Writing GuideTHE DEPARTMENT OF CLASSICS AND ANCIENT HISTORY
Writing A Research EssayA Practical Guide for Students
Julia Kindt
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Writing A Research Essay
A Practical Guide for Students
Julia Kindt
Copyright Julia Kindt
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Table of Contents
Part I: The Research Essay – A Practical Guide Introduction ........................................................................................................................................ 3 1 The Research Essay – Why it Matters .............................................................................. 5 2 Timeline for An Essay ............................................................................................................. 7 3 The Research Essay in Five Steps ...................................................................................... 8 4 Introduction, Conclusion and What Else? ................................................................... 21 5 Further Basics ......................................................................................................................... 28 6 The Footnotes ......................................................................................................................... 33 7 The Bibliography ................................................................................................................... 35 8 Five Dos and Five Don'ts .................................................................................................... 38 9 Procrastination and Writer’s Block ............................................................................... 40 10 On Style .................................................................................................................................... 41 11 Ready for Submission? A Checklist .............................................................................. 47 12 Frequently Asked Questions ........................................................................................... 48 13 Further Reading ................................................................................................................... 52 Conclusion ........................................................................................................................................ 54
Part II: Exercises and Examples 1 Finding and Developing a Research Question ........................................................... 56 2 Deriving a Structure ............................................................................................................. 58 3 The Introduction ................................................................................................................... 59 4 The Thesis Statement .......................................................................................................... 65 5 The Paragraph ......................................................................................................................... 68 6 The Footnotes ......................................................................................................................... 71 7 The Conclusion ....................................................................................................................... 73 8 Giving your Essay a Title .................................................................................................... 75 9 The Bibliography ................................................................................................................... 77 10 Revising and Editing ........................................................................................................... 79 11 Writing a Summary ............................................................................................................. 81 14 Sample Essays and Commentaries ............................................................................... 82
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Introduction
“A writer is someone for whom writing
is more difficult than for other people.”
Thomas Mann
Essays of Three Decades (1947)
A deadline looms – that paper needs writing. You’ve known this for some time, just never actually gotten around to it. There are always other things to do – work to be completed, friends to be seen, life to be lived. Now that it is down to the wire and cannot be ignored, you need to make it happen quickly, but you have no idea where to start and what to say. Sound familiar? This guide offers a succinct, accessible and practical introduction to how to write a persuasive research essay in a limited amount of time. Its overall aim is to give you the skills and confidence to produce an essay and to make the experience and process efficient, successful and perhaps even fun! To that end, this book provides both hands-‐on instructions and a number of practical exercises. Part I gives you an outline of what it takes to research, plan and write a successful research essay. All points are illustrated with examples, allowing you to make the connection between what is said in theory and how things look – or, rather, read – in practice. Part II follows up the same points with exercises you can do on your own, with a writing buddy, or in group discussion. Once you get going, you will find that writing can be extremely engaging, worthwhile, and satisfying – a way of presenting your ideas and thoughts to others and winning them over to your point of view.
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Part I The Research Essay – A Practical Guide
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1 The Research Essay – Why it Matters Writing a research essay may seem daunting at first. It is usually something you are asked or required to do, sapping creative energy at a point when you already feel overburdened with other work. You might have to write several essays at once, or one right after the other, making the whole process seem rote and mechanical rather than creative and engaging. And it does not help that at the end of it all, someone will sit in judgment of your work. Yet think about it: writing a research essay is actually an exciting thing to do. This is your opportunity to do original research, contemplate an issue in depth, and present the results in written form. If you are successful, you convince the reader of your argument, show something new, or change a long-‐held perspective. You have an impact – however small – and you contribute to human knowledge. Surely, this ranks high on any scale of meaningful and worthwhile things? But there’s more. Writing a research essay is a way of expressing your thoughts. Words, and language more generally, are intrinsically bound up with how we perceive the world. Together with spoken conversation, writing is the most influential form of seeing, thinking and explaining. This is why universities and colleges place so much emphasis on essay writing. Researchers routinely publish their work in books, reports and research papers. At least in the Arts and Humanities, the results of academic research cannot be separated from their written form. The book, the report, the research paper is the seeing, thinking and explaining. Academic Essay Writing Writing a research essay involves: 1. Making an argument for or against an idea. 2. Supporting it with evidence. 3. Placing it in the context of an existing scholarly conversation on the topic by citing scholarly works in support of particular points and engaging with other scholars’ positions. 4. Presenting your views in a compelling form that follows the conventions of your discipline. This guide will provide you with useful information about all four dimensions of the essay writing process.
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So: academic writing introduces you to the essentials of how to be a researcher, thinker and writer. Even if a university career is not what you are aiming for, writing matters immensely. To express your thoughts succinctly and persuasively is a useful tool for whatever you do in life – a means to engage in conversation with yourself and others. This book lays out the basics of planning, conceptualizing and writing a research essay. It starts at the beginning – outlining the steps you take to find a research question and refine it. It explains strategies for analysing both primary evidence and other scholars’ work, essentially taking you through the entire research process, from note taking and the ordering of information to the writing of the research paper itself.
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2 Timeline for an Essay How long it takes to complete a research essay depends on a number of factors: length or word count, the amount of research required for a particular project, and prior knowledge in this area. The timeline below is a general guideline, based on regular, medium-‐length undergraduate essays of about 3000-‐5000 words and works with a ten-‐day timeline for researching and writing. This is the bare minimum for writing a research essay; two weeks would be better. And it is not just about the essay: the more time you invest in a given research project, the more you get out of it. Day 1: Find and/or develop a question. Make a list of its different aspects
and dimensions. Start your basic research and note-‐taking by reading a few overview articles in the general field of knowledge. Start compiling a bibliography of important titles on your topic to read in the next few days.
Day 2 Basic research and note-‐taking. Day 3 Basic research and note-‐taking. Day 4 Basic research and note-‐taking. Structure your thoughts and draft
an essay plan or outline. Day 5 Complete your notes by looking up specifics. Start writing. Day 6 Write. Day 7 Write. Day 8 Write. Day 9 Write, revise, and edit your essay. Day 10 Proofread and submit (see the checklist in Part I: Chapter 11). All these steps are discussed in detail in the following chapters.
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3 The Research Essay in Five Steps
Step 1: Finding, Developing and Answering a Research Question Every essay needs a question. Writing a research essay is an exercise in solving a problem, arguing a point and making a case for or against something. It is therefore essential that you have a research question to which you can propose an answer (see also Part I: Chapter 4 on answering your research question in the form of a thesis supported by an argument). So before you start researching and writing your essay, it is worth pausing for a moment and thinking clearly about what you are being asked to do. You may come to an essay question at different stages in the development: 1. Thinking about a set topic/question: Chances are you were given a question or two by your instructor. In this case, it is still important for you to consider the different dimensions of the question before you start researching it. What is the scope of the project set out in the question? What obvious (and less obvious) answers suggest themselves? What are the assumptions on which the question is based? The way in which the question is phrased sets the boundaries of your research project. It also points to a certain kind of answer. As an example, let us take the essay prompt, Achilles’ rage was justified. Discuss. Given how this topic has been put, your answer would need to assess the possible arguments for and against Achilles’ anger at Agamemnon in Homer’s Iliad, ultimately settling on one side of the debate. Alternatively, the instructor could have asked Was Achilles right to be angry with Agamemnon? Here, the question requires you to take a stance from the beginning, and to make a strong case for that stance throughout your essay. Make sense? By developing and analysing your question before you start working on it you are ensuring that you understand the scope and limits of the topic of research. By analysing the question first, you avoid missing the mark. Irrelevance – no matter how brilliant – will be penalised. Instructions to ‘assess’, ‘explain’, analyse’, ‘challenge’, ‘defend’, ‘develop’, ‘discuss’, ‘evaluate’, ‘comment’ all require a slightly different type of response. Think carefully about exactly what you are asked to do before you start researching and writing your essay. Turn to the information box Who, what, when, where? below in this chapter for how a single word can change the essay question significantly. 2. Developing a theme into a research question: As you advance in your studies, you are less likely to be asked to answer a set question. Instead, you may be given a broad topic or an area of research as an essay prompt, such as The rage of Achilles. The challenge here is to turn that prompt into a question. A (small) part of your grade will be derived from how successful you are in doing this. Better essays will do more than simply rephrase the topic into a broad question such as Why was Achilles angry in Homer’s ‘Iliad’? Instead, try to come up with something more specific. Chances are this will make for a more interesting essay
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(i.e. one with a less obvious argument). How about: What ideals are at stake in the rage of Achilles? If the theme were Friendship in Jane Austen novels we could go further than asking How is friendship represented in Jane Austen novels, and instead craft a more nuanced question such as: What are the scope and limits of female friendship in Jane Austen novels? This part of the process – establishing the question – can often be one of the most difficult, but it sets up the flavour and direction of your essay so it’s an important step to get right. Turn to the information box Not all questions are created equal below in this chapter on what distinguishes good from bad essay questions. 3. Formulating a research question of your own: Lastly, you may be asked to come up with a research topic and question of your own choice – the most advanced way of setting you up on a research project. First, decide on a general field of knowledge that you are going to research. This can be as broad as Homeric Epic, English Literature, or Foreign Policy. Now identify an aspect of this field of knowledge that you find particularly interesting: the gods in the Iliad, to take an example. Try to pin down why you find it interesting, what aspect of it is compelling, and for what reason. Perhaps what you found most curious in reading Homer’s poetry was the incessant intervention of the gods in human affairs. Now turn this aspect or reason into a question and investigate further: To what extent are humans in control of their actions in Homer’s ‘Iliad’? Once you have settled on a question, ask yourself: Is it possible to answer this question in the limited time and space I have? Is it viable, given the evidence available to me? If the answer to any of these is no, you need to narrow your research question. Do not try to rewrite the history of Western philosophy in a short essay, tempting as that may seem. (Save that one for when you decide to pursue a Ph.D.) If in doubt, your instructor will certainly be impressed with all the hard work you have already done and happy to help you make your question more specific. He or she may also provide you with some literature, or further suggestions on how to go about researching your question. Info-‐Box: Who, what, when, where? Small changes in how a question is put can fundamentally alter the nature of an essay. This is because the same topic can prompt different kinds of questions: What types of friendship are presented in Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’? asks you to discuss the different sorts of relations that exist between friends in Austen’s text, perhaps even looking for overarching patterns in the categories of friendships presented. How is friendship presented in Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’? asks you to consider to what effect relations between friends are crafted by Austen in the world of her Pride and Prejudice. This question concerns the author’s presentation and manipulation of the theme of friendship as part of her romantic novel. The focus here extends beyond the types of friendships presented, and looks at the meaning given by Austen to personal interactions between characters.
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Info-‐Box: Not all questions are created equal Bad essay questions are too broad, too specific, or poorly formulated. These pitfalls are relatively easy to avoid once you are aware of them but hold on: there is an even more crucial test for a good research question. All questions – the self-‐set ones and the ones given by your instructor – need to stand the “SO WHAT?” test. A good research question is one that is worth answering because it has implications that are of interest to the field of study. It needs to extend beyond presenting information, and present a point of interest. If you cannot articulate why a question is interesting, develop it so that it becomes worth thinking about. If, after some really hard thinking, you still cannot do this, dismiss it and start from scratch. It may be painful at the time, but it will save you from spending hours on a question which in the end has no point. Question and Thesis: A Complicated Relationship Many students approach essay writing knowing that it involves ‘a thesis’. Because of all the attention it gets, this six letter word can sometimes overshadow the importance of the research question which precedes it. The temptation can be to jump to finding a thesis statement on a particular topic before you have formulated a question. Doing this, however, you not only risk clinging onto an untenable claim which has no evidence to support it, but you may also miss something interesting which the evidence does in fact offer. Look at the flowchart below to help guide the process and do not be afraid to be explicit in your introduction about both your question and the answer you propose: Once you are clear about your question try to formulate a possible answer in a sentence or two early on, and use it as a working hypothesis. This will help you at the researching stage by directing your reading to seek out certain kinds of information. However, be prepared to dismiss your working hypothesis if it proves unsustainable once you begin looking closely at the evidence; if necessary, reformulate and adjust. The more experience you have, the easier it is to come up with strong and viable working hypotheses that later evolve into thesis statements.
Step 2: Research Now that you have a question, you need to find information that allows you to come up with an informed answer. This step depends largely on the conventions of the discipline you are studying. In the Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences we
Topic What area will I write about? What subject interests me?
Question What am I asking in relation to this subject?
Thesis and argument
What is my proposed answer and how will I convince my readers?
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usually distinguish between two different kinds of information: primary sources and secondary literature. Primary Sources: Primary sources offer first-‐hand (‘primary’) information. If you write an essay on the figure of Elizabeth in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, for example, that book will be your primary source, together with other sources from the same period addressing or investigating the role of women in this society (for the purpose of comparison). If you write an essay about Homer’s epics, his own writing as well as other contemporary texts will be your primary sources. If you write an essay on the impact of Wikileaks in the modern world, official documents, statistical evidence, government reports and perhaps even interviews you conduct all form part of the primary sources you will be using for that particular essay. As a rough guideline for those working in historical disciplines, everything from the period you are studying can count as a primary source (including past scholarship from the period you are investigating). And do not consider only literary sources: material and visual evidence – pictures, photographs – can be relevant too. If you are an archaeologist, material artefacts will be your main type of source. Finding Primary Sources. Look at source books, encyclopaedia articles and scholarly works on your general topic area: which sources do they cite? Also try locating publications of new sources (such as archaeological reports). Other strategies for locating relevant primary sources include talking to a subject librarian, a more advanced student, searching the internet, etc. If still at a loss, ask your instructor. Interrogating Primary Sources. Primary sources need to be analysed and vetted before you can use them as evidence in support of your argument. Ask yourself questions like: Who is speaking through a particular source? What are they saying? And for what purpose? How does this influence the information presented? What is the intended audience? What are its constraints in terms of genre? Does it follow them or challenge them? What kind of knowledge on the part of the reader/onlooker is inferred? What aspects does the source leave out? Why? And, finally and most importantly: what can the source reveal about your topic? How does it speak to your research question and to the problem you are addressing? If not at all, you may safely disregard it.
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The Secondary Literature Secondary literature is the modern scholarly debate on a topic (sometimes referred to as ‘secondary sources’; for clarity it is preferable to speak of ‘secondary literature’). Generally, you will use it to find further information about a topic (including the discussion of relevant primary sources) and, in particular, for the arguments and viewpoints that constitute the existing scholarly conversation surrounding that topic. In your essay you will present your own argument within the framework of this conversation. This will involve citing scholars to support your work, and critiquing others. The secondary literature usually takes the form of scholarly books, research articles, papers and reports published by major international presses. A scholarly book chapter about emotions in Homer is a piece of secondary literature. A scholarly book on female figures in Jane Austen’s novels is again secondary literature. A scholarly article on the impact of Wikileaks: again, secondary literature. Make sense? Finding Secondary Literature: There are many ways to find secondary literature relevant to your topic. You might do an electronic search of the holdings of your local library on your topic, or you may search JSTOR (see www.jstor.org) or other digital libraries of scholarly works. All this should yield relevant and important titles. There are a few things you can do to work your way into a field of knowledge quickly. Pick up recent encyclopaedic work, handbook, or area review relevant to your topic: these will point you to the most important works in that area. Once you have located these, turn again to the bibliography, which should contain a wealth of further reading. Also look at the introductions of these books: these frequently include a report on or snapshot of the state of the field. Be alert to works that may have been published after the most recent monograph you consulted. Engaging with Secondary Literature: As with primary sources, secondary literature also needs to be interrogated before you can refer to it in your essay. The ultimate aim is to position your own views relative to what has already been said about a topic.
Ask yourself:
- Who is speaking here? Is the author an expert in his or her field? - What major points does the author make? - Where does the author claim to be original? Where does the author merely
present existing knowledge? - On what data/information/sources are his or her views based? Is this a
credible assessment of the sources? - Do I agree or disagree with this scholar’s point of view? Why or why not? - Has he or she looked at all dimensions of the topic? Has he or she missed
something important? (If so, fabulous! You have found a pathway into an original argument by setting up your essay in response to this scholar’s work. That PhD is in the bag!)
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Info Box: Unsuitable secondary literature A number of general reference works are not sufficiently scholarly for use in an academic research essay. These include almanacs, dictionaries, encyclopaedias, school books, and general ‘coffee table’ books, etc. Even your lecture notes should not be used as ‘secondary literature’. Exceptions to this rule include authoritative encyclopaedic works written specifically for the use of scholars, such as the famous Oxford Classical Dictionary (OCD) in Classics and ancient history. As a general rule: these kind of publications and texts will provide you with basic information that is ‘assumed knowledge’ and does not require referencing. You may use them to get up to speed on a particular topic, but do not present them in your essay as a major source or reference work from which you derived information. What you need to do now is find enough information in the primary sources to allow you to answer your chosen question. If you write on friendship in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, you will look at instances in which this relationship is either thematised or acted out in Austen’s oeuvre. You need to collect these instances and think about what they mean as a group. If you write on the impact of Wikileaks, you will need to analyse statistics, official reports and other evidence to be able to justify your position on the influence it has had. Eventually you will need to check whether other scholars have already spoken to your question and if so what they have said; it’s a good idea to leave this for a little later in the research process. If you kick off the research process by looking at the secondary literature, you could find it more difficult to come up with an idea of your own. If you find that your essay has in effect already been written by someone else, refine your question in the process of your research to point to something new and interesting. Info-‐Box: A Note on Note-‐Taking Remember to take detailed notes throughout the research stage. In particular, look for three different kinds of information: 1. The overall outlook and argument of a given primary source or piece of secondary literature. You should be able to sum up in a sentence or two what the entire book or article is about. 2. Any and all information pertaining directly to your argument. 3. Anything that comes to mind while reading: interesting observations, insights, points of view, etc., even if only vaguely related to the text you are reading. This should include notes on possible ways of how to structure your essay. You will need these notes later on, at the planning and writing stage. Always write down the exact page number or source from where you derived a given piece of information. There is nothing more frustrating than to get to the essay writing stage and find yourself unable to locate a vital piece of information from your research.
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Looking ahead: Throughout the research stage, keep your working hypothesis firmly in mind. Look out for information that confirms or corroborates it. Refine it if necessary.
