What is power in interpersonal relationship

Principles of Power

Types of Power

Communicating Power

. Power is the ability of one

person to influence what another person thinks or does.

• Power influences what you

do, when you do it, and with

whom. It influences your

choice in finding friends,

romantic partner and family relationships

Principles of power and influence

– Some people are more powerful than others

– Power can be shared

– Power can be increased or decreased

– Power follows the principle of less interest

– Power generates Privilege

– Power has a Cultural dimension

•

Power Can Be Shared

Some people argue that power must be preserved, share them with other people then we have eliminate most of our power. But some people contend that by dividing power, with empowering others, then in fact we had to grow/increase power us.

• Everyone can increase their power in some ways, but also, power can be decreased

• Meningkatnya kekuatan dapat dilakukan dalamberbagai cara, mempelajari cara negosisasi danmempelajari prinsip komunikasi untukmeningkatkan efektifitas daya persuasif

• Menurunya kekuatan seseorang dimanamereka gagal untuk mengendalikan situasimaupun gagal mengendalikan perilakuseseorang seperti yang diinginkan

• In any interpersonal relationship, the person who holds the power is the one less interested in and less dependent on controlled by the other person., the less power that a person has in it.

Power Generates Privilege

Power generating privilege:

the existence of power means having the primary right and by using power easy to break them

• Dalam budaya amerika priamemiliki kekuataan lebihbesar karena menghasilkanuang lebih banyak. Dan memiliki otoritas mengambilkeputusan

• Namun, budaya Arab Priamembuat sebuah keputusanbukan berdasarkanpenghasilan uang, tetapilebih karena lelaki diberikekuasaan yang lebih besardibanding wanita (lelaki ituimam bagi wanita)

Base of power and influence

1. Power in the relationship

2. Power in the person

3. Power the message

• Referent

• Legitimate

• Expert

• Information and persuasion power

• Reward and coercive power

• The power over others when they believe you have the right to influence or control their behavior. , because you have a position, for example in workplace.

• Power over others when they see you have the expertise in something or knowledge.

• Power over others when they see you as having the ability to communicate logically and persuasively.

• power over others if you have the ability to reward them, rewards may be material or social.

• power over others when you have the ability to administer punishments or remove rewards if others fail to yield to your influence.

Power in the person

• There are an awful lot of power/potential that resides in a person as a person, depending on the credibilityhe had so trustworthy and deserves to be followed by others.

• a. competence : person's who has knowledgeand expertise is that where other people see it. ..

• b. character. People will see You as someone who is credible, if they see you as someone with high moral character, someone who is honest, and someone they can trust.

• c. Charisma: is a combination of innate personality or strengths developed the views of others in one's self

• Speaking power

• Nonverbal power

• Listening Power

• Compliance Gaining and Compliance Resisting

• Powerfulness or powerlessness of people are communicated through the speech.

• There are powerless forms of speech such as

– Hesitations

– Intensifiers

– Disqualifiers

– Tag questions

– Slef-critical statements

– Slang

general verbal strategy :

• Direct request : suatu strategi yang secara umum dilakukanoleh laki” dan perempuan yang lebih banyak memiki“power” ex : can you get me a cup of coffee?

• Bargaining-promising : kesepakatan dalam melakukansesuatu jika orang lain juga melakukan hal yang sama

• Ex : I’ll clean up if you to cook.

• Ingratiation (mengambil hati) : mengharuskan bersifatramah agar mendapatkan apa yg diinginkan

Ex : kamu menulis sangat” baik”, dengan maksud ingin dibantumengedit makalahnya

• Manipulation : membuat orang lain merasa bersalah, sehingga berhasil mencapai tujuan yg dimaksud

• Ex: aku akan ada di acaramu jika kamu ingin aku ada disana

• Ability of people to persuade and influence others through nonverbal communication such as:– Gestures– Eye contact– Facial Expression– Clothes

• We also communicate power through listening, by listen actively to people. Focus and concentrate on what is being said, on what people say they want or need.

• Compliance gaining strategies:

– Tactics aimed at influencing others to do what you want them to do.

What are compliance gaining strategies?

• Compliance gaining is a term used in the social sciences, specifically in sociology and communication studies.

• To identify the act of intentionally trying to change behavior.

• The term refers to how people try to get other people to DO things, or comply. Compliance is separate, but not unrelated to persuasion.

• Altercasting (Negative):

• Try to get others to comply by pointing out that only a bad person would not do what is wanted. That is, try to gain their compliance by noting that only a person with negative qualities wouldn’t comply.

• Example:

The mark of a bad person is someone who steals, so quit doing it.

