Chapter 12 – Curse? What Curse?

HOW many Legacies are you married to Flavius in now, PB? Three? Five? Seven? Well... you can add this one to your collection, too! Oh... everyone else! Welcome back to A Piratical Legacy! You know you missed me. Before we dive into everything, PB = Professor Butters. She writes the Squeaky Clean Legacy. Flavius Marius is a creation of Blite27, who writes the Ten Caesars Legacy. PB also wrote a crossover Bachelor Challenge featuring the child of her Simself and Flavius. In the background you can see Marina, aka smoothiequeen87, cheering on the festivities. She writes the Fitzhugh Legacy and just finished a Bachelor challenge of her own. I would like to say right now that I lost both bachelor challenges. Apparently I just wasn't interested. Ahem. Anyway, onward!

Roche, what are you doing? "Well, goddess, in the last chapter I found out that our family has been cursed and I wanted to look up what a curse is. I don't know." A curse is a bad thing, Roche. It means bad things are going to happen to your family until you find out how to stop it. "Oh no!"

A curse is threatening my beloved pirates and I'm busy clothes shopping? You know, sometimes I forget there's a time and a place for everything...

Ehh... so does Ivy, though. Looks like the threat of impending doom isn't stopping her from trying to expand her harem. "One can never have too large of a harem. Impending doom will just have to make an appointment."

That's as may be, Ivy, but honestly... "What? We like Armando Cox. We're thinking of asking him to audition." As long as I don't have to watch.

"We really think you should reconsider our brother's offer of a position in his Syndicate, Drusus Nero." "Listen, lady, I don't need any counterfeit pearls, okay?" "How about auditioning for our harem, then?" "Ehh... I'll think about it."

Sometime later, Drusus had apparently thought about it quite long enough. Drusus Nero is another Roman from the Ten Caesars Legacy.

I take it he passed? "Yes, we are VERY pleased. This one gets a place of honour in the Royal Bedroom."

... ... I sure hope you sent Drusus home before you auditioned Armando Cox. "We did."

Meanwhile, back at Legacy Manor... "Hey Roche, I heard we're all under a horrible curse!" "That's what the ghosts told me, Bart. And the goddess said that means bad things are going to happen to us!" "That's stinky. Hey, want to see me do a headstand?" "Sure! I wanna show you my trick too!"

"Great headstand, Bart! But look at me! I can flyyyyyyy!" Roche, get down from that tree before you hurt yourself. "Awww..." And that's a very nice headstand, Bart. "Thanks goddess."

"We hope this satisfies Grandpa Jack. Now, can we become a goddess like you promised us last chapter?" *sigh* Yes. But I wish you'd stay in the Adventurer career. It's so fitting for this family. "We want to be worshipped."

"Stupid curse. Work faster!" What, disappointed because Ivy's having no problems attracting lovers and promotions, Anthony? "Yes! That's not the main part of the curse but there SHOULD be some spillover." You realize the family is going to defeat the curse. "You can't know that for sure, goddess. And we'll see who's laughing when it's time to produce generation five, shall we?" Bleh. Go haunt a lamp.

"Armando, we want to congratulate you on becoming our Chief Concubine." Another one, Ivy? I thought you wanted to wait til they stopped dying! "Wait, there have been other concubines?" "Well, yes. And they have all died mysterious deaths just like our first two husbands. But we're sure you'll be safe, Armando." "Uhh... am I allowed to change my mind, highness?" "No."

"And this is your bedroom, Armando. When we need you we'll summon you to our bedroom." "Boy, the walls sure are red, highness. Kind of like blood." "We think you're being ridiculous, Armando. Nothing bad is going to happen. We're certain of it."

Uhh... y'know, the forecast called for falling Satellites, Armando. Better not look up at the stars for too long if you want to live. Actually, you'd best stay inside. Actually, you'd best move out as soon as possible. "You aren't exactly helping, goddess." Sorry.

"Arr! Don't ye be wavin' that camera in me face when I be in naught but me underthings, savvy?" Then put on some clothes!

