6/9/15, 3:35 PMCommentary: Goodbye boobs, I’m gonna miss you - The Santa Fe New Mexican: Commentary

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Commentary: Goodbye boobs, I’m gonna miss youBy Jodi McGinnis Porter | Posted: Saturday, August 23, 2014 7:00 pm

Dear Boobs,

It’s time to say goodbye. I’m going to miss you, and I’msorry that I didn’t fully appreciate your existence untilnow, when it is time for us to go our separate ways.

I want to thank you for the time you got me into thatexclusive club in L.A. when there was a line out the door,and for all the free drinks over the years.

Thank you for the boyfriends you’ve blessed me with,especially the jocks on stud row at Santa Fe High whoprobably wouldn’t have given me the time of day if itweren’t for your existence.

Thanks for the nourishment you provided my children andfor the incredible bonding experience that came withbreastfeeding. Thanks to you, my boys received naturalmilk, and all the antibodies you produced helped themgrow into strong and healthy men.

Thank you for making me feel like a woman who is sexy and for cleavage that made it difficult for mento look me in the eyes when I showed you off. Thanks for filling out sweaters in the winter, tank tops inthe summer and for complementing my hips. Thanks to you, I’ve enjoyed an hourglass figure and havebeen compared to actresses like Rachel Welch and Ursula Andress. Wow!

Oh, and nipples, thank you for always letting me know when it’s cold outside and for the deliciouspleasures you’ve provided to me during intimate moments. I’ll have to memorize that in my mind, and Ihope to conjure up that memory for the future.

Thanks for always catching the red chile stains on a white blouse, the times you’ve caught popcorn at themovies, saving me from losing an earring or two, for stashing my cash, credit card and cellphone when Ididn’t want to carry a purse.

Thanks for being the best fashion accessory in my wardrobe. Thanks to you, it didn’t matter if I wore a

Commentary: Goodbye boobs,I’m gonna miss you

Jodi McGinnis Porter

6/9/15, 3:35 PMCommentary: Goodbye boobs, I’m gonna miss you - The Santa Fe New Mexican: Commentary

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necklace or not, because you could easily peek out of any outfit. You always filled out every dress toperfection, albeit sometimes too much. I’m sorry that I took it for granted.

Thanks, too, for being soft, squishy and a great pillow for my loved ones over the years.

Women pay good money for double Ds like you, and I was blessed with your sudden arrival in 1975. Youchanged my life, and I really want to thank you for growing in, because all I wanted on my 10th birthdaywas a training bra.

We’ve definitely had our ups and downs, and I would be remiss not to mention a few of the challengesyou’ve put me through.

The first one I remember goes back to your arrival. You showed up unannounced over the summer inbetween ninth and 10th grades. It was about the same time magazine started advertisingthe Mark Eden Bustline Developer. Their ads always showed a well-endowed woman with a before andafter picture and a tagline quoting her as saying, “I’ve increased my Bustline Measurement from a 34’ toa full 39’ in just eight weeks.” I started Santa Fe High as a sophomore with a new nickname, “MarkEden,” thanks to you.

Cosmopolitan

As a freshman at Mid-High, I ran track and anchored the mile relay. Unfortunately, you slowed me down,and as my track career advanced, I was forced to become a long-distance runner. Sadly, you arrivedbefore sports bras existed and I had to wear two bras just to keep you from bouncing all over the placewhen I ran or played sports. I could go on with more of the challenges we’ve had, but instead I choose toremember the good times.

I’m going to throw you a goodbye party before we part and combine it with my birthday next month. I’llhave pink boob cupcakes in your honor and proudly display your natural cleavage one last time beforethe double mastectomy. We’ve had a good run, but it’s time to say goodbye, and you’re going to beeventually replaced with smaller implants, perhaps a C or a single D cup. On the bright side, I always didwish you were just a bit smaller.

Former city of Santa Fe spokeswoman Jodi McGinnis Porter was diagnosed with breast cancer in July.She hopes that her story will prompt other women to get regular mammograms, benefit from earlydetection and increase breast cancer awareness. For more information about early detection visit:www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/moreinformation/breastcancerearlydetection/breast-cancer-early-detection-toc