The Catholic Church – Bearer of Fear or Good News?

While listening to last Sunday’s Gospel and trying to imagine Peter’s predicament as he stepped out from the boat onto the waves I imagined his fear as he faced and realised the full significance of what he was actually doing. My unanswered query over the years is just how far did he actually get before his faith deserted him and he began to sink? In other words, he came so far but was derailed by fear. But he did come so far.

I have always believed having a mentor or spiritual guide is potentially of enormous benefit but when I review my previous experiences I wonder at how much damage can be done by receiving the wrong advice and failing to be more discerning in your choice of mentor. I have also come to the conclusion that the topic of fear is a feature of popularist, armchair modern psychology as counsellors and guides coax or even wrestle you into viewing your difficulties in life through the lense of fear. I am not denying the fact that fear is the antithesis of the gospel message and Jesus’ repeated message is ‘Be not afraid’. I believe fear is destructive and unhealthy especially when it ceases to operate as a guide against what is unhealthy and becomes a driver which leads to despair and hopelessness. After all, world history demonstrates despotic regimes built on atheistic anthropologies reign by fear.

So, there is probably a lot of merit in analysing the impact of fear in one’s life but only with the guidance by an expert counsellor as opposed to the self-styled guru who lacks qualification and, more importantly, accountability.

However, where the Catholic Church is concerned, this kind of counselling or spiritual direction takes on a totally different significance. In the Catholic worldview fear is a major component and can exercise a significant drive for the individual who has been brought up in and practised the faith all his or her life. I believe going to a priest for counselling or even spiritual direction can be exactly the wrong thing to do if someone is vulnerable. For someone born and bred Roman Catholic, the institutional power and significance of a priest can reinforce all the wrong messages. This is especially so for those of us who have worked in the Catholic education system and witnessed how ugly the abuse of this power can be. Of course, you must remain silent and say nothing out of fear for your career! For most catholics they have learned to deal with the elements of the framework constructed on the foundations of fear. Some of these elements can be dismissed as anachronism or so vestigial that they can be quietly disposed of as things we have moved on from as ‘doctrine develops’ or some such excuse. Some catholics are robust enough to place fear in its healthy context and concentrate on the parts of the gospel that are more healthy and even ‘fashionable’ to modern ears such as those which promote forgiveness and healing. These people are unlikely to see the value or gain in employing frameworks such as ‘mortal sin’, the Ten Commandments, ‘hell’ and ‘damnation’ when trying to build and promote, rather than destruct and detract from, the gospel message. Sadly, we are all aware that many catholics deal with fear by leaving the community altogether and dismantling the negative impact of fear for themselves and ‘going it alone’.

So, what exactly do I mean by the church’s preference for fear? Here are some examples that are more or less operative in Catholic Christian’s lives and culture:

1. The focus on sin rather than theodicy (the attempt to reconcile the existence of an all-powerful and loving God with the existence of evil)

2. Emphasis on inherited fallen nature rather than God’s pronouncement that His creation was ‘good’

3. Multiple, pedantic definitions of sin falling into ‘mortal’ and ‘venial’ categories4. The concept of mortal sin which incurs eternal damnation and placing oneself

beyond God’s love and mercy5. Portrayal of the Eucharist as something to be received exclusively for those who are

worthy, i.e. least in need6. The qualification and power of the church to excommunicate (send to hell) a person

under certain conditions7. The cognitive dissonance between God being portrayed as ‘unconditionally loving’

and the Creator of a universe that includes a life of eternal torment. This exists as a feature of the catholic worldview but leaves more questions unanswered rather than answered.

8. The catholic catechism insists on belief in a personal devil rather than a symbol of evil. Failure to live up to the rules leads to ‘mortal sin’ and an eternal life of torment presided over by Satan himself and his entourage of demons (CCC 391 – 395)!

9. The prohibition on the use of artificial birth control was raised to the level of ‘mortal sin’ by pronouncing it as ‘intrinsically evil’. Pope Paul VI determined this despite advice to the contrary and, to add another layer of institutional clout to this pronouncement, Vatican II effectively said a pope can’t possibly get it wrong: ‘The Roman Pontiff, head of the college of bishops, enjoys this infallibility in virtue of his office, when, as supreme pastor and teacher of all the faithful – who confirms his brethren in faith (cf. Lk. 22:32) – he proclaims in an absolute decision a doctrine pertaining to faith and morals’ (Lumen Gentium 25). (Worlds apart from Pope Francis ‘Who am I to judge?’ retort when put on the spot on another ethical matter http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23489702 !) But the recent church consultation on the family indicates most catholics are living in defiance of this and, therefore, committing multiple mortal sins. At least in Switzerland and Germany both surveys found that most respondents rejected or ignored Church teaching on contraception (see, for example, http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/1400479.htm ). Either people practising birth control are exercising the synthesis of intellect and will, with their consciences guided by the Holy Spirit or they are, according to the teaching of Pope Paul VI, committing themselves to eternal torment by multiplying their separation from God and His love and mercy. (Vivid depictions from childhood and adolescence of hell come to mind here.)

