Clitheroe: A BaRKCRound Three: Lariel

our Divine Majesty, with all due respect, I don’t have time to write everything about my week down this round. You would not believe how frustrating it is to run both a store and raise young children at the same time. If it weren’t for all the luck I’ve had this round, I’d be in the grave already!

But I don’t want to incur your wrath by missing a round, so here I am, with writer’s cramp and a sore back and feeling like I’m going to drop off over the top of this journal, keeping the law for you. I hope you find this record enlightening for all the difficulty it took in keeping.

“Bath time for baby! Hello to you too, sweetheart!”

“Good morning, Imelda!” my husband said brightly (and loudly) very early Monday morning. He was giving our daughter, Shannath, a bath in the kitchen sink.

“Morning, Connor,” I replied, and yawned. “Ready to go to the Bobbin today?”

“Sure am.” He pulled Shannath out of the sink and wrapped her in a tiny towel, which she balled up in her tiny fists and tried to pull off. Cute little rebel, that one.

Itching though I was to get back to work, I was simply too tired and hungry from being pregnant with Shannath to make it into the store. In the end, I stayed home to watch the baby, and Connor went in to run the Bobbin by himself.

He was pleasantly surprised to meet King Ryan there, Your Divine Majesty. We are humbled by your and your family’s royal patronage.

The king even deigned to stay and talk with Connor a while after he was finished buying his clothes.

“League of Red-Headed Men UNITE!!”

“Boo-YEAH!!”

“Derp.”

“I see being king hasn’t changed you at all,” Connor laughed. I sincerely apologize for his rudeness, Your Divine Majesty.

“You’re a good friend, Connor,” King Ryan thankfully and graciously replied. “You know, I’ve been thinking about starting up a legit League of Red-Headed Men, not just joking about it.”

“Do it,” Connor said. “I’m in!”

“Well, normally I would. You know I would, Con. It’s just that, well, my wife’s been awfully tired today. I think she might be pregnant, and you know what that means. I’m not going to have time for much of anything but staying home with the family for a little while, you know what I mean?”

R.A. That rascal. He suspected this early? He didn’t tell me!

“Queen Keika is pregnant?” I asked when he got home that evening, quickly calculating the age differences between Shannath and the soon-to-be royal baby.

“At least Ryan thinks so, and who would know better than him?” Connor took another bite of his dinner.

“King Ryan, dear,” I reminded him absently, still distracted by math.

Deciding I could eat, I picked up a plate of salad myself. On the way past Connor back to my chair, I said, “With any luck, the royal baby will be a prince. Shannath is just about the right age to marry him in a few rounds.”

“Mm-hmm,” Connor garbled, munching down on his food.

It turned out the following morning, though, that House Lariel would have multiple chances to marry into the royal family.

“Was that a pop I just heard, dearest?” Connor asked from his bubble bath.

“But… we already have our heir,” I said, confused. “We don’t need another child. Why…? How…?”

“I know how,” Connor said dryly. I walked over and splashed him in the face with his own bathwater.

The following evening, it was time to celebrate Shannath’s first birthday, and she is just about the most adorable child ever. She could melt your heart by looking at you. Although all those chirping sounds were rather distracting.

Yes, Shannath is the sweetest child to live. She reminds me of someone, but I can’t quite place a finger on who.

Those chirping sounds during my daughter’s birthday turned out to be this: a penguin getting excited over a mound of snow Connor had built outside the kitchen window. The world is a strange, strange place.

R.A. Correction. The world is a perfectly-crafted, AWESOME place!

Connor did good work getting our baby angel trained up. He was happy to do it, too, which made my life easier.

Shannath was just a toddler, and I had just had my second pregnancy pop a few hours before, when word reached us through the town crier that the royal child had been born.

Your Divine Majesty, allow me to be the first to congratulate you on the birth of the princess. May Princess Anduera live a long, healthy, and happy life.

R.A. Thanks, Imelda. The same to Shannath and your new baby, too.

Connor went in to work the Silver Bobbin again that morning while I embarrassingly stayed home to sleep and care for Shannath. He’s been doing well at it, too, earning loyalty stars and talent badges for both sales and register hand over fist.

I swear, the moment I’m back on my feet, I’m going to run that store all the way up to rank ten myself!

Back home, Shannath was, pleasingly, enchanted with the talking bunny head that was the only toy we could fit in our tiny home for her. She spends most of her days in that corner, repeating the animal sounds it makes. Quite frankly, it’s amusing to hear her try to moo like a cow.

My pregnancy finally, blissfully, came to an end Thursday morning.

I bore a son, who I have named Galain. A son, who raises some interesting possibilities for the future of the Lariel family.

Perhaps a union between Galain and the young Princess Anduera could be in the future?

Speaking of this tiny house, Connor and I decided it was well time to rebuild. Now that we have two tiny children, we don’t really fit in our one-bedroom home anymore.

