Coping with Cancer:If Cancer is a Gift,

What’s the Return Policy?

Mindy Greenstein, Ph.D.

(and what does it mean to have a good attitude, anyway?)

Coping

There is no one-size fits all model for coping with cancer!

It’s all about pragmatics

What makes you feel better?

What makes you feel worse?

Jewish Telegram

“Start worrying. Details to follow.”

Positives of my Cancer

• New appreciation of the people in my life

• Psycho-oncology education

• Prodded me to write and publish

• Made me less fearful of non-health related issues

• Body improvement

Don’t Forget the Simple Stuff!

– Good friends to listen or distract

– Good conversation

– People you trust who’ve been there and done that

(unless you’d prefer not to know too much)

– Relaxation breathing

– Exercise

– Books, movies, theatre, museums — whatever art forms appeal to you most

– Doing things that are fun

– Doing things that give you a sense of purpose

Different Coping Styles

• Realism vs. Denial of bad outcomes

• Power of Positive Thinking

• Defensive Pessimism

• Humor

Mindfulness and Meaning

Mindfulness

Mindfulness with a Hershey’s kiss

Meaning

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

(quoted in Frankl, Man’s Search

for Meaning)

Meaning

• Feeling connected to the world• Feeling like part of a larger whole• Responsible to that world • Goals and tasks to fulfill• Can bring a sense of fulfillment and

peace

Routes to Meaning

• Work

• Causes you believe in and advocate for

• Creative pursuits

• Beauty

• Relationships

• How we deal with suffering that’s unavoidable

Meaning

• Moments when life has felt particularly meaningful– something that helped get you through a

difficult day,– or a time when you felt most alive.

• Is there a pattern to what experiences have been most meaningful?

• Are they still meaningful?

ChemoWorthy TelevisionCOMEDY

Arrested DevelopmentBlackadder Series (especially 2 and 3)The IT CrowdFreaks and Geeks Jane the VirginBrooklyn Nine Nine Mozart in the Jungle (Amazon Prime instant video)The Office (both British and American versions)WeedsNurse Jackie30 Rock Dr. Horrible's Singalong BlogCoupling (British version)The Larry Sanders ShowLouie

DRAMA

Orphan Black Justified Borgen (Danish)Spiral (French)Deadwood HomelandSrugim (Israeli)EnlightenedThe Top of the Lake True DetectiveDownton AbbeyBattlestar Galactica (2004-2009)The Sopranos Firefly Prime Suspect 1 - 7 (British)Homicide: Life on the StreetsFriday Night Lights

Meaning

“I am a _________.”

Meaning

I am a:

Writer

Wife/Mother

Psychologist

“Tough chick” from Brooklyn

Good shot

Integrating Past, Present, and Future

Goals

Mindfulness

Meaning

Helping Others

Some Resources

Relaxation

The Relaxation Response

by Herbert Benson, M.D.

Morrow, 1975/2000

www.relaxationresponse.org

Some Resources

Mindfulness

The Miracle of Mindfulness, by Thich Nhat Hanh, Translated by Mobi Ho (Beacon, 1999)

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. (Delta, 1990)

Guided Mindfulness Meditation, audio cd by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Smartphone apps for relaxation and mindfulness training.

Some Resources

Psychotherapy Referrals

American Psychosocial Oncology Society (APOS) toll-free helpline:

1-866-276-7443

(1-866-APOS-4-HELP)