Promoting Peer Competence in Young Children

Qing Sun

What is peer competence?

Peer competence is competence in interactions with pee

rs, which refers to how a child defines and solves the fun

damental challenges of initiating and sustaining interactio

ns with peers, resolving conflicts with peers, and building

friendships with peers (Kemple,2004).

Peer competence also involves a child’s effectiveness in

influencing a peer’s social behavior and appropriateness

given a specific setting, context and/or culture (Kemple,2

004).

Children who are competent in peer interactions are able to:

make friends and sustain friendships

fit in a peer group

share and take turns in play

resolve conflicts in positive ways

be aware of others’ feelings and emotions and respond

appropriately

take responsibility when hurting others’ feelings

Key skills in peer competence:

1. Confidence

Confidence is an attitude that reflects a positive and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities.

Confidence grows when children have opportunities to solve problems (Willis & Schiller, 2011).

Confidence is also influenced by the reactions of those around us (Willis & Schiller, 2011).

Confidence is importance for gaining access to peer groups, such as request for entering a play group.

See the scenario of Maria:

On the playground, seven-year old Maria longs to join the other girls as they play in the sand under the oak tree. She knows she could walk over and say, “Can I play with you?” She has some good ideas for fun things to play and talk about, but she envisions her attempts being rebuffed or ignored. Instead of taking a chance at “sounding stupid” or not being heard, she hangs back on the sidelines and busies herself playing with acorns (Kemple,2004).

In this case, Maria lacks the confidence of being accepted by peers in group play. She is afraid of being ignored or rejected; or she might have experience of being rejected in such situations, which probably had lowered her level of confidence.

2. Emotion regulation

Emotion regulation is the individual effort to ma

nage, inhibit, enhance, or modulate emotions

(Tanyel, 2009).

The ability to regulate emotions such as anger

and frustration plays an essential role in resolvi

ng conflicts. Children need to calm themselves

and then achieve an agreement of what would

be the best solution for the particular situation.

Emotion regulation patterns are well established by preschool period and are influenced by attachment with primary caregivers in toddlerhood (Tanyel, 2009).

Caring and responsive caregivers who read

cues of the childSecure

attachment

Trusting relationship between the child

and caregivers

Control of emotions

Scheme for future management of emotional stress

3. Social cognition Social cognition refers to the ability to understand ones

elf and others in society and social situations. Particularly, social cognition is concerned with interpret

ing and handling social information such as language, volume/tone of voice, facial expression, boundaries, group consensus, attitudes or beliefs.

Children with competent social cognition are able to recognize, explain others’ actions and feelings, after which they could respond appropriately to peers.

4. Communication Communication is a two-way process (receptive and expressive) t

hat includes the abilities to listen, question, understand, and respond to the message being conveyed (Willis & Schiller, 2011).

Information is conveyed through nonverbal communication as well:

loudness of voice

tone of voice

manner of address

body language

active listening Social language:

Social language is the ability to talk in a way that helps one gets along well with others.

Here is a video modeling social language: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfL22f-Zvgs

Examples of social language: Using language for different purposes

greeting (e.g., hello, goodbye) informing (e.g., I'm going to get a cookie) demanding (e.g., Give me a cookie) promising (e.g., I'm going to get you a cookie) requesting (e.g., I would like a cookie, please)

Changing language according to the needs of a listener or situation

talking differently to a baby than to an adult speaking differently in a classroom than on a playground

Following rules for conversations and storytelling taking turns in conversation how close to stand to someone when speaking how to use facial expressions and eye contact

Strategies to promote the skills

1. Confidence

Encourage children to try new things so that they will have opport

unities to solve problems of unfamiliar tasks (Willis & Schiller, 201

1).

Acknowledge successes. It is important to celebrate children’s ac

complishment of a difficult task, such as drawing a picture or writi

ng a brief log about the experience (Willis & Schiller, 2011).

Sometimes children choose to go to the teacher instead of workin

g out problems by themselves. The teacher may model and guide

“what to say” and “how to do” at first, and then give children an op

portunity to do it independently. Children’s confidence will be enh

anced gradually due to the success of problem solving.

See the scenario of Timmy:

Four-year old Timmy is shy in class and rarely initiates play. He is waiting for his classmates to ask him to join them.

Teacher: Timmy, in five minutes all the children will be able to play with any toy they want in the classroom. What would you like to play with?

Timmy: I want to play with the blocks.

Teacher: Good. Is there anyone you want to build with?

Timmy: I want to build a house with Sarah and Pete.

Teacher: I will ask Sarah and Pete to join us. When they come over, ask them “Will you build a house with me?” Okay?

