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Basics of Counselling
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Prof. Lakshman Madurasinghe, PhDProf. Lakshman Madurasinghe, PhDConsultant Psychologist, AttorneyConsultant Psychologist, Attorney
What is Counselling ?What is Counselling ?Why do we need it ?Why do we need it ?
Counselling may be defined Counselling may be defined as as
1.providing help and support 1.providing help and support to a clientto a client
2. creating a climate of 2. creating a climate of acceptanceacceptance
3. Assisting the client3. Assisting the clientto explore, understand and to explore, understand and
act (EUA) act (EUA)
It is a dynamic relationship It is a dynamic relationship between two or more between two or more
persons- A QUANTUM persons- A QUANTUM MODELMODEL
consiliumconsilium….grasp with….grasp with
sellansellan….to sell or deliver….to sell or deliver
counselling is delivered and counselling is delivered and counselee grasps together counselee grasps together
with counsellorwith counsellor
GOALS AND AIMS OF COUNSELLING
To understand the counselee’s current situation.
To understand how he has tried to handle the problem.
To understand his view of the problem……….
To understand his emotional reactions.
To evaluate the total problem.
To help him clarify his life situation
Prof. Edwin Herr….
Hypothesis testing
Triple filter of Integrity
HonestAccountable
Just & Equitable
Herrmann Brain-dominance Herrmann Brain-dominance instrumentinstrument
Left brain- logical thinkersLeft brain- logical thinkersleft brain –limbic- sequential left brain –limbic- sequential
thinkersthinkers
Right brain- holistic thinkersRight brain- holistic thinkersRight-brain-limbic- emotional Right-brain-limbic- emotional
thinkersthinkers
Spect AnalysisSpect AnalysisWhat happens if full brain is not What happens if full brain is not
usedused
What is the reality around What is the reality around us ?us ?
Confucius in AnalectsConfucius in Analectssayssays
Wealth and honour are what Wealth and honour are what every person desires. But if every person desires. But if they have been obtained in they have been obtained in violation of moral principles, violation of moral principles,
they must not be keptthey must not be kept
Socrates in Apology saysSocrates in Apology says
The moral person does not put money or The moral person does not put money or anything above virtueanything above virtue
EastIndiaChina/Japan1000+ BCEEastIndiaChina/Japan1000+ BCEJudaism::Moses 1500-1350 BCE Moses 1500-1350 BCE Hinduism::
2000 BCE 600 BCE2000 BCE 600 BCEZoroastrianism::Zoroaster 628-527 BCEZoroaster 628-527 BCEJainism::Mahavira 599-527 BCEMahavira 599-527 BCE Buddhism::Buddha 563-483Buddha 563-483 BCEBCE
TaoismTaoism::Lao Tse 580-500 BCELao Tse 580-500 BCE
ConfucianismConfucianism::Confucius 551-579 BCE 100 CE Confucius 551-579 BCE 100 CE
Christianity Christianity::Jesus 1-33 CE Jesus 1-33 CE Shinto Shinto::100 CE600 CE100 CE600 CE Islam Islam::
Muhammad 570-636 CE Muhammad 570-636 CE
Shakespeare on RosesShakespeare on Roses
A rose by any other name smells as sweet……..
Mini wars, hostages, hi-jackings, Mini wars, hostages, hi-jackings, hundred other horrors and terrors is hundred other horrors and terrors is
disquieting.disquieting.
Inside society there is societal entropy. Inside society there is societal entropy.
Crimes are escalating. Violence and Crimes are escalating. Violence and vices are spiralingvices are spiraling..
Counselling is not…..
Advice giving
Opinion giving
Sympathizing
Counselling is not…..
Giving practical help
Not simply interviewing
Not simply listening
Skills are gradual not Skills are gradual not sudden , so constant practice sudden , so constant practice
is vitalis vitala few months……a few months……
Psychological approaches to Psychological approaches to CounsellingCounselling
Client Centred- Carl RogersClient Centred- Carl RogersPsychodynamic- FreudPsychodynamic- Freud
Gestalt- Frit PerlsGestalt- Frit PerlsHumanistic- RET-EllisHumanistic- RET-Ellis
Personal Construct- KellyPersonal Construct- KellyBehavioural- Watson, SkinnerBehavioural- Watson, SkinnerTransactional Analysis- BerneTransactional Analysis- Berne
WHAT ARE THE 3 P’SWHAT ARE THE 3 P’S
PremisePremisePersonPersonProcessProcess
PremisePremise
Human interaction is primary Human interaction is primary to lifeto life
1. Interdependence 1. Interdependence2. Independence 2. Independence
PersonPerson
Accept 3 factorsAccept 3 factors1. Recognize importance of 1. Recognize importance of
spiritual valuesspiritual values2. Love others as self2. Love others as self
3. Accept self as human 3. Accept self as human
Counsellor’s qualitiesCounsellor’s qualities
EmpathyEmpathy
Some answersSome answers
Implies riskImplies riskemotional involvementemotional involvement
concernconcernconnection between you and connection between you and
the manthe man
EmpathyEmpathy
To understand someone To understand someone from his point of view, by from his point of view, by sensing and experiencing sensing and experiencing
his feelings and perspectivehis feelings and perspective
Apathy; Empathy, SympathyApathy; Empathy, Sympathy
EmpathyEmpathy
NegotiationNegotiationConflict ManagementConflict ManagementManaging diversityManaging diversityDeveloping others Developing others
