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Family empowerment is to be done thoughtfully. Empowering the family is empowering the society. I have planned a narrative therapy for families with internal problems. The Story of Ruth Ellis, The Story of Ramu and Latha, and The Story of Divorce are delivered in three consecutive days and on the fourth day "Why do we stay in unhealthy relationship" is delivered. It will work out a therapeutic effect for sure. Try this when you conduct Family empowerment sessions, or else do call me to deliver it in its actual style.
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Why Do We Stay In An Unhealthy Relationship?
Babu Appat
There are some strong reasons to stay together even when the relation
between, goes bad to worse and from worse to really intolerable a state
Is love really enough?
I often hear people say “I love him/her”
even if their relationship is harmful, abusive or unhealthy
It’s difficult even in difficult times
They stay in this relationship for the wrong reasons and sometimes
they find it extremely difficult to leave the relationship.
Leaving can be more complicated than it seems
It may seem simple. But the more you try to leave or give it up, you’ll
find it’s not that easy
There are many reason why men and women stay in an unhealthy
relationship
The following will explain some of the reasons why people decide to stay in a
harmful relationship
1. Reliance or Codependency
Someone can become financially dependent on their partner and believe that without money they
will not have a lavish lifestyle or simply believe that they won’t be able to stand on their own feet
The Provisions
Some people may stay in an abusive or unhealthy relationship because their
partner provides with lavish and grandiose things.
Shopping at high end stores or buying big brands is
glamorous
But when you love it more than your partner it becomes unhealthy
someone may think that they have nowhere to go if
they leave
There may dwell a feeling of helplessness in their mind
The prevailing social and cultural background is
important here
It may be aggravated by the individual financial freedom of either of the partners
In all these situations
They will be strong when they decide to stay in the relationship, .
So try to understand
And decide to stay together peacefullyTry to be happy with what you have
If you can’t do it yourself
Get some professional help
2. Believing abuse is normal
Perhaps someone grew up in an environment where abuse was common
and do not recognize that their relationship is unhealthy
3. Low self esteem
A person with low self- esteem may believe that the abuse or
maltreatment is their fault because their partner constantly blames them or puts them down
4. Pregnancy or Parenting
A person may feel pressured to stay in an unhealthy relationship because of pregnancy or may feel pressured to
raise their child by both parents.
Fear of losing the child
The abusive partner may threaten to take away their child if they leave
5. Change
A person may stay in an unhealthy relationship because their partner promises that they will change and they hope that they eventually will
6. Settle
Some people may settle being in an unhealthy relationship
rather than being alone.
Fear of being left alone
The thought of being alone may scare someone and would rather
be with anyone.
According to Dr. Wendy Walsh, who wrote
“Should I Stay or Should I Go?”
a partner is afraid to be single, he or she imagines that being in a bad relationship
better than being alone
Apprehensions about single life
He or she also distorts the future by really thinking that single life will be far worse than it actually turns out to be
7. Good Enough
Someone may believe that the abusive partner is “good-enough for me” and may feel that they do not deserve better
No one else will be good enough
Or the abusive partner may have already convinced them that no one
else will love them more than they do, that they will only love them and their
“weaknesses” and that they are not good enough for others
8. Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is a way to justify our actions so that we may never have to feel that we did something wrong
Facing the fact that it’s a mistake
People have a hard time breaking free from bad relationships because it means coming to terms that you
stayed in a bad relationship for a long time, and facing the fact
that it was a mistake
Present Commitment
If you can’t accept and come to terms that it is a mistake you will continue to justify your present commitment to the
relationship
9. Personal Needs
It is important to not compromise your self-worth. Know what your needs are and how to find happiness. Stick to your needs
and find the confidence to work it away
If you think You CANNOT
If you can’t do it yourself
Get some professional help
Of course you can walk away
If you can build it up again, and make it better
than what it has been
I pray
Both of you must be HAPPY both
ways