Domestic Abuse, FL Realities and Mediator Perceptions

Domestic Violence

New Perspectives

Mark Roseman, Ph.D.Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator

Executive Director, The Toby Centerwww.thetobycenter.org

Prepared in partnership with Susan Horwitz, Ph.D.,

University of Rochester School of Medicine and Kathryn Jervis, Ph.D., University of Rhode Island

School of Business

http://www.thetobycenter.org/

THE RELATIONSHIP A,B,C’S!Risa Kiam, MSW, 1991, 2008; with permission of author

Relationship = A B C

Affection Behavior Communication

Attention Belonging Chemistry

Approval Being Commitment

Reported Domestic Violence Offenses: Relationship of Victim to Offender for Florida 1992 - 2007

YEAR TOTAL SPOUSE PARENT SIBLING CHILD OTHER FAMILY CO-HABITANT OTHER ARRESTS

1992 109,449 42,813 5,641 6,679 8,861 4,947 28,099 12,409 37,796 1993 112,585 42,105 6,335 6,993 9,090 5,303 30,904 11,855 37,161 1994 119,930 43,469 7,633 7,442 9,602 5,763 35,572 10,449 43,922 1995 131,152 45,483 9,041 8,873 10,188 6,396 39,968 11,203 56,741 1996 132,704 42,358 9,511 8,594 9,774 7,247 42,976 12,244 64,608 1997 136,382 42,602 10,507 9,360 9,979 8,233 44,326 11,375 67,385

1998 133,345 40,007 10,592 9,384 9,672 8,214 42,685 12,791 64,446 1999 126,044 35,570 10,498 9,168 9,883 7,951 40,700 12,274 63,4102000 124,629 34,235 10,451 9,172 9,767 7,717 38,797 14,490 62,939 2001 124,016 33,533 10,900 9,282 9,232 7,778 38,145 15,146 63,452 2002 121,834 31,874 11,274 9,214 9,190 8,123 37,736 14,423 66,188 2003 120,697 31,856 11,481 9,414 9,125 8,105 36,462 14,254 65,080 2004 119,772 30,427 11,670 9,361 9,213 7,978 36,289 14,834 64,072 2005 120,386 29,181 11,726 9,026 9,275 7,679 36,000 17,499 63,747 2006 115,170 28,129 11,672 8,175 8,994 7,339 35,401 15,460 62,787 2007 115,150 27,785 12,175 8,021 9,017 6,686 33,894 17,572 68,396

SOURCE: Florida Statistical Analysis Center: FDLE. Crime in Florida, Florida uniform crime report, 1992 -2007. Tallahassee, FL.

Florida DV Statistics

• “Abuse affects one in every three women.”

• “Palm Beach County has one of the highest incidents of domestic abuse in the state.” Pam O’Brien, ADVA Executive Director, reported in the Sun Sentinel, 3/11/09

People need to know that “abuse is as real as any other major issue in the world today, and although it may not be affecting you, there is a huge possibility that it is affecting someone you know.”

Beth WilmarthStudent, U of RI, 2002

Family StudiesMark Roseman, Professor

Respondent Demographics



Survey Sample Question #4

What do you estimate is the percentage of your clients involved

in partner violence?

23% did not answer.Of the 16 of 21 who did answer,

what did they say?

Question #4 Sample Results (16 of 21)• Mediation Beliefs About Clients

• 25 % of the sample estimated that HALF their clients have been involved in

domestic violence

• 50% of the sample believed that fewer than 10% of their clients were involved

in partner violence

Survey Question #5What Percentage of Your

Clients

Do You Ask… if Partner Violence is

Occurring?

How Often Do You Ask Clients About D.V. Survey Q #5, 16 of 21 respondents answered

• ASK ALL THE TIME Less than 30% (28.6 %)

• Ask, at least half the time Less than 10% (9.6 %)

• Never Ask Almost 23.8% Sample Results: 1 of 3 mediators seldom or do not ask. Consider: d.v. is reported in 1 of 6 households and 1 of 3 women

Applicant wrote…

“Most Domestic Violence is observed in elder mediation.”

Interesting Responses to Survey Question #5

I never ask because….

• “I don’t mediate family…”

• “I am not in domestic litigation…”

1 – Very Serious 5 – No Problem

Which Behaviors Would You Include In The Phrase “Partner Violence?”

Less than half of respondents felt that withholding money,

or one partner making all decisions were behaviors related to partner

violence.

Sixty Percent of respondents felt that isolating one partner

was related to partner violence.

Forty Percent thought isolationwas unrelated to partner violence.

An Applicant stated that the

• Media• Educational System• Society

Are “Potentially” factors in affecting domestic violence.

Who Is To Blame For Partner Violence?

The Perpetrator? The Victim? Society?

Who??

• One Applicant stated,

The Victim -“sometimes.”

10 Factors of Spousal AbuseIdentified by Gelles (according to Slipp, p.19)

∙ 18-30 years old, “many of them are economic.”

• Unemployed or underemployed

• Drug and alcohol user

• Little education above high school

• Products of abusive households

•

Gelles cont.

• Abuse their children

• Religious or culturally different from their spouses

• Experienced fathers hitting their mothers

• From violent neighborhoods

• Separated or not married

In What Percentage of Your Clients Do You Suspect That Child Abuse Is

Occurring?

Survey Question # 6 (17 of 21 responded)

Survey Question # 6Do you suspect there is Child Abuse?

