5  Secrets  of  Resilience  …and  other  *ps  to  energize  your  

work  and  personal  life  

Agenda  

q Examine  the  research  

q Discuss  the  0ive  secrets  

q Create  a  resilience  plan  

1.  …are  almost  always  positive  &  upbeat.  

2.  …know  how  to  go  it  alone.  3.  …almost  never  give  up.  4.  …tend  to  be  perfectionists.  

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Resilient  people…  

Resilience  is  the  ability  to  bounce  back  from  setbacks,  learn  from  failure,  be  motivated  by  challenges  and  believe  in  your  own  abilities  to  deal  with  the  stress  and  dif0iculties  in  life.    

Karen  Reivich,  PhD  University  of  Pennsylvania  

Andrew  Shatte,  PhD  Phoenix  Life  Academy  

Bene0its  of  Resilience:  �  Increased  sales  �  Improved  customer  service  �  Decreased  employee  turnover  �  Increased  productivity  �  Decreased  rates  of  depression  �  Lower  levels  of  anger  and  blame  �  Increased  appreciation  for  life    �  More  meaningful  interpersonal  relationships    �  Increased  sense  of  personal  strength    �  Changed  priorities  and  life  goals    �  Richer  existential  and  spiritual  life    

Learned  Optimism,  Seligman;  Adaptiv  data;  Demos,  1989;  Kumpfer,  1999;  Reich  &  Zautra,  1981;  Tugade,  Fredrickson,  &  Barrett,  2004  

Recognize  that  our  view  on  a  particular  situation  may  not  be  the  most  accurate.  

The  skill  of  focusing  on  the  positive  –  without  denying  the  negative  –  and  channeling  one’s  energy  toward  what  is  controllable.  

Recognizing  novelty  &  seizing  the  pleasures  &  meaning  they  offer  us.  

Generate  more  positive  emotions  to  help  broaden  your  perspectives  and  boost  your  resourcefulness.  

Reach  out  to  others  to  build  positive,  supportive  relationships.  

5  Secrets  of  Resilience  

Flexibility  Op:mism  

Curiosity  Upli?ing  

Support    

Flexibility  Op:mism  

Curiosity  Upli?ing  

Support    TM

Which  of  these  skills  is  the  MOST  important  when  developing  one’s  resilience?    

POLL  

Flexibility  

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A  brain  teaser…  

What  did  you  say  to  yourself?  How  did  you  feel  while  the  anagrams  came  and  went?  

Were  you  able  to  stay  focused?  

Flexibility  -­‐  ABCDE  q Adversity  –  List  the  facts  (just  the  facts)  of  what  went  wrong.  

q Beliefs  –  Listen  to  the  comments  you  made  about  why  this  happened  &/or  what  will  happen  next.  

q Consequences  –  Write  about  the  emotions  you  experienced  and  what  you  might  have  done,  as  a  result.  

q Dispute  –  Search  for  contrary  evidence.    What  are  the  alternative  explanations?  Argue  with  yourself.  

q Energize  –  What  did  you  learn?  How  do  you  feel,  now?  What  might  you  do  differently,  next  time?  

Flexibility  Op:mism  

Curiosity  Upli?ing  

Support   TM  

Op<mism  

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Op:mists  are…  �  physically  healthier  

�  less  likely  to  suffer  depression  

�  do  better  in  school  

�  are  more  productive  at  work  

�  and  win  more  in  sports  

Source:    Seligman,  Learned  Optimism  

How  can  we  spot  an  optimistic  or  a  pessimist  thinker?    

Op:mis:c  Thinkers  vs.    Pessimis:c  Thinkers  

Three  crucial  dimensions  to  Explanatory  Style  

1. Permanence  vs.  Temporary    (Time)  a)  It’s  never  going  to  change  

2. Pervasiveness  vs.  Speci0ic    (Scope)  b)  It’s  in  every  part  of  my  life  

3. Personalization  vs.  External      (Me  or  Not  Me)  c)  It’s  all  my  fault  

Optimism – What Door Opened?

q  Think  of  at  least  one  time  when  something  very  important  to  you  did  not  turn  out  as  you  had  expected.  

q  Write  about  this  experience.  

q  What  lessons  did  you  learn?  

q  What  “doors”  opened  for  you  because  of  the  adversity?  

q  What  did  you  learn  from  this  checklist?  

Flexibility  Op:mism  

Curiosity  Upli?ing  

Support   TM  

Curiosity  

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Curiosity:    Big  Five  Benefits  �  Health  

�  Intelligence  

�  Meaning  and  Purpose  

�  Social  Relationships  

�  Happiness  

Low  

High  

Anxiety  

Curiosity  -­‐  Body  Scan  �  Find  a  peaceful,  quiet  place  �  Close  your  eyes  �  Pay  attention  to  your  breathing  for  about  5  breaths  

�  Start  at  your  toes  and  pay  attention  to  what  you  feel  

� Work  your  way  up  your  body  &  0inish  at  the  top  of  your  head  

“Twenty  years  from  now  you  will  be  more  disappointed  by  the  things  that  you  didn’t  do  than  by  the  ones  you  did  do.”  –  Mark  Twain  

Flexibility  Op:mism  

Curiosity  Upli?ing  

Support   TM  

Upli?ing    (aka  Posi:ve  Emo:ons)  

Tipping  points:  Individuals  –  ____  Couples  –  ____  Teams  –  ____  

Upli?ing  –  Three  Good  Things  q  Think  about  your  day  

q  Write  down  three  good  things  that  happened  to  you  

q  Then  write:  q  What  does  this  thing  mean  to  you?  q  Why  did  it  happen?  q  How  can  you  get  more  of  this  good  thing?  

q  TIP:  More  detailed  explanations  create  (on  average)  higher  levels  of  positivity  and  happiness  

“Positivity  allows  us  to  consider  points  of  view  that  are  otherwise  hidden  from  view.”      –  Dr.  Barbara  Fredrickson,  Positivity  

"There  can  be  no  rainbow  without  a  cloud  and  a  storm."      -­‐John  H.  Vincent  

Flexibility  Op:mism  

Curiosity  Upli?ing  

Support   TM  

Support  

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Being socially engaged is associated with…

…a lower risk of coronary disease. …catching fewer colds. …getting less infections. …living a longer life.

Support  –  Celebrate  a  Victory!  1.  Listen  for  a  colleague’s  ‘victory.’  

2.  Give  your  full  attention.  

3.  Give  an  ‘active  &  constructive’  response.  �  Ask  questions.  Show  your  curiosity.  �  Re-­‐live  the  moment  with  him/her.  �  Recall  the  hard  work  this  person  put  in  to  get  here.  �  Suggest  a  celebration!  

4.  Repeat  often!  

“Other  people  matter.”  

-­‐  Dr.  Chris  Peterson  

Flexibility  Op:mism  

Curiosity  Upli?ing  

Support   TM  

Which  of  these  skills  is  the  MOST  important  when  developing  one’s  resilience?  

POLL  

“In  the  middle  of  dif0iculty  lies  opportunity.”    -­‐Albert  Einstein    

Thank  you!  Doug@DRH-­‐Group.com