Unexpected Pregnancy

Signs of Pregnancy Early signs are different for every pregnancy,

but here are some that many may experience; A missed, lighter, or shorter menstrual period Breast tenderness or enlargement Nipple sensitivity Frequent urination Feeling unusually tired Nausea and/or vomiting Feeling bloated Cramps Increased or decreased appetite Feeling more emotional than usual

Ways to find out if you are pregnant

The most simple and easy way to find out if you are pregnant is to take a home pregnancy test This test is easy to use

and is available at any drug store for little money

Family planning clinics, women’s health centers, and medical offices offer urine and blood tests These tests detect the

hormone hCG present in blood and urine during pregnancy

Tips to Avoid Unwanted Pregnancies

Find out if there are other contraceptive methods that are more suited for you

If you are being sexually abused, get help. There is a National Domestic Violence Hotline and a Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network

Learn where to get emergency contraception. You may want to keep a package on hand as a backup. These are available at women’s health clinics, and in pharmacies.

Talk with a counselor at a women’s health or family planning clinic

If you are pregnant, there are a few things you need to do…

The first step is taking the time to adjust to the news and all the emotions that follow This could include talking to your partner, quiet

reflection, talking to close friends or family, counseling, or even writing it down

You then need to decide whether to continue the pregnancy or have an abortion With this you can then decide to carry the child

full term, chose to raise the child yourself, or have the child raised through closed or open adoption or foster care

Common Myths Debunked

A child will not automatically improve your relationship with your partner

Abortion is not more painful than labor Abortion is not more expensive than having a

child Using drugs in the beginning of the pregnancy

does not hurt the fetus Adoption does not necessarily cut you off

completely from your child Men can nurture and love a child the way a

woman can There is financial help for all of the options

Abortion

Abortion is safe and legal in the United States

The safest, easiest, and most affordable time is within the first three months of pregnancy This is calculated from the time of your last

period It is very difficult to have an abortion

after twelve weeks

Interesting Quote

“About half of the pregnancies in women over forty years old are unintended, a higher rate than for all other age groups except teenagers/young women; for these pregnancies, women over forty have the highest rate of abortion of any age group” (page 382)

Parenting

If you chose to keep the baby, parenting today has become easier than ever

Babies are remarkably resilient and adaptable when they have a consistent, emotionally nurturing caretaker and are comfortable, properly fed, and safe

You may chose to parent with the father of the child, or alone It is socially acceptable today to parent on

your own today

Foster Care

Foster care is an option and deals with shared child rearing in extended families and among friends to ensure that as many children as possible has a chance to thrive

System is common throughout the United States and around the world

Goal is to provide you time to resolve your situation This requires you to obtain a lawyer for negotiations for

either informal foster care of the governments formal foster care system

Important to ensure that the guardian can make medical and educational decisions in your absence

This does put yourself at risk for losing your parental rights permanently

Adoption

When choosing open or closed adoption, consider these options: Closed adoptions are now considered

psychologically unhealthy for you and your child

Consider picking an agency that will keep information about you to give to the child and adoptive family if they request it

Also be sure the agency will help you find out about how things are going later on, even if you feel now that you will never want to know

Adoption Continued..

If you choose adoption, it will work easiest if you create a deliberate adoption plan with an adoption counselor and by using a reputable agency A good agency pays for your legal and

counseling services and does not offer you money

It treats you, not the adoptive family, as the client

It is standard practice that you as the birth mother gets to choose the adoptive family from a pool of applicants in order to determine how comfortable you are having them raise your child

Many agencies require the adoptive families to provide yearly updates on the child’s growth to the birth mother

It may be possible to write letters to the child and have them placed on file for his/her future

You can also find adoptive families through a newspaper ad, an independent adoption facilitator, a medical practitioner, or a lawyer

In these circumstances, you create the adoption plan directly with the parents and/or their lawyer

Either way it is advisable to have your own lawyer and counselor

After making your decision;

What ever route you decide, you may experience grief

Grief is normal and it does not mean that you made the wrong decision, but rather that you are feeling a loss

Remember you need support at this time and to be informed before making a decision

Discussion Question

If you were put in the position of having an unwanted pregnancy, what would your feelings be and how would you deal with them?