"I can't! I be makin' pancakes. Arr!" "And we are trying to make omelettes!" "I can't reach the stove!" "We can't reach the stove either!" Sometimes sims are so stupid.

"Hiya Shannon! Hey, did you hear there's a new detective in town?" "Yeah, I heard his name's Sim Spade and he's from the big city and all, Alan." "You think we should hire him and finally solve the counterfeit pearl case, Shannon?" "I think that would be a good idea, Alan. I really do." "Great! Just let me get changed-- wait, Ivy's latest concubine! Don't pick up the scissors!"

"Aaaah! I never knew running with scissors could be so dangerous!"

"Armando! We should have waited until the mystery of our dead concubines and husbands was solved. This is all our fault! But how could we know!"

"I'M STARTING TO THINK I SHOULD START A POINTS CARD JUST FOR THIS FAMILY."

"Well, that's about done it, Shannon. I can't seem to cast without falling on my keester today... so let's head over to that detective's office." "Sounds like a good plan, Alan."

"Hiya Daddy!" "Hey there, Bart! How was your day today?" "Oh, good. Professor Butters let me redo my assignment with you as my daddy. She said that adopted parents are real parents just the same. But I still want to find my birth father. Maybe when I'm a bit older." "That sounds like a good idea, Bart. I'll even help you." "Thanks, daddy! Oh, and I almost forgot. Another harem member died on the lawn." "Hehe, you're so silly, Bart."

Back from the detective's office already, Shannon? "It didn't take long to lay out the facts, goddess." Well, that's good. Errr... what are you doing with Captain Jack? "He said he had to tell you and the family something, goddess." Oh brother. Well, go ahead. I'm listening. "It's about time, aye? Listen, goddess, the death o' me

granddaughter's latest paramour wasn't part o' her regular string of bad luck, aye? This one ... was part o' the Curse. Savvy?" Are you sure about that, Captain Jack? "Did ye put the scissors on the lot, mate?" Well... no.... "Then ye get what I be sayin', love. The Curse did it!"

I attempted to tell the legacy family about the latest manifestation of "the Curse," as Captain Jack insisted on putting it (as portentiously as possible), but Mary was busy getting a Garden Club inspection.

Obviously, the members were very pleased. I love the wishing well. It looks absolutely fantastic in game.

Roche? Why are you reading the newspaper? "I like keeping abreast of current issues, goddess." But you're eight years old! "One can never be too young to be informed about current events. Besides, Uncle Jack wrote most of the articles." I'm sure he did. Still... Mary!

"Aye?" Encourage your grandson to be playful, will you? "Arr! I thought ye'd never ask!" Mary was able to encourage Roche from three playful points all the way up to six. Maybe we can have tub pirates again!

... Ivy, creeping out your deity is NOT the way to get ahead in life.

"What, we're just going to bed!"

Well, at least you ended up in the right place... still, I'm worried that you're going to have to move. "Zzzzzz..."

And Alan couldn't resist being the first family member to try out the new wishing well. What are you wishing for, Alan? "Lots of friends, goddess!"

"It worked!" That it did, Alan. Now, greet those three random freaky geezer acquaintances and best friend them. "You don't have to tell me twice, goddess. I'm a Popularity sim, remember?" Most bizarrely, the Ancient Goth in front bears a striking resemblance to one of my husband's groomsmen... just about sixty years older. It's unnerving.

Uhh... Wedge... I don't think that's the best way to play with that particular bear. "Geez, goddess, you don't expect me to believe that whole thing about Grandpa Jack haunting the bears, do you?" Actually, yes I do. "Me ears! Me dreads! Me patch! Me hat! Wait... I don't got a hat. Where's me bleedin' hat?"

Fortunately for Wedge, his cousin Bart was able to explain things a little more succinctly. "It's really true, Wedge. I've even talked to Grandpa Jack myself." "Really? What did he say?" "That he'll get really really really mad if anyone beats him up!" "Eep! I didn't mean it!"

