Class 21 OnlineEWRT 1A

AGENDA

Sentence StrategiesSelf Assessment Prepare the final draft

Work through slides 12-19 to prepare your essay for the in-class writing workshop. The essay you bring to class should be ready to submit for a grade.

Review Material Included: MLAIntegrating and Citing SourcesWorks Cited Page

Sentence Strategy:Writing Better

Sentences

Avoiding Ambiguous Use of “This” and “That”

The Problem: Because you must frequently refer to the problem and the solution in a proposal, you will often use pronouns to avoid the monotony or wordiness of repeatedly referring to them by name. Using this and that vaguely to refer to other words or ideas, however, can confuse readers.

How to Correct It.

Add a specific noun after this or that. For example, in his essay in this chapter, Patrick O’Malley writes: Another possible solution would be to help students

prepare for midterm and final exams by providing sets of questions from which the exam questions will be selected. . . . This solution would have the advantage of reducing students’ anxiety about learning every fact in the textbook. . . . (par. 12)

O’Malley avoids an ambiguous this in the second sentence by repeating the noun “solution.”

(He might just as well have used preparation or action or approach.)

Look for ambiguous uses of “this” and “that” in your essay

Revising Sentences that Lack an Agent

The Problem: A writer proposing a solution to a problem usually needs to indicate who exactly should take action to solve it. Such actors—those who are in a position to take action—are called “agents.” Look, for example, at this sentence from O’Malley’s proposal: To get students to complete the questions in a timely way, professors

would have to collect and check the answers. (par. 11) In this sentence, professors are the agents. They have the authority

to assign and collect study questions, and they would need to take this action in order for this solution to be successfully implemented.

Had O’Malley instead written “the answers would have to be collected and checked,” the sentence would lack an agent. Failing to name an agent would have made his argument less convincing, because it would have left unclear one of the key parts of any proposal: Who is going to take action.

How to Correct It

When you revise your work, ask yourself who or what performed the action in any given sentence. If there is no clear answer, rewrite the sentence to give it an agent. Watch in particular for forms of the verb to be (the balls were dropped, exams should be given, etc.), which often signal agentless sentences.

Look for sentences lacking agents in your own essay

Examples

Preparing the final draftWork through the slides to prepare your essay for the in-class writing workshop. The essay you bring to class should be ready to submit for a grade.

The Beginning

Have I begun my essay with hook or another interesting beginning?

Did I begin with a scenario, statistics, a research study, or an analogy?

Did I use a comparison to other places where the solution has been tried successfully, give a preview of the negative consequences if the problem goes unsolved, or lead with a criticism of an alternative solution?

Or, did I use another appropriate beginning?

Clarifying Your Purpose and Audience

Have I determined what my readers already know about this problem? If my readers are unfamiliar with it, have I clearly explained the problem? If my readers know about the problem but do not realize how serious it is, have I convinced them that it is serious?

Have I gained readers’ enthusiastic support? Have I convince them that solving the problem is in everyone’s interest, as O’Malley and Kornbluh try to do?

Have I presented myself so that I seem both reasonable and authoritative?

Defining the Problem Have I demonstrated that the problem really exists?

Have I presented statistics, as Kornbluh does? Have I shown the seriousness and urgency of the

problem? Have I stressed the negative consequences? Have I used quotations or cited research to stress the problem’s importance?

Have I speculated about the problem’s causes or history to help readers understand why it needs attention? Can I use comparison and contrast, as Kornbluh does?

Have I devoted enough space to defining the problem? Is my entire description of the problem before the thesis, as it should be?

Describing the Proposed Solution

Have I described my solution so that it looks like the best way to proceed?

Have I given examples to show how solutions like mine have worked? Or have I focused on my reasons to support my solution, as O’Malley does?

Have I made the solution seem easy to implement, as O’Malley does, or have I acknowledged that the solution will require effort and compromise, as Kornbluh does?

Counterarguing Readers’ Objections

Have I included the best objections?Do I need to accommodate or concede

certain objections by modifying my proposal, as O’Malley does?

Have I supported any refutations I have made? Have I cited statistics or research studies to do so? Should I get more evidence?

Alternative Solutions

Have I mentioned the best alternative solutions?Have I supported my refutation of alternative

solutions? Have I argued that they are too expensive and time-consuming, or that they will not really solve the problem?

