Brandy Vanderheiden MFT SEP

Stress and the Art of Self-Regulation:

The Mind-Body Connection

Experiment: Grounding Exercise

Keeping the nervous system in mind, we find:

Any intervention you try with someone is an experiment to see how their nervous system will respond.

There is no intervention that has universally beneficial results

Findings

As therapists and supporters of the grief process, we are river guides.

It’s a river we’ve been on before, but it’s always changing.

Our job is to be a guide and companion to the person in grief to help them navigate to smoother waters.

The only way out is through

The river needs good boundaries

The guide helps their companion to stay in a “not too much” range

We have tools to get through the challenging parts

How we navigate the somatic experience

It’s best to stay within a manageable range

When we are outside our range,symptoms and management strategies happen

Recovering is faster when we are in range

When we notice symptoms and management strategies, it’s a sign we’re out of our range

If all else fails, reducing input (stimulus) will usually help

Keeping our batteries charged also helps

What that means:

When your battery is low,

What do you do to recharge?

Do you ignore your body’s needs for rest and recovery?

Have symptoms of chronic stress started to inhibit your ability to help?

Experiment with a friend

Step 1: Believing it mattersFocusing on self-care will allow you to help more

peopleThe body will manage chronic stress for a time, but

eventually, it will demand attentionYou are modeling self regulation to others

Step 2: Dedicating yourself to Regular PracticesCultivating self-compassionListening to your bodyBuilding your capacity for enjoyment

Improving Caregiver Self-Care

Somatic Interventions for Grief

Watch for overwhelm and help them come back to a calmer state (flooding and collapse)

Put a helpful hand (their own) on the place that hurts. What happens?

Educate about the body sensations that happen with grief. Sometimes they are what is scary about letting feelings happen. If we let them happen, things might pass more quicklyThe feeling will not last forever

Read Traumaproofing Your Kids (Levine & Kline, 2008)

Build Somatic Awareness into Grief Support

Wave Wisdom:

Grief comes in waves and you can’t always see them coming.

When you’re caught in a wave, it’s best not to resist it.

All waves have a beginning, middle and end.

Wave Wisdom 2:

If the wave is a storm and the storm is too much, it’s good to get out of the water. You may find there’s a friendly boat to help you to shore.

It helps to practice in gentler waters.

Questions

Brandy Vanderheiden MFT SEPOffice in Mountain View650-281-9315www.brandyvanderheiden.com

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