Effective Conflict Management
Vikrant Joshi
Understanding conflicts….. • A situation in which someone believes that
his or her own needs have been denied……
• The energy that builds up when individuals or groups of people pursue incompatible goals in their drive to meet their needs and interests……
• The goal of organizational leadership is not to eliminate conflict, but to use it.
Understanding conflicts…..
“Conflict itself is neither good nor bad… What matters about conflict, in the end, is how we respond to it”
Brian Muldoon, The Heart of Conflict
Conflict is a problem when it:1. Hampers productivity
2. Lowers morale
3. Causes more & continued conflicts
4. Causes inappropriate behaviors
Nothing is said yet but things don't feel right. Discomforts
Incidents
Misunderstandings
Tensions
Crisis
Motives and facts are often confused or misperceived
Relationships are weighed down by negative attitudes and fixed opinions
Behavior is affected, normal functioning becomes difficult, extreme gestures are contemplated or executed
A short, sharp exchange occurs without any lasting internal reaction
Levels of Conflict
Perception is EVERYTHING!
WE SEE THINGS AS WE ARE; NOT AS THEY ARE.
A battle ship commander was guiding his ship through the night. Seeing a light coming toward them he signaled for the other craft to stand aside. Back came a signal that not only refused to stand aside, but suggested they should be the ones to stand aside instead.
Greatly irritated he signaled back, telling his rank as a commander and demanded that the craft stand aside. Back came the reply, signaled by an ordinary seaman, that they must stand aside.
Affronted he signaled “This is a battleship, change your course!”
Back came the reply “This is a lighthouse, change your course!”
PerceptionStory of the battleship commander
1. Perceptions are always incomplete to some extent, and perhaps even inaccurate.
2.1 + 1 = 3 …..there’s your viewpoint, my viewpoint,
and then there’s reality….
3. Own your perceptions – Don’t let them own you!
Perceived Reality
Conflict Management
The Heat - Video Cliphttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYYcvTrd7-A
TRUST!How can I trust you if you don’t allow me to be myself?
Trust people to be who they are Vs who we want them to be…..
Casey Stengel
It is easy to get the players on a team. Getting the team to play together is the hard part.
Circle of Influence
My Attitud
e
My Behavi
or
Your Attitud
e
Your Behavi
or
Circle of Concern
Circle of Influence
Betari Box Model
Speed of Trust
What is Your Speed of Trust ? http://
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qja9IVJkdoo
What is Conflict Management?
A principle that says all conflict cannot necessarily be resolved but learning how to manage conflicts can decrease the odds of non-productive escalation.
IssuePersonality
EmotionsInterests, Needs, and
DesiresSelf-Perceptions and Self-Esteem
Hidden Expectations
Unresolved Issues from the Past
How will you view conflict? Functional Vs Dysfunctional
“What would you like to see happen instead?”
“This issue presents us with a real challenge.”
“Your feedback helped me see ways that I could improve.
“We shot that idea down!”
“Your position is indefensible.”
“Thanks for dropping that bomb on me.”
Opportunity
War
The Balancing ActPreventing or resolving conflict involves two seemingly contradicting movements:
Supporting others by active listening
Asserting self by sending effective messages
Communication & ConflictSupportive Skills
1. Paraphrasing2. Openness3. Agreement stating
Assertive Skills1.I-Messages2.Preference stating3.Purpose stating
Competition Collaboration
Avoidance Accommodation
Compromise
COOPERATIVENESS
ASSE
RTIV
ENES
S
Blake & Mouton’s Conflict Grid
Avoidance
Low assertiveness & low cooperation……turtle
ASSE
RTIV
ENES
S
COOPERATIVENESS
AvoidLow
High
High• Individuals fail to address
the conflict. • Postponing a resolution
hinders group progress.
AccommodationLow assertiveness & high cooperation……the bear
ASSE
RTIV
ENES
S
COOPERATIVENESSLow
High
High• A strategy for resolving
immediate needs.
• Contains an element of self-sacrifice.
• Emphasizes common interests and deemphasizes differences in the group.
Accommodate
Competing
High assertiveness & low cooperation… the Shark
ASSE
RTIV
ENES
S
COOPERATIVENESSLow
High
High• A power-oriented
strategy.
• Competition should be based on whether winning the conflict is beneficial to individuals or the group.
Compete
CompromiseModerate assertiveness &moderate cooperation……the Fox
ASSE
RTIV
ENES
S
COOPERATIVENESSLow
High
High• A strategy for finding an
expedient solution.
• Compromise works towards partially satisfying both parties, but each party must honor the resolution for continued satisfaction.
Compromise
Collaboration
High assertiveness & high cooperation….the Owl
ASSE
RTIV
ENES
S
COOPERATIVENESSLow
High
High• A strategy that fully
satisfies both parties.
• The best decisions are made with collaboration, given the presence of trust, respect, and communication among group members.
Collaborate
Don’t let the conflict control you.
The conflict is not who you are !
Conclusion
Questions?