Have I rejected these other solutions without seeming to criticize their proponents?

Have I provided reasons, as O’Malley does, or marshaled statistics, as Kornbluh does?

The Ending

Have I included an appropriate ending? Have I ended by summarizing my solution and its

advantages, Have I ended with a scenario suggesting the

consequences of a failure to solve the problem? Have I ended with an inspiring call to action? Might a

shift to humor or satire provide an effective ending? Have I reminded readers of something special about

the problem, as Kornbluh does when she urges that an award be given to the companies that lead the way?

For your convenience

In-text CitationsIntegration of Quotations

Works Cited Page Formatting

In-Text Citations

In-Text Quotations At the Beginning

“Kitten season is overwhelming, crowded, and very hectic. I can be examining one cat and there will be 10 or more waiting for me with more coming in one after the other on the other side of the exam room door. It's never-ending and it affects the cats. They pick up on the stress we feel," says Christa Raymond, a lead veterinary technician in the Animal Humane Society (“Cats in Crisis”).

In the Middle

In any given shelter, they are supposed to hold “strays up to only 5 days” according to animal shelter specialist Stephanie Watson (6).

At the End

According to Green Eco Services, “75% of Americans admit to littering within the past five years.”

Divided by Your Own Words

“We are always telling people about spay/neuter,” says Kit Belcher, the executive director of Beltrami Humane Society, and “[t]he responsibility starts the day the animal is born, but many don’t accept the responsibility” (“Spaying/Neutering” 14).

Write four sentences that integrate your textual evidence into your essay: Put one quotation at the beginning, one in the middle, one at the end, and

one broken by your own words. Remembering just a few simple rules can help you use the correct

punctuation as you introduce quotations.

o Rule 1: Complete sentence: "quotation." (If you use a complete sentence to introduce a quotation, use a colon (:) just before the quotation.)

o  Rule 2: Someone says, "quotation." (If the word just before the quotation is a verb indicating someone uttering the quoted words, use a comma. Examples include the words "says," "said," "states," "asks," and "yells."

o Rule 3: Ending with that “quotation.” (There is no punctuation if the word "that" comes just before the quotation, as in "the narrator says that.") 

o And remember that a semicolon (;) never is used to introduce quotations.

Block Quotations In the MLA style, use the block form for prose quotations of more

than four typed lines. Indent the quotation an inch (ten character spaces) from the left margin, as shown in the following example. Double space, just as you do in your paper.

US Surgeon General Regina Benjamin has, in essence, supported this position:

Americans will be more likely to change their behavior if they have a meaningful reward--something more than just reaching a certain weight or dress size. The real reward is invigorating, energizing, joyous health. It is a level of health that allows people to embrace each day and live their lives to the fullest without disease or disability.

Practice integrating one long quotation (four or more lines) into

your essay. Indent the quotation an inch (ten character spaces) from

the left margin, as shown in the following example. Double space, just as you do in your paper.

Remember these rules:• Rule 1: Complete sentence: "quotation." (If you use a complete sentence

to introduce a quotation, use a colon (:) just before the quotation.)•  Rule 2: Someone says, "quotation." (If the word just before the quotation

is a verb indicating someone uttering the quoted words, use a comma. Examples include the words "says," "said," "states," "asks," and "yells."

• Rule 3: Ending with that “quotation.” (There is no punctuation if the word "that" comes just before the quotation, as in "the narrator says that.")

Citing Summarized Material

Currently, the law states that the speed limit in a residential area is 25 miles per hour unless posted otherwise (California Driver Handbook).

Since Generation X, major food corporations have peddled addicting junk food to children from their birth. This has helped to create the worst obesity epidemic in human history (Fox).

Despite euthanasia being the very last method to make room in the shelter, 70 percent of the 3 to 4 million pets euthanized nationwide are cats (“Pet Statistics”).

Integrate information from your sources into your essay using summarized material.

Summarizing involves putting an idea into your own words. Summaries are significantly shorter than an original text. It is a good idea to summarize material when you want to briefly discuss the main idea(s) of a longer piece. Summarizing allows you to discuss central points without reproducing multiple quotation from a single source. Remember, it is necessary to attribute summarized ideas to the original source; that is, you must cite even summarized material.

