PARENTING THEPARENTING THEPAMPERED GENERATIONPAMPERED GENERATION
Living in a Culture Living in a Culture of Entitlementof Entitlement
Dr. Maggie MamenDr. Maggie MamenPsychologistPsychologist
WARNING!
This presentation may involve politically incorrect opinions,
relatively coarse language,and common sense.
Viewer discretion is advised.
“Children these days are tyrants. They contradict
their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.”
Socrates, 400 BC
CREATING THE “ME” GENERATION
Backlash against “Victorian” parenting
Children’s rights movementLegislation regarding decision-making
Legacy of abuseChild-centred, focus on self-esteem
NOTE TO SELF:YOU GOTTA DO THIS FOR YOU.THIS IS FOR YOU. THIS ISN’T ABOUT ANYBODY. LIVE FOR YOU. HONOUR YOU. NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THAT.
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MYTHS THAT CHILDREN SHOULD …
always be happy and never be bored
be given choices, and be consulted before adults make decisions
be told why they have to do something and agree with the reason
be treated equally to each other and to adults
have their needs met immediately
always feel good about themselves
Culture of entitlement
Confuse rights/privileges, wants/needs
Think they’re ‘management’
Addicted to high levels of stimulation
Zero tolerance for boredom
THE PAMPEREDGENERATION …
Limited problem-solving skills to deal with real life experience
Lack of respect for adults/authority
Child-driven, powerless, devalued parents
Increasing incidence of mental health problems
THE PAMPEREDGENERATION …
“SHORT-TERM PAIN FOR LONG-TERM GAIN”To learn to develop patience and a good work ethic
not everything we do is “fun,” and we won’t always like what we’re asked to dosometimes we have to do something over and over in order to improve hard work, persistence, grit pay off!
“OUT OF BOREDOM COMES CREATIVITY”
(Albert Einstein)
To learn to develop internal resources to adapt to the real world we need to tolerate “down-time ” being “bored” isn’t the ticket to more exciting things to do even virtuosos sometimes have
to play with the orchestra
“SOMETIMES CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN BUT NOT HEARD”
To learn respect for others
“good listening” impulse control a time and a place
“YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!”To learn that our choices give us some control over our fate …
informed choices – if there is a choice! living with chosen consequences building trust and credibility
“LIFE IS NOT A DEMOCRACY”
To learn that life does not
always treat people equally
you will not always be consulted about important decisions “weighted” votes who said life is fair?
A DOZEN USEFUL PHRASES …That’s nice! Good for you! Really?It’s your choice. It’s up to you.I don’t have to, I choose to.We have a problem here.So this is what’s going to happen.If you want an answer now, it’s “no.”That’s not the issue.When you have …, then you may …Let me know when you’re ready.I know you’re angry/upset/…, so …Because I asked you to!Suck it up!