A Letter from our LeAder

GLAko (GreetinGs) feLLow mArtiAns! this bookLet is pArt of your Guide to pLAnet eArth. it must be reAd by ALL of the invAsion force teAm. fAiLure to reAd the Guide couLd spoiL our invAsion. fAiLure to reAd ALL of the 2,600 bookLets wiLL resuLt in beinG ZApped (which stinGs A Lot!). you hAve been wArned!!

this informAtion wiLL enAbLe you to set up A poLiticAL pArty of your own And tAke controL of the entire eArth. country by country!!

vALkoi (hoorAy) for mArs!!siGned in bLoodkruG 4LeAder of mArs

its just A tiny spec!

As it sAid in our LeAders

Letter, northern ireLAnd is where weLL stArt our invAsion!

this is whAt it Looks Like from mArs!

no! thAts eArth. now if we mAGnify it Another 46,000,000 times we cAn see the northern pArt of the isLAnd weLL AttAck!

its the shApe of A mArtiAn nApsop!*

1,763,468 1/2 eArthLinGs Live there! there Are 2

bAsic sorts...

just two!

weird!

...men!... ...And women!

if were to disGuise ourseLves As eArthLinGs weLL need to weAr body

suits! wAtch this mAke-over by GAk won!

hi mArtiAn friends! weLcome to how to Look Good

As An eArthLinG!

this is Zimos who wiLL Love his new eArth

bod!

*fried eGG

*hA! hA! hA!

2

weird!

weLL mArtiAn friend. this body suit is GoinG to Look sooo Good

on you!

WestTyrone

Strangford

NorthAntrim

EastAntrim

SouthAntrim

SouthDown

North Down

UpperBann

LaganValley

Mid Ulster

Newry &Armagh

EastLondondonderry

Foyle

Fermanagh &Soth Tyrone

1

324

1. Belfast North2. Belfast East3. Belfast South4. Belfast West

WestTyrone

Strangford

NorthAntrim

EastAntrim

SouthAntrim

SouthDown

North Down

UpperBann

LaganValley

Mid Ulster

Newry &Armagh

EastLondondonderry

Foyle

Fermanagh &Soth Tyrone

1

324

1. Belfast North2. Belfast East3. Belfast South4. Belfast West

perfect!

now A LittLe bit of fLesh coLoured pAint...

...some deLish cLothes, wiG...

...now, the biG Question - do you Look Good As

An eArthLinG?

no!

so you see, we cAn disGuise our invAsion force As puny

eArthLinGs?

seems Like A Lot of troubLe. why not just invAde And crush the puny eArthLinGs?

its better to tAke controL from within their Governments. we cAn mAke LAws thAt fAvour us! vioLence never

works! remember pLAnet ZiG 3?

yeh! 425 yeArs of wAr!

to fit into their Government weLL need to know how the whoLe thinG

works And win eLections!

we oriGinALLy beLieved thAt eArthLinGs

were divided into

constituencies for eLections!

i feeL sick!

but thAt wAs wronG! its their LAnd which is divided into

constituencies!

3

there Are 18 of them And eAch eLects 6 eArthLinGs to speAk

on their behALf!

why dont they use the GiAnt mouth

And eAr?

fAct fiLe no. 18076. the GiAnt mouth And eAr is A compLex device which ALLows every mArtiAn to hAve their sAy which is heArd by A meGA computer which runs the

pLAnet!

everyone knows thAt!

even i knew thAt!

it seems the bAckwArd

eArthLinGs dont hAve A GiAnt mouth

And eAr or A meGA computer to run their

country!

so does thAt meAn the eArthLinGs who Get eLected hAve to run

the country?

yes!

...And do the eLected eArthLinGs hAve to

Listen to the eArthLinGs who eLected them?

yes!

*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA!

*hA! hA! hA! hA!

*hA! hA! hA! hA! etc

4

the eLected eArthLinGs Are known As mLAs which stAnds for member of the

LeGisLAtive AssembLy.

how mAny of them Are there?

here Are the numbers!

18 COnStitUenCieS X 6 Mlas 108 tOtal Mlas.

so how mAny eArthLinGs

does eAch mLA represent?

POPUlatiOn =

1,763,086 divided

by 108 Mlas =

16,324.875

simpLe - divide the popuLAtion by 108 mLAs.

our brAins teAm hAs decided thAt since the mLAs Are the eArthLinGs who

mAke LAws And decide how the country

is run...

it seems thAt the best wAy to become An mLA is to be pArt of A poLiticAL pArty. our brAins teAm thouGht thAt wAs

some sort of event with dAncinG And GLuG, but thAt wAs wronG!!...then

we need to be mLAs!

exActLy!

Aw!

CREATE YOUR OWN PARTY.

