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Want to give your messages allure? Want your copy to turn readers' heads? Come to this session, and learn how to strip away filler words, peel off the unmentionables, and get down to those bare essentials that keep audiences coming back for more. Marcia Riefer Johnston is the author of "Word Up! How To Write Powerful Sentences and Paragraphs (And Everything You Build From Them)."
Citation preview
Marcia Riefer Johnston@MarciaRJohnston
Teach Your Text to Strip: Take It Off—Take It (Almost) All Off
#InfoDevWorld
A few things about conciseness
your English teacher never taught you.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?Strip
lessons
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What does concise mean (and not mean)?
Why do I care?
How can I write more concisely?Strip
lessons
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld
No headline?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld
No headline?
Nobullets?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld
No headline?
Nobullets? No
verbiage?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld
No headline?
Nobullets? No
verbiage?
Howconcise!
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What does concise not mean?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Short
What does concise not mean?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Short
What does concise not mean?
Why?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Make text, like a skirt, as long as needed.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What does concise mean?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Minimal
What does concise mean?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Minimal
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Minimal
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish your purpose
Minimal
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish your purpose
No more
Minimal
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish your purpose
No more No less
Minimal
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Enough to meet your audiences’ needs
Enough to accomplish your purpose
No more No less
Minimal
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:Lure people
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
No more
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:Lure people
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
No more No less
Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”
My purpose:Lure people
Write Tight(er): A Time-Saving, Pain-Free
Technique for Selling Yourself, Your Company, or
Your Products through Your Words
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Why do I care?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Why do I care?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically higher for the concise version [of the website]—58% better.”
Nielsen Norman Groupwww.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Why do I care?
“Usability was dramatically higher for the concise version [of the website]—58% better.”
Nielsen Norman Groupwww.nngroup.com/articles/how-users-read-on-the-web
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Write Tight (er)
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
This is your toothbrush when it’s new. The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips.
This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace. The blue bristles have turned half white.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
How much $ can you save?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?words6
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?words6
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
You may need a loan.
words6
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
1 sentence, 1 language
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
$ 0.25
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences, 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
$ 0.25
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences, 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
$ 0.25
$ 2,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences, 25 languages
10,000 sentences, 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
$ 0.25
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences, 25 languages
10,000 sentences, 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
You may be needing a loan.
How much $ can you save?
Translation savings:
$ 0.25
$ 2,500.00
$ 62,500.00
You may need a loan.
words6
5 words
1 word
10,000 sentences, 25 languages
10,000 sentences, 1 language
1 sentence, 1 language
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What concise means
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What concise means
Why I care
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
How can I writemore concisely?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
How can I writemore concisely?
How can I teach my text to strip?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Take it (almost) all off,
dahling.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Strip off these words!*
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact that
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjust
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order to
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbial
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particular
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiage
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of time in light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
We takethe rest off in myworkshop.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
be
be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
isbe
be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
isbe
are be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
isbe
am
are be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
isbe
wasam
are be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
isbe
has beenwasam
are be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
isbe
will be
has beenwasam
are be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
isbe will have
been being
will be
has beenwasam
are be-verbs
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
be-verb. Any form of the verb to be—namely, am, are, be, been, being, is, was, and were—whether used as an auxiliary verb or as a main verb.
—Bryan GarnerGarner’s Modern American Usage
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
See be-verbs.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
See be-verbs.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
See be-verbs.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
See be-verbs.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Start seeing be-verbs!
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Examples
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
The fix might not be self-evident.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
The fix might not be self-evident.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
The fix might not be self-evident.
You have to think.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
The fix might not be self-evident.
You have to think.
(Not too painful.)
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“A scheme of which every part promises delight can never be successful.”
—Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Audit logs are proof that no data breach has occurred.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Audit logs are proof that no data breach has occurred.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Our team wants to be predictive.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Our team wants to be predictive.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Our team wants to be predictive.
What does the team
want to do?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Skydiving was fun.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Skydiving was fun.
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Skydiving was fun.
What happened?
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“Write when there is something that you know; and not before; and not too damned much after.”
—Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
www.hemingwayapp.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
www.hemingwayapp.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
www.hemingwayapp.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
www.hemingwayapp.com
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
What it is is…
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“What was found was that access points on maps were not reflective or accurate for where they are.”
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“What was found was that access points on maps were not reflective or accurate for where they are.”
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—
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“ There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things
that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things
we don’t know we don’t know.”(attributed to a one-time US secretary of defense)
We don’t know diddly—except to avoid (most) be-verbs.
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Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright.
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Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright.Gypsy Rose Lee, a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act, also wrote plays.
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WordsGypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright. 19Gypsy Rose Lee, a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act, also wrote plays. 16
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Words
Cost to translate into 1 language
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright. 19 $4.75Gypsy Rose Lee, a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act, also wrote plays. 16 $4.00
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Words
Cost to translate into 1 language 25 lang.
