Marriage models

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGEBACKGROUNDS

ANDPERSPECTIVES

INVARIED SETTINGS

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Material adapted in part from:John, R. Witte, Jr.From Sacrament to Contract: Marriage,

Religion, and Law in the Western Tradition.Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1997

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THE MARRIAGE DECISION

GOOD DECISIONS REQUIRE BOTH INFORMATION AND FORMATION

WHAT AND HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW?

WHO IS YOUR GURU?

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THE MARRIAGE DECISION

WHAT ARE THE CRITERIA?

“A.M.D.G” ---Ignatius of Loyola(“For the greater glory of God.”)“Few people realize how much you have to

know in order to realize how little you know.”--Fr. Walter Ong, S.J.

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MODELS OF MARRIAGE

1. Catholic Sacramental2. Lutheran Social Estate3. Calvinist Covenantal4. Anglican Commonwealth5. Enlightenment Contract

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MODELS OF MARRIAGEINTERACTIVE FACTORS

• THEOLOGICAL• POLITICAL• LEGAL• HISTORICAL • SOCIAL/CULTURAL• PSYCHOLOGICAL• ECONOMIC• GENERATIONAL

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DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1. RELIGIOUS PERSPECTIVE: SACRAMENTAL /SPIRITUAL ROLE IN CHURCH COMMUNITY

2. SOCIAL PERSPECTIVE: ROLE IN WORLDLY COMMUNITY LIFE AND LIVELIHOOD

3. CONTRACTUAL PERSPECTIVE: VOLUNTARY ASSOCIATION SUBJECT TO THE COUPLE AND THEIR PREFERENCES FOR THEIR HOUSEHOLD

4. NATURAL PERSPECTIVE: SHAPED BY THE LAWS OF NATURE

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ANCIENT JEWISH TRADITION

• TRIBAL SOCIETY: WHERE DOES ONE FIT? (not individualistic)

• MEMBERSHIP IN THE COVENANT PEOPLE- RELATIONSHIPS AND DUTIES (Jewish mother as birth certificate)

• LAND DISTRIBUTION AND OWNERSHIP• LEVITICAL PRIESTHOOD-TEMPLE

SACRIFICE8

STAKEHOLDERS IN MARRIAGE

• STATE• LOCAL COMMUNITY• NEIGHBORS• COUPLE• FAMILY• CHILDREN

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TWO MILLENNIA OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE“ It might be instructive to note that family

crises on a comparable scale to those we face today have been faced before….Sexual pathos was prominent at the opening of the second millennium with widespread concubinage, prostitution, voyeurism, polygamy, adultery, fornication, sodomy, wife and child abuse, teenage pregnancy, abortion…[and it]…has returned with equal pungency at the close of this second millennium.” John Witte.

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CATHOLIC SACRAMENTAL MODELEASTERN (GREEK) APPROACH:

MYSTERION: a revelatory event of encounter and meaning that draws one deeper into communion with God and humans.(Cf. Paul Eph 5; “Divine Mysteries”)

WESTERN (LATIN) APPROACH:SACRAMENTUM: an “outward” (sensible) sign of an oath or pledge one has taken that signifies one’s duty or commitment.

(NB: military brand; Tertullian) 11

CATHOLIC SACRAMENTAL MODELWESTERN (LATIN) CHRISTIANITY

• 12TH AND 13TH CENTURIES: Synthesized varied teachings from the past in terms of three themes--

• NATURAL: “Be fruitful and multiply” plus a remedy for lust/sin

• CONTRACTUAL: Mutual Consent of Parties in lifelong relation of love, service, mutual duty

• SACRAMENTAL: The earthly union of the couple symbolized the eternal union of Christ and his Church (Eph 5/21 ff.)

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FORMULATIONS OF CANON LAW

• CHURCH COURTS GOVERNED MARRIAGE FROM 12TH CENTURY ON

• SYSTEMIZED BY COUNCIL OF TRENT (1563)

• PROSCRIBED CONTRACEPTION AND ABORTION

• PROSCRIBED INCEST, POLYGAMY, BESTIALITY, SODOMY

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FORMULATIONS OF CANON LAW

• ENSURED VOLUNTARY CONSENT• ANNULLMENT OF MARRIAGES MADE BY

MISTAKE, DURESS, FRAUD, COERCION• GRANTED HUSBAND AND WIFE EQUAL

CONJUGAL RIGHTS• PROTECTED INDISSOLUBILITY OF BONDS• DISSOLVED INVALID BONDS

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THE ‘RELIGIOUS’ ALTERNATIVE

• A HIGHER CALLING TO ‘RELIGIOUS’ LIFE OF VOWED CELIBACY

• CHURCH OFFICE OPEN ONLY TO VOWED CELIBATES

• POVERTY: Renunciation of booty rights• CHASTITY: Renunciation of inheritance rights• OBEDIENCE: Transfer of fealty to church vs.

family (father or oldest brother)

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WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?