Teacher: Sarah and Pete please come over here a minute. Timmy, ask Sarah and Pete your question.

Timmy: Will you build a house with me with the blocks?

Once Timmy understands that his classmates will respond to him and let him join the play, his confidence will be built and in turn he will begin to interact with peers more often.

2. Emotion regulation

To respect children’s negative emotions is the first step to help the

m regulate emotions.

Teach children that “You can feel mad without being mean”.

Children’s anger may get out of control because they cannot verbali

ze what they want or need. Encourage children to use their words,

such as “I need…” and “I want…”, to express why they have upset f

eelings.

Do not give in to a child who whines or acts aggressively to get wha

t he wants.

Model emotion regulation. Children who hit or unacceptable langua

ge may do so because they see adults around them acting aggress

ively. Teachers’ reaction to out-of-control children serves as the mo

del of how to control negative feelings. Teachers may also share th

eir self-calm strategies with children, such as counting to 10 or takin

g deep breaths (Willis & Schiller, 2011).

3. Social cognition Social cognition skills are fostered through social learning from a

variety of social experience. Pair the child with a more socially competent peer to elevate the c

hild’s social status and engage in more social interactions. Provide opportunities for a child to play with other children from a

wide age range (Lawhon & Lawhon, 2000). Older children who are more socially mature would model the child useful social techniques, such as topic selection, interpreting body language, how to read and react to particular cues, etc. On the other hand, the child may acquire caring, helping and sharing behavior and learn to be sensitive to others’ needs through playing with younger children.

Teachers may enhance social learning through coaching, modeling, and reinforcing positive social cognition skills, like cooperative play in a friendly, approving manner (Lawhon & Lawhon, 2000).

4. Communication Teach negotiation and compromise by modeling regularly. For ex

ample, “We will play hide and seek now and later we can play Candyland.”

Design scenarios for a variety of social settings so that children can learn to use effective social language in sociodramatic play. Examples of dramatic play ideas:

Camping

Ice cream store

KFC/Subway/Pizza Hut

Animal shelter

Barber shop

Shoe store

Create a classroom where children feel free and

comfortable to communicate with peers.

The classroom is:

a. A place children can trust

※Teachers follow a predictable schedule that is posted in

class and can be understood by every child.

※ Teachers make their expectations for children’s behavior

very clear.

b. A caring place

※ Acknowledge and accept children’s emotions

※ Model empathy and encourage children’s empathic respon

ses to peers

※ Greet each child early in the day and identify those children

who may need extra help on a particular day

c. A place every child belongs to

※ Recognize and be sensitive to each child’s uniqueness

※ Accept children’s family, language, and culture

(Kemple,2004).

Recommended literatures

Guettier, Benedicte (1999). The

father who had 10 children. Ne

w York: Dial Books for Young R

eaders.

Stephens, Helen. DK Toddlers

(1999). What about me? New Y

ork: DK publishing

Wyeth, S.D. (2002). Something beautiful.

New York: Dragonfly.

Naylor, P. (1994). King of the playground. Atheneum.

Agassi, M. (2000). Hands are not for hitting. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing.

Recommended program: Kimochis

Kimochis is a social-emotional learning program t

hat teaches children real-life skills, such as comm

unication, self-control, problem-solving, and respo

nsibility.

Kimochi means “feelings” in Japanese.

Kimochis characters: stuffed animals designed wit

h different personality and temperament.

Cloud:

unpredictable

has a hard time controlling his emotions

Bug:

thoughtful

extremely cautious

Huggtopus:

extremely affectionate and friendly

has to learn about respecting others’ boundaries

Cat:

persuasive

a bit bossy

soft inside

Lovey dove:

sweet and nurturing

successful problem-solver

great listener

See the video of character introduction:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzb2tdS0WVM

Kimochis feeling pillows: are small pillows with a feeling (e.g., happ

y, sad, silly, brave) printed on one side and a corresponding facial

expression on the other. Each kimochis character has a special po

cket where students can store their feelings.

Further information about Kimochis: www.kimochis.com

References

Kemple, K. M. (2004). Let's be friends: Peer competence and social

inclusion in early childhood programs. New York: Teachers College

Press.

Lawhon, T. & Lawhon, D. (2000). Promoting Social Skills in Young

Children. Early Childhood Education Journal, 28 (2), 105-110.

Nur E. Tanyel (2009). Emotional regulation: Developing toddlers’ so

cial competence. Dimensions of Early Childhood, 37 (2), 10-14.

Willis, C. A. & Schiller, P. (2011). Preschoolers’ Social Skills Steer Li

fe Success. Retrieved from http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/naeyc

/youngchildren_201101/index.php#/44