RESPONDIN

G EFF

ECTIVELY

TO O

THERS

P A G E S 8 1 – 9 0

R E B E C C A C L A R K

LISTENING AND RESPONDINGo Thoughtfully responding serves several purposes

1. It tells a speaker how well we understand their message

2. It lets the speaker know whether we agree or disagree with a message

3. It validates the speaker; it lets the speaker know we’re “with” him or her.

o All of these allow the speaker to adapt his or her communication more appropriately to ensure listeners understand the message

WE WILL REVIEW THREE SETS OF SKILLS FOR RESPONDING TO OTHERS WHILE LISTENING

Responding with verbal messages

Responding with nonverbal messages

Responding with empathic messages

VERBAL RESPONSES

M E S S A G E S

Lets the speaker know that you understand the message

Lets the speaker know you need clarification

Lets the speaker know your interested and need more information

Lets the speaker know you would like them to continue

Lets the speaker know you would like to say something

E X A M P L E S

I understand. I see what you are saying.

I’m confused. Can you give me another example?

I find what your saying fascinating. Do you mind going into more detail?

OK, then what happened?

May I add something to what your saying?

NONVERBAL RESPONSES

V I S U A L ( S I G H T )

Forward Body lean

Head nods

Taking notes

Making eye contact

A U R A L ( S O U N D )

Vocal starters that suggest you want to say something

Respond quickly to other persons comments or questions

Variety in tone, pitch, rate, and volume (indicates you are interested)

Vocal assurance to show you understand the message

EMPATHIC MESSAGES

M E S S A G E

Ask appropriate questions most of these questions serve one of four purposes

1. to obtain additional information

2. to check how the other person feels

3. to ask for clarification

4. to verify you have reached an accurate conclusion

Paraphrasing ( restating in your own words what you think another person is saying

E X A M P L E

What do you mean when you say ….?

Let me see if I got this right…

HELPING OTHERS LISTEN EFFECTIVELY TO YOU

H E L P I N G O T H E R S S E L E C T Y O U R M E S S A G E S

Move closer to the other person

Make it ok for others to approach you

Make the information usefulShow how the information will benefit them

Adapt messages to others beliefs

Give consideration on how your message will be received

H E L P I N G O T H E R S A T T E N D T O Y O U R M E S S A G E S

Make your messages novel

Make your message stand out

Make messages concreteMake words vivid and clear

Make messages moderate in length

Keep the listeners attention

HELPING OTHERS LISTEN CONT.H E L P I N G O T H E R S U N D E R S T A N D Y O U R M E S S A G E

o Fit messages into existing schema

Schema- a mental representation of knowledge

o Develop a new schema

o Use listeners frame of reference

Tap into what the listener already knows

H E L P I N G O T H E R S R E M E M B E R Y O U R M E S S A G E

o Use redundancyo Use memory

joggerso Use the principle

of primacy and recency

People are more likely to remember information that is presented first or last

HELPING OTHERS RESPOND TO YOUR MESSAGES Encourage questions

Encourage note taking

Encourage nonverbal responsiveness

HOW RESPONSIVE OF A LISTENER DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

I encourage you to take the quiz on page 84,

Was the outcome what you expected?

Were you surprised by your score?