THE BALANCED MALEHEALTHY FROM THE INSIDE OUT
JASON FIERSTEIN, MA, LPC
COUNSELOR FOR MEN
PARADISE VALLEY COMMUNITY COLLEGE
NOVEMBER 17, 2008
What We’ll Talk About Today:• Balancing Your Relationships
and Communication
• Your Keys to a School Life in Balance
• Your Health: Inside and Out
• Beat Stress
• Food and Mood
• Good Mental Health for Men
• The Messages That Hold Us Back from a Balanced Life
The Relationship Balance
• Needs and feelings instead of...
• Men don’t talk to other men this way! Are you crazy?
• The link between anger and depression in men
• Picking the right people for you that help balance your life
• Dropping masks and being real
• Conflict with others - How Not To Communicate
• Avoid the problem/stuff your feelings
• Fighting/criticizing to get what you want
• Linear vs. Circular: Men vs. Women’s Communication Styles
• Technology and Communication: Help or Hinderance?
The Communication Balance
Physical
Emotional
BehavioralHeadaches
Stomach ProblemsMuscle Aches/tension
Flushed/warm faceIncreased heart rate
Decreased/increased appetiteDecreased/increased sleep
Increased muscle/joint painBeing ill more than usual
Signs of Stress
Physical
Emotional
BehavioralHeadaches
Stomach ProblemsMuscle Aches/tension
Flushed/warm faceIncreased heart rate
Decreased/increased appetiteDecreased/increased sleep
Increased muscle/joint painBeing ill more than usual
Increased Substance Use (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, caffeine)
Isolate/Withdraw from peopleMore aggressive/yelling, swearing
Throwing things, fightingIncreased/decreased eating
Decreased activity levelTalking more/less
Signs of Stress
Physical
Emotional
BehavioralHeadaches
Stomach ProblemsMuscle Aches/tension
Flushed/warm faceIncreased heart rate
Decreased/increased appetiteDecreased/increased sleep
Increased muscle/joint painBeing ill more than usual
SadAngry
Impatient, irritableFeeling guilty
Nervous/anxiousLose interest in thingsHard to concentrate
HopelessnessThoughts of suicide/homicide
Increased Substance Use (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, caffeine)
Isolate/Withdraw from peopleMore aggressive/yelling, swearing
Throwing things, fightingIncreased/decreased eating
Decreased activity levelTalking more/less
Signs of Stress
Tips on Dealing With School Stress
• Stay Organized! Pace Yourself and Plan Ahead
• Exercise (It’s Free)
• Your Body Speaking Stress
• Time Management Is The Key
• Know your Tipping Point
• Why You Don’t Ignore Your Stress After You’ve Recognized it
Tips on Dealing With School Stress
• Stay Organized! Pace Yourself and Plan Ahead
• Exercise (It’s Free)
• Your Body Speaking Stress
• Time Management Is The Key
• Know your Tipping Point
• Why You Don’t Ignore Your Stress After You’ve Recognized it
Tips on Dealing With School Stress
• Take Advantage of school resources, such as Counseling, Academic Advising, Tutoring, or your professor’s office hours.
• Grab Your Goals and Reward Accordingly
• $tre$$ Management
• Study What You Enjoy: Choose 1 Class To Provide An Outlet
• The Work-School Balance
Tips on Dealing With School Stress
• Take Advantage of school resources, such as Counseling, Academic Advising, Tutoring, or your professor’s office hours.
• Grab Your Goals and Reward Accordingly
• $tre$$ Management
• Study What You Enjoy: Choose 1 Class To Provide An Outlet
• The Work-School Balance
What you consume may be stressing you
❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high.
What you consume may be stressing you
❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high.
❖ “Food supporters” include fish and its oils, fruits, vegetables, water, complex carbohydrates, protein and B-vitamins.
What you consume may be stressing you
❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high.
❖ “Food supporters” include fish and its oils, fruits, vegetables, water, complex carbohydrates, protein and B-vitamins.
❖ Don’t smoke: People who smoke are likely to be more depressed than non-smokers.
What you consume may be stressing you
❖ Caffeine, sugar, alcohol and chocolate are “food stressors” that make stress worse on the body. Salt contributes to fatigue through dehydration, and high-fat meals raise stress hormone levels and keep them high.
❖ “Food supporters” include fish and its oils, fruits, vegetables, water, complex carbohydrates, protein and B-vitamins.
❖ Don’t smoke: People who smoke are likely to be more depressed than non-smokers.
❖ Exercise! Certain endorphins and other brain chemicals released in response to exercise also produce a natural “high” and reduce stress, pain and depression.
Internalized messages are given to us at an early age. We then create certain ideas about what it means to be a
man based on them.Messages can be social, cultural, religious, parental or even self-
created.
How can you become aware of the messages that propel your
thinking about being a man? Are they healthy or unhealthy
messages, and do they work for you?
Messages (and Myths) About Being a Man
• Not “being a man” by asking for help
• “I’m weak if I have to ask for help.”
• Reducing your “image” to friends, family
• “Strong, silent type” of man (Tony Soprano)
• The OWC Philosophy (“Only Women Cry”)
• “I can handle it myself/I’m in control of it.”
What Works?
• Living lined up with your values
• Positive relationships and effective communication
• Healthy living
• Practicing stress management and good self-care techniques
• Creating school balance for yourself
• Asking for help when its needed
• Staying true to yourself, your wants, needs, and desires
And What Doesn’t Work?
• Bad relationships: friendships, family and romantic
• Poor communication with others
• Eating an unhealthy diet and bad lifestyle choices; poor sleep patterns
• Not asking for help when you need it most
• Not listening to yourself and doing what’s best for you
• Believing cultural messages and myths about “being a man” that prevent you from seeking help