THE GOSPELS

• JESUS WAS CELIBATE

• HIS MOTHER WAS A VIRGIN

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THE GOSPELS

THE AMBIGUITY:– The first of Jesus signs—The Wedding at Cana– The Kingdom of God is like a wedding feast (Mt

22)– The children of this world marry and are given in

marriage, are born and have their own children; but those who are judged worthy of a place in the other world …do not marry nor are they given in marriage (Luke 20)

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THE EPISTLES

• “I arranged for you to marry Christ so that I might give you away as a chaste virgin to this one husband” (2 Cor 11:2)

• “There is something I want to add for the sake of widows and those who are not married: It is a good thing for them to stay as they are, like me, but if they cannot control the sexual urges, they should get married, for it is better to than to be tortured.” (1 Cor 7:8)

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THE EPISTLES

• “The man who sees (to it) that his daughter is married has done a good thing, but the man who keeps his daughter unmarried has done something even better.” (1 Cor 7:38)

• “False teachers say that marriage is forbidden.” (1 Tim 4:3)

• “Marriage is to honored by all, and marriages are to be kept undefiled.” (Heb 13:4)

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THE EPISTLES

• “’For this reason a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mysterion, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. Each one of you should love his wife as himself and the wife should love her husband.” (Eph 5:31-32)

• “Happy are those who are invited to the wedding feast of the Lamb.” (Rev 19:9)

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AUGUSTINE

THE CITY OF GOD (AD 410, the same year Rome was sacked by the Visigoths)

• The city of man is full of violence, death and destruction. (The natural world)

• The city of God (The kingdom of God), is a place of peace, life and creation.(The spiritual world.)

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SECOND HALF OF FIRST MILLENNIUM

• BARBARIAN INVASIONS AND FALL OF ROMAN CIVILIZATION

• RISE OF FEUDALISM• SPREAD OF MONASTICISM---RISE OF CITIESASSERTION OF CHURCH CONTROL OF MARRIAGE

FOR COMPLEX OF REASONSTROUBADORS AND COURTLY LOVE INDIVIDUALISM AND COMMERCE

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FIRST HALF OF SECOND MILLENNIUM

• Black Death• Printing Press• Clerical and monastic marriages• Adultery• Concubinage• Prostitution• Secret Marriages (Romeo and Juliet)• Political Machinations (Machiavelli)

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CATHOLIC SACRAMENTAL• Coalesces in mid-twelfth century• Three-fold Character:

1. NATURAL ASSOCIATION- a) created by God to enable humans to “be

fruitful and multiply”b) To raise children in service and love of Godc) A remedy for lustd) A channel to direct one’s service to

community and church

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CATHOLIC SACRAMENTAL

2. CONTRACTUAL UNIT

a) Formed by mutual consent of the parties

b) Life-long relationship of love, service, devotion

c) Prescribed marital and parental duties

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CATHOLIC SACRAMENTAL3. SACRAMENTAL REALITY-

a) Symbolized the eternal union of Christ and his Church

b) Sanctified the couple, the church and the community

c) Remedy for lust and sind) Considered less commendable than

celibate lifee) Hence, not open to clergy and religious

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LUTHERAN SOCIAL ESTATE• Martin Luther: German Augustinian Monk• Concerned about power and its abuse• Doctrine of Two Kingdoms:

–Earthly Kingdom based in creation and nature–Heavenly Kingdom based in revelation,

grace and redemption(Took hold in Germany, Scandinavia)

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LUTHERAN SOCIAL ESTATE

MARRIAGE IS—• Divinely ordained in creation• Useful for earthly human purposes (nature)• Restrains sex• Enhances public virtue• Raises awareness of sin

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MARRIAGE IS—• NOT SACRAMENTAL• CHURCH HAS NO JURISDICTION• SUBJECT TO THE STATE, CIVIL LAW &COURTS• CHURCH CAN COUNSEL MARRIED PERSONS

