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The Exhausted Woman
First Baptist Church of
Windermere Women’s
Conference
Christine Hammond, LMHC
Schedule9:00 – 10:15: Exhaustion Triangle
15 Minute Break
10:30 – 12:00: Internal Sources
30 Minute Lunch
12:30 – 2:00: External Sources
My Exhausting
Week
Exhaustion Triangle
Behavior
ThoughtsFeelings
Painful event occurs
Feel guilty or inadequate:
uncomfortable
Leads to a desire to control: to feel
better
Begin to obsessively think:
behave badly
Others withdraw or back away
Creates confusion and frustration:
leads to pain
Behavior
ThoughtsFeelings
Exhaustion Triangle: Obsessive Thinking
10 Examples of Obsessive
Thinking
Distorted Thinking
“Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about
sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy
Spirit think about things that please the
Spirit.” Romans 8:5
Obsessive Thinking
Overcome
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing
the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for
you, which is good and pleasing and
perfect.” Romans 12:2
•True?T•Helpful?H•Inspiring?I•Necessary?N•Kind?K
Is It..
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your
thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of
praise.” Philippians 4:8
Exhaustion Triangle: Feelings of Guilt/Inadequacy
Behavior
ThoughtsFeelings
Stage Age Important Events Significant Relations
General Characteristics
Virtue Maladaptation
Trust vs. Mistrust Birth – 1 year Feeding Maternal Are my parents trustworthy? Hope Withdraw
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt 1 – 3 years Toilet
Training Paternal Can I do things myself? Will Impulsivity
Initiative vs. Guilt
3 – 6 years Exploration Basic
FamilyAm I good or bad? Purpose Cruelty
Industry vs. Inferiority 6 – 12 years School School Am I
worthless? Competence Apathy
Identity vs. Role Confusion 12 – 18 years Social
Relationships Peer Groups Who am I? Fidelity Radicalism
Intimacy vs. Isolation 18 – 34 years Intimate Relation-ships
Friendships Spouse
Shall I share my life with someone or live alone? Love Promiscuity
Generativity vs. Stagnation 34 – 64 years Work Parenthood Work
Family Will I succeed in life? Care Overextension
Ego Integrity vs. Despair 65 to death Reflection on Life Humankind Have I lived a full life? Wisdom Disdain
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7a NKJV
FalseEvidenceAppearingReal
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity,
but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
Inadequacy
Fear of God’s Light
Fear of Darkness
Stage Age Important Events
Significant Relations
General Characteristics
Virtue Maladapta-tion
Trust vs. Mistrust Birth – 1 year Feeding Maternal Are my parents trustworthy? Hope Withdraw
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt 1 – 3 years Toilet
Training Paternal Can I do things myself? Will Impulsivity
Initiative vs. Guilt 3 – 6 years Exploration Basic Family Am I good or bad? Purpose Cruelty
Industry vs. Inferiority
6 – 12 years School School Am I
worthless? Competence Apathy
Identity vs. Role Confusion 12 – 18 years Social
Relationships Peer Groups Who am I? Fidelity Radicalism
Intimacy vs. Isolation 18 – 34 years Intimate Relationships
Friendships Spouse
Shall I share my life with someone or live alone? Love Promiscuity
Generativity vs. Stagnation 34 – 64 years Work
ParenthoodWorkFamily Will I succeed in life? Care Overextension
Ego Integrity vs. Despair 65 to death Reflection on Life Humankind Have I lived a full life? Wisdom Disdain
Draw any type of tree with things in it and
around it.
Internal: Spiritual Roots
Analyze Your Tree
Are You Spiritually
Dry?
“This is the account of the creation of the heavens and the earth. When
the LORD God made the earth and the heavens, neither wild plants nor grains
were growing on the earth. For the LORD God had not yet sent rain to
water the earth, and there were no people to cultivate the soil. Instead, springs came up from the ground
and watered all the land.” Genesis 2:4-6
Oasis of Elim
Not This…
This…
The Power of a Spring
“The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when
you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Some of you will
rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of
homes.” Isaiah 58:11-12
Real Nourishment
Passive
Absorption
Active Absorp
tion
“Jesus replied, ”‘You must love the LORD your God with all your
heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest
commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the
demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.””
-Matt. 22:37-40
LoveCommandments Grace
10
Com
man
dmen
ts
LOVE
GraceForgiveness
Am I…Loving?
“And he also said, ‘It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—
the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty
I will give freely from the springs of the water of
life.’” -Rev. 21:6
Internal: Unresolved Trauma
Tree
Rings
My Life-Altering Moment
Your Life-Altering Moments
Ways a Person Can Be Abused
“The LORD examines both the righteous and
the wicked. He hates those
who love violence.” Psalms 11:5
“There are six things the LORD hates - no, seven things
he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands
that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a
person who sows discord in a family.” – Prov. 6:16-19
Helping Victims of Abuse
“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would
not be Christ’s servant.” Gal. 1:10
Unrealistic Expectations
“It’s just a walk in the woods.
I’ve always wanted to do
this.” – Michael Hammond
Healing Emotional Wounds
“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy
burdens, and I will give you rest.’”
Matt. 11:28
External: Handling Difficult People
What Makes a Person Difficult?
Normal Traits Abnormal Disorders
Fools…“A wise person
chooses the right road; a fool takes the wrong one. You can identify fools just by the way they walk
down the street!” - Ecc. 10:2-3
Which difficulty do you have little tolerance for?
Narcissists
Narcissistic Spouses
MANAGE YOU…
FIRST
Healthy Boundaries
“Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy.
Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then
turn and attack you.” Matthew 7:6
See Things from their Perspective
“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults
when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has
called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.”
- 1 Peter 3:9
During the Confrontation
“But to you who are willing to listen,
I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.
Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”
- Luke 6:27-28
External: Time Management
Crazy Schedule
Time Matrix
Urgent Not Urgent
Important Crisis Quality Time
Not Important Distractions Time Wasters
“Terrors surround the wicked and trouble them at every step. Hunger depletes their strength, and calamity (crisis) waits for
them to stumble.” -Job 18:11-12
Stable Schedule:
Crisis
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”
- Ecc. 3:1
Stable Schedule:
Quality Time
“I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions
on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the
Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”
-1 Cor. 7:35
Stable Schedule: Distractions
“Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train
yourself to be godly.” – 1 Tim. 4:7
Stable Schedule: Time Wasters
• What has worked?
• How can you improve?
• Where do you need more help?
Questions & Answers
Follow
Christine Hammond, LMHCon Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn.
Find links at www.GrowWithChristine.com. Contact her at LifeWorks Office 407-647-7005.