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Step 3: Organise It may be tempting to immerse yourself in the writing stage right away. After all, by now your mind is full of ideas and examples and points you want to make – but wait! If you start writing immediately, chances are it will come out in one big, incoherent jumble. First organise your thoughts into a coherent structure. Take a step back from all the detail you have been processing and think about how to answer your research question. If you have a working hypothesis, now is the time to revise or dismiss it. If you are happy with your working hypothesis, think about the individual steps you need to take in order to convince your reader that your hypothesis is correct. Into what essential parts can you break down the argument to prove the thesis right? Sometimes it helps to take a fresh sheet of paper or a blank screen, write your research question at the top and note down everything that needs to go into an answer. Go through your notes again. Try not to get bogged down by detail: instead, extract or highlight the major points to go into an answer. Don’t worry yet about structure. At this stage there is no need to limit the number of major points you note down. Info-‐Box: Organising an essay – an example Here is an example of major points you may want to note down in response to a question about the kind of work historians do. Research question: How do historians work? They write books and articles They teach students about the past They interview eyewitnesses They supervise PhD students to train future historians They collect sources They give research papers They visit archives and find evidence They read books and articles They travel a lot They evaluate sources, for example by questioning them They read the work of other historians They enquire into the context of a source They tell a true story about the past They agree and disagree with each other They co-‐author books Once you have done this again take a step back. Go through the list again. You will find that some of the points seem to relate to others: by specifying them, complementing them, or by highlighting a certain dimension. Bundle these
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points together under a few major headings. Here is the same information as the previous example rearranged under major headings (in bold): Info-‐Box: Organising an essay – an example (continued) Research question: How do historians work? Historians disseminate information They write books and articles They teach students about the past They supervise PhD students to train future historians They give research papers They tell a true story about the past Historians evaluate information They evaluate sources, for example by questioning them They enquire into the context of a source Historians collaborate with other experts They agree and disagree with each other They go to meetings and conferences They co-‐author books Historians collect information They interview eyewitnesses They read the work of other historians They collect sources They visit archives and find evidence They travel a lot There is no limit to the overall number of major headings you end up with – much depends on your topic and research question – yet most research essays will be structured under three to five major headings. If you have fewer, consider breaking the headings into several points. If you have more, try to bundle a few under one single heading. The next task is to bring these major headings into coherent order. Every order that follows a certain logic is coherent. Again, there is no single formula of how to go about this. The kind of answer you will give depends on the question. Here are suggestions for structuring your essay:
• Chronologically – this may work if your argument follows a temporal order.
• Pros and cons – try this structure if you are weighing up different arguments for and against something.
• Cause and effect – are you analysing a sequence of cause and effect? • From simple to more complex points – ease the reader into it and build up
to the most sophisticated part of your argument.
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• According to importance – from the least to the most important point; this structure will carry a compelling argument all the way to the finish-‐line.
Returning once again to our example, here are the same major (and minor) points put into a coherent order according to the workflow of how historians work: first collecting information, then evaluating it, and finally disseminating it in various ways. You will notice that one of the categories that appeared above (Historians Collaborate with Other Experts) has been collapsed into the second subheading below and one point (‘they co-‐author book’) was extracted and placed under Historians disseminate information. Be flexible and creative when it comes to structuring your work, so long as you can justify how a point fits into your argument, it belongs wherever you decide! An Example, continued Research Question: How do historians work? 1. Historians collect information They collect sources; they interview eyewitnesses They visit archives and find evidence They read the work of other historians They travel a lot 2. Historians evaluate information They evaluate sources, for example by questioning them They enquire into the context of a source Historians collaborate with other experts: they agree and disagree with each other; they go to meetings and conferences. 3. Historians disseminate information They write books and articles They give research papers They teach students about the past They supervise PhD students to train future historians They co-‐author books They tell a true story about the past Now you have a structure and some detailed notes to pack in information. Take a deep breath! You are now ready to start writing. Looking Forward: Keep thinking about your working hypothesis. Does it successfully encapsulate all of the paragraph topics you have now set up in your structure? If so, it may be ready to become your defendable thesis! If not, keep tweaking it until you feel confident that it forms a justifiable answer to the question you set out to answer.
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Step 4: Write You are finally ready to move on to the writing stage. Make yourself comfortable and have your notes and other working material ready. Start from the introduction, then flesh out the individual steps of your argument following the structure you devised earlier. It is absolutely key that your introduction includes some indication of what you are going to argue (read on to Part I: Chapter 4 for a checklist of what to include in your introduction). When writing the essay, do not hesitate to amend the structure should it emerge that another order works better. Pay special attention to how you put together individual paragraphs (see Part I: Chapters 4 and 10 on paragraphs and style). Each paragraph reflects a single step in the argument as outlined in your essay structure. Since most essays these days are written on a computer, it helps to know that you can easily change things later. After all, your essay is not written in stone! So focus at this stage mainly on making sure that your argument flows well through your paragraphs. You can change other details later. A research essay consists of a number of formalised parts. These parts are described in detail in the following chapter
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Step 5: Revise and Edit Once you have finished writing you may feel you are done. Not so. The last – and arguably most important step – is to revise and edit your essay. Now that you have told your reader the whole story, go back and make sure everything is in good order. In particular, revisit your introduction. Is it setting up the argument you make in the main body of your essay, or have you actually ventured farther afield while writing it? If so, adjust your introduction. Is the thesis statement the strongest and most original claim you can make about the argument that follows? Chances are you have pushed your argument further while writing the essay, discussing examples, and generalising from them. If so, revise your thesis statement to reflect this (for more on the thesis see below Part I: Chapter 4).
Also check
• Does your argument flow well? Does each new point follow smoothly and naturally from the previous one?
• Does each step of your argument follow naturally from the previous one, or are you making leaps in logic which your reader may not follow?
• Are all your claims backed up with evidence from the primary sources? • Do you credit all information and ideas derived from other scholars’ work
to their respective authors? (See also Part I: Chapter 5 on plagiarism.) • Is there is any detail in your essay that was interesting but is no longer
relevant to your argument? If so, cut it. Edit your essay for style
• Go through your essay a few times to listen, check and improve style (see also Part I: Chapter 10). In particular, delete any superfluous words and phrases and replace overly technical words with simpler ones. Break up long sentences. Check for repetition of words and phrases.
You will need to go through your essay more than once to pick up on all these things. It may also help to put it aside and have another look the following day. And finally: do not forget to proofread your essay. This is very important: spelling mistakes, missing references, and poor wording inevitably suggest that you wrote your essay quickly and that the ideas expressed are equally sloppy. It also forms part of your final mark. Sometimes it is difficult to spot your own mistakes, so you may want to give your essay to someone else for proofreading. Part of the proofreading stage should be to check that all titles mentioned in the footnotes are listed in the bibliography. Once this is done, print your essay. Check once more that everything is in order. You will be surprised how many essays are submitted with a missing page or bibliography. Finally, staple everything together (to ensure your pages stay in order) and put your name on your essay so that your reader knows you are the author (see also Part I: Chapter 11 for a checklist on things that are easily forgotten before submission).
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Info-‐Box: editing and revising an essay The best essays go through several rounds of editing and revisions. The reason for this is that once you have made a structural change to your essay, you will need to read it again to check whether the argument still flows from one paragraph to the next. If not, further changes are necessary. It may be a good idea to subject your essay to at least two rounds of revisions: Revisions, round 1: check whether your argument is tight, in good order and that all major points are supported by evidence. Delete irrelevant material if necessary. Revisions, round 2: check all formal requirements: typos, repetition in words or phrases, grammatical errors, missing information in the footnotes, word count, consistency in the bibliography, etc. Check whether you have given your essay a title (see Part I: Chapter 4 on what makes a good title). Looking back: Once you have finished the essay, revisit the thesis statement at the end of your introduction. Revise if necessary to make it fit the argument.
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4 Introduction, Conclusion and What Else? A research essay consists of a number of formalised parts. Each of these is detailed below to give you a better understanding of what is expected, as well as how they all fit together.
I. A Title
Don't forget to give your essay a title. This is not the most important part of an essay, but it’s definitely a fun part and worth thinking about. In essay writing as in life, first impressions matter, and the title is the lead-‐in to your essay.
A good title fulfils two functions: First, it triggers the interest of your reader in your overall topic. Second, it provides an inkling of what you argue in your essay (see ‘The Thesis’ below).
Consider a catchy main title, followed by a clarifying subtitle.
II. The Introduction
After your title, the introduction is the second part of your essay your reader will read. So again, shape this part of your essay carefully and revise it later to reflect what you actually said in your essay.
A strong introduction outlines an issue, sets up the question and makes a case for why this question is relevant. To that end, avoid opening statements that are too general to be interesting. (Humanity has always…; In the history of the world… ‘In all literature…’; Since the dawn of time…). Instead, start with something specific: a strong and interesting observation that draws your reader into the topic. This could be in the form of an anecdote or a quote (which you unpack subsequently), or an example your reader can relate to.
State your thesis clearly towards the end of your introduction. You may be as direct as saying In this essay I argue… Avoid thesis statements that are too tentative. State how your thesis relates to what scholars have said about this topic before. Does your thesis agree or disagree with these scholars? Does it argue for something previously not recognised? Does it extend existing views by applying them to new territory? Does it correct these views?
You may finish with a sentence or two on how you will prove your thesis or, in other words, how you will structure your argument. You may include a sentence like: I will demonstrate this by first analysing…. and then, in a second step, I will compare this to… Do not overdo this
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kind of signposting. Too much of it slows the momentum you have built throughout your introduction. If in doubt, leave it out. And do not conclude your introduction with a sentence like: I will show this to be the case drawing on primary sources and secondary literature. That goes without saying. The introduction may be a good place to mention any aspects of the question or topic you will not touch on in this particular essay. Addressing upfront any possible omissions in your focus is an elegant way to flag to your reader that you are well aware of some dimension to your topic but unable to discuss it in this particular essay. No conscientious reader will fault you for that.
The introduction is also the place where you may want to clarify or define important concepts or technical terms you are going to use throughout. This can be done in the main text of the introduction or in a footnote.
Info-‐box: Introduction – a checklist Use this checklist as a way to ascertain whether your introduction has the main ingredients for a successful start to your essay. Remember that there is no exact formula for writing the perfect introduction, but if you are at a loss as to what to include, this list can be a helpful starting place. The following points are crucial to a good introduction:
! Identify the subject area of the essay topic. ! Set up a research question relating to this area. ! Make a case for why your question is relevant.
e.g. by stating how your thesis fits within broader scholarship on the topic.
! State your thesis clearly. Less critical, but still relevant to many essay introductions are the following:
! How you will demonstrate your thesis. ! Any omissions or definitions, if necessary.
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III. The Thesis
Do not just describe, or, even worse, sum up a piece of secondary literature or a primary source (see Part I: Chapter 3 on primary sources and secondary literature). You need to come up with something at least slightly original and interesting. Give your answer a certain spin, an edge, a direction. In short:
You need a thesis and you need to state this thesis clearly at the end of your introduction. The thesis is the claim you make in response to the question you set yourself or that you were prompted to answer.
A good thesis strikes a balance between the obvious and the far-‐fetched or exalted. An obvious thesis does not actually need arguing. A far-‐fetched thesis may sound interesting but is ultimately impossible to prove.
Text box: thesis statements – an example Here are two possible thesis statements for an essay answering the question How do historians work? 1. In this essay I argue that historians do a lot of different kinds of
work. 2. In this essay I argue that historians work like detectives. The first thesis statement is too obvious to be interesting. Surely nobody would disagree with that claim so it does not need arguing. The second claim is strong and interesting and warrants an argument to prove how this is the case (i.e. showing that historians, like detectives, collect evidence, question it, and make a case based on it.)
Make sure your essay has one thesis and not several. If you have several points to argue, try to bring them together under a single umbrella statement. If you cannot, pick one and develop it (rather than arguing all of them, one after another). The thesis statement should extend into a single, coherent argument in which you persuade your reader that your claim is correct.
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IV. The Argument The argument is the case you make to convince your reader that the claim you make (your thesis) is true. To do so you will present evidence from the primary sources supporting your points. This evidence needs to be explained to your reader in terms of what it shows. At the same time, you will also draw on what other scholars have said, either in support of your argument, or to position yourself against it. A successful argument does not just restate its basic claim but evolves throughout the essay. A successful argument consists of several steps. Every new step requires a new paragraph (this is discussed in more detail below in this chapter). You have a coherent argument if every new step in your argument naturally follows from the previous one. If an observation does not fit your line of thought, cut it (no matter how interesting it may be in itself).
V. The Paragraph
A paragraph is a single unit or step of your argument. Start every paragraph with a strong opening line, introducing the new idea you develop in that paragraph. Substantiate this idea by introducing evidence and developing it. Every paragraph needs to be related to your thesis (your overall claim). If it is not, it is probably irrelevant and should be cut. Take special care to keep your argument evolving throughout. To do so, try to avoid a paragraph structure which reads like a shopping list, giving nothing more than examples to back up your thesis. Instead, make sure that each paragraph takes your argument one step further, contributes a new aspect or a new dimension to your argument. Irrelevance will be punished!
VI. Presenting Evidence
Throughout your essay, present evidence to substantiate your claims and make your argument more compelling and persuasive. Whenever you refer to information from primary sources, state how it is relevant to your argument. Tell the reader what you see – and what you want them to see – in the evidence. This works best if you do so in a way that your reader feels they have discovered this for themselves. Avoid overly didactic statements. Readers do not like to be patronised.
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Think critically about the evidence. Who is speaking here and for what reason? (See Part I: Chapter 3) Do not take things at face value. Look behind the lines. Investigate assumptions. Evaluate. Interpret.
Text box: Bias, Bias Everywhere… Are primary sources and secondary literature potentially ‘biased’? Is this something you should worry about? Beginning undergraduate students in particular often feel tempted to comment on the ‘bias’ of primary sources or the secondary literature. In most cases this is not a productive way into a discussion of what a source can contribute to your research: all authors and texts (including yours) are written from a particular perspective and with a particular aim in mind. All human observation – even the most meticulous – is in its way selective, partial and focused on a particular aspect of reality. This is not necessarily a problem. On the contrary, the specific outlook of a primary source may be exactly what makes this source interesting for the researcher. For example, if you write an essay about attitudes to women in 18th century Britain, you would take a contemporary author’s position on women as a point of departure to explore whether it conveys typical contemporary views and attitudes. That ‘bias’ would be exactly what makes this text suitable as evidence. So in examining primary evidence, keep the focus on what kind of information you can derive from a particular source to use in your essay. If a piece of secondary literature is biased to the extent that it is tendentious or sensationalist, it is probably not a piece of serious scholarly work and so should not be used in your essay. To avoid accusations of negative bias yourself, consider a pre-‐emptive strike: address in the body of your essay any concerns or reservations your reader might raise against your argument. Keep the reader’s perspective in mind and always ask yourself how one could argue against you. If you have identified a point your reader may find problematic, address it directly and state why your argument still holds true. Anticipating and dismantling potential criticism upfront is an elegant strategy to win over your reader. If you write about a work of literature, avoid too much summary of content. Assume an informed reader. Assume your reader is familiar with the literary territory. Use quotes and citations from the primary sources and the secondary literature to back up and substantiate your argument (see in detail Part I: Chapter 5 on citing and quoting). Your handling of the secondary literature should also show a critical stance. Do not just reiterate another scholar’s position. Tell your reader
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why are you agreeing or disagreeing with someone else’s work (see in more detail Part I: Chapter 3 on researching and using sources).
VII. The Conclusion Like the introduction, the conclusion is an important part of your essay. Final impressions matter almost as much as first ones. The conclusion is the place to sum up and round off your argument, presenting once again the light your views shine on the topic. You may for example suggest where your topic could be taken further in future scholarship or point to questions that remain to be asked. As a general rule, do not introduce new ideas or perspectives here, but offer a broader outlook on the terrain you have covered. Make sure your conclusion does not end abruptly in the middle of a train of thought. Create a sense of closure by reflecting on the larger implications of your argument, or by suggesting where one could go next in researching the problem.
VIII. The Bibliography Because you have been writing a research essay, you will need to list all titles consulted (both the primary sources and the secondary literature) in a bibliography at the end of your essay. One way to do this is to have two separate sections, one for the primary sources and one for the secondary literature. Your bibliography should include books and articles referred to in the main body of your essay as well as those cited only in a footnote (see Part I: Chapter 6). The bibliography should also list any other works you may have consulted that did not make it into either the main text or the footnotes. List all titles (book titles and journal articles, etc.) alphabetically by the author’s surname. There are different styles of listing titles in a bibliography. Individual styles may differ in whether they include the publisher of books (e.g. Sydney University Press) or whether they put the year of publication in brackets (see Part I: Chapter 7 for more information and examples). Whatever style you adopt, it is important that you apply it consistently to all titles included in your bibliography. Check for consistency in the bibliography as part of the proofreading process. If you are in doubt as to which style to follow, ask your instructor.
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IX. The Summary or Abstract You may be asked to provide a summary or an abstract together with your essay. To do this, lay out the major steps by which you advance your argument. You may want to start from the conclusion rather than the introduction, since in your conclusion you will already have summarised the core ideas of your essay. As to the structure of your summary: The first sentence of your summary may restate the question. The second sentence may restate your thesis or claim. Subsequent sentences will then reiterate the major steps by which you proved your claim and present them in a larger context. You may also want to reflect on where one could go next in discussing the larger implications of your work.
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5 Further Basics There are a few more things to consider when writing a research essay. The following list gives you an overview. The topics are arranged in alphabetical order, so you can look up a particular item later on when you are in the midst of your essay. Citing and Quoting A citation is a simple, non-‐verbatim reference to a primary source or the secondary literature.
Example: Santa seems to have a particular fondness for fluffy reindeer.1 A quote is a verbatim representation of a word, sentence or passage from a primary source or the secondary literature.
Example: As Santa states succinctly, ‘I like reindeer – particularly the fluffy ones.’2
When to cite, and when to quote? Quote when – and only when – the wording of a primary source or passage matters to your argument. If you just want to point your reader to any given piece of information, you cite. It is that simple. And finally: one footnote per sentence, please! Footnotes should be placed at the end of the sentence or paragraph to which they refer. This allows the reader to finish the sentence or paragraph before looking up the information to which you refer. If a quote is longer than four lines, you should set it out as a block quote, separated from the text. In this case:
• Introduce the block quote with a colon. • Do not use quotation marks. Quotes within the quote are an exception to
this rule. • Add a footnote at the end referring to the source from which the quote is
derived.
Example (illustrating these three points): Santa’s memoires contain many conversations with his wife which reveal how the reindeer play a central role in their lives:
Mrs. Claus and I had a long discussion about the reindeer tonight. I like reindeer – particularly the fluffy ones. Prancer and Vixen’s fur are extra fleecy at the moment and though it keeps them warm while
1 Claus 2016, 22. 2 Claus 2016, 22.
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we’re at home, they do complain that they get hot on Christmas Eve, especially when we visit sunny Australia.3
Feedback On most occasions you will receive detailed feedback on your essay. This feedback usually responds to the content of your essay (the relevance of your question, the originality of your thesis, the plausibility of your argument) as well as the form in which you have presented your ideas (the use of evidence to back up claims, the critical engagement with the secondary literature, proofreading). Your instructor may make specific comments on the margins of your essay and/or provide a short discussion at the end. You may care only about the grade you have received and not the comments. However, it is important that you read the feedback: it will help you to do (even) better next time around. When you write your next research essay make sure you don’t repeat any mistakes. It may be helpful to write yourself a brief summary of feedback and any insights that you can carry over to your next piece of work. If you do not understand a comment or disagree with it, do not hesitate to talk to your instructor. It is perfectly fine to ask for clarification. Footnoting A quote or any other piece of information that is not general knowledge must always be followed by a footnote explaining its source. This applies in particular to other scholars’ theses and viewpoints. It is good practice to place footnotes at the end of a sentence (even if they refer to something in the beginning or middle) in order to allow your reader to finish the sentence first before they look up the information included in the footnote. There is a tendency to move all information that does not fit in the main argument into the footnotes. This can result in lengthy footnotes that in extreme cases are bulkier than the argument itself. Keep the footnoting relevant and to the point. Another option is endnotes (see Part I: Chapter 6).