10. For those who have the strength to break out of intolerable and abusive marriages the catechism teaches ‘divorce is a grave offence against the natural law’ (CCC 2384). The church has no official guidance to allow priests to formally recognise the predicament of those who in conscience must deal with the facts of their failed or non-existent marriages and move on. The data-driven, bureaucratic tribunal process opens or closes the gate to salvation depending on how successfully the obstacles are circumvented and managed. Modern employment of the Internal Forum has yet to be raised to the status of official church teaching especially where practical and realistic solutions are found rather than victims of failed marriages being required to live celibate lives (where is the official development since Familiaris Consortio of John Paul II 1981). I personally can vouch for the fact that the opportunity for focussing on sin and eternal damnation is still fully available to those good and upstanding catholics who chose to judge, condemn, exclude and destroy people whose lives most need the ministry of healing rather than the gospel of fear (people demonstrate this so readily in writing on social media). People who choose to emphasise the commandment against adultery as if the other nine cease to exist are accepted, approved of and unequivocally welcome to receive communion.

As bishop Geoffrey Robinson said in respect of how God can be portrayed by the church as so angry about our sexual failings:

“I simply do not believe in such a God. Indeed I positively reject such a God.” (http://ncronline.org/news/spirituality/bishop-urges-change-church-teaching-concerning-all-sexual-relationships 16/3/2012)

In the context of my own catholic life and, from a personal point of view, how hard I have tried to be true to it, I can say I have experienced ‘community’ in two very different ways when I have most needed it. While suspended for more than four months last year as all and sundry were invited to pass judgement on my private life in a farcical investigation, passively and patiently watching and waiting in dismay as my employer named and effectively shamed me and my predicament to the press, listening to a one-sided and offensive story about my private life on various social media, almost no one in my parish community referred to, let alone supported me, in my predicament.

… But he did come so far.

Then, while sinking beneath these waves, clergy cast cursory “How are you?” “How’s it going?” comments in my direction at the door after Mass, never really wanting to engage with or listening to the answer and quickly moved on to the next more ‘wholesome’, non-contentious parishioner. No real attempt was made to really find out about me, let alone offer support. I should have been ahead of the crowd ringing a bell as my employer and the media had left me ritually unclean in a deep and persistent sense. However, I have long since realised their fear of getting too involved. Fear of politics. Fear of their bishop who wanted me suspended as he was unhappy to stand by me and face down the gossips. And who would blame them as this bishop’s track record was so inconsistent in how he handled divorce and remarriage in different people’s circumstances across the diocese? Fear of getting involved in a politicised situation similar to one where all too recently they had failed and indicted themselves so catastrophically. Fear in the absence of local policy to implement pastoral care that is so clearly defined in church teaching:

‘Towards Christians who live in this [my] situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptised persons’ (CCC 1651).

This fear overwhelmed and outweighed the ministry of forgiveness and pastoral care that priests around the world offer to people like me whose marriages have broken down. I almost stopped going to church and nearly turned my back on the ‘Eucharistic community’. But I didn’t.

In the end, sometimes, you will never win and a complete relocation is the only option. And having moved away, my partner and I enjoy an experience of community that is so healthy and Christian. Every Sunday the welcome is tangible and genuine. The pastoral ministry of two priests is having a huge impact and repair is well underway. We feel valued as readers but, rather ironically, valued as exactly the people in our predicament who can share with, and support, others who are experiencing the same challenges about being in an ‘irregular

situation’, now spiritually convalescing after giving their all to previous impossible ‘marriages’. At least in so far as going to church is concerned, stepping out onto the waves these days, it feels like fear is rapidly diminishing …

Unfortunately, it is often not from ourselves that we need to be saved but the teachings inherent to the Catholic worldview that prevail to this day. With hindsight, good pastoral care and healthy experience of community I’m no longer willing to entertain and carry the burden of fear generated not by me but by the unhealthy elements of the church and its more inept ambassadors. With true love in my life, a new wonderful parish community and two excellent priests I believe the hopeful and fear - less elements of being Catholic can be enjoyed once again.

Repair is underway.