Is It Just Me, or Is It Family Dysfunctional?

Written by Andrey Rossin

Every 45 days, free of charge as a part of our

program, our clinical staff creates a 3-day

event that starts Friday at 5 pm and ends

early afternoon on Sunday .This very

powerful event features a CODA/Alanon

speaker, who shares experience, strength,

and hope in terms of his or her recovery

from codependency and co-alcoholism.

Also, alumni who attend the regular Big Book Step Study meeting that our guys go to daily share their

own recovery, which opens parents’ eyes to the condition of alcoholics and addicts before and after

treatment. Among other things, we hope that this provides the clear message that the word No needs to

be learned by not only the addict but by family members as well.

Next day the fun starts with educational sessions, starting with gaining an understanding of the disease

of addiction and then an overview of the 12 steps. The concept of “self will run riot” is explored as an

explanation for the addict’s behavior (and something the co-alcoholics should be aware of in

themselves). Then we talk about what enabling is and how damaging it is not only to the addict but also

to the enabler. The ongoing theme isFrom Victim to Victor—that’s the transformation our clients

undergo. In the afternoon we proceed to the group-therapy sessions, where we look at how the family

has been affected by the addict’s using and drinking and what it is they are now ready to do to move

forward.

We dedicate the final day to encouraging family members to start participating in recovery from their

part in the family disease of addiction. We hope to inspire them to start attending their own meetings

and discover a program of action for themselves. Once it becomes clear that addiction/alcoholism is a

family disease, it should also be apparent that all members are affected in a manner that needs healing.

If the addict continues to grow and the family doesn’t, a gulf will grow between them. Or, the family’s

refusal to change can affect the addict’s recovery in a negative way. Family commitment to recovery is

the goal of the weekend. For most, it’s an eye-opening experience to start the process of growth and

real independence. When you learn how to detach with love you become able to show fierce

compassion, not the deadly codependent “love” that kills.

Very powerful event consists of CODA/Alanon speaker and Alumni share with regular Big Book Step

Study meeting our guys go to daily which opens parents eyes on the alcoholics and addicts before and

after and provides the clear message they hear at Big Book and a glimpse on the word NO they really

don’t know.