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The un-officialdNYel
Instruction Manual:
To Sha
On her Wedding Day
All sorts of advice on
Marriage and Bliss
NICE
Shahida dear,
Remember to treat one another with kindness. It will take you through the long journey together.
Lots of Love,
Cikgu Kalida
COMMITTED
Love your husband with all his faults and idiosyncrasies, and that includes his family. He comes as a total package – non-refundable and non-replaceable. Remember that you have already checked him out before you decided to love him.
Lucy
STOIC
Dear Sha...Dear Sha...
Congrats on becoming Congrats on becoming “MRS”!“MRS”!
Wishing you bliss in your Wishing you bliss in your married life and married life and remember,remember,
““Tolerance” is the key.Tolerance” is the key.
Love BLohLove BLoh
MEDIATEDMEDIATEDDear Sha, Dear Sha,
Monroe said, “TheMonroe said, “Theonly thing I wearonly thing I wear
between the sheetsbetween the sheetsis Chanel Nis Chanel No.o. 5”… 5”…
Which is by far theWhich is by far thebetter option tobetter option to
Channel 5.Channel 5.MinMin
PECUNIARY
Ah Sha Mie Na…
Never let the Man decide how you should spend your money. They always forget women are the best accountants ever
Ah Heah
DIPLOMATIC
Sha Sha Mei Na…When the Man acts “bimbo” as a means of magnifying his ego, zip up the mouth
and stop talking. They need to know that contrary to their
belief, women DO know how to shut up and when to.
Communication resumes when a pair of Ferragamo appears at the bedside.
Ah Heah again
PROLIFICDear Shah,
Congratulations!
Have a blessed marriage and have lots of kidsssssss!
Love Ivay
ENVIRONMENTAL
Dearest Sheikh & Shah
Wishing you a house full of sunshine,
hearts full of cheer,
love that grows deeper
each day of the year!
Jo
MATHEMATICAL
Dearest Shahida,Dearest Shahida,
Let nothing limit you…Let nothing limit you…
go forth and multiply! :Pgo forth and multiply! :P
CynthiaCynthia
MULTILINGUALDearest Shahida…
“Meilleurs Voeux!”
Never go to bed angry!
Make up, kiss and the rest is history…
Anne V
RESPONSIBLE
Dearest Sha,
Congrats! Have a blissful marriage and don’t bully your mum (do your own laundry)!
Here’s to the little Sheiks & Shahidas!
Amy
CARNALHey Shahida…
Rule No 1:
Finally, licence to have SEX!
Rule No 2:Don’t EXHAUST
yourself on the 1st night… Space out!
Shasila
DOMESTIC
The 4 most important words in ANY marriage… “I’ll do the dishes!”
Elizabeth
COMMON SENSICALCOMMON SENSICALNever attempt the Never attempt the
Kama SutraKama Sutraafter a heavy dinner.after a heavy dinner.
PaulPaul
CLASSICAL
Just Do It.Nike (?)
TACTICAL
Invest in an Arsenal of sexy negligee and initiate sex often.
An anonymous Arsenal fan’s wife
CONFIDENTIAL
Dear Shahida,Dear Shahida,Learn to trust, commit and forgive – that’s Learn to trust, commit and forgive – that’s how my marriage has lasted 3 decades how my marriage has lasted 3 decades and more!and more!One more secret: food for the soul and stomach may do wonders, so start investing in those cookery books!
Kam Chuen
TRAVELOGICAL
Dearest Shahida.
Congratulations on your most memorable & beautiful day.
Your journey begins now and you’ll discover new strengths and possibilities. Togetherness is great.
Julianna
THERAPEUTIC
Be ever cheerful, ever joyful.
Laugh always.
Hwee Teng
MONOCHROMATIC
say Yes to your man,
yEars later he’ll still
Love you
Love you and
hOnour your
voWs.
Anonymous yellow person
GOURMET
Marriage is lik
e a long dinner with a
Marriage is lik
e a long dinner with a
series of courses to
satisfy the vario
us
series of courses to
satisfy the vario
us
appetites. F
or service satisfaction,
appetites. F
or service satisfaction,
think low, don’t a
im too high.
think low, don’t a
im too high.
Anonymous gourm
and
Anonymous gourm
and
COMMUNICATIVE
Men want to hear things like this:1. “You turn me on”2. “I feel really safe when I’m with you”3. “I appreciate the way you handled the
situation”4. “Thank you for working so hard”5. “If only my friends had husbands like you”
Especially in that order!
Kah Lin
PARADOXICAL
Just be submissive and you’ll be EMPOWERED.
Anonymous
Pet owner
PR
OV
ER
BIA
L
Joshua
EPICUREAN
Dear Shahida
Just bear in mind this wise advice from the married women in our Dept:
“The way to a Man’s heart
is through his tummy.”
Gladys
EXISTENTIAL
Dear Sha,
Just one word…
ENJOY!!
Hee Hee…
Anonymous laconic