How to write more interesting sentences of varied length and structure

› by avoiding some words and constructions

› by using pronouns correctly in good sentences reflexive pronouns

reciprocal pronouns

by using verbals infinitives

gerunds

participles

by using correct punctuation well comma use in restrictive/non-restrictive phrases

using the dash effectively

Which works better?

It was because she was often absent and

rarely did her homework that she failed.

She failed because she was often absent

and rarely did her homework.

There or this followed by a linking verb. Avoid this construction in a paper. There is a weak pronoun. There is not the subject – something else is. Find it, replace it, and be done with it.

e.g. --There is a place I like to go to get gelato when I am in Rome.

Both of these sentences are more effective:

--When I am in Rome, I like to get gelato at Guiseppi’s!

--Guiseppi’s in Rome has the very best gelato in the city.

The word not leads to wordiness. The English vocabulary is rich with negative words. Beware the cheapening of your words by using not.

Not happy – unhappy, distressed, Be exact. Not on time – late, tardy…

Not healthy – sick, ill, infirm…

Not allowed – refused

Not up for it – ill prepared, unprepared

Not to be trifled with – dangerous

Not able – unable

The reason is because… can always be replaced by because or some other suitable word. Beware of all the forms.

The reason I write is because I need money. – I write because I need money. (or I write to eat.)

John said the reason he is late is because his car doesn’t work well. – John is late because his car is unreliable. (or An unreliable car made John tardy).

The fact that… must always be revised –often omitted.

The fact that I’m here shows that I love the opera. – My presence shows my love for the opera.

It’s just the fact that I’m fed up with talking about taxes. – I hate talking about taxes.

I’d like to call your attention to the fact that I still haven’t been paid for my work. –

Let me remind you that I still haven’t been paid for my work.

Sin

gu

lar Myself

Yourself

Herself

Himself

ItselfP

lura

l Ourselves

Yourselves

themselves

IYouSheHeIt

WeYouThey

―Woman in Mirror‖ Pablo Picasso 1932

COMMON USES

1. We use reflexive pronouns when the subject

and object in a sentence are the same, as

in the following examples.

• The woman saw herself in the

mirror and smiled.

• If you don't know him, you should introduce

yourself.

2. In imperative sentences with reflexive

pronouns, use:

Yourself when the subject is singular.

Don`t push yourself so hard, Tom.

Yourselves when the subject is plural.

Don`t push yourselves so hard, guys.

3. Reflexive pronouns are also used to stress or emphasize a noun, in which case they are most often placed immediately after the noun, as in the following example sentences.

• Money itself can't buy happiness.

• The company president himself made the announcement.

4. The use of "by + reflexive pronoun"

signifies that the performer of the action

had no help, as in this example

sentence.

• She made the dress by herself.

However, "be + reflexive pronoun"

means to act or behave in an unusual

manner.

Just be yourself at your interview.

Use for two people

Each other

We

You

They

Indicatereciprocicalrelationship

Use for more than two people

One another

Examples of usage:

•Tom and Sara met each other at work.

•We all told one another about our jobs.

•Fred and Jane blamed each other Fred and Jane blamed themselves.

With a learning partner, choose the right reciprocal pronoun:

1. All of the members of the team have a lot of respect for (each other or one another).

2. Mary and John love (each other or one another)so much.

3. So many students arguing with (each other or one another) will never solve anything.

A verbal is a word formed from a verb but functioning as a different part of speech. We can use verbals to improve and clarify our writing.

use verbals to join sentences

use verbals to clarify

Prince Valiant was dejected. He rode through the crowd with his head down.

The Prince rode to the castle.

A present participle is an –ing form of a verb.

Riding dejectedly through the crowd, Prince Valiant made his way to the castle.

Notice this says the same as the three sentences above, but the new sentence is much more effective. It says just what we want to say, but uses fewer, more interesting words to do so.

Junie was not very excited about school.

There weren’t very many things she cared

about at school.

There was one thing she wanted to learn

and that was to read.

Reading was one of the few things Junie

wanted to learn at school.

are used with nonessential elements in writing to

add detail.

ESSENTIAL INFORMATION is included in the sentence without commas:

The boy in the red hat is my brother.

NON-ESSENTIAL INFORMATION requires commas:

That boy, the one in the red hat, is my brother.

