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Working With & Leading Difficult People
Chaz Arnett
Juvenile Defender
Baltimore Juvenile Justice Center
Email: [email protected]
Why Is This Important?
• Difficult person may be your boss
• Need to develop a skill or learn a technique that the difficult person has mastered
• Being evaluated for team work done with difficult person
• Can not avoid difficult person
• Needing to increase productivity of a difficult employee you manage/supervise
• Difficult person has access to networks you need to tap into
• Untapped potential in difficult person that could be useful
• Maintaining a low stress work environment
Five Types Of Difficult People
• Ben The Bully
• Negative Natalie
• Lazy Larry
• Udonis the Underminer / Brutus The Backstabber
• Micromanaging Michelle
Ben The Bully
Bully Characteristics
• Prevents others from speaking at meetings or events
• Publicly criticizes coworkers/team members in demeaning and rude ways
• Uses intimidation to either coerce into or block others from work and projects
• Extreme arrogance masking insecurities (Know-it-alls)
• Hyper-competitive behaviors
• Feeds off of being in the control of others
Dealing With Bullies?
• Bullies MUST be confronted in constructive ways
• For challenging public attacks, use humor to poke fun at the bully and cast their mean spirited attempts as silly
• Address the bully privately to express your concerns and fend off any signs of weakness
• Never forfeit control by losing your composure
• Lean on friends and church leaders for advice on how to navigate
• In severe incidents raise issue with management/administration (careful not to be perceived as weak or a whiner)
• In less severe scenarios, or where the bully is your subordinate, seek in-roads with bully by learning more about him/her and what drives them
Negative Natalie
Characteristics of Negative Natalie?
• Pessimistic about work projects and their value
• Unhappy about current status/position at work and in personal life
• Shoots down others’ hopefulness and creativity, and saps other people’s energy
• Self-defeatist nature leads to intended and unintended assaults on leadership/work progress and productivity
• Believes something fundamental, has not been given or has been taken from him/her at work
• Attempts to form disgruntled groups/cliques
Neutralizing Negativity?
• Avoidance only works to a minimal, and silence is acquiescence. To lead, grow, addressing the “Debbie Downer” may be necessary.
• Stepping back and not taking things personally (separate the person from the issue)
• Leverage direction and flow of communications/conversations
• Shift from being reactive to the negative person to being proactive
• Pick your battles wisely and save energy
• Listen. Hear the negative person out, but continually force them to reflect on concrete solutions, instead of simply venting.
Lazy Larry
Characteristics of Lazy Larry
• Avoids tough projects and heavy work assignments
• Does not follow through on scheduled assignments and deadlines
• Never volunteers or assists other coworkers or team members
• May be wrestling with a lack of confidence in being able to take on several tasks
• Does not care about the quality of their work
• Deny ever making commitments that they do not uphold
Motivating Lazy Larry?
• Provide unexpected “shout outs” to the individual for the work they do (affirmation)
• Focus on what assets are available to the person and what can be done, versus focus on what has not been done
• Be more strategic assigning projects, setting deadlines, and providing feedback
• Refuse to be an enabler. Doing extra work to cover for lazy coworker or team member can quickly lead to burnout
• Focus on your own work product and be more aggressive in making sure your boss/supervisor is aware of all the work you are specifically doing if on a team project
Udonis The Underminer / Brutus The Backstabber
Characteristics of the Underminer
• Revels in office or workplace gossip and/or drama, because any and all information is seen as useful ammo
• Self-centered; will always look out for themselves first over the team
• Will never assume accountability for failures/inactions that make you or the team look bad
• Will unabashedly assume credit for other people’s ideas and work
• Refuses to assist others unless it is perceived to benefit the underminer
• Exposes your missteps (or actions characterized as missteps) to management in attempts to make themselves look better
Blocking the Backstabber
• Always cover your tracks and protect yourself from sabotage
• Stay above the fray on office gossip and drama, and never give too much information for others to use
• Ensure that your office “confidant” is truly reliable; or if you can/should even have one
• The backstabber is never openly undermining you. Be sure to identify who may be working against you to be better able to neutralize that person
• Remove the Shield: seeking advice and input from potential underminers even when you do not need it
Micromanaging Michelle
Characteristics of the Micromanager
• Lacks confidence in team and others
• Needs work done in ONE way and ONE way only: THEIR way
• Incessant inspections on work progress
• Re-write/re-do reports and projects to their own specifications
• Stifles creativity and individuality
• Fails to get the most out of her employees by preventing development and growth
Managing Micromanagement
• Be more strategic in getting tasks, assignments, and projects documented in writing, with detail
• Seek out other avenues for additional work from another manager or supervisor
• Be proactive and develop professional growth map/calendar to discuss with manager
• Meeting manager in nonthreatening (less intense environment); after work events; see each other in a different light
• Reflect and evaluate the worth/benefit of experience versus the work environment