Altercasting (Positive) • Try to get others to comply by pointing out that a

good person would do what is wanted. That is, try to gain their compliance by noting that any person with positive qualities would comply.

Exmple :

• One could say, “A good friend would do this. Or

Positive communication regarding individuals, or optimistic examples of positive affirmation.

Aversive Stimulation• Trying to get others to comply by

doing things they don’t like until they agree.

• Example : I keep making Sammie’s life miserable until he does what I want.

Assertion• The most common strategy type I would

think is Assertion.(pernyataan)

• Trying to gain their compliance by demanding (commanding) them to comply.

Example:

just do it now!

Altruism• Getting others to comply with your demands

by asking them for a “hand out”, or doing something out of the goodness of their heart.

Examples:Please have pity on me, I need help!

or

• I’m in big trouble, I need help.

• Compliance resisting strategies:

-Tactics that enable you to say “no” and to resist another person’s attempts to influence you

• Empat Prinsip/Cara untuk Menolak

1. Identity management : Yaitu cara menolak dengan merubah imej permintaan tersebut dimata orang tersebut. Misalnya: a) “Kamu tahu materi ini lebih baik dari aku, kamu bisa membuat tugas yang lebih baik dari milikku” (positif) b) “Ini tidak adil kenapa aku harus meminjamkan tugasku kepadamu” (negatif)

2. Nonnegotiation : Dengan secara langsung menolak Misalnya: “Tidak bisa, aku tidak akan meminjamkan tugasku ini”

3.Negotiation : Tidak sepenhnya menolak, tetapi dengan memberi sebuah syarat yang harus dipenuhi Misalnya: “Aku akan meminjamimu tugasku tapi bukan untuk disalin”

4. Justification : membuat penolakanmu menjadi benar dengan mengatakan apa konsekuensi jika patuh atau tidak Misalnya: “aku takut akan ketahuan, dan aku tidak lulus mata kuliah ini” atau “ Kau akan sangat senang mengerjakan tugas ini, ini penuh dengan kesenangan”

Misuses of power and influence

• it was Fun we know and believe that the forces that usually holds for control to seek the good of all. But in fact the power is often used as a selfish and unfair

• Sexual harassment

– Quid Pro Quo

– Hostile Environment Harassment

Quid Pro Quo : (sesuatu untuk beberapa hal )

• Dalam quid pro quo pelecehan, kesempatan kerja(seperti dalam perekrutan dan promosi) tergantungpada pemberian nikmat seksual.

quid pro quo pelecehan juga melibatkan situasiberbagai konsekuensi negatif dapat disebabkan olehkegagalan untuk memberikan pelayanan seksualtersebut.quid pro quo pelecehan terjadi ketika mempekerjakankonsekuensi pemerintah (positif atau negatif) sebagaiengsel pada orang respon terhadap kemajuan seksual.

Sexual Harassment

• Recognizing Sexual Harassment

1. Is it real?

2. Is it job related?

3. Did you reject this behavior?

4. Have these types of messages persisted?

Avoiding Sexual Harassment

1. Begin with the assumption that coworkers are not interested in your sexual advances, jokes, or stories.

2. Listen and watch negative reactions to any sex-related discussion.

3. 3. Avoid saying or doing anything offensive in behavior.

Hostile Environment Harassment

• Pelecehan dalam lingkungan yang tidak bersahabatjauh lebih luas dan mencakup semua perilakuseksual (verbal dan nonverbal) yang membuatpekerja tidak nyaman.

Misalnya, menempatkan gambar seksual eksplisit di papan pengumuman, menggunakan screen saverseksual eksplisit, menceritakan lelucon seksual, danmenggunakan bahasa seksual serta merendahkan ataugerakan semua merupakan pelecehan seksual.

Sexual Harassment• Responding to

Sexual Harassment1. Talk to the harasser2. Collect Evidence3. Begin with

appropriate channels

4. File a complaint5. Don’t blame

yourself

• Power play

is are patterns (not isolated) of behavior that is used repeatedly by one person to take unfair advantage of others (Steiner, 1981)• Power play aims to deny

your right to make your own choice and comes in many forms.

Power plays• Identifying Power Plays

• Responding to Power Plays

– Express your feelings

– Describe the behavior to which you object

– State a cooperative

Identifying Power Plays

--“You owe me” :(kamu berhutang)

disini orang secara sepihak melakuka sesuatu untuk anda danmenuntut balasannya

--“You’ve got to be kidding!” : seseorang menyerang denganmenganggap pernyataan orang lain hanya sebuah lelucon

(ekspresi tidak percaya sehingga orang lain terkesan bodoh