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright. 19 $4.75 $118.75Gypsy Rose Lee, a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act, also wrote plays. 16 $4.00 $100.00
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Words
Cost to translate into 1 language 25 lang.
10,000 sentences
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright. 19 $4.75 $118.75 $1,187,500.00Gypsy Rose Lee, a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act, also wrote plays. 16 $4.00 $100.00 $1,000,000.00
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Words
Cost to translate into 1 language 25 lang.
10,000 sentences
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright. 19 $4.75 $118.75 $1,187,500.00Gypsy Rose Lee, a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act, also wrote plays. 16 $4.00 $100.00 $1,000,000.00
Savings 16% $0.75 $18.75 $187,500.00
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Words
Cost to translate into 1 language 25 lang.
10,000 sentences
Gypsy Rose Lee was a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act. She was also a playwright. 19 $4.75 $118.75 $1,187,500.00Gypsy Rose Lee, a burlesque entertainer famous for her classy, witty striptease act, also wrote plays. 16 $4.00 $100.00 $1,000,000.00
Savings 16% $0.75 $18.75 $187,500.00
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Use be-verbs when they serve a purpose.
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what?
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is
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“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
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“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
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“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content
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“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content ads
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“Content is something you can run an ad alongside of.”
—Nora Ephron, I Remember Nothing
content ads
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See be-verbs.
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Now available
Start seeing be-verbs.HowToWriteEverything.com
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Be-verbs are everywhere. See?
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Be-verbs are everywhere. See?
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Is that a be-verb in your pocket?
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weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, try to, tend to, in order toperiod of timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialdifferent (as in many different, 36 different)particularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch
Strip off these words!**unless you need them
We takethe rest off in myworkshop.
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#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
Adjectives • absolutely certain, absolutely essential, absolutely
guaranteed, completely necessary, totally sure• bald-headed• best ever, first ever• blue in color, few in number, long in duration, nubbly in
texture, round in shape, slovenly in appearance, short in height, slow in speed, small in size, tall in stature
• booked solid• exact same, same exact, same identical• filled to capacity• incredible to believe, visible to the eye, warm to the touch
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Nouns • actual experience, actual fact• added bonus• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning• all-time favorite, all-time record• alternative choice• anonymous stranger• annual anniversary• armed gunman• artificial prosthesis• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life
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Nouns • actual experience, actual fact• added bonus• advance notice, advance planning, advance preview,
advance reservations, advance warning• all-time favorite, all-time record• alternative choice• anonymous stranger• annual anniversary• armed gunman• artificial prosthesis• autobiography of her own life, biography of his life
And that’s justthe a’s.
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Verbs • add an additional• aid and abet, cease and desist, pick and choose• allow you to be able to• always include• ask the question• assemble together, attach together, blend together,
collaborate together, combine together, confer together, connect together, cooperate together, fuse together, gather together, join together, integrate together, meet together, merge together, mingle together, mix together, pool together, share together, splice together
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Odds and Ends
• 6 a.m. in the morning, 10 p.m. in the evening, twelve noon, twelve midnight
• and etc.
• ATM machine, GOP party, GRE exam, HIV virus, ISBN number, LCD display, PIN number, RAM memory, UPC code—and my favorite: Please RSVP
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www.HowToWriteEverything.com/Annals-of-Redundancy-Annals/
More on redundancy …
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Oo-la- la!
Story time
Story time
Water dispenser
Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons
Story time
Water dispenser
Buttons
Quick reference
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#LavaCon @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) HowToWriteEverything.com
Ready for a video?
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Ready for a video?(You’ll have to pretend.)
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
Rick(Smart guy!)
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
GlassRick(Smart guy!)
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
GlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
GlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
GlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
Read again
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
Read again Exasperation
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
Read again Exasperation Try again
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
Read again Exasperation Try again Try again
#LavaCon @MarciaRJohnston Write Tight(er) HowToWriteEverything.com
Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
Dump again
DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
Read again Exasperation Try again Try again
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Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?
Dump again
DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)
Instructions Button Water
Read again Exasperation Try again Try again Try again
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If conciseness doesn’t fix it, change what you’re saying.
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If conciseness doesn’t fix it, change what you’re saying.
Stripping your text doesn’t solve every
problem.
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Now that’s sexy.
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For more on concise writing and much, much more
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For more on concise writing and much, much more
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
For more on concise writing and much, much more
#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
For more on concise writing and much, much more
powerful
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For more on concise writing and much, much more
powerful
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For more on concise writing and much, much more
“I’ve longed for a book on writing to recommend to clients and colleagues … and this is it!”—Kristina Halvorson
powerful
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#InfoDevWorld @MarciaRJohnston Teach Your Text to Strip HowToWriteEverything.com
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I will haunt you.
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Think this is small?
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Think this is small?
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Think this is small?
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Think this is small?
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Think this is small?