We didn’t have the funds at the time to build an estate worthy of being seen near your majesty’s palace, but we did what we could. At least it better fit the architecture of Clitheroe, and we had a little more room to breathe.

We even have a table now!

The house is still tiny, though. What I really need to do is find a way to exploit the Bobbin to give us more funds to work with. Queen Keika clearly found a way to do so with the Royal Pokerhouse—excuse me, it’s called Queensgold now, isn’t it? Perhaps Your Divine Majesty would share some business advice with your humble servant?

R.A. Haha, no.

Shannath has her father wrapped around her little finger. She’s certainly a daddy’s girl. She always goes to Connor for attention or bottles or anything she needs or wants. Sometimes she toddles into our room to wake him up for something when I am in fact in the same room with her.

I don’t mind. Really. Gives me more time to work on devising a new strategy for the Bobbin. I’m fine with this.

Shannath and Galain shared a birthday this round. Unfortunately, we don’t have the money to throw at cakes every birthday, so only Galain got one for his special toddler birthday. For Shannath, we just had to meet in the nursery and watch her transition there.

Luckily, she picked a good transition outfit. We can’t shop at our own store, after all, and currently the Bobbin is the only clothing store in all of Clitheroe. It’s nice that we have no competition, but it’s disadvantageous for birthdays.

Connor did the honors for Galain.

He’s a sweet child, though we never anticipated he would be bald!

“Connor,” I said early the following morning, “thank you for watching the store while I’ve been down so long.”

“It wasn’t any trouble, Imelda, you know that,” Connor replied as he tucked the blanket into place. “I just wish I’d been here more often to take care of you when you were pregnant.”

“Great,” I said cheerfully, recognizing my in. “Then you wouldn’t mind staying home and watching the kids while I go in today, would you?”

“Of course not. The house is my arena, anyway. I’d much rather be home with Shan and Galain. I’m a lot better with kids than money.”

“And I’d rather be out working,” I said, relieved. “We’re in accord, then?”

“The accordest of accords.” He smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

Connor tells me the children played quietly together the whole time I was gone. He sat in on them for the first little while, then went to work on sewing and just checked in once in a while. I’m so glad the kids get along so well.

“Gal, you’re doing that wrong. Here, let me show you how to do it.”

Connor took the initiative to double the stock we have for sale at the Silver Bobbin during his tenure there. I was impressed, though also, I admit, a little perturbed. The Bobbin is my project, after all.

One of my customers gave me this strange award. He promised it was highly prestigious and that it would pull more townies in through the doors, but quite frankly, I doubt it. On what authority does he give out this award? If it were from the queen, that would be something, but it’s clearly not.

Still, I display it anyway. It can’t hurt.

When I closed the store that night, I found a check for $50,000 waiting for me, addressed from Queen Keika herself, with a note congratulating me on the Silver Bobbin reaching rank five. I am humbled, your majesty. I hope you like what I used the money for.

R.A. I do. Nice job. It makes for a much better view out of my window, for sure.

The next morning, I got my children and husband out of bed bright and early, and moved everyone out to the sidewalk so the builders could work their magic.

I had to scold my daughter that morning. “Shannath!” I shouted. “What kind of hooligan are you? Get down off that bed! You’ll break it!”

“Aw, Mom…” she whined.

“Young ladies should have poise and grace, not a bed with broken springs! Down! Now!”

It’s amazing what a little grant from the crown can do.

This manor house (or so I like to call it),

R.A. For good reason, I think.

is not even halfway furnished. However, all the necessary furniture is placed, all rooms are lit, floored, and wallpapered, and the outside is magnificent. Once the manor is filled, I look forward to getting some landscaping done, too.

Shannath had only gotten a few hours of sleep the previous night, so she jumped right into her new bed first thing. I had to explain to her how slothful it is to sleep past noon when she woke up, but the dear girl really did have an excuse.

Unfortunately, renovations reduced our funds down to an agitating $5, which meant the only thing to do was walk across the street and reopen the Bobbin one more time before the end of the round. After all, taxes have to be paid, and I wouldn’t mind having a buffer afterwards.

Your Divine Majesty, it was a pleasure to see you and the young Princess Anduera at my humble store that evening. It was so good to meet the princess and see that you’re both doing so well. But may I ask, what were you talking so long with Dienda Renaisse about?

R.A. Thanks for the well-wishes, but that’s kind of for me to know. Keep up the “Divine Majesty” stuff, though.

I successfully made up enough money to pay the royal taxes for the round, and after I’d gotten home and taken a nap, Connor was waiting for some romantic private time. We’d both been dying for a date all round, and this felt very well deserved. Pajamas and all.

Which brings us to the present, your majesty. I am exhausted from running after two children and the Bobbin all week, but it is a pleasant exhaustion of work well done. I complained quite a bit at the beginning of this round’s record, but in retrospect, I may have been a little harsh with my words. It really wasn’t all that bad.

Still, the writer’s cramp is painful. Signed,

End of the Lariel record of Round Three.