3 Claus 2016, 22.
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Originality The more advanced you get in academic writing, the more you are asked to be original. After all, this is what research is all about: making an original contribution – however small – to the body of existing knowledge. And if you continue on to do a research degree, originality becomes ever more important. At first, this may sound daunting. You may wonder how you can possibly come up with something new and exciting in an area of study where so much has been said already, and by people who have studied the material for much longer than you. Truth is, it can actually help to come to a topic as a relative novice. A fresh look at the evidence might reveal something that nobody has seen before. Moreover, the questions scholars tend to ask change over time. This means that there is always a new perspective, a new point of view, a new line of enquiry to be pursued. Alternatively, you may find that while past scholarship has posed the right questions, you disagree with the answers. Or, you may work in an area where new evidence changes the landscape and conjures up new horizons. Beyond the many ways you can be original and bring a fresh perspective, there are two principal ways to set up an original argument: relative to primary sources and secondary literature. First look at the evidence: Can you can find something that nobody has registered/addressed/noticed before? With regard to the secondary literature, check what other scholars have said about an issue. Then ask: Do I agree or disagree, and on what grounds? Is there any aspect of this topic that has not been considered so far? Plagiarism You may be unclear what plagiarism is and how to avoid it, especially if you have just started studying. In a nutshell: plagiarism is passing off someone else’s work as your own. This can take a number of forms: taking information from the secondary literature without referencing it; using an idea, thesis or claim without crediting it to its original author; copying phrases, sentences or passages from published or unpublished work in your essay without referencing them; trying to conceal this by paraphrasing sentences or passages in your essay; purchasing a complete essay on the internet. Universities take plagiarism extremely seriously. After all, they are in the business of ideas; and taking someone else’s ideas and passing them off as your own is not only unfair, insincere and fraudulent, it is also corrupting a university’s currency. Colleges and universities require professors to report cases of plagiarism and you may be asked to come in and speak to a plagiarism officer. In the worst instance you may fail the unit or, as a repeat offender, be expelled from university altogether. My advice: don’t do it! The apparent short-‐term benefit is not worth the potential damage. It will also erode your self-‐esteem.
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Avoid plagiarising by crediting all ideas to their original author and by clearly referencing the origins of any words and phrases that are not your own (see below ‘Referencing’). Quoting (see ‘Citing’) Referencing Academic essays build on the work of other scholars whose contribution you need to acknowledge. Referencing is telling your reader – in a footnote or in-‐text reference – where you have derived a certain piece of information (see also ‘Footnoting’ above). Moreover, your essay participates in an ongoing scholarly conversation; it is essential that your reader understands not only what you are saying but to whom you are speaking, when, and how. Referencing helps strengthen the context of that dialogue. What information needs a reference? The short answer: everything that is not general or encyclopaedic knowledge or your own original thought. In particular original research, other scholars’ ideas, and viewpoints need to be attributed to their original authors to give due credit to those who first had them, to put these views in context, and to avoid accusations of plagiarism (see above: ‘Plagiarism’). There are two different ways to point your reader to information you give them: citing and quoting (see above: ‘Citing’). If your instructor has not given you specific referencing guidelines, you may want to ask what kind of referencing style is preferred. There are several different referencing styles, some of which are specific to a certain discipline. When you come to publishing your work, journals and publishers also require that you follow their ‘house style’. If in doubt, ask. Once you adopt a certain referencing style it is important that you follow it consistently throughout your essay. Checking for consistency in referencing is part of the proofreading and editing process (see Part I: Chapter 3 on revising your work). For a sample footnoting and bibliographic style see Part I: Chapters 6 and 7, respectively. Sources, secondary Some people refer to the scholarly literature as ‘secondary sources’. To avoid confusion and because the primary evidence has to be used very differently from the scholarly literature, it is preferable to refer to existing scholarship as secondary (or ‘scholarly’) literature.
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Storytelling At the heart of every good essay there is a true story. A compelling story draws the reader quickly into the topic and sustains his or her interest throughout. A compelling story also builds up to a major punch line or incident. Think about your story and how best to tell it. Start and end strongly and maintain your reader’s interest throughout.
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6 The Footnotes Footnotes are short units of information placed at the bottom of the page, pointing your reader to the origin of the information in your essay. The footnote is where you include information on the relevant primary and secondary literature (see Part I: Chapter 4). Footnotes can also contain definitions, clarifications or further thoughts that did not fit into the main body of your essay but that you still deem significant enough to bring to your reader’s attention. With regard to this kind of information: keep it simple and in proportion to the information presented in the main argument. Footnotes appearing at the end of an essay or article are endnotes. Use endnotes only if directed: they are more difficult for the reader to follow and therefore less widely used. In research essays in the Arts and Humanities, footnotes are more usual and widespread than in-‐text references, which are customary in the Social Sciences. The way you present information on primary sources and secondary literature in the footnotes is determined by a set of rules that comprise a citation style. Your instructor may prefer a particular citation style, in which case follow it; but more often than not, any style is fine as long as you follow it consistently. Here is a sample citation style for the secondary literature. See also Part I: Chapter 5 for information on when to add a footnote. Whichever you choose, remember: consistency is key! If you want to refer to pages 12-‐24 of this book:
Claus, S. (2016) The North Pole: A Travel Guide. New York. Abbreviate it like this in the footnote: Claus 2016, 12-‐24. If you want to refer to this article as a whole:
Helper, A. (2009) ‘Advanced cookie recipes for professionals’, Journal of Seasonal Baking 25, 1-‐30.
Abbreviate it like this in the footnote: Helper 2009. If you want to refer to page 15 of this article, the footnote will look like this:
Helper 2009, 15.
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If you want to list both titles in a footnote, put it like this:
Helper 2009, 15; Claus 2016, 12-‐24. Please note:
• The full title of all works referred to in the footnotes must be listed in the bibliography of your essay (see Part I: Chapter 7).
• In this citation style, strings of titles in the footnotes should be in chronological order and separated by a semicolon.
• This citation style should be used from the very first time you refer to a given title in a footnote. It is not necessary to give the full title the first time you cite a book or an article in a footnote; the reader can easily look that up in your bibliography.
• Try to avoid f. or ff. (for following page or following pages) and give a precise page range instead. The same applies to the use of ibidem or Ibid. (‘in the same place’) for subsequent citations from the same book or article. It doesn’t save space and it looks sloppy.
• In addition to these guidelines there may also be discipline-‐specific rules you need to follow, for example when citing primary sources. If in doubt, ask your instructor.
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7 The Bibliography
Every essay needs a bibliography listing not only all titles you refer to in the footnotes, but all titles you consulted. Usually the bibliography is at the end of your essay. Your bibliography needs to follow a certain bibliographic style and this style needs to be followed consistently. The bibliographic style defines what kind of information you present in the bibliography and how you present this information. Here is a sample bibliographic style. How a title is listed in the bibliography depends on whether it is a book by a single author (a monograph), an edited book, a chapter in an edited book, or a journal article.
Book/monograph
Claus, S. (2016) The North Pole: A Travel Guide. New York.
Book/edited volume
Elf, F. (ed.) (2008) Snow: An Eyewitness Report. North Pole.
Elf, F. and Reindeer, R. (eds.) (2006) What Does Santa Do in Summer? Sydney.
(for a co-‐edited volume)
A chapter in an edited volume
Reindeer, S. (2015) ‘How to manage a bunch of unruly elves,’ in Santa, C. (ed.)
Managing the Festive Season. New York, 3-‐28.
A journal article
Helper, A. (2009) ‘Advanced cookie recipes for professionals,’ Journal of Seasonal
Baking 25, 1-‐24.
For a book first published in another language
Please note: this information is usually included in the front matter of a book.
Santa, C. (2016) How to Assemble a Gingerbread House, transl. D. Elf. Oslo.
(Norwegian orig. 2011)
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For a book with several volumes
Helper, D. (2000/2003) Ten Creative Things to Do with Wrapping Paper, 2 vols.
Oslo.
• Collapse both dates if all volumes of a book are published in the same
year.
More Things to Consider:
• Hardbacks and paperbacks: Most academic books are first published as a hardback. Paperback editions of widely-‐sold books usually come out a few years later (if the book sold well). In your bibliography you should always list the first (hardback) edition, but it is okay to use paperback editions to check information – they usually have the same pagination – but check when the hardback edition was first published. Normally this is available in the front matter of a book, along with copyright information.
• Multiple editions: Some (particularly popular) books go through several editions. List the edition you actually used in the bibliography. If there is an updated and revised edition use that one.
• Translations of secondary literature items: Some particularly important books are translated into English from other languages. In this case it is fine to use the English edition, but add translator information when you list the title in the bibliography. E.g. Claus, S. (2016) Too Many Presents: Do We Need a Second Santa? transl. A. Elf. Sydney. (Norwegian orig. 2011).
• Foreign language titles: Special care should be given to titles in languages other than English. Different rules regarding capitalization of words in the title may apply.
Here is a sample bibliography on the rage of Achilles with real titles set out in the bibliographic style suggested above: Adkins, A. (1997) ‘Homeric Ethics’ in Morris, I. and Powell, B. (eds.) A New
Companion to Homer. Leiden, 694-‐714.
De Lia, D. (2004) ‘The Achilles Complex: Preoedipal Trauma, Rage, and
Repetition,’ Psychoanalytic Review 91, 179-‐99.
Detienne, M. and Vernant, J.-‐P. (1991) Cunning Intelligence in Greek Culture and
Society, transl. J. Lloyd. Chicago. (French orig. 1974)
Fowler, R. (ed.) (2004) The Cambridge Companion to Homer. Cambridge.
King, K. C. (1987) Achilles: Paradigms of the War Hero from Homer to the Middle
Ages. Berkeley.
Morris, I. and Powell, B. (eds.) (1997) A New Companion to Homer. Leiden.
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Muellner, L. C. (1996) The Anger of Achilles: Mēnis in Greek Epic. Ithaca.
Scully, S. (2003) ‘Reading the Shield of Achilles: Terror, Anger, Delight,’ Harvard
Studies in Classical Philology 101, 29-‐47.
Tsagarakis, O. (1971) ‘The Achaean Embassy and the Wrath of Achilles,’ Hermes
99, 257-‐277.
Zanker, G. (1996) The Heart of Achilles: Characterization and Personal Ethics in
the Iliad. Michigan.
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8 Five Dos and Five Don'ts The following list sums up some of the major points of the previous chapters. It is meant to remind you of the basics which may easily be forgotten once you get into the nitty gritty of an actual essay. This list highlights a number of features every successful essay needs to show. It also warns you against some of the most common problems in essay writing, drawn up from actual essays. Consider copying the list and keeping it handy or putting it on the wall by your work space.
Do
1. Take a stance. Argue. Engage. 2. Disentangle your points. What needs to be said first? What follows from
it? Make your argument flow. Structure, structure, structure! 3. Start and end with a strong and interesting point. 4. Offer evidence for your claims. A good essay combines a general
argument with tangible examples. At the same time, place your argument within existing scholarly debates.
5. Use formal rather than colloquial language. Use simple words rather than overly technical language and jargon which does not make you sound more scholarly, but does make reading your essay less enjoyable (see Part I: Chapter 10 for more on style)
Don’t
1. Just describe or give an overview of your topic. You must make your case. 2. Argue several points at once. Only one general thesis (claim) per essay! 3. Include irrelevant material unrelated to what you are arguing, no matter
how interesting. 4. Merely summarise content from the primary sources. Tell your reader
what it is about, and why and how it is important. Analyse! 5. Over-‐quote. Use an adequate number of quotes and citations to
substantiate your point, neither more nor less. … and one final absolute: Don’t cite Wikipedia. It looks unprofessional and sloppy and it is not a reliable, scholarly source of information to be used in a piece of professional writing. Of course you may use Wikipedia to inform yourself about a topic, but every bit of information that actually goes into your essay needs to be checked. It also needs to be attributed to a source with an identifiable author who can be vetted for reliability. The same rule applies for many other sources of information available on the internet. If you access scholarly articles electronically from internet platforms
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such as JSTOR, cite the printed edition. As a general rule, do not list long strings of URLs in your bibliography. It does not look scholarly.
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9 Procrastination and Writer’s Block Procrastination is when anything and everything seems more appealing than actually getting the job done – doing the dishes, taking out the rubbish, organising the sock drawer. Here is one way to get around – or through – it: Set aside a few hours on a regular basis (ideally, every workday) for uninterrupted writing. Switch off your smartphone and disable your Wi-‐Fi to minimise the temptation to check email or browse the internet. Better yet, go somewhere with no internet access. Research suggests that it can take up to 30 minutes to get back into productive work after an interruption. So it is much more efficient to write first, and reward yourself with some online time later. Procrastination often comes from feeling daunted at the seemingly huge task that lies ahead. Try to break down that task into small and manageable bits. Focus on one of these bits at a time. Set yourself a writing goal for the day – a certain number of words, or a particular section of your essay. Make sure this goal is realistic. Focus on reaching it and do not stop until you have reached it. Once it is done, reward yourself by doing something you like. Writer’s Block. Everybody can get writer’s block, but it can affect acutely those who care deeply about their writing and for whom writing forms an integral part of their professional or personal life. If you get to a point when you are simply unable to get things done, do not force it. Usually it helps to take a brief break and get back to your essay a little later. Take a short walk. It may also help if you clarify, articulate, or rephrase your ideas. Again, reward yourself once you are done. If you are prone to writer’s block, start your research project early to be ahead of the game and minimise the weight of a looming deadline. Curiously, it can also help to do the exact opposite. Sometimes writer’s block springs from giving yourself large tracts of time to worry and wonder how best to write a particular section. To avoid this, set yourself a clearly defined writing goal in a limited amount of time. For example you may want to give yourself 15 minutes to write a draft of the introduction. Then stop and do something else for a while. Return to your writing a little later and revise it. Remember that your writing does not have to be perfect (or even close to perfect) the first time round. Sometimes tentatively writing a first sentence helps subsequent ideas to start to flow.
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10 On Style Preliminaries It is a much-‐repeated truism that good writing follows no simple recipe or formula. Indeed, there are exceptions to most of the guidelines set out in this book, and much depends on your particular topic. Once you learn the basics of good academic writing and become a more confident researcher and writer, you may want to vary your prose to reflect the task at hand. When you are first starting out, be sure to use a fairly formal register, and to avoid colloquialisms. Even when you are a seasoned writer, it is still worth thinking carefully about how best to make your case each time you start a new essay. There are two reasons for this: first, while good (clear, persuasive and engaging) writing has many faces, it is not difficult to spot bad writing. Second, an elegant writing style is not merely an accessory to a well-‐argued essay – it is the well-‐argued essay. Writing is thinking, and it makes an enormous difference if your essay is well written and convincingly argued. So here are a few suggestions to consider as you further explore the power of persuasive prose. A first and obvious point to make: keep your reader in mind at all times. Pitch your essay to your reader (which is not the same as guessing what your reader wants to hear and then delivering it). Just as you modify what you say and how you say it in a face-‐to-‐face conversation depending on the person you are talking to, consider this in your writing: Are you assuming too much prior knowledge? Are you talking to an expert or a novice? Are you addressing a narrow or a wide audience? Chances are you are writing for your professor or tutor, in which case you can assume an informed reader. If you are writing about a text discussed in class, do not summarise its content. The reader will know it already. At the same time, there is another risk: too much prior knowledge. Inevitably you will have done a lot of research on your topic and you may feel that you are now unable to see the forest, only trees. Even the informed reader will appreciate the presentation of your thoughts in logical, progressive order and not as a random jumble of ideas. This is why it is so important to think about how to begin, how to argue your case, and how to end (Part I: Chapter 4). As you gain more experience you may become considerably more skilled in building and maintaining a relationship with your reader through your writing. Writing is a wonderful medium to inspire and excite, to guide your readership towards a certain destination and bring them to see things from your perspective. Try to make your writing work for you. Make it one of your best assets.
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Words, Words, Words The most basic unit of good and powerful writing is, of course, the individual word. Here are some suggestions of what good writing may look like on the level of words. Choose short, clear and simple words whenever possible. This rule is derived from journalism and essayistic writing, but I also find it useful for academic essay writing, so long as one is happy to break it if necessary. An unconventional word at the right moment can work wonders, if used sparingly. More student essays suffer from using too many complicated words than from using too many simple words. In fact, I have never seen an essay suffer from too much clear and simple prose. Avoid the repetition of words and phrases, in particular in the same paragraph. Of course this applies in particular to words that stand out from their surroundings. Use only words and phrases that are fresh. There are few things more deadening than images used way too often to be interesting. Clichés render your writing lame and tired. Avoid filler words that do not say very much and make you sound vague and tentative. These include: almost, apparently, comparatively, fairly, in part, mostly, nearly, partially, predominantly, presumably, rather, relatively, seemingly, so to speak, somewhat, sort of, to a certain degree, to some extent, very. Also cut back on intensifying words that have the opposite effect of what they promise to do. Words such as highly, very, extremely, or enormously turn a strong and straightforward statement into one of scale. Something is either attractive or it is not. In saying that it is highly attractive you actually make your claim weaker by introducing a scale of attractiveness. Similarly, something is either plausible, or it is not. By saying that it is somewhat or extremely plausible you sound tentative and unsure and you undercut your argument. Nouns and verbs are stronger than adjectives and adverbs. Avoid adjectives and adverbs if they are not necessary. Avoid turning everything into a noun (‘nominalisation’). It may seem impressive, but it is not. The same applies to words that end in a suffix. Avoid using strings of words ending in ‘–ist’ and ‘–ive’, and over-‐using the passive voice. Text box: Some Examples Nominalisation ‘The establishment of a working hypothesis was an important first step in my research. It was followed…’ Instead say: ‘Establishing a working hypothesis was an important first step…’
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Suffixes, adjectives, adverbs: ‘The socio-‐linguistic and historic context betrays both the abnormality and brutality of impulsive colonisation and the altruistic heroism of the utopic alternative.’ Instead say: …. anything else!
