "Chinese Proverbs" and given at PHP|tek Chicago in May 2009. There was no abstract for this talk.
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Chinese Proverbs
terry chay
PHP|tek 2009, Closing Keynote
2009-05-23T11:30-0500
fix bulletsensure quote marksfix builds
How it begins...
look up what the chinese invented first
maybe some images of each
CIO Magazine
WTF is a CIO?
Title of CIO Magazine article
programmatic inefficiency
% of businesstotal loss to
business
Enterprise
Web
10% 1% 0.1%
10% 100% 10%
Rails Developer
Rails DeveloperRails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer Rails Developer
Rails DeveloperRails Developer
Rails DeveloperRails Developer
Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails Developer
Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer Rails DeveloperRails Developer
Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer
Rails Developer
You’re Fired!
not good enough to be good at your job
Problems
The World is Flat
They say if you repeat [Terry Chay]’s name out loud six times before a mirror in a darkened room all your commit messages are replaced with profanity.
—Paul Reinheimer
The World is Flat
Actually it’s the opposite…
The World is Spiky.
If someone tells you that you are one in a billion, there are a thousand people just like you in China
—Ancient Chinese ProverbConfucius 孔夫子 (551 BC – 479 BC)
Our economy in a single word…
The economy
Chinese are scary
feeling of awe
harsh conditions
rain-drenched, sun stroke
15 hours a day tai-chi
no time for pee breaks
outsourcing (New York Times, December 9, 2005)
Zhuangzi 莊子 (4th century BC)
The first person whose job needs to be outsource is the manager that made the outsourcing decision in the first place. Someone in India can make that same decision at a fraction of the price
—Ancient Chinese Proverb
4-Hour WorkWeek
Add graphic for arbitrageAdd quote about what an ahole timothy ferriss is
Rails book
graphic for rails booktraffic graph, them vs. me
Ed Finkler
it’s not about being good enough
The people in the summer games are really good at what they do (all 2008 of them)
the only thing that separates you from them is you
find out how many performers in the games
Opportunity
Web market share
Chris Shiflett story
4 million PHP developers (zend)
40%
60%
PHP Everything else
PHP rock/hard place
Front end: Ajax eliminates templates
Memcache eliminates Database bottleneck (Ahmdahl’s Law)
0.5%
57.1%
28.9%
13.6%
NIST NVD 2006
php applicationsphp applications (remote file inclusion)non-phpphp language
Security
6604 total entries
2803 PHP-application
895 remote file inclusion related (allow_url_fopen)
~33 PHP language related
Tim Bray on PHP…
Whenever I use PHP, I think…
Laozi 老子 (6th century B.C.)
“If you want soul destroying, try working in porn.”
—Ancient Chinese Proverb
Recession = Opportunity
Recession
Churn is the opportunity
We need to create real value
The difference between you and the thousand Chinese just like you is you.
Mythical Man-MonthSoftware as Construction
vs… other models
partionable+training+communicationunpartionable
Make the slide and builds
First consider something like painting a fence: everything is partionable (man-month).
…add a constant time for training.
…add communication cost: n(n-1)/2.
Compare to the unpartionable (single man)
Adding people to a late project makes it later!
Solutions
high-concept, high-touch
Design (Dieter Rams@Braun)
innovated (not copied)
useful (optimize utility)
aesthetic (inspires)
understood (self-explanatory)
unobtrusive (tools, not decorations)
honest (don’t manipulate)
durable (not trendy, no waste)
thorough (to details)
How PHP is different
Scalable
Cheap
Pragmatic
get elephant images
PHP Community (Star War)
Who do you want to be?
“Coding these web apps involves a lot of swearing—a lot of blood, sweat, and swear.”
—terry chay
http://terrychay.com/blog
fuck thsi shit, other quote person
“Fuck this shit”—Sun Tzu 孫子
(722–481 BC)