GIVE ITA NAME.

on eArth A poLiticAL pArty is A Group of eArthLinGs who ALL beLieve in the

sAme thinGs!

AGes AGo on mArs, before the GiAnt mouth & eAr,

there were 2 pArties. the GLum pArty who beLieved

mArtiAns shouLd work for 27 hours of our 28

hour dAy...

...And the Zippy pArty who beLieved we shouLd onLy work for 4 hours. thAts why no mArtiAns voted for the GLum

pArty!

whAts votinG?

thAts how eArthLinGs eLect other eArthLinGs. they vote for them!

so its Like me sAyinG i choose you to

represent me.

*hA! hA!

5

votinG hAppens At A poLLinG stAtion And the votes Are mAde in secret

so no other eArthLinG knows who

voted for who! Look!

*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA!

our poLiticAL pArty needs to be popuLAr if its to Get Lots

of votes!

how on mArs wiLL we do thAt?

we need to hAve poLicies* which wiLL be popuLAr with the mAjority of

eArthLinGs!

so were GoinG to teLL the stupid

eArthLinGs thinGs thAtLL mAke them Like our pArty And vote for us!

exActLy! the brAins teAm hAve mAde A List of thinGs which the eArthLinGs wiLL Love!

OUR PaRty believeS eveRy eaRthling ShOUld have ShORteR wORking hOURS lOngeR hOlidayS MORe PaPeR StUff (MOney) a fRee hOUSe a fRee nOn hOveR CaR

there! thAt shouLd mAke them vote for us! Arf!

*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA!

*poLicy - A List of ideAs

6just think, those stupid eArthLinGs wiLL vote for members of our pArty And weLL hAve Lots

of mLAs!

umm! remind me why we wAnt to be

mLAs!

mLAs - (members of the

LeGisLAtive AssembLy)

Are the puny eArthLinGs with the power to

mAke LAws!

*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA!

And our *mif pArty wAnt to mAke LAws whichLL mAke the eArthLinGs

hAppy???!

thAts whAt we wAnt

them to think!

(whisper!) shush! were GoinG to mAke the Green skin LAw!!

whisper! whAts thAt?

onLy Green skinned beinGs wouLd be ALLowed to hAve

houses, money, etc And everyone eLse wiLL hAve to be their

sLAves!

*hA! hA! hA! hA! hA! hA!

the probLem is thAt mAkinG LAws is reALLy hArd! A new LAw hAs to be suGGested As A biLL! we were toLd thAt biLL wAs An eArthLinGs nAme. the mArtiAn who Got thAt wronG hAs

just been teLeported to the dreAded pLAnet.

so how on mArs do we Get A biLL

proposed?

weLL thAts where our mLAs Get busy! Look we bouGht A book on AmAZeon. it shows us whAt An mLA does!

korks!

iLL reAd it

out!

Let us stArt on fridAy. thAts the dAy i meet my hAppy constituents. they teLL me their probLems.

the pLAnes fLy so Low over my house, one hit me on the

heAd!

And i think we need to stop peopLe smokinG in pubLic pLAces coZ even my doGGie trixie is GettinG A smokers

couGh!

QUiCkQUiZ

hOw Many MlaS

aRe theRe?

a) 90b) 180C) 3d) 108e) 900,000

QUiZ (nOt QUiCk)

HOW WOULD YOU GET PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR YOU? WRITE DOWN THREE THINGS

*mif - mArtiAn invAsion force

7i then Answered Lots of Letters And emAiLs from

my constituents.

met with business peopLe to tALk About A new roAd

for our AreA!

wAs Guest speAker At our nice new

community centre

its smALL!

At the weekend i did Lots of thinGs in my constituency And

my constituent wAs riGht!

i noticed thAt here were A Lot of peopLe

smokinG in pubLic.

so on mondAy i set off to the AssembLy with the ideA thAt id propose A new biLL - the stop smokinG in

pubLic biLL

in the morninG i sAt in the pLenAry in the chAmber. there wAs A biG debAte About wAter chArGes.

in the Afternoon i wrote the outLine

of my proposed biLL. it wAs 5067 pAGes

LonG.

on tuesdAy i spent the whoLe dAy in the pLenAry. this

time the debAte wAs About budGets.

At A committee meetinG on wednesdAy i Questioned A

minister About one of his biLLs. it wAs GreAt! i feLt Like A

teAcher mArkinG his homework! mLAs need to mAke sure thAt

there Are no mistAkes...

...or check the thinGs thAt miGht not work in A biLL before it cAn be A LAw! so we Ask Lots of Questions.

h2o money!

but we need more money!

whAt Are LAws?

theyre the ruLes thAt ALL

eArthLinGs hAve to

obey!