• 17 people of 21 in the survey sample responded

• 29 % suspect child abuse is occurring in 50% or more of their cases

• 59 % don’t believe there is child abuse occurring

Society, Values and Norms

• “Because of societal changes, group values and norms have become more relative and less binding…since survival is no longer dependent on close family ties.”

• Samuel Slipp, M.D., “Healing the Gender Wars,” Jason Aronson, Inc., New York, 1996, p. 19.

• Intermarriage among socioeconomic/racial/religious/ethnic…• What do the respective in-laws think about that?? How might they play

apart of one’s intermarried family life??

PROS AND CONS OF EMPLOYING MEDIATION WHEN SETTLING DISPUTES OVER CUSTODY, PARENTING TIME, AND FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS

FOR PARENTS WITH AN ABUSE HISTORY

• Mediation is mandated in 33 states for contested custody and visitation cases. Pertinent issues in the debate focus on whether mediation is empowering or disempowering to abused parents and whether the process pushes for reconciliation of the parents’ disputes, leaving the more vulnerable parent at a disadvantage.

• Ideas on the following slides are taken from: (1) Newmark, L, Harrell, A., & Salen, P. (1994). Domestic

violence and empowerment in custody and visitation cases. The Urban Institute(2) Pagelow, M.D. (1990). Effects of domestic violence on children and their consequences for custody and visitation agreements. Mediation Quarterly, 7(4), 347-363.

PROS OF MEDIATION WHEN SETTLING DISPUTES

OVER CUSTODY, PARENTING TIME, AND FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS FOR PARENTS WITH AN ABUSE HISTORY:

• Mediation is quicker and cheaper, reducing the financial burden, angst, and blame/bitterness between the parents. This may be critical in working with PV couples.

• Mediation may result in a referral to counseling or other forms of treatment for the abuser.

• Mediators are more skilled in detecting violence and managing the signs of intimidation, etc. than attorneys.

• Abusers and victims do not always have to be in the same room in order to accomplish the tasks related to mediation.

CONS OF MEDIATION WHEN SETTLING DISPUTES

OVER CUSTODY, PARENTING TIME, AND FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS FOR PARENTS WITH AN ABUSE HISTORY

• Abused parent can be intimidated based on history of abuse: fear of physical harm previous psychological abuse, economic dependence, and traditional patriarchal views.

• Since PV is not always reported, the mediator may not know that PV tactics are at work in the process, leaving the abused parent vulnerable.

• Abuser may use the children and the mediation process to continue access (harassment, harm, etc.) to the other parent (which may have been the very reason to end the marriage).

USING MEDIATION WITH VIOLENT PARENTS IN CUSTODY DISPUTES: POTENTIAL COMPROMISES TO *ŧ

• Interview each parent separately and screen for domestic violence.

• Establish the consent of both parties to engage in mediation.

• Establish the safest format for the dispute settlement process.

• Use a trained DV specialist, also trained in mediation.• Abuser required to be in treatment concurrently or within

past 6 months. • Mediator provides mechanisms to correct imbalance in

power.* Note that partner violence is an insidious problem with many faces, including a variety of frequencies, severity,

duration, family of origin influences, and personality characteristics. All factors must be taken into account before concluding as to the vehicle to be used in settling custody, visitation, and financial matters related to divorce.

ŧ Ideas from this slide were generated from Pagelow, M.D. (1990). Effects of domestic violence on children and their consequences for custody and visitation agreements. Mediation Quarterly, 7(4), 347-363.

Domestic Abuse: 1 of 5

Student’s Thoughts on Prevention and ProtocolsMark Roseman, Lecturer, Human Development and Family Studies,University of Rhode IslandFall/Winter 2002

Education:

Educate teens about dangers of abuse.Prevent anger related attacks by providing anger management classes before they are in stress related situations.

Michelle S.

Reduce incidents of domestic violence by having couples “take course before getting married.”

Diane S.

Domestic Abuse:

Student’s Thoughts on Prevention and Protocols

2 of 5

Victims “…feel it’s a personal matter and so many people don’t take advantage of opportunities to learn about conflict resolution, anger management and domestic violence.”

Jackie B., Ashleigh E., Jennifer C.

“I don’t feel there is any (really) way to stop it. That you can’t help who ya (sic) fall in love with. If you fall in love with the person, it may be hard for you to leave.”

Christine W.

Can be dangerous for children who live in abusive households.

“if they go home and tell their abusive parent what they learned in school, they are instantly putting themselves at risk for a potentially violent situation towards them or the other parent.”

Brook S.

“Parents need to realize the effect that their own violent relationship can have on their children.”

Erin L.





“These kids need to know it’s wrong. If they don’t know it’s wrong, then they may never tell anyone and then one day, it may be too late.”

Kristen L.

Children “learn what they see.”

Pam A., 2002

What children see at home, they will do to society.

Karl Menninger, MD, Menninger Clinic 1935

Potential For Recession Related Family Breakdown in 2009

• MEN• Loss of Job Low self-esteem

Victim of SocietyPowerlessness

Paranoia

Richard Gelles, Ph.D., Sociology Dept., URI

Let the public know “that no one needs to stay in a violent relationship.”

E. Lebron

People need to know that “abuse is as real as any other major issue in the world today, and although it may not be affecting you, there is a huge possibility that it is affecting someone you know.”

Beth Wilmarth

