English ClassWhat's the point?
And you have a good point.
If you never took another English class from this day forward, you
would have the basic skills needed to get by in some jobs.
But…
Many years of this...seriously!?
You're probably thinking this right
now.
And you're probably not
alone.
How many of you think English class is
unneccessary since you already know how to read
and write in English?
You would struggle if you:
o Plan to go to college
o Plan to earn a living
o Want to better understand other subjects (like
math, science, history)
o Want to form educated opinions on world
events and issues
o Want to become a critical thinker
In order to achieve
these things…
You'll learn to effectively
communicate with your peers.
QuickTime™ and a decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
You'll be exposed to great literature…
…both old and new.
You'll find creativity you never knew
you had.
“Soft” written by an LMJ student
Socratic Circles
You'll learn to write various
types of essays, responses,
documents--incorporating technology, of
course.
QuickTime™ and a decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
Blah...blah...blah....
Your brains have already shut down now, right!?
So... here's the REAL reason you need
English class:
Because all that previous stuff--while vital to your educational
success--sounds BORING.
So you don't look like an
idiot,
like these folks...
Even if this was just a
computer glyph error
and the commas were
actually apostrophes,
it’s STILL wrong.
“Type’s” and “tool’s”
are not possessing
anything--especially a
“sharp end”!
So if no vehicle is “tresspassing,” why
do we need the sign?
But I thought this was the Guide Dog’s toilet.
Yes, we all want
you to carefully
slip and fall
down, rather
than clumsily slip
and fall down.
Where do I
begin?
Yummmm…
I just LOVE Lobter-Beef-
Shtimp & Chiken Suop!!
It’s almost as good as the Shtimp Suop!
What caused the explosion? A gas leak? And you couldn’t find the gas valve because… Oh, I see. This is the
“gas vavle”.
English class to sign writer the entrance bekons.
(With Yoda too much time was spent.)
English
Class
Back
You Go
Because we wouldn’t want you to arrive after your departure…
Probably not at it is best.
Well, I know you
won’t be earning a
star…
We have cute LECKNACES, too!
And up “ahaed” you’ll glimpse a future without English class.
So, TP that tree
up ahaed?
Is this for
Trekkies?
But the sign said
“DRIVE IN”!
From The Committee
“ortherised” to dumb down
America.
Must be written by the same committee…
Would you hire this person as your personal typist?
“YA I GOT
DELIVERYS
FOR SOME
CANDYS
BERRYS AND
PASTRYS
THANKS
UPS”
For some Meace of Pind, stay at…
And they probably do New Job’s,
as well as Repair’s!
Found in the locker room right here at LMJ…
Unfortunately, even the college educated and professionals forget essential editing skills learned
in English class.
I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.Well, I’ll need a few…
How many people looked at these before someone noticed the errors?
Left, engraved on the Stanley Cup.
Great job, “Ilanders”!
Sometimes
it’s all about
the
placement
of signs.
Or the placement of punctuation.
Please don’t smoke your food or your pet!
The difference one comma can make…
The pecans are just the added bonus!
And this was
“perpared” by
an “honors”
university.
Nor is it too soon to add English to your curriculum!
I hate being
distrubbed!
Uneasiness: an understatement if flying with this airline.
And Hoppy New Yaer!
Hands off! This is Holiday’s.
And nobody else’s!
(Except maybe Marry’s or Happe’s.)
Because being
a 1, 2, or even
a 3 hour
leader just
isn’t the
same.
Unless they’re silent candles,
then it’s okay.
A customer ordered a cake from Walmart and told the decorator to write “‘Best Wishes Suzanne’ and then underneath that
‘We will Miss You.’” And here’s what the customer got…
Let’s stop here for some coffee and…
I’m so hungry, I could eat a…
Or should I have
the cold cats?
Decisions,
decisions.
Yes! Just what I was craving…
Just like mom used to make!
The benefits of taking English are
priceless.
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