"Arrrr... don't ye listen to yer mother, boy?" "Aaaaaaah! I'm going home!" "Goddess, my cousin is a wuss." Well, look at it this way, Bart. You're kind of used to ghosts and such. Your cousin really, really isn't. There's no ghosts at all at his house. "Boy, his house sounds boring."

Wow... those oranges look mouthwatering, Mary! "Arr! They be ripe, goddess. Now can I sleep fer once instead of using that blasted Energizer over and over?"

"I heard that you hired a detective to get to the bottom of things with the Syndicate, Alan." "Yep, you heard right, Pao! But, uh, who told you that?" "Oh, just Jack." "Oh, that's all right then. As long as the Syndicate doesn't find out until that detective has taken the case, everything will end happily." "I'm sure it'll all come out for the best, Alan."

"Come on in, De. The party's about to start!" Party? Who gets a party, Pao? "Oh, it's just Bart's birthday." Cool! De, aka fireflower314, writes the Morgan Legacy.

Jack also came to the party, along with a few others. "Hey boss, thanks for coming." "Pao, dear brother, how many times do I have to remind you not to call me that when there is even the remotest chance that my wonderful father might overhear the conversation?" "Uhh... probably half a dozen times more, bro." "That is what I was afraid of, dear brother."

Pao chose that moment to give Jack something of a jolting welcome while De watched. Uhh... Pao, are you sure that's the smartest thing in the world to do to a crime lord?

... I stand corrected.

"Everyone, look at me! It's my birthday! I'm blowing out the candles now!" We're all watching, Bart. "I wish... that Pao was my real daddy." Aww... you should tell him that, Bart. "I will. Later. Now... I'm blowing them out!"

And... not too bad! Disturbing lack of upper lip, but I think a makeover will have Bart looking pretty cute. He rolled Family, which is so appropriate considering what's driving him is the desire to find out about his roots. His LTW is to top the Education career. I haven't done that one yet.

See? Not bad. Not bad at all... Bart, you're positively cute. "Yeah, yeah... now that I'm bigger and stuff can I finally look for my father in earnest?" I guess. I know Herc told you the Simselves might know. I'd suggest starting there. "I know. Roche is asking De right now..."

"You mean you don't know, Miss De?" "I'm sorry, Roche. I'm not sure who Bart's father is." "Aww... between Bart and the curse, things are kinda sad around here." Poor kid. You don't need to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders just yet, Roche. But it's very nice that you want to help. "Just you wait, goddess. I'm going to stop the curse AND find Bart's father!"

Pao, meanwhile, waited until Alan had left the room before he tried to recruit De to the Syndicate. "Honestly, De, you could make so much money selling counterfeit pearls you could even afford real ones." "Y'know, Pao, pearls aren't all that expensive." "Sadly, De, the counterfeit ones are more in demand than the real ones right now. That's how much profit you can make." "Weeeell... I'll think about it."

"Roche! What are you doing out of bed? Anyway, pass on zee message to your family. Zee lot is cursed. You all must move!" "Aaaah! But I don't wanna move, Grandma Elise!" "Zat ees not my concern. Just tell your grandmuzzer Mary, ma petit garçon."

Accordingly, the family moved into a smaller (and hopefully less glitchy) lot. Yes, I built on a foundation to cut down on the hauntings. It's not cheating... really.

"Pao, we love the new house! But -urk- you're a little too heavy for us." "Oh, sorry Ivy. Just got a little too excited for a moment." "We noticed. Can we put you -ugh- down now?"

"What's that over there?" "Huh? I don't see anything except your mother gardening, Ivy." ** splat ** I don't think this Royal needs a court jester, do you?

Yep, the first thing Mary did when they moved into the new house was plant a new garden. What are you growing, Mary? "I be growin' eggplants." Eggplants? Anything else? "Nay." Well, whatever floats your boat. "Ship." Ship.

Of course, a welcome wagon had to stop by. Along with Orikes (Pseudo Legacy, in the background), the island's newest Gypsy also stopped in to greet the chieftainess Mary and Ivy, the heiress apparent.

