◦ Conflict: a disagreement between people with opposing view points, ideas, or goals.
◦ Conflicts can be an exchange of words◦ Group confrontations can be ongoing◦ Conflicts that involve weapons can be serious
What is Conflict
Some conflicts are with YOURSELF!
1. Resources: something usable, such as goods , property, money or time.
Examples??? Couples who fight over finances, which restaurant, study or go mall with mom, fighting over the computer…
2. Values: your beliefs and ideas you consider important
Examples??? Browns fan, daily PE class, politics,
3. Emotional Needs: the need to belong and feel respected and worthwhile
examples??? Left out, dis-respected, put down, feel it’s unfair didn't make the science Olympiad, sports team etc…
What Causes Conflict?
3 major reasons
Think of a conflict you’ve had recently and briefly describe.
Answer the following questions in your notes.
1.What was it about?2. What caused it? (Resources, Values, Emotional)
3. Was it resolved? Explain.
Journal
Managing my Anger/ConflictIf I learn to manage my
anger then…If I don’t and conflicts get
out of hand then…
Release frustrations of life.
Calls Attention to Problems
Helps us understand self and other’s values
Increases motivation to take action
Brings about change Healthier relationships
Anger can build and boil over
Can lead to violence Irrational thinking Not pleasant to be
around Lead to depression
(esp.boys)
You were just presented with a check for:
$1,000.00 List all the things you would do with the
money.
Activity #1
Hypocrite- One who subscribes to one set of values,
and does another.
Immaturity- one who has not defined their values, flighty, drifters, uncertain
Maturity-clear values, life of purpose, meaning and direction
What you choose to do with your time also has everything to do with what you value.
Calm. It. Down.
Brainstorm
Ask Questions; to learn the other
person’s point of view
Attack the Problem- not the
person!
Explain how you feel; Let each
person tell their side
Talk to a trusted adult
Positive Ways to Manage Anger
Take a time out to calm down and think through my anger.
Allow each person to tell his or her side then paraphrase the other persons position.
Let each person ask questions in order to view the issue from the others point of
view.
Keep brainstorming solutions either to find the middle ground or creative solution
Effective Conflict Management or Resolution Strategies T.A.L.K.
1. Identify the Problem◦ (Identify, ask yourself questions, what choices do you need to make and
who else if anyone is involved) What are the choices
◦ (List everything, ask for suggestions and make sure they are safe.) Gather Information- what’s helpful to know before making a
decision
Consider outcomes and values ◦ (honesty, respect and trust) Consequences of each options Healthful
Ethical Legal and Parent approval) Make a decision and act.
◦ (Ready to take action, choose a course that supports your values, the impact of all choices on self and others and ask a trusted adult if unsure.)
Evaluate your decision ◦ (Reach expectations, how did it affect others, how you feel about yourself
and what could you do differently)
Decision-making skills
Communication:The exchange of thoughts, feelings, beliefs
and wants between two or more people.
Communication Skills
Communication SkillsNon Verbal (without words)
Tone of VoiceHow you say something as important as
WHAT you say.
Body LanguageGestures
Facial expressions
posture
Sometimes verbal and non verbal messages can send two different messages. For that reason, be aware of the non verbal messages you send=
MIXED MESSAGE: occurs when your words say one thing but
your body language says another. (i.e. “sorry” while grinning) What does that tell the other person? Other examples??????
Communication Skills
You Messages: (blame /aggressive)“You can’t do anything right!”
I Messages- A statement that presents a situation from the speaker’s personal feelings/viewpoint:
“I’m mad because I wanted to work on the project together”
Communication Skills
Effective Verbal Communication:
Speaking Skills Listening Skills
Be clear Active Listening Use “I messages” Pay attention Stay Calm Use correct BL Stick to the point THINK first Choose the right time/place Ask open Questions Be aware of tone and B Language
Communication Skills
Round 1
Sender:
-Draw a picture on the Receivers back (ex. House , tree) Something recognizable.-Phone #- Pattern on how to get to some place in the classroom.
Round #2 Sender – Whispers-drawing-phone #-instructions on how to get to a place in the
classroom (ex. Under, over, crawling)Receiver- follows directions.
Communication Skills:PRACTICE:
Active Listening is hearing, thinking about and responding to the other person’s message.
More Listening Tips!1. Concentrate on what the other person is saying. Don’t be
thinking about what you are going to say next or interrupt. 2. Nod your head to show you are listening- give feed back”(then
what happened?”3. Let the person finish speaking!4. Stay calm- even if you’re hearing something you don’t like5. Keep an open mind; Listen even if you disagree accept that
others won’t always think the same way you do.
Listening
Pressure pushed toward making a certain choice.
A Peer is someone in your own age group.
Peer Pressure someone your own age, is pushing you
toward making a certain choice
Peer Pressure & Refusal Skills
Spoken vs. Unspoken
Peer Pressure
Spoken: Something said to you directly
Unspoken: When you feel you are supposed to do something
S.T.O.P.Say no in a firm voiceTell why notOffer other ideasPromptly leave
Refusal and Negotiation Skills
Aggressive: Overly forceful, pushy, hostile
PassiveGiving up, giving in, backing down, easy to
persuade.
Assertive Confidence and clearly stating your
intentions
A clear message depends on the way you communicate
Non Verbal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfDWQG
47pAQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwiNFcg
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Verbal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5hMN_
XkPQA