HELPHELPME IF YOU CAN!ME IF YOU CAN!

Vanessa HorningVanessa Horning

““We cannot We cannot teach people teach people anything. We anything. We can only help can only help them discover them discover it within it within themselves.”themselves.”

GalileoGalileo

Stress AssessmentStress Assessment

• It takes more than wanting to change, you have to believe you CAN change.

• It takes more than know-how, it takes practice and repetition of new skills

• It takes having new ways to think about things.

What we DO

comes from our

thoughts and

beliefs

IN MY IDEAL WORLD I WOULD, …

People spend billions of dollars every year buying self-help and motivational tapes, videos, books, joining health clubs and

diet programs, seeing doctors and therapists, and hiring life coaches and

business consultants – and yet so often they fail to realize their goals.

The reason isn’t that they don’t want to change or can’t change, but rather that

they don’t understand change or have the right tools to effect it.

IMPACTS SIGNS/SYMPTOMS CAUSES

Psychological

Physical/health

Work/Career

SIA Club

Impact of Stress on Our Lives

Fight or FlightFight or Flight

““Between stimulus and response Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our there is a space. In that space lies our ability to choose our response and in ability to choose our response and in

that choice lies our growth and that choice lies our growth and freedom.”freedom.”

Victor FranklVictor Frankl Man’s Search for Meaning Man’s Search for Meaning

Create Create “The Space”“The Space”

…….breathe.breathe

The Rider The Rider

• Conscious Conscious

• Likes new thingsLikes new things

• Slow, methodical & Slow, methodical & analytical analytical

The HorseThe Horse• Unconscious / Unconscious /

SubconsciousSubconscious

• Instinct, habit, Instinct, habit, programmingprogramming

• Lightning FastLightning Fast

• Owns your Owns your emotions emotions

• And….And….

Fights Change!Fights Change!

The HorseThe Horse

The TeamThe Team

Horse and Rider working Horse and Rider working together, can be a together, can be a BEAUTIFUL THING.BEAUTIFUL THING.

Emotions are Emotions are LearnedLearned Associations Associations

with withPast ExperiencesPast Experiences

(Owned By Your Horse)(Owned By Your Horse)

Anything that can Anything that can be learned can be be learned can be

unlearnedunlearned.

And relearned.And relearned.

FF ocusocus

II ntensityntensity

RR epetitionepetition

EE nthusiasmnthusiasm

Four Steps To Learning 1.1. Learn something newLearn something new

2.2. Practice (Conscious attention)Practice (Conscious attention)

3.3. Start to get benefit (Learning Start to get benefit (Learning Curve)Curve)

4.4. Habit (21-30 Days)Habit (21-30 Days)

““If you are pained by If you are pained by external things, it is not external things, it is not they that disturb you, but they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment wipe out that judgment now.” now.”

Marcus AureliusMarcus Aurelius

EventEventPerceptionPerception

InterpretatioInterpretationn

EmotionsEmotions

BehaviorBehavior

(Thoughts)(Thoughts)

(Actions)(Actions)

(Feelings)(Feelings)

EventEventPerceptioPerceptionn

InterpretatioInterpretationn

EmotionsEmotions

BehaviorBehavior ResponResponsese

StimuluStimuluss

ChoiceChoice

We can CHOOSE to…We can CHOOSE to…

Current

Frame

Current Script

New Script

Reframe

Rescript

And/Or

Perception & Perception & InterpretationInterpretation

“All our knowledge has its origins in perceptions.”

Leonardo da Vinci

“Two people see the same object, but they never see it in such a way that the images they receive are absolutely identical.”

C. G. Jung ‘Psychological Types’C. G. Jung ‘Psychological Types’

How Bad is it REALLYHow Bad is it REALLY??

““Anyone can become angry -- that’s Anyone can become angry -- that’s easy. But to be angry with the easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right purpose, and in the right way….that’s NOT EASY.”way….that’s NOT EASY.”

AristotleAristotle

Mark Twain…Mark Twain…

“ “In my life, I’ve experienced a lot of In my life, I’ve experienced a lot of terrible things…a few which terrible things…a few which actually happened.”actually happened.”

How bad is it, really? How bad is it, really?

1.1. Just the factsJust the facts

2.2. Remove the nonsense Remove the nonsense

3.3. Give it a Give it a number (1-10)number (1-10)

““Judge each Judge each day not by the day not by the

harvest you harvest you reap, but by the reap, but by the

seeds you seeds you plant.” plant.”

Robert Louis Robert Louis Stevenson Stevenson