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How to BeMISERABLE
at College or University
scribendi.com presents:
Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Back
scratches. Led Zeppelin. Puppies. College
success.
What do these things all have in common?
They are all so totally overrated.
You don’t want to learn how to succeed in
college. You know better than that! You, my
friend, are looking to be miserable at college,
and if there’s anything I know about in my
plain ice cream, itchy, silent, puppy-less life,
it’s how to be miserable.
Here are some tips to help you become just
as miserable as I am while you trudge your
way through college.
1. Study, study, thenstudy some more.Remove the concept of "balance" entirely fromyour student life. Place your entire self-worth onyour academic college success, and I guaranteeyou’ll be miserable in two weeks flat.
2. Party like a rock star.
Party enough to make yourself feel like the student loan you took outhas gone completely to waste, and then think about how long it willtake you to repay that wasted investment. Consider your transitionto utter misery complete.
3. Take classes you hate.
You know what’s way cooler than being a happyhistory major? Why, being a miserable biologymajor, of course. Since you’re not looking to learnhow to succeed in college, I advise you to takeonly classes in which you have no interest.
4. Don't try tomake friends.
Instead of taking advantage of your
situation and developing
relationships with new people, you
should cling to high school
friendships with people who live in
different cities, states, or maybe
even countries. Those unsatisfying
relationships will be sure to keep
you good and miserable.
5. Never leaveyour dorm room.You can’t possibly achieve college success or general life
satisfaction from the safety of your room, which is why
your room is where you must stay.
You might experience growth if
you leave, and self-development is
certainly the very last thing you
want in your quest to be
miserable at college.
Changed your mind?Want to be successful?
Check out some of thesegreat resources, or follow
us to keep up with ourlatest posts.