8on wednesdAy i ALso sit on A committee which is LookinG At A biLL About the environment. we hAd ALL sorts of experts Give

us Advice!

on thursdAy i sAt on A committee which Looked At

my stop smokinG in pubLic pLAces biLL.

ALso hAd Lots of meetinGs with

experts And peopLe the biLL wouLd

Affect!.

my biLL meAnt Lots of time spent At Lots

of meetinGs...

...untiL it wAs finALLy AGreed by the AssembLy And Got royAL Assent. it

then becAme A LAw!

thAt Looks Like A Lot of hArd

work!

there must be An eAsier

wAy!

fAct fiLe no. 19031/2. A biLL is An ideA for A new LAw. it cAn be proposed (put

forwArd) by:

since the ministers seem to hAve the best chAnce of mAkinG new LAws hAppen, mArtiAn commAnd wAnt Lots of our mLAs to be

ministers!

yeh, but whAt Are they?

A minister is An mLA who Gets An extrA job -

they Are in chArGe of A Government depArtment!

A whAt?

gOveRnMent dePaRtMentS:

eAch of the Government depArtments is run by A minister from one of the

poLiticAL pArties!

exActLy! And theyre ALL heAded up by the 1st minister And deputy

1st minister.

Look

health tRanSPORt agRiCUltURe enviROnMent finanCe ROadS aRtS bUSineSS edUCatiOn hOUSing JUStiCe

Can yOU find OUt?

USE THE INTERNET TO FIND OUT THE NAMES OF ALL THE MINISTERS.

9thAt entire Group of ministers is

cALLed the executive committee And they come up with most of

the new LAws And run everythinG!

we wAnt to be them!

just think! if we hAve Lots of mLAs And ministers we cAn hAve more power in the AssembLy.

the whAt?

mLAs pAss LAws in the Assemby.

ooh riGht sorry! Got mixed up.

so, where do they ALL work?

they hAve A biG pLAce cALLed pArLiAment

buiLdinGs. the mLAs meet in the AssembLy

chAmber

the speAker is one of the most importAnt peopLe in the AssembLy. his job is to controL ALL the debAtes in

the AssembLy chAmber!

he decides whAt biLLs wiLL be

discussed, mAkes sure the mLAs

foLLow the ruLes, Looks After votinG...

...seLects Questions And...

why were those mLAs shoutinG Aye At the

speAker?

i pity the mArtiAn who

Gets his job!

its the oLd fAshioned

wAy of sAyinG youre votinG

yes.

so they sAy

no, if theyre votinG no

no! fAct fiLe no. 168. durinG the 2nd worLd wAr pArLiAment buiLdinGs

wAs pAinted bLAck usinG tAr And cow poo! this wAs to hide it from GermAn pLAnes thAt bombed beLfAst!

no!

Aye!

no!

no!

Aye!

Gross!

Aye!no!

Aye!

no!Aye!no!

QUiCkQUiZ

hOw Many

Mlas aRe needed fOR a

MaJORity

?

ALert! ALert! we hAve just picked up this tv broAdcAst for kids!

ZoominG throuGh spAce At A terrific

pAce...

...their mission - to Question A GirL cALLed

GrAce.

...A spAceship from A fAr off pLAce...

...on boArd - bLue beinGs from Another rAce...

to find out About mLAs And their bAse!

hey GrAce, whAts An mLA And whAts thAt pLAce?

A member of the LeGisLAtive

AssembLy And thAts pArLiAment buiLdinGs - their bAse!

And whAt do mLAs

do, GrAce?

they mAke northern ireLAnd A better pLAce!

And how do they do thAt, GrAce?

they meet peopLe fAce to fAce, Listen to their

ideAs And mAke A cAse...

...which they present in this pLAce!

LAws Get mAde which is reALLy

Ace!

it mAkes Life Good And we ALL embrAce!

in thAt cAse we wont ZAp your rAce. we respect peopLe who

improve their pLAce!

And with A smiLe they disAppeAred without A trAce!

10

those were pLutoniAns from pLuto!! you cAnt beLieve A

word they sAy! theyLL be bAck And theyLL ZAp ALL the puny

eArthLinGs!

whAtLL we do?

we hAve no choice. weLL hAve to AttAck

first!