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Sentences: More Than a String of Words? Words rarely stand by themselves. They are used to form sentences. A powerful writing style is also palpable on the level of the sentence. Here are a few suggestions on how to make your sentences more concise and powerful. A sentence is a unit of thought and viewpoint. Do not cram into one sentence information and observations that do not belong together (the same applies to the paragraph, see below). Make sure every sentence flows naturally from the previous one (for example by keeping the same subject in pole position). And talking about the subject of a sentence: most well written sentences introduce their subject right at the beginning. Length: Avoid sentences that are too long and wordy. If in doubt, break it up into several shorter ones. Having short and strong sentences is good, although a text made up entirely of such sentences will be monotonous and boring to read. Vary the sentence structure throughout your essay. Parallel wording can add rhythm to your writing. Use it, but use it wisely (read: sparingly). Consider using a semicolon to separate parallel sentences. An example: To many scholars, this viewpoint has been poorly articulated; is not demonstrable with the evidence available to us; and rests on an anachronistic premise. The first and last word of a sentence stands out. So if you want to put the emphasis on a particular word or concept, those are the places to put it (following grammatical rules, of course). You may have been taught that ‘and’ or ‘but’ should never be used to start a sentence, yet there are exceptions to this rule. If you need to break up a long sentence it is permissible to use them to indicate how the sentences belong together. An example: Scholars have argued that Homer uses the wrath of Achilles to demonstrate the way in which the individual’s removal from his society affects all of archaic Greek class structure. But this is not so. Do not over-‐use the passive voice. Reserve it for those contexts in which it is really warranted (e.g. if you want to focus on the action itself rather than who is doing the action). An example: Passive voice: ‘It has been argued by scholars that the law has been intentionally misinterpreted by corporations.’ Active voice: ‘Scholars have argued that corporations have intentionally misinterpreted the law.’
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A Note on Punctuation The prime aim of punctuation is to avoid ambiguous (and funny) statements (I said eat grandpa!); the second is for ease of reading. Much beyond that will be too excessive and actually hamper the flow of your writing rather than help it along. Make your writing livelier by using colons, dashes and the like, but do not overdo it. Paragraph Style Have you ever actually thought about the role of paragraphs? Probably not. Yet it is well worth your attention, because the paragraph is arguably the most important structural feature of your essay. Considering where to place a paragraph break and how to structure a particular paragraph will help the architecture of your argument. For the basics of paragraph conception and structure go back to Part I: Chapter 4. In terms of style, here are a few more things to consider: Paragraph breaks are important visual cues to mark all sorts of divisions in your argument. Use them frequently and place them well to convey these divisions to your reader. Well-‐placed paragraph breaks also provide breathing room on the page and give your reader’s eyes a rest. Let your reader know what a new paragraph is about as early as possible. The first sentence (also referred to as ‘topic sentence’) should do exactly that: tell your reader the topic of the paragraph and how it relates to the previous one (e.g. by using words and phrases that bring out that connection such as for example, thus, therefore, on the other hand, however, etc. All these words highlight a certain kind of link between what was said and what follows). The rest of the paragraph should then be used to develop the point and to present supporting evidence. Every paragraph needs to be directly related to your overall argument. Indeed, a paragraph is typically one step in your argument. If your reader is in doubt as to why one paragraph follows the previous, you need to bring out the coherence and structure. This may involve moving around sentences that do not fit into a particular paragraph and/or changing the order of your paragraphs. You may have been told that a paragraph cannot consist of a single sentence and that the minimum number of sentences of a complete paragraph is three. The idea behind this is that, since a paragraph reflects a step in your argument, this cannot be achieved in a single sentence (or two). In principle this is true. Yet as always in writing, there are exceptions. A single-‐line paragraph can be a powerful means to make a strong statement. End of story.
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Structure Your essay should proceed in a way that intuitively makes sense to your reader. Try to find the story in any given topic (see Part I: Chapter 5 on storytelling). Do not merely work through a list of examples. Opening lines of paragraphs that read like a simple list (‘another reason why …’) indicate that you are just repeating the same point over and over again. Instead, keep your argument evolving. Sustain the story. Feed the beast.
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11 Ready for Submission? A Checklist
• Has your essay been proofread?
• Does your essay have a bibliography?
• Does your essay have a title?
• Have you followed all other formal requirements set out by your
instructor (pertaining to word length, margins, font size, etc.)?
• Do you have to submit an abstract together with your essay?
• Does your essay need a cover sheet?
• Is your name clearly printed on each page of your essay (in case
individual pages get separated)? Is your name included on the first page
of your essay or the cover sheet?
• Have you included page numbers in the header or footer of each page?
• Is the printed version legible and does it include all pages?
If so: Congratulations! You are ready to submit your essay.
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12 Frequently Asked Questions The following questions are derived from years of teaching students how to argue, persuade and write. They touch upon those aspects of the research and writing process that students typically find most challenging. Can (and should) I refer to myself in the first person? Yes. After all, YOU are speaking here about your research. And you want and deserve credit for the wonderful ideas and viewpoints you put forward in your essay. So it is absolutely fine to say things like I argue…, I show… and I maintain…, etc. At the same time avoid subjective opinions like I believe…, I think… which do not relate to your argument. Argumentative prose is not about belief – hard facts are warranted here. You may have learned not to refer to yourself in the first person in an essay and that it sounds much more professional and authoritative to use an impersonal writing style. Not so. To use ‘I’ and ‘me’ is an appropriate way to present your research; it also signals that your essay is part of a conversation in which you engage your reader. If in doubt, ask your instructor what he or she thinks. If you do not want to refer to yourself in the first person, beware of and avoid awkward writing constructions that make it blatantly obvious that you are skirting around the issue. Use the plural ‘we’ only when reporting results of a collaborative research project with someone else (this is convention in the sciences). In the Arts and Humanities where most people work on their own it sounds odd (and regal) to refer to yourself as ‘we’. It is not an elegant solution. At the same time, avoid passive constructions such as it has been argued or it has been shown. The critical reader will inevitably ask, by whom? When should I quote or cite? If the wording of a primary source or passage in the secondary literature matters to your argument, you quote (that is, you repeat what someone else said verbatim between quotation marks, pointing your reader to the source of this quote in a footnote at the end of the sentence). If the wording of a particular piece of information does not matter to your argument, you cite (that is, you describe or paraphrase the information in your own words, without using quotation marks, and point your reader to where they can find the information in a footnote at the end of the sentence). How often should I quote or cite? As a simple rule: whenever and wherever it is essential to your argument. You cite or quote to back up a claim you have made with evidence (from the primary sources). You also cite or quote if you refer to information derived from someone else’s research (the secondary literature). In other words, whenever you refer to a piece of information you have derived from a piece of primary evidence, provide some indication as to where your reader can follow up and check this
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information. Likewise, whenever you mention what another scholar has argued you will need to tell your reader (in a footnote) where this was said. At the same time, do not over-‐quote. Lots of long quotes may bump up your word count, but your reader will notice. Too many quotes take away from the structural integrity of your essay and reduce the tightness of your argument. Quote only if the wording of a passage matters directly to your argument. Ideally, quotes should ‘sit’ within your own prose. Do not start or end a paragraph with a quote. This overshadows your own voice which is, at the end of the day, the most important. Rather, build it into the body of a paragraph and tell your reader how and why it matters, in a way that does not read as mechanical or formulaic (repeatedly starting sentences with formulations like as this quote shows…). Let your interpretation follow naturally from the quote. If you work closely with a given source, build short bits of texts into your argument, rather than including long blocks of quotes, comprising several lines of text. Quote long passages of text only in exceptional circumstances, e.g. if the integrity of a short narrative is central to your argument. Should I be worried about following a particular referencing and bibliographic style? If your instructor has advised you to follow a particular referencing and bibliographic style, follow that style. If not, you can choose a style of your choice (see in detail Part I: Chapter 6 and 7). Whatever style you adopt it is important that you follow it consistently. Apply the same rules throughout your essay. What can I do if I do not agree with the grade on my essay? First check your unit of study guide/syllabus, which usually includes a detailed grade description according to which your essay has been marked. This may even provide you with invaluable clues as to what distinguishes a mediocre from an absolutely wonderful essay. For this reason, it is also not a bad idea to have a look at these before you write your essay. Usually you will also receive a brief comment underneath your essay outlining its strengths and weaknesses and pointing you in ways you can improve your writing. If you still do not understand why you have received a certain grade, talk to your instructor. It is absolutely crucial to understand why you received a certain grade for you to improve your writing over time. If you still do not agree with the grade, you may ask for it to be re-‐marked. In this case ask for a second opinion. Can I plagiarise by accident? Unfortunately, it seems so. There is very good evidence that some students plagiarise inadvertently. Plagiarism – passing someone else’s work as your own – has become a big problem for many institutions of higher education which rely
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on research essays as their main form of assessment. Most colleges and universities use plagiarism detection software which will pick up on any passages copied from a scholarly book or article. Nevertheless, many students continue to submit essays which do not always adhere to referencing guidelines, in part because they are unsure about what constitutes plagiarism. For a definition of plagiarism as well as strategies to avoid it, see Part I: Chapter 5. Plagiarism matters because original ideas are the currency of universities. And universities make and break careers. A critical part of your university training is how to be original and to articulate your ideas in the written form of a research essay. Most, if not all, university research draws on other people’s work – criticising, extending, and refuting it. Acknowledging where your work ends and someone else’s begins is key. Follow that principle and you do not run the risk of plagiarism by accident or otherwise. If in doubt, always ask your instructor. I have only just started to study this topic. How can I possibly say anything even remotely original? Many new students wonder and worry about this. Surely one needs to have studied a field for years before one can possibly come up with something new and interesting? The answer is yes – and no. Of course your knowledge of a certain research area and field of study will grow the longer you work in it, making it easier to detect the direction of current debates and what questions remain unanswered (perhaps even unasked). At the same time, it can help to be a relative novice: less familiarity with past debates and approaches may enable you to see a new dimension to a topic. Further, the types of questions asked of texts, issues and events change all the time. So it is part of the nature of scholarship to evolve, along with the people who ask the questions. How much secondary literature is enough? Many students worry about this question and ask their instructor for the ‘right’ number of titles to list in the bibliography. There is no universal, one-‐size-‐fits-‐all answer. It depends on the length of your essay, the topic you are writing about and the argument you are making. In order to get a sense of how much is enough, consider the following:
• Use as much secondary literature as needed to make a compelling case and to flag to your reader that you have immersed yourself in the important debates central to your topic.
• The number of titles you are expected to consult should also be proportionate to the length of your essay. A one-‐page essay with a bibliography of several pages is imbalanced. At the same time, a long research essay with a very short bibliography will look under-‐researched.
• Think about the secondary literature in concentric circles: on any given topic there will be a few titles that are absolutely essential, titles reflecting the most important and influential scholarship in this area to
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which everybody refers. These should be included in every bibliography, no matter how long the essay. Then there are a number of titles that are either less important, or treat aspects of a topic that are peripheral to what you address in your essay. It would be excellent to consult a few of those, but a comprehensive list is not necessary in a short research essay.
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13 Further Reading Did you really get into the research and writing process? Do you want to take it to the next level? Do you wonder how to adjust your writing style to be persuasive and compelling in other situations and genres? If so, here are a few useful titles: Morley Warner, T. (2010) Academic Writing Is… Broadway (revised ed.).
This sister publication to this volume, published by Sydney University Press offers a comprehensive introduction to different kinds of academic writing.
Chin, P. et. al. (2012) Academic Writing Skills. Cambridge, (3 vols.).
These three volumes offer a more detailed introduction to the principles and practices of different kinds of academic writing touching upon many points also discussed in this book. These will be useful to take your writing to the next level.
Savage, A. (2012) Effective Academic Writing. Oxford.
This is again an introduction to different kinds of academic writing but in a more succinct form than the three volumes by Chin et. al (see above).
Turabin, K. L. (2010) Student’s Guide to Writing College Papers. Chicago.
This volume offers a comprehensive guide to writing a research essay Specifically targeted at American college students, but also applying to other academic contexts. A useful book to consult if you want to read about many of the points made in this present volume in more detail.
Turabin, K. L. (2010) A Manual for Writers of Research Papers, Theses, and Dissertations. 8th ed. Chicago.
This book includes a comprehensive, succinct and accessible guide to different kinds of writing in higher education, from the small term paper to dissertation-‐length projects.
Bailey, Stephen (2015) Academic Writing: An International Handbook for Students. New York (4th edition).
This book contains useful exercises targeted in particular at students who are new to the kinds of academic writing practiced at institutions of higher education throughout the Anglo-‐Saxon world.
Germano, W. (2008) Getting it Published. Chicago.
This book offers useful advice to more advanced students at the beginning of their publishing careers.
Marius, R. (2012) A Short Guide to Writing About History. Boston. This book is directed specifically at historians in training but contains lots of useful information for other students of the Arts and Humanities.
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Pinker, S. (1014) The Sense of Style: The Thinking Person’s Guide To Writing in the 21st Century. New York.
This book gives an elegant account of professional writing beyond the university context.
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Conclusion Part I of this book served to introduce the principles and practices of writing a research essay. To this end, it set out the key steps you will need to follow to complete a research project: from deriving a question, thinking about structure and researching the topic through to actually writing the essay as well as editing and proofreading. By now, the challenge of writing a research essay should have become less daunting. Perhaps you even enjoyed the experience! As with most skills, you will get better at essay writing with practice. Write frequently. Write fearlessly. Write with generosity of spirit. Read through the comments on your written assignments. If you cannot revise and resubmit a particular essay, implement the suggestions in your next one. Improving your writing is a life-‐long endeavour in which the journey really is the final destination. As you become a more accomplished essay writer you may want to experiment with different essay layouts and writing styles. Even though most of the time good (and bad) writing is clearly obvious, there is considerable variety in powerful and successful academic prose. Keep improving your writing and make it one of your core assets. It is likely one of the most important skills you will learn at university and it will serve you through your academic and professional life. The exercises and examples included in Part II of this book will help you to practice the individual steps set out in part I.
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Part II
Exercises and Examples
Part I of this book gave you a concise introduction to the principles and practices of essay writing. Yet good writing is hardly a matter of theory. Even if you know the features of a strong and persuasive essay, your writing will only improve if you can apply them in practice. Part II prompts you to revisit some of the major points and to practice them. It includes a number of exercises focused on the major steps of the research and writing process. For all topics there are two kinds of exercises: The first type (‘individual study’) can be used to study on your own. The second type (‘group study’) is open-‐ended and suitable for group discussion or for joint study with a writing buddy. Each section matches up with the material presented in Part I so if you have any doubts as you progress, turn back to the advice presented earlier.
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1 Finding and Developing a Research Question
These exercises allow you to practice how to find a research question and how to distinguish between good essay questions and essay questions that are unlikely to yield a strong and persuasive argument. For more instructions on finding a research question see Step 1 in Part I: Chapter 3. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Have a look at a current volume of a leading journal in your area and pick an article that looks interesting. What is the research question driving the argument in the article? If there is more than one, try to reduce them further by finding one that covers them all. Now consider how clearly this research question is articulated in the article. Is it clearly set out in the introduction? Or can it be derived indirectly only from the way the argument evolves? What effort does the author make to address the ‘so what?’ question in the introduction? 1.2. Let’s assume the general topic you are asked to write about is ‘Happiness’. Pause for a moment and think about how you could turn this topic into an essay question. Write down different questions that come to mind. Write down at least 5 such questions. Now ask the ‘so what?’ for each of the questions you found. What is interesting about this question? Why is it worth asking? Why should we care to know the answer? Take a few notes of possible answers on a separate sheet of paper. Finally, take a third sheet of paper and rank your questions according to how well they are able to respond to the ‘so what?’ question. Which question is the most promising and interesting one? Which one is the last? Compare your three lists with each other. Exercise 2 (group study) 2.1. Start with exercise 1.2. above. Once you are done, swap the unranked list of essay questions with your writing buddy or another member of your writing group. Let them ask the ‘so what’ question for the questions you set and rank them based on their answers. Meanwhile, do the same with your buddy’s list of questions. Compare the results. Do your ranked lists agree? Why or why not? Discuss the results.
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2 Deriving a Structure These exercises sharpen your sense of planning and structure as a key aspect of a successful essay. For more on structuring your essay see Step 3 in Part I: Chapter 3. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Look at a chapter of an academic book or an article that you enjoyed reading in the past. Alternatively, you can also pick one of the three sample essays included at the end of this book. Try to work out its structure. How does the author start? How does he or she sustain the reader’s interest? What point comes first and which one comes last? Take a piece of paper and write out a brief structure/table of contents of the article or chapter using keywords only. Does the structure make sense? Does it tell a ‘story’ of some kind? Can you suggest a better one? If so, what? Why is it better? Exercise 2 (group study) 2.1. The same exercise as above. Discuss the points with your writing buddy or writing group after you have all studied the same book chapter or article. 2.2. Take an essay you have written in the past and break down its structure into a table of contents using keywords only. Now swap the essay with a writing buddy or another member of your writing group. Make them derive a structure for your essay and provide such a structure yourself from your buddy’s essay. Do you think the structure is effective? Does it intuitively make sense? Why or why not? Now look at both structures of the same essay together. Do they agree or disagree with each other? If you felt that the structure of your buddy’s essay could be improved discuss this with him or her.
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3 The Introduction
These exercises shape your awareness of what makes a concise introduction that
starts from a general topic, sets up a question as relevant, and ends with a strong
thesis statement anticipating what the essay is going to argue.
See also Part I: Chapter 4 on writing a successful introduction.
Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. First, let’s revisit the recommendations for good introductions set out in
Part I, Chapter 4:
Now, read through the introduction below and ask yourself how successful it is in following the recommendations for good introductions. Introduction
The WikiLeaks phenomenon has been unprecedented in all of modern history. The organization itself has perplexed punters and policy-‐makers due to their inability to categorize it as media organization, NGO, or spy organization. As such, it has posed radical new risks to the security and governmentality apparatuses of the modern state. It is also the most accessible and manifest display of the inner workings of diplomatic power to any layman. Such a massive phenomenon has been mainly instigated by a core group of no more than a dozen hackers, lawyers, activists, and self-‐
Text box: Introduction – A Checklist
The following are crucial for a good introduction:
! Identify the subject area of the essay topic
! Set up the question relating to this area
! Make a case for why your question is relevant
! State your thesis clearly
Less critical, but still relevant to many essay introductions are the
following:
! How you will demonstrate your thesis
! How your thesis fits within broader scholarship on the topic
! Any omissions or definitions, if necessary
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proclaimed ‘techno-‐anarchists’ who collectively bear no concrete purpose for their actions. It is still unfolding, and indeed, a complete ex post facto, or post mortem, is impossible given that the full extent of the cables are yet to be leaked, it is unclear how much material remains dormant and unannounced by the organization, and to what extent its work might be perpetuated by spin-‐off organizations. However, much speculation and discussion about WikiLeaks has taken place within the blogosphere, further entrenching the phenomenon within the cyberworld itself and within discourses of interdependence and privacy. One of the concepts mentioned in relation to WikiLeaks is that of ‘risk society’. In this essay I will explain how WikiLeaks fits almost perfectly into the model that Beck conceptualized to understand late modernity4 Furthermore, the central problematic of this essay will be whether WikiLeaks, as an institution and as a set of strategies, can be conceived as ‘radical’, both in the political sense and in Beck’s sense of ‘radical modernization’.