Think of the commas surrounding non-essential information like handles—you can pick these phrases up and remove them from the sentence without changing the meaning of the sentence.

Where do the commas go?

I do not understand and I never will how to

ride a motorcycle.

Many people wonder and will always

wonder how Stonehenge was constructed.

You can recognize sentence modifiers

easily because they are phrases and

clauses that add something to the entire

sentence, but do not function as a

complete sentence by themselves.

As I said…

If I could…

Because of…

here’s how to decide!--locate the main subject and verb--If the phrase comes before the main SUBJECT and VERB, use a comma. Modifiers do not require a comma if they come after the main subject and verb.

Because I love to read, I will volunteer at

the library.

I will volunteer at the library because I love

to read.

Use commas to set off parenthetical

expressions.

• A parenthetical expression is a side remark

that adds information. By the way, for

example, however, I think, and to tell the truth are all common parenthetical

expressions.› Of course, I believe that your excuse is real.

› To tell you the truth, I have never told a lie in my life.

› I would, for example, always tell my parents the truth.

The platypus is the oddest mammal. It has a

duckbill instead of a nose. It has sensors

inside its duckbill. Those sensors allow it to

forage and hunt for food. The platypus has

spurs in its two hind legs. The male platypus

has poison in the spurs. Female platypus

lays eggs. The female platypus lactates

through her skin to feed her young.

Platypuses are ornery, territorial mammals.

› Notice anything?

All of the sentences are structured in the exact

same way: Subject, Verb, Object. Subject, Verb,

Object.

There is no rise or fall in the tension of the

language: the sentences don’t urge the reader

forward. They just seem to sit there on the page.

The paragraph drags on and on.

Although the common active voice sentence

structure is Subject Verb Object, a writer can use

phrases and clauses to create variety and

interest in their active writing.

Adjective clause: modifies a noun or

pronoun

› Usually introduced by a relative pronoun:

who / whom / that / which / whoever /

whomever.

The bear who was looking out his window began to

wonder about life in the wild.

That mustache, which is scraggly at best, looks like an eyebrow from here.

Adverbial clause: any clause that modifies a verb by expressing the cause, comparison, condition, manner, result or time of the verb. › Here are some signal words or phrases: as / as if /

rather than / although / even if / except that / if only / if / in case / where / wherever / so / after / unless / as soon as / before / since / until / till / whenever / still

As soon as your brother returns we can leave.

In case there is an emergency, I have left you my cell phone number

The active voice pattern is highlighted in green

Infinitive phrases can be adjectival and adverbial› Adjectival: Those mice are working together to hijack this

hayride!› Adverbial: Brian was doomed to look awkward for two more

weeks, or until his hair grows back.

Prepositional phrases can be adjectival and adverbial› Adjectival: Those girls in the next room are too loud.› Adverbial: The handsome cab rode past in a flash of white.

Notice how the italicized phrases—working as adjectives and adverbs—give the sentences extra information or action?

The platypus is the oddest animal. Even though it lays eggs it is still considered a mammal because it lactates through its skin to feed its young. Rather than a nose, it has a duckbill made of cartilage. Inside the duckbill is a cluster of sensors that allow the platypus to forage and hunt for food. Although both males and females have spurs on their hind legs, only the spurs on the male platypuses have poison inside. Ornery and territorial, male platypuses will fend off any intruders.

The platypus is the oddest mammal.

It has a duckbill instead of a nose. It

has sensors inside its duckbill. Those

sensors allow it to forage and hunt for

food. The platypus has spurs in its two

hind legs. The male platypus has

poison in the spurs. Female platypus

lays eggs. The female platypus

lactates through her skin to feed her

young. Platypuses are ornery,

territorial mammals.

With a few inversions—such as in the final sentence—and a few adjectives and adverbs, the same active voice paragraph comes alive. Suddenly the reader can see just how odd the platypus is to the writer!

› The writer has set up a pattern of contrasting the normal characteristics of a mammal with those of a platypus:

―instead of a nose it has a duckbill‖

―instead of a live birth, it lays eggs‖

Sandra loves to sing. She sings any time she

can. She is not a very good singer. Sandra

loves to dance. Sandra goes to school

across town. Sandra loves nature. She

loves to walk through the park on her way

to school. Sandra dances and sings on her

way to school.

be sure to

submit your

notes as you

go!