Relate Do managers need to be liked?
Octavius Black CEO, Mind Gym @octaviusblack Cathy Walton Creative Director, Mind Gym @themindgym
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What difference do managers make?
2 Source: Mollick, E. (2012). People and process, suits and innovators: the role of individuals in firm performance. Strategic Management Journal, 33(9), 1001-1015.
Designer Firm Producers (middle managers)
Other factors (game genre and
market)
48% 23% 21% 8%
Impact of different factors on revenue for computer games
% C
ontri
butio
n to
com
mer
cial
su
cces
s
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The 7 talents of a manager
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One matters more than all the rest
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Relate:
4
Acceptance of change
Acceptance of performance feedback
Job performance
Satisfaction and turnover
Career success
Buffer against stress
Innovation
Higher productivity greater sales
The quality of the manager – employee relationship has a direct impact on:
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Do I need to like someone to have
a good working relationship with them?
What do I do if I have to deal with
underperformance of someone I have a friendship with?
How do I balance being liked and
respected? How do I lead
the team and be part of it? Yet not be
one of them
How do I avoid inadvertent favouritism?
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Compounded by:
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Generation Ys and Millennials
demand informal management style
Awards for being a ‘great place to
work’
360 feedback/ ESS = a popularity contest/ surrogate for performance
management
Popularity of emotional intelligence
and authentic leadership
Social capital as political power especially in high sociability cultures
Talent management can become retention at
any cost
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So what makes a working relationship work?
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1. Remember why you are here
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the hero a counsellor liked
As a manager, your job is to deliver for the company.
The relationship is there to enable you to deliver; it is the means to the end not the end in itself
It’s NOT about being
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Determinants of successful partners in a professional services
2. Keep emotional control Self-regulation trumps all
Above TP
Below TP
Ann
ual p
rofit
$0m
$0.5m
$1m
$1.5m
$2m
Self-motivation Self-regulation People management
Cognitive
TP = the tipping point, the point at which the behaviour has been demonstrated sufficiently by a partner to create outstanding financial performance.
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Trip wires and alarm calls
Fight… or flight… or freeze…
or just right.
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3. Set the boundaries (you’re in charge) Formally and informally contract
to create the right levels of:
• Intimacy • Involvement • Control
For you and for them
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A fine managerial balance
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Too distant Too close Appropriate
Priority Task Outcome Relationship
Feedback None Descriptive feedback Praise
Poor performance Generalised Raise, discuss, move on Forgive/ignore
People orientated decisions Justice without mercy Justice with mercy Mercy without justice
Team members’ feelings Disinterested/ avoidant Empathetic Intrusive
Team members’ wellbeing Unaware Attentive Protective
Manager’s personal life Secretive/private Selective sharing Indiscreet
Team member’s life outside work
Detached Interested Intimate
Team dynamics Not bothered Impartial Colluding/favouritism
Availability Absent Accessible Ever present
Sees themself as Boss/controlling parent Manager/adult Friend/nurturing parent
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We all have psychological needs…
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...however tempting to get these met by our team, it’s a great mistake.
Liked
Understood
Involved/part of something
Admired/approved off
Valued
Safe
Independent/autonomous
Top dog
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Ruptures Someone in your team • Slightly frightens you/is aggressive • Complains about you to colleagues/boss • Consistently ignores/defies you • Shows you up • Lets you down • Is too close too soon • Patronises/belittles you
Or you • Overstep the mark • Get too close to manage performance • Collude for the sake of comfort • Undermine your own authority
and accountability • Fester and so withhold/punish
• Own the quality of the relationship
• Step back and look in
• Initiate repair attempts Apologise/Forgive and move on
• Have the critical conversation.
• Don’t withhold a repair attempt
And Repairs
4. Reinforce and repair the boundaries
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5. Build trust over the long haul
Connectedness + Credibility + Consistency
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Working relationships work when…
1. Remember why you are here
2. Keep emotional control
3. Set the boundaries
4. Reinforce and repair boundaries
5. Build trust over the long haul
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The sherpa manager
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Mind gym workouts
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Manager Talent Example Workouts: This can be primary or secondary depending on your needs
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