Aaroc (write the Elven Legacy and the Deadlacy, as well as the Zombie of Love Bachelorette challenge - which just ended) also stopped by. I think he's the one flinging salad all over the place.

"Goddess, it's too hard finding a girlfriend these days." Well, go ahead and give the wishing well a try. "I will!"

And the wishing well sent Lisa Lind, who promptly planted a big kiss right on Bart's lips. They instantly loved, crushed, and best friended.

"So... how about we actually get to know each other and go on a date... uhh... what was your name again?" "I'm Lisa. And that sounds like a really great idea... uh..." "Bart." "Bart! Wanna go skating?"

Sadly, I missed all the pictures of them falling flat on their rears. They didn't manage to skate very long. Still, the date ended up being a Dream Date!

... although I've never seen one end quite like this. That's real classy, Bart.

Back at home, meanwhile, Roche tried catching butterflies. He might even have been successful, if he hadn't been interrupted.

"Roche, me boy, ye need to inform your parents that ye're to be the heir, aye? Only you can stop the family fortunes from plummeting. Savvy?" "Gee, are you sure, Grandpa Jack?" "Listen, kid, the bear's telling the truth. I gotta do some research because I don't exactly know the specifics, but I do know you're the one to break the curse." "You don't talk like the other Gypsy, Miss Gypsy Lady." "We don't all talk like Hammer Horror refugees, squirt."

"So, I hear you have a harem." "We do." "Got any available openings?"

"Hey, you're a Simself, right?" "Yes, that's right. I write the Ps-" "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Do you go on boolprop.com?" "Of course! It's the best place to advertise lega-" "Yes or no, lady. Yes or no. I don't need a book."

Bart! Manners! "Fine, fine. Anyway, ma'am, you wouldn't happen to have read who my father is, would you?" "Sorry, Bart." "Frammit!" Language!

"Well, Miss New Gypsy Lady? D'you think you might be able to tell me who my father is?" "Listen kid, you'd do better running around town looking at everyone to see if they got your nose than you would asking me anything. I'm just here to be all doomy and gloomy about your family curse."

... y'know, Bart, I don't think the Gypsy meant that literally, the running around town thing. "Toast, I gotta know ... do you know who my father is?" "Sorry, kid." *hic*

"Hey Mister Bartender, slide me a cold one." "Can I see some I.D.?" "Will a library card do?" "Sure." Bad Bart! You're much too young to be hanging around seedy bars like the Mauve Flamingo. Actually, you're too young to be hanging out in that part of town, period.

"Shows what you know, goddess. Look, he even served me!" Oh yeah? *zing!* "Hey! You turned my drink into fruit punch!" Hehehe.

Since a few Simselves wandered into the grocery store next to the bar, Bart headed over to quiz them as well. However, SimHubby was having none of it. "Listen, I'm not allowed to tell you, kid. Free will, and all that. Plus Sarah'd get very cross with me. You'll have to find out on your own." "Frammit!" Language!

"Are you a Simself?" "Geez, kid, do I look like a Simself to you?" "Well, you don't have face one or anything." "Listen, I'm a detective. Private Eye. Gumshoe. You know?" "Really? Can you help me find my father?" "Has he been kidnapped or something?"

"No... my mom just won't tell me who he is." "Ahh... well, I'm kinda busy with a case at the moment, kid. Listen, if you haven't figured things out in a few months, stop by my office and I'll see what I can do." "Gee... thanks for nothing." "Don't mention it."

Whatcha doin', Mary? "Me dad and me are just goin' ta have a nice little chat, goddess." About what? "Just about the Curse, aye?" That again?

"Well, it be a serious matter, goddess. Savvy?" I suppose... I think you're putting too much faith in the words of a few ghosts, though. "Now ye listen 'ere, goddess. Me family be in danger o' becoming extinct, aye? And that makes this particular Curse a matter o' extreme importance to me daughter and me. Savvy?" Have fun, then. I still think you're making a big deal out of nothing.

