Chapter 11

Interpersonal Communication

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Interpersonal communication is defined as speaking to and

listening another person in alteration, and thinking

concurrently. It is strongly influenced by each

individual’s intrapersonal communication

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The useful model, the JohariWindow (indicates the relationship

between intrapersonal and interpersonal communication) shows

the four aspects of a person’s awareness: open, hidden, blind and

unknown.

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As acquaintance and trust between you and me grows, I may feel

comfortable about disclosing more personal details about myself. This

process is called self-disclosure

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There are 4 verbal communication skills; two are encoding skills: speaking and writing; two are decoding skills: listening and reading. The fifth is the intrapersonal skill is crucial to both encoding and decoding: thought or

reasoning and competence in dealing with emotion or feeling. Language skill affects a person’s ability to

analyze one’s own purposes and intentions and the ability to express oneself. Our communication skills

deficiencies also limit the ideas that are available to us and limit our ability to think.

Communication skills

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Skills for interpersonal communication

The skills needed for interpersonal communication are self-awareness, control

over oneself, speaking clearly and pleasantly, good manners and etiquettes, Listening,

understanding of non-verbal behavior and feedback

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Self Awareness

Knowledge of one’s own attitudes, prejudices and perceptions and

competent handling of one’s intrapersonal communication is

required for effective interpersonal communication.

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Control Over Oneself

It involves skill in dealing with intrapersonal

communication. Holding one’s tongue is difficult, but

if you have the ability to maintain peace, and keep

silent till you reach the right moment to speak, your

interpersonal communication will be more effective and you will save

yourself a great deal of energy. You and only should choose how you will behave

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Speaking clearly & PleasantlyIt is the primary requirement of successful interpersonal communication. Making eye

contact, varying the voice to avoid monotone, being brief and to the point, asking questions are the tips to keep the listener involved. The

some ways to ensure that you appear comfortable to be with are: First, at the

beginning of an encounter, move and speak slower, lower and less; demonstrate that part of you which is most like them; bring out the

other person’s best side.

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Good Manners and Etiquettes

Knowledge and practice of

proper etiquette result in

successful conversation

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Introduction

Introductions are the few moments in which critical first impressions are made on all sides. Generally impressions are

made within 20-30 seconds upon meeting someone. In business it is based on

hierarchy; A client always comes before anyone in your organization; an elected

official comes before a non-official; introduce a junior executive to a senior

executive. If no own introduces you, just introduce yourself to the other

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Paying ComplimentsIt is an art; an expression of

appreciation. It should be temperate, it should be

genuine, it should have no other motive than to

recognize someone for something special.

When someone pays you a compliment, acknowledge it

and than the person graciously

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Listening

A good listener concentrates on the speaker’s line of interest, tries to understand the speaker’s

framework and uses the same terminology. This wins the goodwill of the other party

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Understanding of non-verbal behavior

Ability to sense the feelings behind words from the body

language develops with practice. We must listen with eyes as well as the ears. Good interpersonal

skill depends a great deal on control and command of one’s

body language

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Feedback

Being the most delicate and difficult skills of interpersonal communication, it requires

tact, honesty and self-control. Give feedback immediately or soon after the event; give it

in a positive manner; be specific, not general or vague; give feedback only on the aspects

which the person can control and correct; be sure of your own motive inn giving

feedback. While accepting feedback seek and receive it with genuine desire to

improve; be non-defensive; listen attentively; if vague feedback is offered, seek clarification and ask for specific instances;

think over the received feedback

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Asking QuestionsBeing the powerful tool

in dialogue, the style and way of asking must be

carefully cultivated. Ask open-ended questions; do not ask questions which make others

uncomfortable; ask what if…?; offer alternative

and ask; ask about their feelings; repeat back

what they said

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Assertiveness without aggression

Assertiveness is reasonable behavior. Being assertive is being neither passive nor

aggressive. It in not just a set of techniques. It requires self-knowledge, understanding of

one’s own skill and limitations, a sense of self-worth and recognition of one’s own and

other people’s rights and responsibilities. Being assertive helps to achieve a ‘win/win’

outcome in most business dialogue

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Expressing disagreement without being offensive

Express disagreement without being offensive.

When you disagree, instead of keeping silent or

responding aggressively, try positive assertiveness. Do

not attempt to solve problems that others raise

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Summarizing

It is important to summarize the

previous speaker’s view especially when one disagrees with

it. It is a restatement without any

comment and must be spoken in an

objective tone and manner without indicating any

opposition by tone of voiced or facial

expressions

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ClosureEnding a communication event on a pleasant note is always

beneficial for relationships. Style and manner of communication

are the basis of relationships and good feeling