*Zowie!wiLL i sound the bAttLe ship ALert And fire up the

deAth rAy?

no! whAt did we AGree About not usinG vioLence And ALL the tALk About usinGs poLitics to

tAke controL!?

oops! sorry, Got excited!

riGht, Lets think. is there AnythinG we hAvent hAd time to LeArn? i know! Lets not tAke chAnces. weLL brinG the Archie 6 with us!

theyre proGrAmmed to know ALL About

poLitics!

youre jokinG! theyre just A bunch of tin droners!

we resent thAt!

there Are 108 mLAs!fiZZ!

the AssembLy chAmber is

bLue!fiZZ!

the Good fridAy

AGreement wAs siGned in 1998!fiZZ!

the speAker chAirs ALL

the meetinGs in the

AssembLy chAmber!

fiZZ!

mLA stAnds for member

of the LeGisLAtive AssembLy!

fiZZ!

there Are 18

constituencies

i just Got A teLecALL! not mAny mArtiAns wAnt to Go At the moment. they sAy

its the wet seAson! whAtLL we do?

theres onLy one thinG for it!

whAtLL we do when we tAke over?

weLL use up ALL their money

then weLL seLL them As sLAves

to A mininG pLAnet!

exceLLent im LookinG forwArd to

LAndinG.

11

our eArthLinGs!

IF YOU WOULD LI

KE

TO JOIN THE MA

RTIAN

INVASION FORCE

PLEASE COMPLETE

THE TESTS WHICH

FOLLOW TO QUA

LIFY

VOP!**TA

*Gosh

TICK EITHER THE YES OR NO BOX UNDER EACH IDEA. FOR THOSE THAT YOU TICK YES, FILL IN THE AMOUNT BOX WITH THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU ARE GOING TO SPEND ON THAT PROJECT AND THEN WRITE A FEW WORDS AS TO WHY YOU DECIDED THAT.

Minister for Education Wants 5,000 for a schools anti-bullying programme

Yes No Amount

Explain your decision

Lets pretend youre the minister of finAnce. hes the eArthLinG in chArGe of the AssembLys

money.

heres the 10,000 eArthLinG pounds you cAn spend on

projects next yeAr.

youve Asked the other ministers to teLL you whAt projects they hAve And how much money they need.

so whAts my tAsk?

you hAve to decide which projects Get money And

how much they Get.

And i cAn Give them Any Amount of money.

exActLy. here Are the projects.

Good Luck!

1.2.3.4...

*snAZ!

test 1

did you know

thAt the niA

minister

of finAnce

hAs to

decide

how moneyis spenteAch yeAr?

Minister for Employment and LearningWants 4,000 for a programme to help retrain the unemployed

Yes No Amount

Explain your decision

Are you Good enouGh

to be pArt of the

mArtiAn invAsion force?

*eAsy!

Gosh!

12

Total Explain how you chose which project to give the most money to and why.

Project

Reasons

Minister for the EnvironmentWants 6,000 for a recycling programme

Yes No Amount

Explain your decision

Minister for HealthWants 7,000 for an anti-drugs campaign

Yes No Amount

Explain your decision

Minister for Social DevelopmentWants 10,000 for bene ts to stop older people living in poverty

Yes No Amount

Explain your decision

did you know thAt the reAL minister for finAnce in the AssembLy, with the heLp of the other ministers And members of the

AssembLy, hAs to decide eAch yeAr how to spend miLLions of pounds fAirLy Across the whoLe of northern ireLAnd?

test 1

Gosh i didnt know thAt!

13

Clue: The world around usT RClue: Gets you from A to B

SClue: Keeps you t!

T

AClue: Farming

R C U

T E V N T

test 2

HClue: Are you feeling well?

H E D CClue: Learning

the northern

ireLAnd

AssembLy

mAkes

decisions

About...

our LeAder, kruG 4, needs to know some of the AreAs the AssembLy cAn mAke decisions About. your 2nd test is to

compLete the words And drAw A picture in eAch box.

Gosh! okAy, iLL try my very best.

14

Who are the 6 MLAs in your constituency? Which parties are they from?

What committees do they sit on?

What is happening this week in the Northern Ireland Assembly?

What is the role of the Speaker?

he ALso wAnts you to print or drAw A picture on eAch of the foLLowinG topics.

usinG the niA website wiLL mAke

it eAsier.

info!drAw! check.

kruG 4 wAnts more info on how the

northern ireLAnd AssembLy works. so your 3rd tAsk is to compLete this report usinG the northern ireLAnd AssembLy website.

test 3

* www.niAssembLy.Gov.uk drAw in boxes beLow

15

to test if you know About where youLL be GoinG youve Got to prove you know About the AreA. so youve Got to shAde in your constituency

And mArk the LocAtion of the schooL youre GoinG to. ALso you

need to mArk the LocAtion of mAjor towns And cities.

16

to mAke sure you know whAt your constituency Looks Like. drAw one of the LAndmArks.

i couLd drAw A buiLdinG

or stAtue or A mountAin

or...

your finAL tAsk is to decide which LAws you pLAn to mAke to keep the eArthLinGs hAppy And why you think

the eArthLinGs wiLL be hAppy.

new law

a law tO ......................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

......................................................................................

why eaRthlingS will like yOUR law

eaRthlingS will be haPPy beCaUSe ...............................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

..........................................................................................

test 4

*friZ

*simpLe