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English is Funny

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Page 1: English is Funny

is

Page 2: English is Funny

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

No pine or apple in the pineapple

Page 3: English is Funny

English Muffins were notinvented in England

French fries were notinvented in France

Page 4: English is Funny

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

A Guinea Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

Page 5: English is Funny

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing?

If the past tense of “teach” is “taught”, why isn’t the past tense of “preach” “praught” instead of “preached”?

Page 6: English is Funny

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If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

then what the heck does a humanitarian eat?

Page 7: English is Funny

Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?

Park on drivewaysand drive on parkways?

Page 8: English is Funny

How can the weather be hot as hell on one day and cold as hell on another?

Page 9: English is Funny

A house can burn up as it burns down,

and you fill in a form by filling it out

Page 10: English is Funny

When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible

And why is it that when I wind up my watchit starts, but when I wind up this story it ends

Page 11: English is Funny

If the plural of mouse is mice, then why isn’t the plural of house hice?

If the plural of man is always men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

Page 12: English is Funny

If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet, when I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Page 13: English is Funny

If the singular is this, and the plural is these, why shouldn’t the plural of kiss be kese?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet the plural of hat would never be hose.

Page 14: English is Funny

The plural of box is boxes; but why should the plural of ox be oxen and not oxes?

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

Page 15: English is Funny

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,but though we say mother, we never say

methren.

Page 16: English is Funny

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The End

Page 17: English is Funny

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