Ownership
BusinessFamily
From Davis and Taguiri
FB
FO BO
FBO
Family Business: the Three Circle Model
FBO – family members who work in the business and own shares in itFB – family members who work in the business, but don’t own a share in itFO – family members who own shares in the business, but don’t work in itBO – non-family employees who own shares in the business
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1. We’ve never done it that way
2. It won’t work here
3. We’ve tried it before
4. There isn’t enough money
5. I won’t be allowed to do that
6. Too expensive
7. We’re not ready for it yet
8. Good idea, in practice it’s different
9. I’m a great ideas person but….
10. I’m not capable of doing the job
11. Too complicated, no-one
understands
12. My family won’t allow it
13. No-one else is doing this
14. Too much research needed
15. My ideas are always too early
16. Someone else is doing it
Sayings Valerie has heard and collected in Family Businesses
17. It’s not clear enough
18. I’m sure there are better ways than
that
19. The husband won’t like it
20. The wife won’t like it
21. The parents won’t like it
22. The family won’t like it
23. The competition won’t like it
24. It goes against the rules
25. It’s against my religion
26. We haven’t considered it sufficiently
27. If it was that good someone would
already be doing it
17. Let’s not step on their toes
18. Outside the box
19. Outdated
20. I haven’t time to look into it now
21. You don’t understand the full picture
22. Why start anything now
34. We’re too old for that
35. You’re too young
36. It won’t be used
37. We have too much on now
38. We need to think this through carefully
39. Has anyone else tried it?
40. I can’t see how it could work
41. If it’s not broken don’t fix it
42. We just don’t do that sort of thing
43. What idiot thought that up?
44. I just know it won’t work
45. We must be practical
46. It needs more study
47. I’ll think it over for a bit
48. It’s not really my problem
49. We don’t really need to do it now
50. I’ll shelve it for the time being
I can’t accept the way you did this job.
If you actually did what you said…….
You fail to see what I mean
You misinterpreted my intention
You neglected to get the information I asked you to get
You were wrong in thinking that
You did do this right…..but
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ANGER EXPLOSIONS – letting off steam – but hurting others
OVERWORKING – risks your wellbeing, family and others
OVER-CONTROLLING – rigid mastery over things and people
DOMINATING OTHERS – especially family members in the workplace
TAKING ON OTHERS’ BURDENS – leads to being a martyr and making others dependant
MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS - Creates unnecessary distress to you and others
DEFENSIVENESS – lash-out reactions (stems from feeling insecure)
FOOLISH RISK TAKING – push things beyond reasonable limits, risk – threaten life, limb,
business and/or finance
AGGRESSION – abuse of others verbal, mental or physical
ANGER-PASSION – comes out indirectly and often dishonestly through putdowns and sabotage
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Condescending
Aloof
Secretive
Evasive
Eager
Relentless
Annoying
Caring
Approachable
Sharing
Engaged
Eased
Relaxed
Appealing
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Discomfort
Incident
Misunderstanding
Tension
CRISIS
X
X
X
X
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PastFuture
Stuck
Build on- challenging experiences
Project- what you would like to happen!
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Here and now
“in” the present
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Ask a Question
Use humour
Ask them to
positively rephrase
Reframe hostile
remarks
Fly the white flag
Change tack
Let some hostile
remarks pass
“Please tell me
what you heard me
say”
Can it be dealt with
privately?
Speak calmly
Agree to discuss
later
Call time-out
Restate what you believe
you heard and
check
Breathe and stay with the
issue
Easy ways Valerie finds useful