HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

~ From Chaos to Serenity ~

Debbie LuxtonChristian Life & Leadership Coach for

BUSY Professional WomenAuthor, Speaker, Teacher

http://debbieluxton.com

1Friday, March 23, 12

What Does a Boundary Look Like?Physical / Visible - easy to see and implement

Intangible / Spiritual - can’t see and harder to implement, but must be just as real

Boundaries Define Us:

What IS you and what is NOT you

Where you END and someone else BEGINS

What you OWN and have RESPONSIBILITY for

We are responsible TO others and FOR ourselves

Boundaries help us keep the GOOD in and the BAD out

2Friday, March 23, 12

Types of Boundaries

Words - most basic boundary setting word is “no”

Physical Distance - removing yourself from a situation

Time - how much you will or won’t give

Emotional Distance - temporary heart protection

3Friday, March 23, 12

Setting BoundariesGather information to be considered before deciding

Requires supportive relationships with God and others

Must be clearly communicated and made visible

Secret boundaries breed resentments

Requires honesty - admit your part

Have a plan for your weaknesses or the ignoring of your boundaries by others

Thoroughly consider your ability to take action

4Friday, March 23, 12

Keep in Mind

It is said that more people suffer from trying to change others than from any other sickness - it’s impossible.

Respect the boundaries of others

Own what is yours and do not own what belongs to someone else

You need an accountability partner

Fear is most often the culprit when people can’t or won’t set boundaries.

5Friday, March 23, 12

Some Boundary MythsGod does not support my setting of boundaries

If I set boundaries, I will hurt others and I will get hurt

Boundaries cause feelings of guilt

When others set boundaries, it injures me

You may be seen as selfish - Not True!

Appropriate boundaries actually increase our ability to care about othersBeing abandoned or attacked by others is a character flaw of theirs; not yours.

6Friday, March 23, 12

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

A requirement of living life with

peace and serenity

Suggested Reading - Boundaries by Dr. John Townsend & Dr. Henry Cloud

They exist for the benefit of you and the other person

Healthy Boundaries are NOT an option!

7Friday, March 23, 12