TO BE GOOD CITIZENS

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THIS MODEL—• REJECTED CLERICAL CELIBACY• REJECTED ANNULMENTS DUE TO VOWS• IS STRICTLY BETWEEN THE TWO PARTIES• DIVORCE ALLOWED FOR CAUSE• MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE ARE PUBLIC• REQUIRED PARENTAL CONSENT, WITNESSES,

CHURCH REGISTRATION, INSTRUCTION30

CALVINIST COVENANTAL

• Swiss Reformer John Calvin• Took much from Luther but recast it• MARRIAGE IS--

a covenantal association within the community

• THREE PARTIES: 1.GOD (as witness & judge)

2. HUSBAND 3. WIFE

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• Life-long because God is a covenant partner

• Parents’ Consent as God’s reps for children• Two witnesses from the community• Minister- Power of the Word of God• Civil Magistrate- Temporal Power of Sword

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• In creation God established the law of Marriage

• Two Sets of Norms Govern:–CIVIL- duties for all persons; state enforces– SPIRITUAL- duties for Christians; church

persuades– In Geneva, administered by joint committee–Hence, spiritual as well as earthly (natural)

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• SINCE CHURCH, STATE AND COMMUNITY ALL HAD A STAKE—

• THEY CO-OPERATE TO ENSURE –FITNESS OF THOSE SEEKING TO MARRY–RIGHT CONDUCT IN MARRIAGES, FAMILIESHuguenot, Pietist, Puritan, PresbyterianGreat Britain and U.S.

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ANGLICAN COMMONWEALTH

• VIA MEDIA ANGLICANA• Embraced elements of Sacramental (Catholic),

Social Estate (Lutheran) and Covenantal(Calvinist)

• MARRIAGE IS—– A symbol of divine life– A social unit of the earthly kingdom– A solemn covenant between the partners

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• MARRIAGE SERVES THE COMMON GOOD OF–THE COUPLE–THE CHILDREN–THE CHURCH–THE STATE (The Realm, the King &

Commonwealth)36


MARRIAGE IS ESTABLISHED BY GOD AS A“LITTLE COMMONWEALTH” THAT MODELSTHE “GREAT COMMONWEALTH”—

• Respects Traditional HierarchiesHusband Parent Church

King(State) Wife Child Household Church

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• Restored much of Catholic Canon Law• Stressed Parallel Duties for Well-Ordered

World (Britain and English Colonies)• No Dissolution of Commonwealth, therefore

no divorce (Henry VIII not withstanding—the King was subject to the State)

• Gradually accommodated democracy, shifting toward equality, voluntary consent, rights of individuals

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ENLIGHTENMENT CONTRACT

PROPOSED IN 18TH CENTURY ELABORATED IN THE 19TH CENTURY

IMPLEMENTED IN 20TH CENTURY (ESPECIALLY IN US, ENGLAND)

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MARRIAGE IS—

a voluntary, essentially private, bargain struck between two parties who want an intimate association

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MARRIAGE IS—• NOT SET BY GOD, NATURE, STATE, CHURCH,

TRADITION OR COMMUNITY• THE PARTIES THEMSELVES SET THE TERMS• ACCORDING TO LEGAL NORMS that respect

the life, liberty, property, interests of others(NB: John Locke-”Social Contract”)

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PROPONTENTS URGE—• ABOLITION OF PARENTAL CONSENT• ABOLITION OF CHURCH CONSECRATION• ABOLITION OF FORMAL WITNESSES• NO GENDER/SEX DISCRIMINATION

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PROPONENTS URGE—• ABSOLUTE EQUALITY IN PROPERTY RIGHTS

• ABSOLUTE EQUALITY IN CONTRACTS AND COMMERCE

• ABSOLUTE EQUALITY IN WORKPLACE

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PROPONENTS URGE—• STATE JURISDICTION OVER DIVORCE AND

ANNULLMENT• STATE JURISDICATION OVER CARE AND

WELFARE OF CHILDREN• CHILDREN INCIDENTAL TO MARRIAGE• RECOURSE TO STATE BY DISTRESSED PARTIES• STATE SANCTION FOR MARITAL PROBLEMS

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MODELS OF MARRIAGE

“WHAT’S IN YOUR WALLET” (HEAD)WHEN YOU THINK OR TALK ABOUT

MARRIAGE?WHEN YOU HEAR PEOPLE USE THE

WORD “MARRIAGE”, WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?

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Spiritual

Marriage models