"Bart, having any luck finding your father?" "Geez, grandpa, I'm trying to shower! And no! And... uh... would you mind not walking through the door like that? It's kind of creepy."

Why so glum, chum? "I had to make my own pancakes." Truly, my heart bleeds for you.

"So, Alan made pancakes for everyone else." Awww... it's because you woke up two hours before everyone else because of that stupid military career you insist upon. "Still, it's the principle of the thing."

"Ivy, honey, I appreciate that you felt the urge to suddenly Bust-A-Move for me. But I'm trying to pee! Elder bladder here!" "Fine. We know when we are not being appreciated."

"We wish for someone to kiss."

... Nice face, Brandon Lillard. "This is what you get when you have a salon in your business for only a short time, goddess."

"Brandon... may we call you Brandon? Anyway, we would like to audition you." "Really, highness? Oh boy!"

"Well? How'd I do?" "Ehh... you can try auditioning again when your face is fixed. We were too distracted to rate you properly." "You mean I failed?" "We prefer the term, 'disqulified', serf." "Nooo... the shame! By the way, it kind of hurts when you shove your arm through mine like that."

Brandon left none to soon, as Roche got home not long after the failed audition. "It rained while I was at school!" That it did. "I'm going to splash now! Yay!" But your homework! It'll get muddy!

"Grandpa?" "Yes, Roche?" "Grandpa Jack and the Gypsy lady told me that I have to be the heir because only I can stop the curse from destroying our family." "Is that so, Roche?" "Yes!"

"Well then, son, you'd best start convincing your mother that you should be heir." "But I don't want to be heir, grandpa." "We all do things we don't like doing sometimes, Roche." "Gee, how'd you get so smart, grandpa?" "They say fish is brain food, Roche. They say fish is brain food."

"Mr. Spade, I think I may have a lead for you. I'm pretty sure that the person behind the counterfeit clams and pearls is the goddess!" Hey! "What do you mean you've never heard of the goddess? She lives just down the road from me. No, I have not been drinking! Yes, I'm sure I'm awake. Listen, you can't miss her. She's blue. Cedar house down the road. Listen, you don't believe me? Just ask any of the island inhabitants. Anyway, I know it's her because only she would be one step ahead of the police like the Syndicate has been for so long. Just... check the lead out. Bye!"

Somehow, I don't think he believed you, Alan. "He claims he's an atheist, goddess." Well, I haven't visited him yet. "That makes sense. I still think you're the mastermind, by the way." Do you. "... no, not really."

"zzzzzIdon'twanttobeheirbutIgottazzzzz"

"Daddy, Grandpa Jack told me that I gotta be the heir." "Did he, now? And what do you think about that?" "I don't wanna be heir, daddy. I wanna have a FUN life with motherlode and stuff."

And Ivy is a Rock God. That's what, third time platinum? "We think you've got that correct."

"Listen, kids, with this whole Curse thing the ghosts are being a lot more active. I don't want you going outside after dark, okay?" "Yeah, whatever." "Okay, daddy!"

Of course, that didn't stop Bart from calling up Lisa. "So you'll be here around one? Great!"

Bart then crashed on the couch while the rest of the family (except Roche) woohooed to sleep. Roche did his homework and then went to bed. Such a nice boy.

Finally, Lisa pulled up. Bart was extra quiet sneaking out of the house. He made sure to avoid the ghosts, too.

However... he didn't quite avoid the police. Where'd you find him? "At a really seedy bar trying to buy booze." Bart! "I spent most of the night asking Simselves if they know who my father is, but I got kinda discouraged."

Awww... listen, there is a Simself who knows who your father is. But you have to ask her yourself. "Her, huh? Thanks, goddess!" Just don't tell anyone I gave you a hint. Now, off to bed for two hours! *yawn* "Good idea, goddess."

However, Bart's grandparents had other ideas. "Bart, it's not really the best idea to sneak out at night. You should at least leave a note. That way we know where you are." "Yer Granddad makes a good point, me boy. Is it too much to ask that ye let us know when ye're going to sneak out?" "That kind of defeats the purpose of sneaking out..." "Well, just be careful then."