Commentary This introduction has all the necessary parts of a strong introduction: it makes a case for the relevance of the topic, touches upon recent debates, formulates a research question and makes a claim (thesis). Ways to improve it emerge in the detail and from the way in which these parts are put together. This applies in particular to the research question and thesis statement at the end of the introduction. As it stands the introduction ends with a thesis statement (In this essay, I will explain…), followed by a research question (Furthermore, the central problematic of this essay…). Yet the thesis statement should follow the research question. Indeed, it should suggest an answer to it. In this introduction, it remains unclear whether, and if so how, the research question and the thesis statement are related to each other. The same applies to the other parts of the introduction. The introduction to the topic should lead up to a problem or interesting question about the topic. In the case of WikiLeaks, the problem could be: how to make sense of a new phenomenon that does not fit into any of the categories we normally use to describe international institutions. This should be followed by a sentence or two on how this problem has been approached and discussed in existing scholarship. The originality of the approach to WikiLeaks taken in this essay could have been worked out more by positioning the thesis in relationship to the existing debate. Other points for improvement:
• Some main concepts of the introduction would benefit from being further developed or explained. This applies first and foremost to the concept of ‘risk society’ (a key term), but also in a lesser sense to the point on ‘discourses on interdependence’.
• The opening sentence should be cut as it makes a sweeping statement ‘about all of modern history’ that does not actually say much. Instead, the
4 Beck, U. (1992) Risk Society: Towards a New Modernity. London.
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essay should start with the next sentence which works out why WikiLeaks is a unique phenomenon that defies categorization.
• The wording of particular sentences could have been improved. This applies in particular to bulky phrases like ‘security and governmentality apparatuses’, ‘central problematic’, etc.
• Overall, the introduction could have been ‘uncluttered’ by removing everything that is not essential to its core purposes of introducing a topic, setting up a research question and proposing a thesis.
1.2. Revise and rework the introduction above following the suggestions made in above. Once you are done, compare it to the version below. Revised Introduction
The online publishing platform WikiLeaks has perplexed punters and policy-‐makers alike. Is this a media organization? A NGO? A spy organization? Some have praised it as an important tool to achieve accountability, transparency and balance of power; others have seen it as a risk to the security and government of the modern state. However that may be, it is obvious that WikiLeaks has provided the general public with the most widely accessible and manifest insights into the inner workings of diplomatic power. This dominant public profile is all the more astonishing, given that WikiLeaks is probably operated by a core group of no more than a dozen hackers, lawyers, activists, and self-‐proclaimed ‘techno-‐anarchists’ who collectively bear no concrete purpose for their actions. So how to make sense of such a multi-‐facetted phenomenon that defies categorization? Of course there is no easy and straightforward answer to this question, in particular as the last chapter in the history of WikiLeaks is yet to be written. To date it is still unclear how much more unpublished material the organization holds, and to what extent its work might be perpetuated by spin-‐off organisations. One of the concepts frequently invoked in scholarly discussions of WikiLeaks is that of ‘risk society’. The term ‘risk society’ was first coined by Ulrich Beck, who used it to describe… This essay explores the question of what the concept of risk society can contribute to our understanding of Wikileaks. More specifically, I argue that Wikileaks can serve as a prime symptom of what Beck has coined ‘radical modernization’.
1.3 Read through the introduction below. How successful is it in following the recommendations for good introductions outlined in the checklist above? Artemis and Apollo: It is Complicated Introduction
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The twins, Artemis and Apollo appear to be very similar, they are twins and both represent the prime of youth for their gender, but do they differ in behaviour and belief? How do these differences manifest themselves within ancient Greek myth? How also do social constructions of gender play a role within the worship of the twin deities? Do the social constructions impact the kind of votives offered to each deity and do they more greatly reflect the myth or the social constructs? This essay will, through myth, look at the relationship that Artemis and Apollo share and also their opinion of sex, their major point of difference. To discuss social constructs Aristotle’s work will be examined, and the votives offered to each deity will be discussed to show how, through the votives, the intent of the person offering the votive can be determined. Do Artemis and Apollo, as sister and brother, illustrate the differences between women and men, and the major concerns of women and men within Greek society?
Commentary
This introduction does introduce a question (or better: several), but fails to make a sufficient case for its relevance. Subsequently it is a little all over the place and as a result does not set up a compelling argument. There is no thesis statement at the end.
Here is a line-‐by-‐line critique of this introduction:
The twins, Artemis and Apollo appear to be very similar, they are twins and both
represent the prime of youth for their gender, but do they differ in behaviour and
belief? Comment: There are too many thoughts in this sentence. It needs to be
broken up into several sentences and clarified. It also remains unclear why
behaviour and belief are singled out as aspects in which differences between
them may emerge.
How do these differences manifest themselves within ancient Greek myth? How also
do social constructions of gender play a role within the worship of the twin deities?
Do the social constructions impact the kind of votives offered to each deity and do
they more greatly reflect the myth or the social constructs? Comment: Why the
sudden focus on gender? It also remains unclear how votive offerings suddenly
came into the picture.
This essay will, through myth, look at the relationship that Artemis and Apollo
share and also their opinion of sex, their major point of difference. Comment:
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Tentative and complicated wording. Odd phrasing. Also: One does not ‘share’ a
relationship, one has one. Moreover: unclear what is meant with ‘opinion of sex’.
To discuss social constructs Aristotle’s work will be examined, and the votives
offered to each deity will be discussed to show how, through the votives, the intent
of the person offering the votive can be determined. Comment: It is largely
unclear what ‘social constructs’ the author refers to and how votive offerings
relate to it. Also: Avoid passive, impersonal constructions like ‘will be
examined…’ ‘can be determined…’ ‘will be discussed…’ ‘by whom? To what end?
Also: avoid repetition of words and phrases : ‘to discuss… will be discussed…’
Do Artemis and Apollo, as sister and brother, illustrate the differences between
women and men, and the major concerns of women and men within Greek society?
Comment: This introduction ends with a question rather than a thesis
statement. Remember that the point of an essay is to put forward your answer to
a question.
1.4. Rewrite the same introduction following the recommendation in the commentary. Artemis and Apollo: It is Complicated Rewritten Version
According to Greek mythology, Artemis and Apollo are twins, the children of Zeus and Leto. Even more so than siblings, twins encourage comparison. The similarities between Artemis and Apollo are immediately apparent: both are at the prime of their youth; both belong to the group of the ‘Olympian gods’; both count amongst the most influential divinities of the Greek pantheon. This essay explores the question of how they were thought to differ from each other and to what end. What are the major differences between them? How do they manifest themselves in ancient Greek myth? Overall, I argue that Artemis and Apollo, as sister and brother, illustrate and reflect the differences between women and men in Greek society beyond the realm of mythology.
Exercise 2 (writing buddy/group study)
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2.1. Take an existing introduction you already have already written or write a new one on a topic of your choice. Swap it with a writing buddy and edit it according to the rules for good introductions set out in Part I: Chapter 4. Discuss ways in which each introduction could be improved. 2.2. Use a research question you have been given for another assignment but that you did not actually write about. Think about how you would answer the so what? question. What is interesting about it? Why is it worth asking? Why should we care to know the answer? Note down a few possible answers. Write a brief introduction to your essay and build these answers into it. Swap it with your writing buddy or another member of your writin group and discuss it.
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4 The Thesis Statement
These exercises sharpen your understanding for what makes a strong thesis statement as well as for the problems that frequently emerge in this context. They also further develop your sense of how thesis statements relate to the introduction as a whole. For more on developing a thesis statement, see Part I: Chapter 4. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Have a look at the sample introductions below. Consider in particular the thesis statements at the end of them. One introduction ends with a weak thesis statement that needs to be developed to become strong and interesting. One has no thesis statement. One ends with several thesis statements. Can you tell which one is which? Example 1.
The Greeks knew their gods were a capricious band, at one moment showering fortune and good luck on their favourites, the next vengeful, brutal and unforgiving. They understood the razor-‐sharp line that separated triumph from tragedy, and just how easily that boundary could be crossed should divine favour be lost. If the gods were revered, they were also to be feared. Under these circumstances, what mortal would dare to laugh in the face of those who held fate in their hands? Yet that is what the Greeks did. From hen-‐pecked Zeus to cross-‐dressing Heracles, laughter was woven into the very fabric of religious doctrine. Just as religion was embedded in Greek society, so humour was embedded in Greek religion. Given the dangerous potential for inviting the gods’ wrath, this essay explores what role humour – and the laughter that resulted from it – played in ancient Greek religion. I argue that humour was at once inclusive and exclusive, serving to unite men with the gods as well as with one another while also, paradoxically, setting the deities apart. I will also show how humour acted to relieve fears of the supernatural, in particular with regard to their almighty power.
Example 2.
Religion has often been considered as a vehicle through which humans have attempted to create meaning in life through imagining a connection to a supernatural being. The tradition of writing and reciting hymns, a religious song or poem, has remained a constant feature of religious practice. It has acted as a means of communication between the human and the divine both on a public and personal scale. In order to understand this human/divine bond and what it means to the adherent, this essay analyses
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ancient Greek hymns and compares them to those from the ancient Near East. This essay suggests that hymns played an important role in bridging the divide between the divine and mortal.
Example 3
Whilst the public consultation of oracles on matters of the polis was certainly a frequent and significant practice within ancient Greek religion, the importance of private consultations to the individual religious experience cannot be understated. In this essay, I explore the patterns of oracle consultations at major sanctuaries such as the Oracle of Apollo at Delphi and the Oracle of Zeus at Dodona, in order to contribute to the scholarship seeking to re-‐emphasise the personal dimension of ancient Greek religion amidst the importance of polis-‐based experiences of religion.
Commentary: Example 1 This introduction has two thesis statements: The first one states, I argue that humour was at once inclusive and exclusive, serving to unite men with the gods as well as with one another while also, paradoxically, setting the deities apart. This is a fine thesis statement, strong and compelling. Unfortunately, it is followed by a second claim: I will also show how humour acted to relieve fears of the supernatural, in particular with regard to their almighty power. As there is no obvious connection between the two theses the second one should be cut. If not, this essay risks arguing two, only marginally connected points. Commentary: Example 2 The thesis statement of this essay reads like this: This essay suggests that hymns played an important role in bridging the divide between the divine and mortal. It would become more powerful if the reader was told upfront how hymns bridge the divide between gods and humans. Developing the thesis statement in this way would make it stronger and more compelling. Commentary: Example 3 This introduction ends with a research agenda but does not include a thesis statement. A possible thesis statement for this essay could have been derived from telling the reader what oracles can reveal about the personal dimension of ancient Greek religion. Exercise 2 (group study) Have a look at the following introduction. Discuss its strengths and weaknesses and suggest ways of improving it with your writing buddy or in group discussion. Focus in particular on the thesis statement.
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Social movements can only emerge among groups already united by a pre-‐existing collective identity. There are a great deal of case studies, essays, and hypotheses dedicated to explaining the ideology behind 'Social Movements,' in which most have common themes as to 'fill in that gap' in which previous articles contain. However, through looking at a certain spectrum of these articles, there is a noticeable loop that connects all these gaps, like that of a ring of three dimensional puzzle pieces perfectly laid out, but not yet put together. For example when studying one such essay of Mario Diani, his protocol is to assess the concept of social movement, filling the gap, or lack of a systematic comparison among the concepts (Diani 1992). More frequently rising are essays dedicated to the explanation of not just social movements, however the inclusion and resolution to what collective identity is. In this essay it is intended to compile this information, analyse and construct a formative response with empirical representations. 2.2. Take a sample introduction you have written for another assignment. Circulate it in class or swap it with your writing buddy for comment. Discuss both introductions in terms of what is strong, and what could be improved.
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5 The Paragraph
These exercises sharpen your awareness of the building blocks that make up a successful essay. They make you think about the structure of an individual paragraph as well as the way in which several paragraphs build on each other. Turn back to Part I: Chapter 10 for more hints on paragraph and style. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Have a look at the paragraph below derived from an undergraduate essay on the question ‘What were the different functions of “prophetic” dreams in ancient Greek society?’ What is this paragraph about? How (early) do we know? What is the internal structure of the paragraph? Does it work as a unit of thought? Could it have been broken up even further? If so, how?
Dream divination was an inherently personal religious experience. For an individual, to believe that a dream was a divinely-‐sent phenomenon was to believe that the divine sphere was communicating with them individually and specifically. To think one’s dreams were supernatural in nature would have also served to reinforce one’s own belief in the divine. Dream interpretation dealt with personal issues, or provided prophecies that would be relevant specifically to the person to whom they manifested. For example, if someone dreamt that they had lost a ring, it usually meant that they themselves were soon likely to lose an eye, due to their similarities in shape and ‘radiance’, according to the Oneirocritica. Though such interpretations of different in-‐dream symbols and their meanings provided by dream interpreters, or oneiromancers, were universally applicable, they were often personalized around specific details, such as the age, occupation, marriage status, health, and social standing of the enquirer. Artemidorus writes that it is a good omen for a priest to dream of wearing white garments, but for a sick person, to wear white garments in a dream meant that their death was impending. The meaning of dreams also differed greatly depending on the gender of the dreamer. An individual could even attempt to interpret the divine nature of their own dream, though as with oracles, it likely would have been viewed as more prudent to confer with a professional in the matter. Dreams were viewed as mostly epiphanic in nature, though, in a process known as incubation, one could attempt to induce a divinely-‐sent dream that would provide them with guidance on a particular matter, much in the same way as enquiring an oracle. Oneiromancy was an important aspect of Greek religious practice, as it allowed the divine to intersect with the mundane, and illustrates that Greek religion was personal, arguably more so than it was communal.
Commentary This paragraphs opens with a strong ‘subject sentence’ telling the reader what this paragraph will focus on: Dream divination …as a personal religious experience. The next few sentences spell out how this is the case (For an
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individual…to whom they manifested.). An example from Artemidorus Oneirocritical illustrates this point (For example,…). The reminder of the paragraph (starting from: The meaning of dreams also differed greatly… mentions special aspects in which prophetic dreams provided information specific to a particular individual. The last sentence (Oneiromancy was an…) sums up the major theme of the paragraph. With regard to further paragraph breaks: Every unit of thought potentially warrants its own paragraph. So this paragraph could have been further broken up in any combination of the following paragraphs (I have included subject headings for clarification of the unity of the new paragraphs): Prophetic dreams as a personal encounter of the supernatural Dream divination was an inherently personal religious experience. For an individual, to believe that a dream was a divinely-‐sent phenomenon was to believe that the divine sphere was communicating with them individually and specifically. To think one’s dreams were supernatural in nature would have also served to reinforce one’s own belief in the divine. Dream interpretation dealt with personal issues, or provided prophecies that would be relevant specifically to the person to whom they manifested. The example of Artemidirus’ Oneirocritica For example, if someone dreamt that they had lost a ring, it usually meant that they themselves were soon likely to lose an eye, due to their similarities in shape and ‘radiance’, according to the Oneirocritica. Though such interpretations of different in-‐dream symbols and their meanings provided by dream interpreters, or oneiromancers, were universally applicable, they were often personalized around specific details, such as the age, occupation, marriage status, health, and social standing of the enquirer. Artemidorus writes that it is a good omen for a priest to dream of wearing white garments, but for a sick person, to wear white garments in a dream meant that their death was impending. Other ways in which prophetic dreams are personal The meaning of dreams also differed greatly depending on the gender of the dreamer. An individual could even attempt to interpret the divine nature of their own dream, though as with oracles, it likely would have been viewed as more prudent to confer with a professional in the matter. Dreams were viewed as mostly epiphanic in nature, though, in a process known as incubation, one could attempt to induce a divinely-‐sent dream that would provide them with guidance on a particular matter, much in the same way as enquiring an oracle. Oneiromancy was an important aspect of Greek religious practice, as it allowed the divine to intersect with the mundane, and illustrates that Greek religion was personal, arguably more so than it was communal. Commentary: The last paragraph would be further strengthened by turning the opening line into a proper subject sentence for this paragraph. E.g. The meaning of dreams also different greatly in other, highly personal ways. According to gender for example…
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Exercise 2 (writing buddy/group study) 2.1. Look at the paragraph below (from the same essay). Consider the following questions first by yourself, then discuss them with your writing buddy or in group discussion. What is this paragraph about? What is the internal structure of the paragraph? Does it work as a unit of thought? Could it have been broken up even further? If so, where?
Dream divination was prolific in ancient Greek literature and storytelling, serving a narrative function as well as revealing attitudes towards divination and superstition. Indeed, prophetic dreams are a recurring motif in the most famous of all Greek stories and cultural touchstones, the Homeric poems. Two types of prophetic dream are present in The Iliad and ‘The Odyssey’, those which act as direct messages or warnings from the divine or supernatural, and those with signs that must be interpreted. Dreams of the former type are far more common in Homer, such as the dream experienced by Agamemnon, wherein Zeus deceitfully commands him to attack the Trojans, or the dream experienced by Achilles, wherein the ghost of Patroclus visits him and tells him to bury his bones so he can travel to the underworld. These dreams, and numerous others of the same style throughout both of Homer’s epics, are not dreamt in the normal sense, but ‘visit’ the characters as visions of loved ones or familiar individuals. These dreams undoubtedly serve a literary purpose, forwarding the plot of the epic and depicting the supernatural in a manner that may seem formulaic. However, as argued by Eric Robertson Dodds, this form of dream was likely adapted from the Greek religious experience by Homer in the form of a literary technique, and was a type of prophetic dream believed to have been experienced in ancient culture. The interpretation of dreams was clearly valued during the time of Homer, as evidenced by the mention of professional dream interpreters at several points throughout Homer’s work, such as Eurydamas in The Iliad (who ironically does not foresee the deaths of his sons). Dreams were also viewed as meaningful platforms for divination. The prevalence of dream divination in Greek culture is seen through the ways in which Homer’s epic poems reflected archaic Greek beliefs and practices regarding dreams and dream interpretation.
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6 The Footnotes
These exercises strengthen your awareness of the kind of statements, observations and claims that warrant a citation or quote. The question of when to quote and when to cite is discussed in detail in Part I: Chapter 5. For more on referencing, see Part I: Chapters 6 and 7. Exercise 1 (individual study) Read through the extract below from an essay on WikiLeaks and try to determine where a footnote is needed.
However, this should not be surprising, for the government’s role should be to represent expert knowledge on risk. If modern government is abstracted and conceived as a rational function of society through which the distribution of power and resources is channelled for the betterment of the greatest number, then the logic of the workings of government, not necessarily its policies naturally belong in a different epistemological sphere in the same way that scientific evidence of risk should theoretically be separate to social and political decision-‐making. As John Dewey argues, and as Beck adopts, consequences, not decisions, lie at the heart of politics. It is over the consequences of the actions of government that the civil actors in Habermas’ sphere of ‘communicative rationality’ should form civil discourse. However, the growth of the bureaucratic state has made it almost impossible for government to occupy this abstract role, and has created spaces for the state to exert top-‐down power and violence to separate its own contested sphere of rationality from that of civil discourse. The reflexive growth of a global civil society alongside and co-‐dependent with the bureaucratization and rationalization of spheres of public life has perhaps reduced the spaces for independent criteria through which to judge government to be developed. The government has therefore had the ability to reinscribe its own power through the type of discourse which is mistaken for real, well-‐intentioned diplomatic work. In Žižek’s terms, the government has occupied its traditional role only where the force of the market as a ‘Big Other’ -‐ the power that guarantees an objective basis for responsibility and risk in modern society-‐ has failed.