Punctuating within QuotationsAlthough punctuation within a quotation should reproduce the original, some adaptations may be necessary. Use single quotation marks for quotations within the quotation:

Original from David Guterson’s Family Matters (pages 16 – 17) E. D. Hirsch also recognizes the connection between family and learning,

suggesting in his discussion of family background and academic achievement “that the significant part of our children’s education has been going on outside rather than inside the schools.”

Quoted Version Guterson claims that E. D. Hirsch “also recognizes the connection

between family and learning, suggesting in his discussion of family background and academic achievement ‘that the significant part of our children’s education has been going on outside rather than inside the schools’ ” (16-17).

Punctuation If the quotation ends with a question mark or an

exclamation point, retain the original punctuation:“Did you think I loved you?” Edith later

asks Dombey (566). If a quotation ending with a question mark or an

exclamation point concludes your sentence, retain the question mark or exclamation point, and put the parenthetical reference and sentence period outside the quotation marks:Edith later asks Dombey, “Did you think I

loved you?” (566).

Avoiding Grammatical Tangles

When you incorporate quotations into your writing, and especially when you omit words from quotations, you run the risk of creating ungrammatical sentences. Three common errors you should try to avoid are verb incompatibility and ungrammatical omissions.

Verb Incompatibility. When this error occurs, the verb form in the

introductory statement is grammatically incompatible with the verb form in the quotation. When your quotation has a verb form that does not fit in with your text, it is usually possible to use just part of the quotation, thus avoiding verb incompatibility.

As this sentence illustrates, use the present tense when you refer to events in a literary work.

Ungrammatical Omission Sometimes omitting text from a quotation leaves you with an

ungrammatical sentence. Two ways of correcting the grammar are (1) adapting the quotation (with brackets) so that its parts fit together grammatically and (2) using only one part of the quotation.

Check your integrated quotations

for grammatical tangles

Look for these problemsverb incompatibilityungrammatical omissions

ReviewWorks Cited

How to make your page

All of the information on the next slides can be found on the “MLA Help” link on the homepage of our website. This will take you to Purdue Owl. Here is the link just in case: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/

1” Margins all around

Alphabetical Order Title Centered

Five spaces

Works Cited

Last Name 1

Bagchi, Alaknanda. "Conflicting Nationalisms: The Voice of the Subaltern in

Mahasweta Devi's Bashai Tudu." Tulsa Studies in Women's Literature, vol.

15, no. 1, 1996, pp. 41-50.

The Bible. Authorized King James Version, Oxford UP, 1998.

Henley, Patricia. The Hummingbird House. MacMurray, 1999.

Zinkievich, Craig. Interview by Gareth Von Kallenbach. Skewed & Reviewed, 27

Apr. 2009,

www.arcgames.com/en/games/star-trek-online/news/detail/1056940-

skewed-%2526-reviewed-interviews-craig. Accessed 15 Mar. 2009.

Website

Book

Periodical

Specific version

The blogging post points (150) require self-assessment. Consider three aspects of your responses: First, how many of the posts did you make? Second, what was the quality of your response? Third, how timely were your submissions? Write a paragraph justifying your grade. Submit your self-assessment via Kaizena as soon as you finish today’s post; you must send it before our final meeting. The formula is on the next slide.

Reminder: Self-Assessment

Here is the Math!See the Assignment Sheet for More Details

Your final grade will be figured this way: 150/26 =5.77 points per post minus 2.88 points for each late post (48 hours after the due time. There are no points awarded for posts more than 48 hours late). Then, multiply the total times the average grade percentage for the quality of your work.

Example

Posts completed: 25 x 5.77 points = 144.25 points

Late posts: 4 x 2.88 =11.52

Subtract the smaller from the larger: 144.25 – 11.52= 132.73

Quality of posts: A or 95% (Quality only exceeds 95% if you have positive comments from me.)

Multiply the total times the quality: 132.73 x.95=126.09 or 126/150 points.

HomeworkCheck your essay for ambiguity. Add words to clarify “this” and “that.”Check your sentences for “agents.” Make sure you have an actor in each sentence. Bring one clean, hard copy of your final essay to class. An Electronic Copy will not do for this exercise!

• Your essay should be in MLA format

• It should include a works cited page

Self Assessment Due via Kaizena before our last face to face meeting