"Bart! You're back! I had a bad dream last night so I went into your room to ask you to chase away the monsters but you weren't there and I got scared!" "Aww... sorry, Roche. I guess I will leave a note next time I sneak out."

While the kids were at school, all the adults had the day off so Ivy threw a party. It was just family invited this time, so that Ivy wouldn't get slapped. She didn't want to tempt the Curse. Of course, I also stopped by to register my disapproval at how much the family was letting the Curse run their lives.

Honestly, Jack, you need to tell them to stop worrying about this whole curse thing. "Supernatural occurrences are not in my line of business. I deal in commodities, not curses. Incidentally, there is a personage of the investigative persuasion making a minor nuisance of himself around my business partners. Would it be too much to ask that his talents be redirected elsewhere?" Honestly, I don't think you really need to worry too much about him. He's a bit like a puppy - cute and eager to please, but really not all that bright. Just try not to hurt him too much. "Goddess, I am offended by your implication. I would not hurt a fly." Riiiiiiight. Says the guy who smuggled weapons-grade plutonium in pillowcases while he was in school. "That was just a hobby."

Bart! What happened! "It be the Curse, goddess." No it's not. He just passed out because he stayed up all night. "That be the Curse too, goddess." Stop being melodramatic.

Who needs a car anyway? With the party in full swing and it being one of the hottest days of the year, Ivy had a swimming pool put in. "Wheeee! We want to play Marco Polo!"

"I'll play, Auntie Ivy!" Autumn Thayer, daughter of Jack and Meadow, came home from school with Roche and was eager to join in the fun.

Before long, Roche had also joined them, as did Jack... and SimHubby...

... and me! Apparently that is what my piratical swimming gear looks like with a fat morph.

After the party, Ivy headed to the boutique to conduct a few business meetings.

Ivy, that's not business! "No, it's an audition." Run, Aaroc, run!

*sigh* Too late.

"Do you really think a floozy like me would want to run away from Ivy?" Hrm. Good point.

Meanwhile, back at Legacy Manor, Ivy got home just in time to see the ghost of Armando scaring her mom. Anthony, I can see you back there. Go 'way. "No! I'm here to make sure the Curse finally causes this family some damage!"

"I'm even willing to do my part! Ooga booga!" Mary! Get thee to an energizer!

... BAD COUNT!

Really Bad Count! Mary? "I think I be dead, goddess."

No! You can't die yet, Mary! "AN INDIVIDUAL DOESN'T USUALLY HAVE MUCH CHOICE IN THE MATTER. BY THE WAY, HERE IS THE FAMILY POINTS CARD. FIVE DEATHS, GET ONE FREE."

Oh, just plead for her, Alan. "Mr. Death, you can't take my wife! Please bring her back!" "FINE. YOU CAN TRY SINCE YOU HAVE ACCUMULATED ENOUGH POINTS."

Yeehaw! Alan, you won! "I won? I won! Mary! Did you hear? I won!" "We are pleased that our mother is coming back." "Grandma's going to be okay?"

Yes, Roche. Your grandma is going to be okay. "I DON'T SUPPOSE I COULD BOTHER YOU FOR A DRINK BEFORE I GO? IT'S A LONG WAY TO COME FOR NOTHING." "There might be some rum left in the couch." "THANK YOU. AND SOME WATER FOR BINKY AS WELL?"

"Mary!" "Alan!" *sniff* Listen, guys, I'm sorry for doubting the Curse. Obviously it is getting more powerful. Something's got to be done. "We knew that already, goddess, aye? First step is, we make Roche the heir. Savvy?" Savvy. Now... get inside. I don't want anyone else getting ghosted. And that's where this chapter ends! So... will Bart find the elusive female simself who knows who his father is? Will the curse claim another life? Will Roche be able to lift it? All this and more in the next chapter of A Piratical Legacy! All Simselves courtesy of their creators. Go look up the legacies and stories I've mentioned in this chapter. You won't regret it!