Commentary: the same text with footnotes
However, this should not be surprising, for the government’s role should be to represent expert knowledge on risk. If modern government is abstracted and conceived as a rational function of society through which the distribution of power and resources is channelled for the betterment of the greatest number, then the logic of the workings of government, not necessarily its policies naturally belong in a different epistemological sphere in the same way that scientific evidence of risk should theoretically be separate to social and political decision-‐making. As John Dewey argues,
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and as Beck adopts, consequences, not decisions, lie at the heart of politics.5 It is over the consequences of the actions of government that the civil actors in Habermas’ sphere of ‘communicative rationality’ should form civil discourse.6 However, the growth of the bureaucratic state has made it almost impossible for government to occupy this abstract role, and has created spaces for the state to exert top-‐down power and violence to separate its own contested sphere of rationality from that of civil discourse. The reflexive growth of a global civil society alongside and co-‐dependent with the bureaucratization and rationalization of spheres of public life has perhaps reduced the spaces for independent criteria through which to judge government to be developed.7 The government has therefore had the ability to reinscribe its own power through the type of discourse which is mistaken for real, well-‐intentioned diplomatic work. In Žižek’s terms, the government has occupied its traditional role only where the force of the market as a ‘Big Other’-‐ the power that guarantees an objective basis for responsibility and risk in modern society-‐ has failed.8
Works Cited in this Passage: Beck, U. (2006) ‘Living in the World Risk Society’, Economy and Society, 35,
329-‐45. Beck, U. (1992) Risk Society: Towards a New Modernity. London. Dewey, J. (1983) Logic: The Theory of Inquiry. New York. Habermas, J. (1984) The Theory of Communicative Action, transl. T. McCarthy.
Boston. (German orig. 1981) Žižek, S. (1998) ‘Risk Society and its Discontents’, Historical Materialism, 2,
143-‐64. Exercise 2 (group study) 2.1. Take the exercise above and discuss with your writing buddy or writing group why the footnotes were placed where they are. 2.2. Take an essay you have written before and remove all footnotes. Share it with a writing buddy or other members of a group and discuss where footnotes are needed and what kind of information should or could go into these footnotes.
5 Dewey 1983: 12; Beck 2006. 6 Habermas 1984: 44. 7 Beck 1992. 8 Žižek 1998.
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7 The Conclusion These exercises allow you to practice crafting a strong and compelling conclusion that summarises the argument and presents it in a new light. For more on writing your conclusion, see Part I: Chapter 4. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Have a look at the conclusion below which belongs to an essay on the following question:
Given the overwhelmingly male dominated Greek moral universe central to his work, why do Herodotus’ Histories feature a number of powerful women?
How successful is it in following the recommendations for conclusions set out in Part I: Chapter 4? Do you get a good sense of what the essay is about?
Conclusion
In conclusion, the powerful women of The Histories certainly challenge the masculine bias usually attributed to Ancient Greece, but in some ways they reinforce it as well. This is particularly evident when analysing how Herodotus’ differing portrayals and outcomes relate to their marital status and to the public/private areas in which they act. But it would be wrong to assume that this contradicts there being ideas of androgyny and balance between the sexes. Ament says that, ‘Androgyny was never far below the surface of the mind, especially in societies as gender rigid as ancient Greece.’ As The Histories sit somewhere between literature and history it would not be unusual for them to follow in the tradition of classical Greek literature by indirectly examining different ideas about the nature of women and their place in society. On the basis of this enquiry, Herodotus could certainly be added to Ament’s list of, ‘writers, including Euripides, Plato and Aristophanes that accepted the concept of androgyny and promoted its ideals.’
Commentary
Overall, this is well done. This conclusion does a good job in summarizing the major points of the essay and in presenting them in a larger and more general light. A few points where it could have improved. Firstly, the phrasing could do with some editing in some places. Secondly, it would be better not to end with a quote, as it weakens the author’s own voice. Lastly, to improve the conclusion even more, some farther-‐reaching implications of the essay topic could have been flagged. Exercise 2 (group study)
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Swap a conclusion of an essay you have written before with your writing buddy and edit it according to the recommendations for conclusions made in Part I: Chapter 4. Discuss your suggested changes with the writing buddy or in class.
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8 Giving your Essay a Title These exercises raise your awareness of which kind of titles work best in fulfilling the two criteria of a good title: triggering the interest of your reader and providing an inkling as to your thesis or argument. For more on what makes a good title, see Part I: Chapter 4. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Look at the following titles. These were suggested in response to a question that asked students to discuss the wrath of Achilles in Homer’s lliad. Which one is best based on the recommendations for good titles set out in Part 1: Chapter 4? ‘Hector is Dead, So I Win: Achilles’ Attitude to the Individual and the Collective in
the Iliad’ ‘Analysing Achilles’ Anger in Homer’s Iliad’
‘The Effectiveness of Achilles’ Anger in Homer’s Iliad’ ‘The Battle between Love and Anger’
‘Saving Patroclus: Anger, Love and Revenge in Homer’s Iliad’ ‘Sing Muse of the Wrath of Achilles! Song Culture and the Theme of Anger in
Homer’s Iliad’ Commentary: ‘Hector is Dead, So I Win: Achilles’ Attitude to the Individual and the Collective in the ‘Iliad’ This title definitely draws the reader in, and flags a subject-‐area that the essay will discuss (the individual and the collective in the text). The link to anger is slightly obscure, however, and the title is not very good at giving an indication of the essay’s argument. Analysing Achilles’ Anger in Homer’s ‘Iliad’ This title is too plain. It merely reiterates the question. There is no indication where this essay will go. The Effectiveness of Achilles’ Anger in Homer’s ‘Iliad’ as a narratological device This title is not bad, but a bit too wordy and unclear what is meant with ‘effectiveness’. It could also be improved by a catchy main title. The Battle between Love and Anger This title is intriguing, but nondescript. This title would benefit from a clarifying subtitle which indicates what kinds of texts are to be considered here. Saving Patroclus: Anger, Love and Revenge in Homer’s ‘Iliad’
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This title ranks highly on both scales of what a good title should do: triggering the reader’s attention and providing an inkling towards what the essay will argue. ‘Sing Muse of the Wrath of Achilles! Song Culture and the Theme of Anger in Homer’s ‘Iliad’ Again, this is a great title. Catchy and successful in pointing towards what this essay is going to argue, and clever in incorporating a famous quote from the text. ‘Song culture’ will need to be to be clarified in the introduction to this essay. Exercise 2 (group study) 2.1. Imagine the question you are asked to answer is ‘What do historians and detectives have in common’? Now try to come up with a preliminary title based on the recommendations for good titles in Part I: Chapter 4. Once you have done this, have a look at the real-‐life titles below which were suggested by students in response to the same question. Which one do find best? Why? How successful are they in implementing the recommendations for good titles? Discuss your views with a writing buddy. ‘History as a Crime Scene: The approaches and methodologies of the Historian’
‘Writing History’ ‘The Historian and the Detective: A Comparative Approach’
‘Detecting History: The Role of the Historian in Creating Social and Cultural Histories’
‘Historians: Detectives Across Time’ ‘Looking at the Historian as a Detective’
Finally, revisit your own title. How does it compare? What does your writing buddy think about it?
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9 The Bibliography The following exercises allow you to practice what kind of things you have to look out for when correcting a bibliography for consistency. For more on how to compile a bibliography look back to Part I: Chapter 7. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Edit the following bibliography following the bibliographic style set out in Part I: Chapter 7. Then check against the corrected bibliography below. Did you spot all the mistakes and inconsistencies? Adkins (1997) ‘Homeric Ethics’ in Morris, I. and B. Powell (eds.) A New
Companion to Homer. Leiden, 694-‐714.
De Lia, D. The Achilles Complex: Preoedipal Trauma, Rage, and Repetition,’
Psychoanalytic Review 91
Detienne, M. and Vernant, J.-‐P. (1991) cunning intelligence in greek culture and
society, transl. J. Lloyd. Paris. (French orig.1974).
Fowler, R. (ed.) (2004) The Cambridge Companion to Homer.
King K. C. (1987) Achilles: Paradigms of the War Hero from Homer to the Middle
Ages Berkeley
Zanker, G. (1996) The Heart of Achilles: Characterization and Personal Ethics in
the Iliad. Michigan.
Morris, I. and Powell, B. (1997) A New Companion to Homer. Leiden.
Muellner, L. C. (1996) The Anger of Achilles : Mēnis in Greek Epic. Ithaca.
Scully, S. (2003) ‘Reading the Shield of Achilles: Terror, Anger, Delight,’ Harvard
Studies in Classical Philology 29-‐47.
Tsagarakis, O. (1971) ‘The Achaean Embassy and the Wrath of Achilles,’ Hermes
99, 257-‐77.
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Commentary: Corrections are in bold. Adkins, A. (1997) ‘Homeric Ethics’ in Morris, I. and Powell, B. (eds.) A New
Companion to Homer. Leiden, 694-‐714. [Consistency is key, here the
initials should be placed after the surname.]
De Lia, D. (2004) ‘The Achilles Complex: Preoedipal Trauma, Rage, and
Repetition,’ Psychoanalytic Review 91, 179-‐99. [Dates and page numbers
make up the essential bibliographic information.]
Detienne, M. and Vernant, J.-‐P. (1991) Cunning Intelligence in Greek Culture and
Society, transl. J. Lloyd (French orig.1974). [Watch out for capitalisation
errors.]
Fowler, R. (ed.) (2004) The Cambridge Companion to Homer. Cambridge.
King, K. C. (1987) Achilles: Paradigms of the War Hero from Homer to the Middle
Ages. Berkeley. [3 punctuation errors.]
Morris, I. and Powell, B. (eds.) (1997) A New Companion to Homer. Leiden.
[companions are most likely edited volumes, so make sure you don’t miss
the editor.]
Muellner, L. C. (1996) The Anger of Achilles : Mēnis in Greek Epic. Ithaca.
Scully, S. (2003) ‘Reading the Shield of Achilles: Terror, Anger, Delight,’ Harvard
Studies in Classical Philology 101, 29-‐47. [The volume of the journal is a
vital piece of information.]
Tsagarakis, O. (1971) ‘The Achaean Embassy and the Wrath of Achilles,’ Hermes
99, 257-‐277.
Zanker, G. (1996) The Heart of Achilles: Characterization and Personal
Ethics in the Iliad. Michigan. [A reference list should be organised
alphabetically by surname.]
Exercise 2 (group study) 2.1 Compile a bibliography of 10 titles on friendship in Jane Austen’s novels following the bibliographic style set out in Part I: Chapter 7. The bibliography should include monographs, book chapters and journal articles. Swap it with another student and check how many mistakes you can find in the other’s bibliography.
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10 Revising and Editing These exercises sharpen your eye for the kind of problems and mistakes you may wish to correct as part of the revision and editing stage of the essay writing process. Step 5 of Part I: Chapter 3 as well as Part I: Chapter 10 will give you more pointers on what to look out for when revising and editing.
Exercise 1 (individual study)
1.1. Edit the following paragraph by simplifying words and sentences and by correcting mistakes.
In book 6 of Herodotus Histories, the following story is told by the Spartan
King Leotychides: three generations earlier, there was a Spartan by the
name of Glaucus, who had an outstanding reputation all over the Greek
world for being a particularly honest man. A stranger from Miletus once
visited this Glaucus.9 The stranger appealed to Glaucus great honesty and
handed over half of his money to him for safekeeping. He also gave him
some tallies and instructed him to release the funds only to whoever was
able to produce the corresponding halfes. A number of years passed. One
day the son’s of the Milesian stranger turned up at Sparta, showed the
tokens and demanded the return of the money. Glaucus, however, denied
having any knowledge of the matter and send the Milesians back home
empty handed. After their departure, he immediately set out to Delphi to
ask the oracle whether he could keep the Money, whereupon the Pythia
allegedly produced the following response… (from Kindt, J. (2016)
Revisiting Delphi: Religion and Storytelling in Ancient Greece. Cambridge)
Sample Edits
In book six of Herodotus’ Histories, the Spartan king Leotychides tells the
following story to the Athenians: Three generations ago, there was a Spartan
called Glaucus, who had a reputation all over the Greek world for being a
9 Hdt. 6.86
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particularly honest man.10 A stranger from Miletus once visited this Glaucus. The
stranger appealed to Glaucus’ great honesty and handed over half his money for
safekeeping. He also gave Glaucus some tallies, and instructed him to release the
funds only to whoever was able to produce the corresponding halves. Years
passed. One day the sons of the Milesian stranger turned up at Sparta, showed
the tokens, and demanded the return of the money. Glaucus, however, denied
any knowledge of the matter and sent the Milesians back home empty-‐handed.
After their departure, he immediately set out for Delphi to ask the oracle
whether he could keep the money, whereupon the Pythia allegedly gave the
following response… (from Kindt, J. (2016) Revisiting Delphi: Religion and
Storytelling in Ancient Greece. Cambridge)
Exercise 2 (group study) 2.1. Swap a one-‐page sample of your writing with your writing buddy. Edit and correct each other’s text. Discuss the changes you have made.
10 Hdt. 6.86.
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11 Writing a Summary These exercises allow you to practice writing a summary of your essay. See Part I: Chapter 4 for instructions on how to write an abstract or summary. Exercise 1 (individual study) 1.1. Look at version 1 of the synopsis first, then compare it with version 2. What are the differences? Why is the second version more successful as a summary of the essay? Version 1:
This essay relates Achilles’ anger to his views on manliness and shows that the two are related to each other. Throughout The Iliad, Achilles is presented as being deeply committed to Archaic manliness. This ideal of manliness becomes tangible in numerous passages throughout the epic. Achilles’ anger seems to be the result of situations in which his own expectations fall short of his status as a Homeric hero.
Version 2:
This essay addresses the question of why Achilles is angry in Homer’s ‘Iliad’. I argue that Achilles’ anger is, to a significant extent, grounded in the ideals of manliness and power specific to the world of the Archaic Greek hero. I first show that throughout the Iliad, Achilles is presented as being deeply committed to this world, its values and ideologies. I then move on to show that this world is defined first and foremost by a certain ideal of manliness as it becomes tangible in numerous passages throughout the epic. Finally, I illustrate that in those situations in which Achilles expresses his anger, he does so in a way that directly appeals to the ideas and values of manliness specific to this world. Achilles’ anger seems to be the result of situations in which his own expectations fall short of his status as a Homeric hero.
Exercise 2 (group study) Write a synopsis of one of the sample essays below (Exercises 13-‐15). Swap and compare it with your writing buddy or with another member of your group and discuss its strengths and weaknesses referring to the recommendation for writing a summary set out in Part I, Chapter 4.
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14 Sample Essays and Commentaries
Sample Essay 1: Text
Peace in Aristophanes’ Acharnians, Peace and Lysistrata
Acharnians, Peace and Lysistrata were written by Aristophanes and performed over a turbulent fourteen-‐year period in Athens. Although they are regarded collectively as his ‘peace plays’ I agree with Newiger’s statement that, “while he manages to accomplish peace in all three comedies, the nature and presentation of peace differ greatly from play to play.”11 It is these differences that I aim to explore, and in this essay I will argue that there is a chronological development in Aristophanes’ treatment of peace, but it is not by any means definitive and should only be viewed in the broadest possible sense. Acharnians is one of Aristophanes’ most topical plays. When it took first prize at the Lenaia Festival in 425BC the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta was already in its sixth year and the rural deme of Acharnia had been ravaged repeatedly in 431, 430, 428 and 427. The forced movement of rural citizens behind the city walls, technically safe but far from the comforts of home and yet still close enough to see their farms and crops being burned to the ground, caused resentment and bitterness as the Athenian state had made no real provisions to accommodate these rural citizens long term, and to some extent the character of Dikaiopolis is emblematic of that discontent. In his history of the Peloponnesian War Thucydides also reinforces this perception of unhappiness.12 At the beginning of the play Dikaiopolis has arrived early on the Pnyx for a meeting and as he waits for his tardy fellow citizens to arrive he looks longingly towards the country dreaming of peace.13 During the assembly it becomes clear that some citizens are financially profiting from the current state of war with Sparta and have no intention of considering peace. This enrages Dikaiopolis and turns him against his fellow citizens, leading to his decision to seek a separate peace on his own terms and only for himself and his household. In simple terms the strain of war has caused irreparable dissent among the Athenian citizen body and Dikaiopolis’ decision to go it alone is a symbol of this state of affairs, the sad irony being that the Athenians are meant to be fighting the Spartans, not each other. There is much comic mileage to be made from the subsequent enactment of Dikaiopolis’ personal peace within Athenian territory and Aristophanes takes full advantage of the opportunities it presents. Peace enables Dikaiopolis to trade with foreigners that the rest of Athens is officially still at war with and he obtains fine foods and delicacies through bargaining (not by the economic exchange of money) which emphasis the difference between rural and urban life, focussing in particular on the natural bounty of the land. Here the reader is presented not just with the dichotomy of
11 Newiger 1980: 219. 12 Th. 2. 14. 13 Ar. Ach. 32-‐6.
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war and peace but with the associated parallels between city and country. However with the arrival of the chorus, an angry band of Acharnians, a further divide becomes apparent, that of vengeance at all costs versus the benefits of a more pragmatic and conciliatory approach represented by the Acharnians and Dikaiopolis respectively. It is not Dikaiopolis who refuses to share his peace treaty with the Acharnians, it is the Acharnians who furiously condemn and want no part of it.14 As the play progresses the question of whether other Athenian citizens also want peace comes up and after seeing Dikaiopolis trading at his market it seems that most of them do, the previously war-‐hungry chorus saying, “I shall never receive war in my home.”15 Yet Dikaiopolis declines to share his peace with everyone who comes asking for a piece of it. This is sometimes seen as evidence of Dikaiopolis’ selfishness but I see it as the natural result of Dikaiopolis having to split from the rest of Athens as he did in the beginning, in order to obtain peace. Don’t forget that Dikaiopolis tried to raise his voice in the Assembly to speak in favour of peace and was not listened to. This rift in the citizen body cannot be healed in one short play and so despite Dikaiopolis’ achievements and enjoyment of the pleasures that come with peace we are ultimately left with a citizen demos divided, not a wholly satisfactory outcome. It has been noted previously that there are many similarities between the protagonists of Acharnians and Peace. Like Dikaiopolis, Trygaios is an old man from the country who wants to end the war so he can return to the place he loves best. However while there are still a number of references to topical events and persons in Peace (eg. the pestles War can no longer find to grind Greek produce down are referred to as the recently deceased generals Kleon and Brasidas), this plot steps further into the realm of fantasy, including some Olympian Gods and a number of allegorical characters who play key roles. Here peace is depicted not as a purely human matter but as something which lies in the hands of the Gods, diminishing the role of human agency in the outcome of war or peace and showing humans as up against the Gods in a struggle for control over their own lives. When, in a parody of Bellepheron’s journey to Olympus, Trygaios flies upwards on a giant dung beetle it is not just tragedy that is being mocked because in turning to the Gods for assistance Trygaios has effectively accepted there is nothing more he can do on earth. There is an element of human helplessness in his attitude that puts him in stark contrast to the resourceful Dikaiopolis and perhaps this is a reflection of an Athenian populace worn down by the associated privations of wartime. It should be noted that while Athens and Sparta were much closer to reaching a peace treaty when Aristophanes was writing this play, the Peace of Nicias was not actually formalised until after the Dionysia festival in the spring of 421 at which Peace was performed.