Customer needsCustomer needsnetworkingnetworking
Counsellor’s qualitiesCounsellor’s qualities
1. Empathy- Your hurt is my 1. Empathy- Your hurt is my hurthurt
2. Positive regard2. Positive regard3. Genuineness 3. Genuineness 4. Concreteness 4. Concreteness
Counsellor’s qualitiesCounsellor’s qualities
5. Clear thinking5. Clear thinking6. Common sense6. Common sense7. Self awareness 7. Self awareness
8. Warmth8. Warmth
Counsellor’s MotivationCounsellor’s Motivation
Counsellor’s MotivationCounsellor’s Motivation
1. The need for relationships1. The need for relationships
2. The need to control2. The need to control
Counsellor’s MotivationCounsellor’s Motivation
3. The need to rescue 3. The need to rescue
4. The need for information 4. The need for information
Counsellor’s MotivationCounsellor’s Motivation
5. Just fashionable….. 5. Just fashionable…..
Some don’ts in CounsellingSome don’ts in Counselling
Don’t MoralizeDon’t MoralizeDon’t compare with your experienceDon’t compare with your experienceDon’t offer advice on personal and Don’t offer advice on personal and
emotional issuesemotional issuesDon’t tell the client they don’t feel a Don’t tell the client they don’t feel a certain way- of course you are not certain way- of course you are not
depressed…..depressed…..
Counsellor’s RoleCounsellor’s Role
Counsellor’s RoleCounsellor’s Role
1. Being hasty instead of 1. Being hasty instead of deliberatedeliberate
2. Being disrespectful 2. Being disrespectful instead of sympatheticinstead of sympathetic
Counsellor’s RoleCounsellor’s Role
3. Being judgmental instead 3. Being judgmental instead of unbiasedof unbiased
4. Being directive instead of 4. Being directive instead of interpretiveinterpretive
Counsellor’s RoleCounsellor’s Role
5. Emotionally over involved5. Emotionally over involved
6.Artificial- not authentic6.Artificial- not authentic
The Counselee
The Counselee’s rights must be respected
1. Right to speak and be heard2. Right to his/her opinion3. Right to defend him/herself4. Right to personal philosophy
The processThe process
Moving Interviews forwardMoving Interviews forward
3 Stages3 Stages
UnderstandUnderstandExploreExplore
ActAct
Check list of essentialsCheck list of essentials
11. . Why does he need help at this timeWhy does he need help at this time2. What has he already done towards2. What has he already done towards
solving the problemsolving the problem3. What help has he already received3. What help has he already received
Check list of essentialsCheck list of essentials
4. What help does he still need4. What help does he still need5. Spiritual needs5. Spiritual needs6. Plan of action6. Plan of action
Unskilled responses
1. Me too
2. If I were you
3. Yes, but
Active listening is a learned Active listening is a learned skill and not a natural skill and not a natural
attributeattribute
Listening AssessmentListening Assessment
Effective Listening Effective Listening behaviourbehaviour
SOLERSOLER
1. Sitting squarely1. Sitting squarely2. Open position2. Open position
3. Leaning forward3. Leaning forward4. Eye contact4. Eye contact
5. Relaxing5. Relaxing
Check List of listening skills
Be acceptingBe concernedBe patientBe specificBe honestBe faithful
1. Be Accepting1. Be Accepting
Take a non-judgmental stanceTake a non-judgmental stanceAccept him for what he isAccept him for what he is
Accept him for where he isAccept him for where he is
2. Be Concerned2. Be Concerned
Caring and willing to get involvedCaring and willing to get involvedAttentive to what the client saysAttentive to what the client says
Your motivation is loveYour motivation is love
3. Be patient3. Be patient
The client sets the scheduleThe client sets the scheduleGiving time suggests interestGiving time suggests interest
Do not force the paceDo not force the pace
4. Be specific4. Be specific
Ask specific questionsAsk specific questionsGive concrete statementsGive concrete statementsConfront inconsistenciesConfront inconsistencies
5. Be honest5. Be honest
Respond in a way that reflects your Respond in a way that reflects your feelingsfeelings
Your responses are to be congruent Your responses are to be congruent with your feelingswith your feelings
Your responses should be graciousYour responses should be gracious
6. Be faithful6. Be faithful
Absolute confidentialityAbsolute confidentialityRefrain from passing along info given Refrain from passing along info given
by clientby clientAlways keep an appointment with clientAlways keep an appointment with client
The Complete MessageThe Complete MessagePlease fill out the %Please fill out the %
?? % Non Verbal
?? % ?? %Tone
Content
The Complete MessageThe Complete Message
Nonverbal – 55 %Nonverbal – 55 %Tone of voice- 38 %Tone of voice- 38 %Actual words- 7 % !!Actual words- 7 % !!