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A short story in PowerPoint format by UK microfiction specialist David Gaffney
Citation preview
This is a story extracted from my show
Destroy PowerPointWhich was at the Edinburgh
fringe festival in 2009
lette
Look at this Look at this
the sombre dark blue of early PowerPoint its formal executive templates the stuffy board room feel
But Bob overcame that too.But Bob overcame that too.
With the coming of PowerPoint Bob could make words go
Like this
insert comedy clip art, insert comedy clip art,
and everything could be printed and everything could be printed
on transparencies, Bright, shiny and professional.
The day Bob witnessed the The day Bob witnessed the use of a data projector use of a data projector
Tanya thought it would send him over. She found him sitting on his own looking
into space his face pale and morose, his eyes moist. He was holding a sheaf of transparencies,
shuffling through them, and mumbling in a trembling voice.
I’ll never hold a slide in my hand I’ll never hold a slide in my hand again again
over and over.This fact hit him hard Slide presentations for Bob had been tactile,
sensual. He would stand next to the OHP with a
handful of transparencies whizzing them across the screen one by one
But as before, Bob got over it. But as before, Bob got over it.
The king of the overhead projector became.
His
texttransitions
a kaleidoscope of visual ideasa kaleidoscope of visual ideas
sprang from a well within him as if he had been injected with a dazzling
Technicolor drug. He showed Tanya how to usurp the tyranny
of the rectangle
But Bob was leavingBut Bob was leaving
the king of PowerPoint was leaving and his leaving do was that evening.
Tanya had been given the job of preparing his farewell PowerPoint presentation.
She had produced two presentations for Bob.
The first was calledThe first was called
a history of visual aids in the workplace with Bob as its hero
The second was calledThe second was called
Bob’s guide to email flirting.
Tanya was head of ITTanya was head of IT
And enjoyed access to all emails, business and private
The King of Sleaze focussed on Bob’s anxious struggle over his phrasings in a series of emails to a young accountant named Bev.
Whether
To say To compliment To end
HelloHowdy
HiHer blouse
Her shoes
Her legs
Her breasts
With kisses
Without kisses
If kisseshow
Many?
To mention
That the travel lodge
offersa half day rate
Bob’s wife Brenda was Bob’s wife Brenda was coming to the docoming to the do
and would be fascinated by the story about Bev and Bob
because Bev was an accountant at the company Bob was about to join.
The hug queue dispersed,The hug queue dispersed,and it was Tanya’s turn. What special words would Bob dredge up for
her during her hug? Whatever Bob said would help her decide
which presentation to use.
Because Tanya was the only person who understood as deeply as Bob the impact of a well designed PowerPoint presentation.
To find out more go towww.davidgaffney.com