14 MacDowell 1995: 76. 15 Ar. Ach. 979.
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The peace that Trygaios seeks is different to that sought by Dikaiopolis for two main reasons. Firstly it is more pan-‐hellenic and less Athenocentric in nature. This can be seen in the way the fortunes of multiple poleis are metaphorically grinded up together in a bowl by the personification of War as well as Trygaios’ speech at his wedding in which he asks the Gods to give wealth to the Greeks collectively.16 Secondly there is the personification of peace as a passive object, a statue with no real strength or autonomy of its own (this point is made even clearer by the unusual representation of Peace onstage by a statue and not by an actor). Like a divine statue in a Greek temple, Peace depends on the protection of beings with real autonomy and the gulf between acceptance of war as divine fate and utilising human agency to make changes is made clear when Trygaios is told by Hermes that the Gods, in their anger with the Greeks’ failure to make peace, have gone away and left them to the mercy of War.17 While in the rescue scene the ethnic identity of the farmers who successfully pull Peace to freedom is not made explicitly clear, their co-‐operation is surely a lesson for the mix of Megarians, Spartans, Argives, etc, whose first attempt to rescue Peace failed. By this point in the play it is also clear that Trygaios has transitioned from the comedic standard ‘bold hero setting out on a solo endeavour’ to someone who is more malleable and adaptive in the way he accepts Hermes’ advice and assistance. The joyous and bountiful nature of peace is made clear in the final wedding celebrations of Trygaios to Opora as both their names have connotations with grapes, vines and harvest.18 Putting Lysistrata in context, when this play was performed at the Lenaia Festival in 411BC Athens was going through perhaps the most desperate crisis they had encountered since the Persian War. The Athenian navy, once its greatest military strength had been virtually wiped out just two years earlier in an ambitious expedition to Sicily so they had used their special reserve fund to rebuild it. The effects of prolonged warfare meant that morale was low but at the same time the Athenians had become habituated to war and peace did not look like it would come any time soon. To contemporary audiences the basic plot of Lysistrata, in which an Athenian priestess co-‐ordinates a pan-‐hellenic rebellion of women may not seem as fantastical and unlikely as it did to audiences in 411. But make no mistake, this situation was every bit as improbable as Trygaios flying to heaven on a giant dung beetle or Dikaiopolis successfully negotiating his own personal freedom and enjoying the benefits within Athenian territory. The inclusion of women is not a feminist statement or implies in any way that women should take a role in the running of their polis. Rather it is indicative of the dire straits the Greeks found themselves in at this time and their self-‐perceived inability to visualise negotiating peace for themselves. The inclusion of women also gives Aristophanes a whole new range of stereotypical female vices to laugh at (including drunkenness, deceit and adulterous sex) and ample opportunities for sexual puns and ribald humour. It should be remembered that these plays were 16 Ar. Peace. 1320-‐30 17 Ar. Peace. 203-‐20 18 MacDowell 1995: 193.
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written in a competitive context and in this sense the poets needed to include novel elements which had not been seen before and might garner the audiences’ (and judges’) attention and win their favour. To what extent Lysistrata and Aristophanic old comedy in general functioned as a much needed distraction from the trials of war and an opportunity to simply laugh and have fun is unclear, but it is likely that the improbable situations of these plays was what allowed them to be set in Athens yet retain enough distance from reality to be viewed as quite separate to the audiences own experiences. The difference between the motivation for peace outlined in Lysistrata, compared with that of Acharnians and Peace is that the association of peace with rural idyll and plentiful harvests has gone. In Lysistrata peace is defined in opposition to the absence of men from the family home and by extension to their death in battle that war necessitates. Peace is family and the continued cohesion, security and prosperity of each oikos. Following the above analysis I believe that a coherent chronological development in Athenian attitudes to war can be discerned by an analysis of these plays, BUT only in the broadest possible sense. This is because Aristophanes’ works are so rich and multi-‐layered that you can analyse and understand them from a multitude of different angles and while this is admirable it also makes them difficult to definitively place in context. On top of this, the concept of a chronological development in Aristophanes’ larger body of work is also hampered by the fact that we have access to only eleven of his extant works yet fragments and knowledge of quite a few more plays and may well be missing key parts of the puzzle. Whereas Acharnians featured a populace divided by opinion – revenge vs diplomacy, in Peace the rivalry is displaced to a personification of War itself juxtaposed with Greeks and Gods working together for a common cause. In Lysistrata war has become such a constant part of life that it takes a pan-‐hellenic group of women to collectively ‘force’ their husbands into making peace. What we are seeing here are the psychological effects of prolonged warfare, from widespread anger to perceived helplessness reflected by a reaffirmation of fate and the divine, and finally acceptance of and habituation to war while acknowledging its effect in separating family members and breaking up the oikos. Bibliography Primary Sources Aristophanes, The Acharnians (Trans. Sommerstein, 2002) Aristophanes, Peace (Trans. Sommerstein, 2005) Aristophanes, Lysistrata (Trans. Sommerstein, 2002) Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War (Trans. Strassler, 1996) Secondary Literature Biles, Z. P. (2011) Aristophanes and the Poetics of Competition. Cambridge Robson, J. (2009) Aristophanes: An Introduction. Duckworth
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MacDowell, D. M. (1995) Aristophanes and Athens: An Introduction to the Plays. Oxford Newiger, H-‐J. (1980) War and Peace in the Comedy of Aristophanes. Yale Classical Studies. 26: 219-‐237 Rosenbloom, D. (2006) “Empire and its Discontents: Trojan Women, Birds, and the Symbolic Economy of Athenian Imperialism”, in J. Davidson, Muecke, F. & Wilson, P. eds., Greek Drama III: Essays in Honour of Kevin Lee. Institute of Classical Studies Sidwell, K. C. (2009) Aristophanes the democrat: the politics of satirical comedy during the Peloponnesian War. Cambridge University Press Storey, I. C. (2006) “Comedy, Euripides, and the War(s)” in Davidson, J. Muecke, F. & Wison, P. eds., Greek Drama III: Essays in honour of Kevin Lee. Institute of Classical Studies Tritle, L. A. (2010) A new history of the Peloponnesian War. Blackwell Publishing Wilson, Peter (2000) “Powers of Horror and Laughter: the Great Age of Drama” in O. Taplin ed., Literature in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A New Perspective, Oxford University Press
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Sample Essay 1: Commentary Title: This is a fine subtitle. A catchy main title could have been added to draw the reader in more from the very start. Introduction: Overall this is well done. The introduction starts with a nice, specific opening sentence. It sets up a specific research question (how do the nature and presentation of peace differ in Aristophanes’ three dramas concerned with peace?). The following thesis statement (I will argue…) could have been developed further by spelling out what the chronological development in Aristophanes’ treatment of peace amounts to. As it currently stands the first, strong part of the thesis statement (‘I will argue that that there is chronological development in Aristophanes’ treatment of peace…’) is somewhat diluted by the second part pointing to the fact that no definitive statement is possible. If they are necessary at all, such observations are better saved for the conclusion. Try to avoid statements such as I aim to… but assert yourself more and simply state I explore… Main Body: Strong points of this essay include a clear and logical structure, which is supported by succinct paragraphs. While some of these paragraphs have strong topic sentences others could be improved. A topic sentence needs to let the reader in on the theme of the paragraph early and clarify how it relates to the previous paragraph. Some topic sentences do just that (The peace that Trygaios seeks is different to that sought by Dikaiopolis…). Others are unsuccessful in conveying the paragraph’s theme (e.g. Peace enables Dikaiopolis to trade with foreigners…). Others, again, fail to convey how they build on the previous paragraph. It is for example unclear how the paragraph starting with ‘Putting Lysistrata in context…’ advances the argument made in the previous paragraph. Referencing and Work with Sources: The author of this essay has found the right level of re-‐narration of content from the three texts under investigation here. The level of plot summary is appropriate to the argument. Overall this essay could be improved by engaging more closely with the secondary literature and the texts (sources) themselves. As it stands the footnoting/referencing is underdeveloped. In particular sentences like, This is sometimes seen as evidence and It has been noted previously … raise the question of who has done the noticing and seeing here. The essay is also missing references to primary evidence at various points (e.g. after: focussing in particular on the natural bounty of the land; representation of Peace onstage by a statue and not by an actor; …to speak in favour of Peace and was not listened to…; ample opportunities for sexual puns and ribald humour... Language/Style: The language of this essay flows nicely and is appropriate to the topic under discussion. There is no jargon or overly technical words. Occasionally, however, the writing style becomes a bit too casual for a research essay (e.g. But make no mistake...; Don’t forget…; BUT).
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Conclusion: The last two paragraphs could be merged to form a strong and succinct conclusion. The real strength of the concluding paragraphs lies in the very last sentence of the essay. One wonders if the qualifications in the second last paragraph are necessary at all. Proofreading and Bibliography: This essay would have benefitted from another round of proofreading. As it stands there are a number of inconsistencies, mistakes and overly long sentences which should be broken up and clarified (see e.g. The forced movement…discontent; Peace enables…land; To what extent…experiences;). Titles of books (including in this case those of the ancient sources) should always be in italics (Acharnians, Lysistrata, History of the Peloponnesian War, etc.). The bibliography, in particular, is full of inconsistencies and should be edited to follow a consistent style. The same goes for the footnotes. A further round of editing would have yielded a more polished product.
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Sample Essay 2: Text
The political climate of Louisiana in the years preceding secession and the political factors that led the state to leave the Union.
The years preceding the secession of Louisiana from the United States in 1861 were characterized by a rapid chronological ‘revolution’ in Louisianan political thought and sectionalism, reflective of the unique nature of the state’s secession and subsequent involvement in the American Civil War. Whilst slavery was undeniably at the base of all southern states’ campaigns to resist Union governance, the popular politics of Louisiana represent a nuanced, anomalous chronicle of secession, consistent with a gradual transformation in Louisianan political culture. Whilst the state held the largest slave population in the United States, it was also comprised of a significant number of Unionist sympathizers by virtue of its diverse demographics. As such Unionism prevailed relative to other southern states in the years preceding the war. However, the growth of northern Unionist interference in the state’s affairs shifted the political opinion of Louisiana to initially consider secession as an available means of economic self-‐preservation and political autonomy. These rising sentiments climaxed in the 1860 Presidential election that represented a political ‘revolution’ in Louisianan sentiment, due to the Republican victory’s appearance as an impingement on the state’s autonomy. Subsequent internal media propaganda and campaigns as well as a peak in popular opposition to the Republicans’ federal agenda culminated in the state’s unanimous secession in 1861. The lucrative economic benefits of slavery were unmistakable in Louisiana’s commercial sector and formed a fundamental aspect of the southern sectionalist identity. This is key to understanding the political climate at the base of the population’s constantly evolving and paradoxical relationship with the Union, a volatile equilibrium between economic prosperity and political stability. Bank of Louisiana appraisal certificates highlight that the city of New Orleans and surrounding regions of Louisiana were among the wealthiest in the antebellum period due to the significant value ascribed to slaves and the wealth derived from their constant exchange.19 From this it is possible to ascertain that slavery was an institutionalized and highly normalized aspect of the Louisiana economy, suggesting the essentiality of the practice to the population’s political and economic culture. Johnson postulates that the prevalence of a high intensity slave trade since the city’s French colonial days had ingrained a perception of necessity amongst Louisianans pertaining to the presence of slavery in society, citing that prior to the war the slave population of the city was as high as forty-‐seven per cent.20 As such, the idea of progression amongst northern states to remove slavery from their own institutions threatened the very essence of Louisiana’s thriving economy, rallying a sense of political uncertainty and caution amongst the city’s populace, in light of the move toward a more federal and centralized
19 Citizen’s Bank of Louisiana appraisal certificate: John Minor Wisdom Collection, 1710-‐1960, Manuscripts Collection 230, Box 10, Louisiana Research Collection, Tulane University. 20 Johnson 1999: 109.
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form of government that sought legal uniformity among states. The pervasive nature of the slave economy in antebellum Louisiana formed a coveted and profound structure in the state’s financial operation. In effect, slavery was at the forefront of southern sectionalism and represents an economic structure and political culture integral to understanding the political tensions that developed in Louisiana. In spite of Louisiana’s strong involvement in the protection and cultivation of a slave-‐driven economy, the state did not necessarily ascribe to the agenda of other secessionist states in the years preceding the war, highlighting the unique political culture extant in the state. Louisiana, and in particular the city of New Orleans, were characterized by anomalous demographics that had long given way to a generalized sentiment of Union sympathy, contrary to that of other southern states at the beginning of the 1850s. Adams references Louisiana’s lack of involvement in the Nashville Convention of 1850 as a strong indicator of popular unionist sentiment, given that the convention involved all other southern states in an effort to mitigate the effects of the northern states’ growing power and opposition to slavery. He cites that Whig Party member Daniel Webster’s Speech of the Seventh of March in response to the Compromise of 1850 and gave renewal to the Unionist demographics of Louisiana and politically distanced the state from the ideals of the rest of the south, leading them to reject involvement in conspiracy against northern progression.21 Sacher attributes this uncharacteristic Unionist sentiment to key demographic groups within Louisiana. He posits that the state of Louisiana had a disproportionately high rate of northern immigrants, who in spite of supporting the continuance of slavery, sought to retain strategic ties with the north for continued financial support as well as fostering a sense of nationalism.22 Furthermore, the prevalent Creole and Catholic identities in the state were largely in moral conflict with the ideology of slavery, providing a distinct voice against southern ideals of slavery, with the rest of the south representing largely white and Protestant interests on the national stage. As such, the state’s diverse and anomalous demographics facilitated earlier political interactions with the Union that contributed to an apprehension toward secessionism in the years preceding the formation of the Confederacy. Whilst these demographic features of Louisiana discouraged secession in a manner converse to other southern states, this did not necessarily translate to the state’s complete devotion to Unionist politics. In fact, the extent of Louisiana’s unionism was limited in that it sought to remain in the Union on a symbolic level, without ascribing to abolitionism or reduced autonomy. As such, anti-‐unionist sentiments were indeed present and were gradually fueled by increasing disenchantment with the Union throughout the 1850s. Roland suggests that Louisianans held the idea of secession as an extreme measure of self-‐preservation, which was not deemed necessary or justifiable in the early 1850s.23 He refers to two particular events, which are representative of a larger northern political campaign that he considers key in this growing shift in the political allegiance. The first of these was the publication of ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ by Harriet 21 Adams 1974: 213-‐28. 22 Sacher 2007: 54. 23 Roland 1978: 391.
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Beecher Stowe in 1852. The novel was centered upon the process of abolition, and encouraged Christian morals and values to prevail over tendencies of slavery that she deemed as extremely harmful and damaging to the human psyche.24 Roland posits that this publication gained major traction in Louisiana, where it resonated with large communities of freed slaves and Catholics. In turn, it would have incited fierce opposition and fear within the slave supporting community, to whom it appeared as one of the earlier attempts of northern politics to intrude into southern affairs. This sentiment was intensified throughout the 1850s until another trigger point at the Harpers Ferry incident, which involved abolitionist John Brown’s attempt to incite a slave insurrection in the Virginia town of Harpers Ferry in October 1859. La Foy notes that while the effort did ultimately fail in its short-‐term goal, the ideological impact it had upon the United States at large was highly significant. He reveals that in Louisiana, due to the sheer volume of slaves in proportion to regular citizens, great fear was aroused amongst the population, under the knowledge that such a revolt would be unmanageable.25 As such, he claims that the Louisianan morale became much more hostile toward the north and toward the slaves themselves, rendering them extremely vigilant to any perceived transgressions that could threaten their sovereignty. Thus, whilst Louisianans were less partial to secession than other southern states, the increased imposition of northern ideology into southern territories combined with Louisiana’s unbalanced slave population progressively eroded unionist sentiments and planted a precedent for Louisiana’s ultimate secession. The decade of Louisiana’s progressive shift away from traditional unionist ideals culminated in a clash between local national party politics surrounding the Presidential election of 1860, an event recognized as the ultimate catalyst for the civil war at large. In Louisiana, the result of the election represented an ideological betrayal of the state’s interests, paving the way for irreparable tension and the inevitable secession. Dew highlights that a significant portion of the vote favored the Constitutional Union candidate John Bell along with the Democratic candidate Stephen A. Douglas, both of which represented a vote for unionism in a moderate sense of the word. In spite of the overall victory of the Southern Democratic Breckinridge, the marginal nature of his forty-‐four per cent victory suggest that unionism and American nationalism still formed a part of the Louisianan psyche, in a manner different from that of other more dissident southern states.26 Roland theorizes that the significant minority with aversion to the former two candidates supported a regulated form of unionism stemming from nationalism, which would have had little effect on the state’s autonomy. Furthermore, he argues that given voting was only open to white men, support for unionism was probably much more widespread in Louisiana’s vast minority communities, suggesting the idea of secession was still an extreme concept which most would have preferred to avoid.27 24 Spingarn 2012: 207. 25 La Moy 2015: 141. 26 Dew, 1970: 25. 27 Roland 1978: 391.
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However, the election of the Republican Lincoln marked a turning point in Louisianan political opinion and effectively rendered the state incompatible with the Union. Sacher continues to reveal that the Republican vote was not even an option in Louisianan polls, highlighting the dissent with which the party was regarded in the state. This was due to the Republicans’ central abolitionist agenda as well as their views of a more centralized governance, ideals which threatened the prosperity and culture of slavery upon which Louisiana was built.28 As such, the election of Republican Lincoln in 1860 was undoubtedly the primary catalyst for Louisiana’s secession. The party’s doctrines were evidently deemed completely incompatible with the political aversion of the bulk of Louisianans who favored a position of sovereignty and continuance of slavery within the Union. This newfound secessionist momentum in response to the 1860 election of Lincoln was aggravated by resultant internal and external responses that cemented a newfound, more traditionally ‘southern’ view of the Union, effectively aligned with the intent of preserving slavery at all costs. From the perspective of external politics, the secession was sealed with the Republican government’s lack of interest in compromise or concession to Louisiana’s economic interests. Winters argues that this conclusion was primarily drawn from the newly elected government’s refusal to adapt the Crittenden proposals, a list of stipulations of southern states requesting increased autonomy in regard to slavery. He claims that this was the first time in the antebellum period that Louisiana had been unable to retain an extent of compromise and sympathy with the Union, due to the authoritarian tendencies of the new government in relation to slavery.29 The particularly harsh measures against slavery proved too great for Louisiana to adopt, and as such this renewed political attitude toward the concept of the union lead to increased pressure from state institutions to reject the autocratic nature of Lincoln’s rule. As such, the external policies of the federal government that sought to police Louisiana’s economic and political sovereignty set in motion movements to alter political opinion within the state and to align the state with the rest of the south on a political level. Internally, the Republican victory was seized upon by pro-‐secessionist politicians and media outlets and manipulated in the form of highly politicized propaganda calling all Louisianans to reject the dangers of Unionist domination and aim to retain the crucial economy of slavery. Such is firstly evidenced by prominent New Orleans newspaper the Daily Picayune, a publication that aligned its views with secessionism immediately following the election of Lincoln, stating that ‘the north and south are completely heterogeneous and are thus better off apart…’ seeking to efface the last remnants of unionism in the state.30 Caskey posits that such propaganda was aimed specifically at remaining minorities who opposed secession in order to ease the process by which the state could claim its own sovereignty. Furthermore, he claims that most publishers would have had a
28 Sacher 2007: 54. 29 Winters 1963: 3.2. 30 Daily Picayune, January 1 1860, New Orleans quoted in Roland 1978: 391.
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vested interest in the retention of slavery and thus influenced public perception in order to secure their own futures.31 In addition to media propaganda, internal political campaigns were equally as important in cementing the status of secession. Powell also alludes to the aggressive campaigning of Louisianan politicians such as senator Judah P. Benjamin, who sought to stigmatize those who remained loyal to the Union as ‘submissive’ and ‘dishonorable’ in public forums. He posits that such internal and direct campaigns would have invoked significant apprehension and uncertainty amongst the general populace, coercing them to join the secessionist movement in order to avoid ostracism and disrepute amongst the community.32 Local secessionists thus capitalized on the inflexibility of the Union’s Republican government through statewide propaganda to extinguish any remaining Unionist loyalty in the state secession, hence facilitating the severing of ties with the Union in 1861. The secession of Louisiana from the Union in 1861 was the result of a delicate process of shifting political values in response to growing abolitionist sentiment in the Northern United States, which manifested itself in the south progressively throughout the 1850s. In spite of the state’s fierce reliance on the institution of slavery, Louisiana can be considered somewhat anomalous in its initial attitude toward the abolitionist policies of the north, given that it largely supported the preservation of the Union. However, this political identity was steadily eroded with the progression of the decade preceding its secession, given the occurrence of increased interference of northern ideology in the south. The election of a Republican president in 1860 culminated in a rapid dissent amongst Louisianans toward the Union. This was due to the government’s unwillingness to negotiate on regionally based issues and the resultant campaigning of local press and politicians, resulting in the state’s secession as a result of the attrition of Louisianan loyalty to the Union. Bibliography: Primary Sources: Daily Picayune, January 1 1860, New Orleans quoted in Roland, C.P. 1978, ‘Louisiana and Secession’, Journal of the Louisiana Historical Association, vol. 19, no. 4, 391. Citizen’s Bank of Louisiana appraisal certificate: John Minor Wisdom Collection, 1710-‐1960, Manuscripts Collection 230, Box 10, Louisiana Research Collection, Tulane University Secondary Literature: Adams, W. H. 1974, ‘The Louisiana Whigs’, Journal of the Louisiana Historical
Association 15: 213-‐28.
31 Caskey 1938: 64. 32 Powell 2006: 105.
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Caskey, W. M. 1938, ‘Secession and Restoration of Louisiana’, Journal of Southern History 4: 64
Dew, C.B. 1970, ‘Who Won the Secession Election in Louisiana?’, Journal of
Southern History 36: 25 Johnson, W. 1999, ‘Soul by Soul: Life inside the Antebellum Slave Market’, Harvard
University Press, pp. 109 La Moy, W. 2015, "The Secret Six and John Brown’s raid on Harpers Ferry: Two
Letters", The New England Quarterly, vol. 88, no. 1, pp. 141. Powell, L. 2006, "Centralization and its Discontents in Reconstruction
Louisiana", Studies in American Political Development, vol. 20, no. 2, pp. 105 Roland, C. P. (1978) ‘Louisiana and Secession’, Journal of the Louisiana Historical
Association 19, pp. 391 Sacher, J.M. (2007) A Perfect War of Politics: Parties, Politicians and democracy in
Louisiana 1824-‐1861. Louisiana. Spingarn, A. 2012, "When Uncle Tom Didn’t Die: The Antislavery Politics Of H. J.
Conway's Uncle Tom’s Cabin", Theatre Survey, vol. 53, no. 2, pp. 207 Winters, J.D. 1963, ‘The Civil War in Louisiana’, Baton Rouge, LA, pp. 32
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Sample Essay 2: Commentary Title: Informative but not catchy enough and a bit wordy. Looks like the student has turned the essay prompt into a title. Introduction: This introduction starts with a specific opening sentence, which brings the reader right to the core of the topic. It could be improved by working out the research question and thesis statement more strongly. This would allow the author to highlight the originality of the analysis that follows. At the moment, the research question, the thesis statement and the originality are implied in a series of positive statements about the nature of the political climate of Louisiana in the years preceding the secession. Main Body: This essay has a clear paragraph structure. Overall, the topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could be improved by making them anticipate the theme of the paragraph. Long paragraphs could have been broken up into shorter ones. Referencing and Work with Sources: Not all claims are backed up with references to primary sources. For example one would have liked to have found a reference in the opening paragraph to sustain the claim that the state of Louisiana had the largest number of slaves in the entire US. The same applies to the third paragraph: a reference to in support of the claim that the state of Louisiana and in particular the city of New Orleans had an ‘anomalous demographics’ would have been desirable. References to the secondary literature should be moved to the end of the first sentence to which they refer (rather than being placed at the end of the last sentence). The essay uses the secondary literature mostly in support of its argument. A critical engagement with some of the points made in the secondary literature would have further improved the critical outlook of this essay. Language/Style: This essay could be improved by making the language flow more smoothly. As it stands the argument is quite dense and it is not always easy for the reader to follow. The flow of the information presented could be improved achieved by cutting down long sentences, reducing nominalisms, and by choosing simpler words and phrases. Individual sentences could be revised to let the reader in on the topic earlier (e.g. by clarifying early on in the sentence who is the agent and what is happening). Certain phrases are repeated too often (e.g. As such…), and vocabulary within sentences could do with more variation as well (e.g. …the resultant campaigning of local press and politicians, resulting in the state’s secession as a result of the…). Conclusion: Strong and to the point. Proofreading and Editing: Formally this essay is of a good standard with just a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation. The footnotes are well placed, and consistent in style. The bibliography needs to be edited for consistency. It should show the page ranges of articles instead of the page referred to in the essay.
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Sample Essay 3: Text
Shooting the Marksman: Postmodernism, Genre, and Synchronicity in Kurt
Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-‐Five Synchronicity for Jung was distinguished by the idea that “remarkable coincidences are not necessarily fortuitous or accidental… not only are psyche and matter in contact, they are in meaningful contact, the kind that produces revelations”. Conversely, Jean Baudrillard’s book Simulations pushes back the traditional or original idea of Jungian synchronicity in the way that it asserts the idea that reality is a compilation of signs and symbols, a map of simulacra moving further and further away from the real. He makes the claim in reference to religious icons as an example that “...the whole system becomes weightless, it is no longer anything but a giant simulacrum -‐ not unreal, but a simulacrum, never again exchanging for what is real, but exchanging in itself, in an uninterrupted circuit without reference or circumference” (11). If we place these ideas in juxtaposition to Jean-‐Francois Lyotard’s conversations on postmodernism we can situate ourselves in the mode of what it is that the postmodern is doing or perhaps, what it can be responsible for: “Finally it must be clear that it is our business not to supply reality but to invent allusions to the conceivable which cannot be presented” (Lyotard 81). Fredric Jameson’s book Postmodernism or The cultural logic of Late Capitalism poses the argument that “there is no such thing as ‘history’ either” (282). Gathering all of these theoretical ideas and arguments and placing them beside the statement made by John Frow that “Through the use of genre we learn who we are, and encounter the limits of our world” (144) we can explore the ways in which the postmodern reflects on or is reflected on, in relationship to genre, and what this means to postmodernist literature as a whole. Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-‐Five will function as the subject of this case study, and I will explore throughout this paper its uses of genre in a postmodern context in relationship to the ideas asserted by Jung, Baudrillard, Lyotard, and Jameson. Perhaps what we find at the end of it all, is that the postmodern becomes the vocal chord for the unsayable, it speaks in loud whispers. Genre winds itself through the postmodern, and in turn we can think of the postmodern novel as a neural-‐net; a collection of memories, synchronistic experiences, simulacra, generic modes, that are always already moving and making meaning in collaboration. Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-‐Five works as an ideal case study for this exploration of postmodernism and genre, as the novel opens by straddling genre lines. Vonnegut writes:
ALL THIS HAPPENED, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true. One guy I knew really was shot in Dresden for taking a teapot that wasn’t his. Another guy I knew really did threaten to have his personal enemies killed by hired gunmen after the war. And so on. I’ve changed all the names. (1)
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As Jameson suggests in Postmodernism or The cultural logic of Late Capitalism postmodernism’s “case for its existence depends on the hypothesis of some radical break or coupure, generally traced back to the end of the 1950’s or 1960’s” (210). The opening of Slaughterhouse-‐Five is a situation of breaking in a doubled sense. Vonnegut has cracked the novel down the middle by positioning himself in this way: we experience the text through Vonnegut the writer and the witness to its events, as well as through the story of Billy Pilgrim who is the novel’s protagonist and a separate entity from Vonnegut. Secondly, this kind of an assertion cracks the postmodern sentiment down the middle.Vonnegut is subscribing to a generic convention while simultaneously breaking it, we are given a roadmap as to how to navigate the text rather than being thrown into an entirely fractured world as the postmodern condition would assume. The novel is both autobiography and fiction. The first chapter is purely autobiography in the voice of Vonnegut and at the end of the chapter, he lets us know that his “war book” hasn’t begun yet: “It begins like this: Listen: / Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time”. While the novel begins with the autobiographical it doesn’t give itself up there, it writes both genres out over the course of the novel’s events. This autobiographical vein of the novel functions most importantly I argue, in relationship to Jung’s conception of synchronicity. We are woken up during our reading by Vonnegut’s removal of the fictional curtain multiple times in the course of Pilgrim’s story. Vonnegut himself seems to be traveling on a camera dolly alongside Pilgrim in sync with his experiences, yet still removed as author. It seems important to Vonnegut that it isn’t that he is writing himself into the narrative, it is that he is always already there. The first time this happens is during our first encounter with ‘Wild Bob’ as Vonnegut peeks out from behind the page: “I was there. So was my old war buddy, Bernard V. O’Hare” (56). The second time is in the latrines at the Russian camp:
An American near Billy wailed that he had excreted everything but his brains. Moments later he said, ‘There they go, there they go’. He meant his brains.
That was I. That was me. That was the author of this book. (103) The third time is at Billy Pilgrim’s arrival in Dresden: “Somebody behind him in the boxcar said, ‘Oz’. That was I. That was me. The only other city I’d ever seen was Indianapolis, Indiana” (122). Synchronicity works in a variety of ways throughout the novel, people, events, and the written word all turn up again and again in different times and places in the same way Vonnegut himself does. Simultaneously, this autobiographical scar that runs across the fictional story of Billy Pilgrim is important to our discussion of the way genre functions in the postmodern context and what synchronicity is doing to loop these ends together. If for Jameson, the postmodern is categorised through a fundamental break, it seems like synchronicity is what allows for a bending rather than a breaking when it works alongside genre. Even though Vonnegut has left the autobiographical for the first chapter and set up the story of Billy Pilgrim as the ‘novel’, he doesn’t leave the autobiographical out as it is looped through the fictional evoking and showcasing of synchronicity. If we think about this in terms of Baudrillard, this situation should move us further away from the real, but
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seemingly here in Vonnegut’s case, it moves us closer to it. All of this leads us back to Frow’s claim that through genre we ‘encounter the limits of our world’. For the postmodern world there are no limits when the utility of genre allows for this. Perhaps we can even call the straddling of the autobiographical and the fictional synchronistic in Vonnegut’s usage, it is the simultaneous and ‘meaningful contact’ of these two genres that in turn, as Jung says ‘creates revelations’. Here, a turn towards the other generic aspects of the novel becomes important, specifically the way Vonnegut is evoking science-‐fiction and black humor as a mouthpiece for a dialectic of philosophy on history and metaphysics. Josh Simpson makes the claim in his paper "This Promising of Great Secrets’: Literature, Ideas, and the (Re) Invention of Reality in Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, Slaughterhouse-‐Five, and Breakfast of Champions "Fantasies of an Impossibly Hospitable World": Science Fiction and Madness in Vonnegut's Troutean Trilogy” that the use of science-‐fiction in Slaughterhouse-‐Five is a disruptive force to the psyche of Billy Pilgrim. He argues that “War psychologically wounds Billy Pilgrim; however, the ideas contained in Kilgore Trout’s science fiction novels are, ultimately, responsible for his complete divorce from reality” (267). He also claims that Vonnegut is putting “what war and bad ideas can do to humanity” on display, the ‘bad ideas’ being those of science-‐fiction. I challenge Simpson’s claim and posit that the science-‐fiction of the novel is working in the same register as Vonnegut’s use of black comedy; it bridges generic repertoires and assists Lyotard’s claim about postmodernism as a platform for “inventing allusions to the conceivable which cannot be presented”. The nucleus of the novel is the horror of war and while Simpson seems to be right about how Vonnegut is showcasing the terror of war on the human psyche, science-‐fiction seems to work as an assistant to this display rather than as a second antagonist. We learn through Billy Pilgrim that “So it goes” is what the “Tralfamadorians say about dead people” (22). ‘So it goes’ becomes the battlecry of the novel through its repetition (it is used 106 times arguably transcending repetition) and simultaneously functions as a black humor device. If we juxtapose ‘So it goes’ with the “If the accident will” (2) from Vonnegut’s autobiographical chapter, it seems that ‘So it goes’ is the fictional version of its let’s say; autobiographical-‐double. It is important to remind ourselves that ‘If the accident will’ preludes Vonnegut’s account of the difficulty he had in writing the novel. The questions of accidents and free will are important themes throughout the novel, linking back to the discussion it develops with synchronicity. Science-‐fiction functions as a platform for this play between black comedy and serious tragedy, between accidents and free will. The sci-‐fi/tragicomic aspects of the novel allow for these difficult and unspeakable questions to be spoken and played out. Lyotard’s conception of the postmodern becomes central in this generic context yet again:
Under the general demand for slackening and for appeasement, we can hear the mutterings of the desire for a return of terror, for the realization of the fantasy to seize reality. The answer is: Let us wage a war on totality; let us witness to the unrepresentable; let us activate the differences and save the honor of the name” (81)
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‘So it goes’ and its autobiographical sister ‘if the accident will’ become the battle cry for not only Slaughterhouse-‐Five but for postmodernism as a whole. The genre-‐bending nature of the use of science-‐fiction and black comedy assume the role of scaffolding for the novel’s postmodern structure.
Perhaps the postmodern novel is the one that works in the mode of the Tralfamadorian: “What we love in our books are the depths of many marvellous moments seen all at one time” (72). Slaughterhouse-‐Five appears to be stacking experiences: the autobiographical experiences of Vonnegut, the science-‐fictional experiences of Billy Pilgrim our tragicomic hero, and the experiences of the postmodern. The novel takes genre and uses it to its advantage, straddling generic repertoires yet using it as a megaphone for its core questions. This seems to be how genre fits into the postmodern context, it isn’t a part of the coupure as Jameson suggests, it crafts a situation of bending rather than breaking. Lyotard’s conception of the postmodern also seems to be represented by Vonnegut’s generic play, leading us back to Frow’s understanding of genre as a field to play out our most important metaphysical conversations on. Frow claims that “Genres carry and organise their culture and fashion our sociality in the broadest sense” (144) and then goes on to quote Miller: “As a recurrent, significant action, a genre embodies an aspect of cultural rationality”. Slaughterhouse-‐Five is an embodiment of exactly this idea, it speaks for genre through a postmodern dialectic, in turn establishing the generic status-‐quo of our postmodern world.
Works Cited Baudrillard, Jean. Simulations. New York City, NY, U.S.A.: Semiotext(e), 1983. Frow, John. Genre. London: Routledge, 2006. Jameson, Fredric. Postmodernism, Or, The Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism.
Durham: Duke UP, 1991. Jung, C. G., and R. F. C. Hull. Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle.
Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP, 1973. Lyotard, Jean-‐François, Geoffrey Bennington, and Brian Massumi. The Postmodern
Condition: A Report on Knowledge. Minneapolis: U of Minnesota, 1984. Simpson, Josh. "This Promising of Great Secrets": Literature, Ideas, and the (Re)
Invention of Reality in Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, Slaughterhouse-‐Five, and Breakfast of Champions "Fantasies of an Impossibly Hospitable World": Science Fiction and Madness in Vonnegut's Troutean Trilogy." Critique: Studies in Contemporary Fiction 45.3 (2004): 261-‐72.
Vonnegut, Kurt. Slaughterhouse 5: The Children's Crusade. Random House UK Ltd.: Vintage, 1989.
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Sample Essay 3: Commentary
Title: This title does an excellent job of drawing the reader into the topic and in anticipating what the essay will be about. Introduction: This introduction starts with a nice specific opening line which brings the reader right to the core of the topic. It is perhaps a bit long winded in its use of quotes to develop this topic further, but it does an excellent job in setting up the subsequent discussion of the novel Slaughterhouse-‐Five as a case study and in formulating a clear research question. The introduction ends with a strong thesis statement. Main Body: This essay follows a logical and well-‐thought out order. The paragraph structure could be improved further. More paragraph breaks could be used to highlight individual steps in the argument particularly given it is a complex topic and the introduction gives no indication as to the structure of the argument to follow. Referencing and Work with Sources: The essay uses quotes from the novel effectively to highlight particular points. More references to the secondary literature would have been helpful. Not all references to the secondary literature are followed up with a citation. A footnote/citation is needed every time a modern author is mentioned. [for me, this essay over-‐quotes but it could be a personal thing..!] Language and Style: This essay discusses a difficult and complex topic. The use of some evocative prose makes it easy to follow, and engaging to read (e.g. p …a megaphone for its core questions). At times, however, the metaphors detract from the meaning. The accumulation which ends the first paragraph is perhaps slightly overdone and the language becomes too colloquial (contractions isn’t, doesn’t should not be used; Formulations like let’s say is not of the formal register). Conclusion: This conclusion does an excellent job of summing up the argument and presenting it in a new light. Proofreading and Editing: Overall, this essay is very well proofread and has obviously gone through a rigorous editing process.